I Should Have Just Died Chapter 148

Knock-knock-

Seidrick knocked on Alyssa's door.

After countless worries, Alyssas door felt like it was beyond an iron wall that he couldn't cross. Seidrick took a deep breath.

Alyssa has always seed like the most challenging task for Seidrick.

And it was still the sa today.

Seidrick patted his face, stroking his haggard face from taking dicine these days. He wanted to look a little better, especially since he had never shown Alyssa better.

What kind of image does Seidrick an to Alyssa?

Sid the gardener, who she would rather be her friend?

Is that all?

Seidrick was impatient.

He will be leaving soon. He was worried about how Alyssa would change during the months he was away and whether his existence would be completely removed from her mind. If he loses Alyssa, whom he has already cherished deeply in his heart, even if he recovers from the illness, he will feel empty as if he is dead.

If that's the punishnt Alyssa gives to Seidrick, he knows he should just take it sweetly, but

Just once.'

Seidrick wishes he had a chance to hold Alyssa just once. To prepare for that opportunity, he knocked on Alyssa's door like this.

Based on the many conversations he had as Gardener Sid.

I earnestly use the emotional exchange between the two as an excuse.

Alyssa.

Seidrick called out Alyssa's na.

The door opened. Alyssa, dressed in a comfortable outfit and shawl, held a quill in her hand. He must have been writing a manuscript.

Seidrick?

can I go inside?

"Ah."

Alyssa scrambled out of the way. Alyssa was so startled by Seidricks sudden visit that she didn't even know what to say because she had never thought of him coming.

Its the first ti.

Seidrick muttered softly.

The room slled of Alyssa. On that wet day in the rain, the day they shared their breath, the scent he slled. Seidrick's cheeks turned slightly red.

Alyssa looked at his complexion as he leaned his back against the door.

What brought you here?

Her heart was beating loudly. Alyssa was fiddling with her hair.

It was then that he saw the quill in her hand. Even the smudged ink on her hands. Alyssa hid her hand behind her back. No matter how she felt about Seidrick, it was undeniable that there was love mixed in between them. So she only wants to show him a pretty and good figure.

She didn't want to look shabby anymore.

Seidrick looked around the room slowly for a while.

even this place resembles you, Alyssa.

Seidrick laughed slightly. Maybe his smile doesn't look as bright as before because hes in a different place. In the garden, Seidrick's smile has always been a source of strength for Alyssa. He had a dazzling smile that seed to have been made by processing sunlight. But now

Alyssa bit her lip in frustration.

It seed to her that Seidrick was being gnawed by the sickness day by day. He was gradually drying up, and Seidrick's digging cheeks and eyes caught Alyssa.

The doctor told him that the dicine he was using was strong, so it couldn't help but affect his body. However, every ti she sees his pants and shirts that are baggy like that, one side of her chest feels cold. Alyssa rolled her eyes down. If she doesn't look at him, it's probably easier for her, but it remains like an afterimage in her and shakes her up.

, what do you an it looks like ?

Your scent is everywhere.

Seidrick muttered languidly and asked.

can I sit down?

His finger was pointing at the table where she had been writing the manuscripts. Alyssa paused and then nodded her head. She didn't care anyway that it was now revealed that she was the author of Clemore.

Seidrick sat down and tapped Alyssa's seat.

Why don't you co and sit down, Alyssa. I think your legs will hurt.

"Ah."

Alyssa, who was standing blankly, shook her head and sat down. The clear eyes facing Seidrick are beautiful. It was glistening with light. Seidrick looked into those eyes as if possessed.

I wish it would stop like this forever.

Do what you were doing.

Arent you here because you have sothing to say?

Seidrick shook his head quietly.

"I"

Seidrick took a deep breath.

I like you very much.

It was the truth that was pouring out gently. Alyssa was the only thing in Seidricks blue eyes. Even the red face.

So Im sorry.

Seidrick took a long breath and continued.

I just ca to see you. Can you just let see you like this?

Alyssa couldn't decide what to do with the confession she suddenly heard. Seidrick had a knack for making complicated things easy. The confession was sothing she's never heard of before, but he suddenly shows his sincerity at a ti like this.

He made her heart ache.

Alyssa's lips don't want to open as if they had heavy weights on them.

That ant that Seidrick was accustod to showing emotions, and Alyssa was not. Shes been living under soone's coercion all her life, so it was understandable. Alyssa smiled bitterly at the sudden difference.

Alyssa nodded her head quietly.

Actually, Im writing a novel.

Seidrick nodded quietly.

So I was writing a manuscript. I have to send it to my tomorrow, but I cant finish it.

What kind of story were you writing?

"Well"

Alyssa fixed her quill.

The female lead is Clemore. Now I was writing the scene where Clemore is going to the last social party.

Why the last?

Clemore is going to leave. She wants to organize her life where she had lived. She wants to go where no one recognizes her.

that is a bad idea.

Seidrick muttered unknowingly. Ophelia had said Alyssa was substituting herself for Clemore. And Seidrick already felt it. Clmore was the character representing Alyssa.

Clemore's departure matched Alyssa's desire to do so.

So he spits it out without realizing it.

"Yes?"

"Ah"

Seidrick shook his head.

I thought that those left behind would be very sad.

maybe at first. Because they had ti with Clemore. But, theyll find out later. that it was right, and that ends up being better for each other.

They may never forget Clemoreuntil the very end. To them, Clemore must be a very precious person.

The gloomy dark eyes stared intently at Alyssa. Seidrick was telling his own story on behalf of the characters in the novels. After Alyssa leaves, he will surely be despondent. He will never forget her.

He will be wasting ti wandering around looking for Alyssa.

It seed as if his own future had been drawn out.

Alyssa shook her head.

Ti is dicine, Seidrick. Any ti.

Why dont Clemore stay and get through that ti? Im sure Clemore certainly doesnt feel so light about leaving either."

The Alyssa that Seidrick knew was like that.

It may be. I'm sure Clemore will regret it. She cares deeply for the people she has made new friends with. However"

Alyssa lowered her head with a hazy look on her face. Her eyes were locked as darkly as Seidrick as she looked at the near-finished manuscript. Co to think of it, Seidrick was talking as if he knew the contents of the novel. No, he probably knows.

Among the people of Avery Kingdom, there was no intellectual who did not know the story of the Clemore novel.

Isn't it a world everyone has dread of at least once?

Alyssa was fully aware of the repercussions she had caused herself.

Seidrick must have heard of it in so way.

but, Seidrick, for Clemore, it was the first ti she made a decision for herself. She decided on her own will. She wants to leave.

At those words, it seems that Seidrick smiled painfully. It was the sa as seeing the distorted expression between the hands that brushed his brow and brushed his face. However, Seidrick quickly captured his feelings. There was not even the slightest stir in his smiling face with his head raised.

"I see. Others will support Clemores choice. After they got to know her heart.

I hope so.

Alyssa nodded her head slowly. Her hand slightly trembled as she pulled her quill and dipped it in the inkwell.

Is it because she's in front of Seidrick?

She clasped her hand with the other hand.

She felt like she was about to cry.

To say that the left behind will miss Clemore a lot seed to be a confession of Seidricks feelings for Alyssa. He seed to be saying that the people of Cambridge would have a hard ti missing her.

Really?'

It seems that the people who value Clemore are the Cambridge people who value Alyssa.

Seidrick.

It felt like he was holding on to Alyssa.

Desperately.

Seidricks emotions and expressions, which had vanished between his palms, remained in Alyssa's mind. Alyssa missed her quill.

And then she asked

what do you think youll be?"

The purple eyes fluttered fiercely.

If I said I was leaving, what would Seidrick be like?

Alyssa asked again. With Seidrick in her eyes.