Virah raised the cup of hot cocoa to her nose and took a whiff at the sweet scent, her stomach growled as she started blowing on her drink, elliciting a giggle from Whitney.
"Well soone's eager to eat," the pinkette's soft expression went from playful to sullen in a mont's notice, "have you eaten breakfast yet?"
"Mhmm. I have," Virah nodded, "I… don't really feel hungry right now," Virah put her cup down and sighed, "so I think the growling was because of my gas,"
"You an…" Grene stopped what she was going to say once Virah shook her head towards her, "right," the martial artist said, "is your stomach okay?"
"I feel fine, don't worry about it," Virah waved Grene's concerns off.
"Tell us if you're not," Whitney replied, "feeling okay- I an,"
"Yeah, I will," Virah responded.
Silence reigned and Virah focused on cooling her drink for a good while. Her eyes scanned the park around them as the minutes went on, observing anything she could spot. Their Pokemon were doing well, and were even continuing to exercise after they finished resting.
No one spoke for a while and because of that, Virah was stuck in her thoughts, mainly, the ti when she had that… dream, or vision, maybe, she's heard that so psychics had those.
As far as she's aware though, she wasn't exactly one of those people so her getting one was a bit strange to be honest but then again, she did encounter a… pack? Group? Alphabet- she did encounter an alphabet of Unowns in her dreams so maybe they shared their vision with her?
'It still feels weird though,' Virah looked down at her cup and dazed out, 'what did… it wasn't the Unowns who were in control of that dream…'
She still had a hard ti believing that the actual God of all Pokemon talked to her in a vision- it's such a weird thing to think about and Virah couldn't wrap her head around it no matter how much ti passed.
Seriously, the Creator talked to her and that's… not really a normal thing for kids her age- anyone to experience.
People have said that eting a Legendary is a once in a lifeti experience and that it would change the person encountering that event in ways they couldn't fathom and Virah liked to think that she also subscribed to that idea but…
'Where's my change, exactly?' Virah internally asked as she eyed her hands, 'I don't think I'm any different from the girl I used to be before I got that dream,'
Well… that is save for the obvious fact that she was now gaunt, weak, and with a very harsh appetite that requires her to constantly eat.
Virah took a sip of her cocoa, 'but there's no major change other than that though…'
She was still good ol Virah, which made her wonder just how Arceus expected her to sohow save the world and fulfill the purpose he had given her in the dream or whatever.
'Do I even have a purpose?..' Virah asked herself.
The poison specialist flinched when she felt a poke on her cheek and she quickly turned to Whitney, who shot her a playful grin.
"You look like you're thinking about sothing," the pinkette pressed her index finger against her cheek, "I wonder what?"
"Nothing," Virah shook her head, "it's noth…" Virah cut herself off when she saw Whitney's frown. Virah sighed, "I… look-" she sighed again, this ti louder than before, "what do you think we're all here for?"
"Huh?" Whitney's confused response made Virah frown, "I don't know what you an?.."
"I an why are we doing the things we do?" Virah carefully explained, she raised her hands to the sky in exaggeration, "why keep eating, waking up- training- why… this?"
"I don't know about you but-"
Virah put down her arms and faced Whitney, the pinkette wasn't facing her, instead her eyes were directed to the skies, her legs beneath her swung back and forth, and the smile she paired on her expression was angelic. Content.
"- for , I wake up and get out of bed just to see what's the world like," Whitney answered, "I don't know if this is what you an but… I also felt… tired. I guess."
"Felt?" Grene said, "when?"
"When we killed that Caterpie," Whitney replied, "I… don't know why but I didn't want to get up, or eat- or do anything at all and I thought that I was weak and-" Whitney sniffled, "- it was like I didn't want to live,"
Virah and Grene went silent, with the poison specialist looking down on her cocoa and the martial artist grabbing a Pokeball to inspect it.
"I didn't want to do anything… but I did," Whitney said.
"How?" Grene asked, the question sounding casual but laced with an undertone of envious curiosity.
"Because I was embarrassed about you guys thinking I was being weird," Whitney giggled, "so I went along," she said, "and I… don't know, but I just- it all washed away and my happiness beca real again,"
Was it that easy?
Virah wondered if all it took for her current feelings to go away was ti, that all she needed to do was wait them out until they fizzled away into nothingness. That… they will fade away and beco nothing eventually.
'No, that isn't enough,'
"What did you an when you said you wanted to see what's the world's like earlier?" Virah asked.
"I don't know but I want to see everyday… I guess?" Whitney replied, she giggled, "I don't wanna miss out on things so I get out of bed to see them for myself!"
"And that just works?" Grene said.
"Ehehe~ yeah?" Whitney replied.
"That's…" Virah trailed off, "I… guess it makes sense?" Virah replied. She took a sip of cocoa and chewed on Whitney's words, "I also don't want to miss out on things," Virah replied, "I don't want anything to go to waste so I should definitely start doing things too!"
She may have said that last part a bit too loudly and upon realizing that, Virah shrunk into herself.
"You're right," Grene nodded, "I also don't want to lose any opportunities,"
"Right?~" Whitney chorused, her usual bubbly tone now back, "I want to see the world every day and I don't want it to continue without so I try my best to get up!"
Virah and Grene nodded but otherwise kept their silence.
And that silence went on to infect the rest of their conversation into lulling, but the tense atmosphere had gone away and was now replaced by sothing warm- comforting.
Virah blew on her hot cocoa for one last ti, afterwards she took one long sip that caused the chocolate to visibly lower.
Virah pressed her elbows against her knees and looked up at the skies in deep contemplation, 'what did any of that even an?'
If she were to be honest, Virah would say that everything they just talked about was absolutely lost to her, there was no coherent context or anything like that that she could piece together so that she could understand what "trying her best to get out of bed" ans…
… And maybe that was the point?
Virah took another long sip from her cup and humd in thought, really, there was no other way to get to know her own emotions other than to experience them herself.
Understanding sothing so abstract was honestly harder than training her own Aura, and that was the point- emotions weren't supposed to be easy to figure out or even get resolved in a month- or less.
'Maybe,' Virah took another sip, 'emotions are so hard to understand,'
But still, a part of Virah believed and understood Whitney when she said that she gets out of bed to "see what the world is like," as she herself felt the sa every morning, and in those hazy tis where she could only partially understand things, there was one thing that was consistent through it all-
The fact that she was curious to see everyone's faces, what they do, and how her team would do later down the line of that particular day.
She wanted to see what the world is like so staying in bed and doing nothing all day would not feed her curiosity, let alone give it satisfaction.
Virah finished her drink, "you know, I think I understand now," Virah broke the silence, "I want to see my Pokemon grow stronger every day and to do that, I need to get out of bed,"
"So you don't have ti to sulk," Grene said.
"Mhmm." Virah humd in agreent, "it's like that,"
For so reason though, looking back on all the tis she had felt tired in the morning was no longer as disconcerting and uncomfortable as it was before she talked to her friends.
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