I Should Have Just Died Chapter 137

And Alyssa tends to believe in the philosopher's words.

It's her heart, not her head, that makes her cry, laugh, and want to die. Clemore started killing herself.

She skipped als.

She couldnt sleep properly.

She keeps thinking about consuming herself.

She vomited what she ate.

She avoided being with anyone.

Alyssa was aware that it was not significantly different from what she was doing. Maybe she was killing herself from the mont she first thought she was going to die. Alyssa smiled faintly.

I too

Before Alyssa could finish her thoughts any further, she heard a voice calling her from the kitchen. This ti, Sid saved her from thoughts of devouring herself.

"Lisa! Lets eat.

He rummaged alone and seed to have done sothing. There was a savory and warm sll coming from the kitchen. Alyssa stood up with the blanket on. The firewood Alyssa threw in one by one was burning itself brightly.

She was no longer cold. The rainwater soaking her body doesn't feel cold.

Alyssa ambled.

It slls delicious, Sid.

"Yes. Luckily, there were potatoes and onions. It was simply seasoned with salt and pepper. It will be quite tasty and warm. At the very least, it will protect you from hunger and the cold. Eat it."

Steam was rising from the bowl Sid had placed in front of Alyssa. It was raining, and she couldn't wash properly, and her body was still wet. The fishy sll, still fresh from the rain, seed to co from her. It was strange that she was hungry.

Rumble-

She was sure she wasnt hungry.

Alyssa picked up the spoon.

"It's delicious. really."

They say that hunger is the best side dish. Eat a lot.

Seidrick sat across from Alyssa.

I think I always just receive. Can I not give to soone?

Alyssa said sullenly. When it cos to moving her body, she has always been useless. It was incredibly upsetting today.

It's even more when she thinks of Seidrick alone going back and forth in this unfamiliar villa to prepare als.

In addition, the kitchen and living room, which were full of dust, were neatly cleaned from when they ca. When Alyssa moved hard with the dishcloth earlier, nothing had changed.

Then you can do sothing else.

"Sothing else? What is it?

Alyssa asked with her eyes wide open.

While eating, Seidrick put down the spoon. What should Alyssa do?

Forgiveness.

Will she be able to forgive herself?

Seidrick laughed bitterly. It was pathetic to himself as he hadn't told the truth yet. Why is his mouth not opening?

No, he actually knew why.

It's scary to be hated by Alyssa. He was afraid that she would stare at Seidrick with a cold gaze. It's just that the ti he spends with Alyssa like this blinds Seidrick and turns his eyes away from the truth.

Even though he knew it, he was not paying attention to it.

Stupid kid.

Seidrick asks for Alyssa's forgiveness. He hopes she gives him another chance again. All of a sudden, like this rainwater, for Alyssa to have no intention of leaving him.

And again

He hopes Alyssa forgives herself.

Why the hell is she trying to shoulder everything alone

Even though it's not Alyssa's fault, she always considers herself a sinner. He knew she was hurting herself.

By not eating properly and not sleeping, she puts herself at risk.

That's sothing people with ordinary minds don't do.

Alyssa was a very sick person.

Seidrick laughed bitterly.

If I make a big mistake soday, please look back at generously.

"Well? Is that enough?

"Yes. It is the most difficult thing.

I find it the easiest.

Alyssa smiled brightly.

I've never really had anyone wrong . But if you sincerely wish for it how difficult is it to forgive your mistake? I'm sure I'll do it well."

Lisa didn't know it was such a considerable arrogance.

* * *

You havent told her yet?

Ophelia asked pitifully. The fever had gone down now, but she still had a hot face.

Alyssa and Seidrick returned with a delay. Seidrick, who took Alyssa to the front of the mansion, pretended to go back to the garden and then ca back to the estate. It was a very la move, but she was deceived.

Maybe it's because she's drained and exhausted. She can't afford to look back on things that were so easy to notice.

In fact, Ophelia was surprised that Alyssa didn't notice. The clothes that Seidrick was wearing now were of materials that could never be obtained as a gardener. The fact that he wore it so casually, and got it rained on, ans that he has a secret, but Alyssa didnt even doubt it.

You either cant afford it, or you dont want to doubt it.

Whatever it is Alyssa's relationship with Seidrick becos increasingly problematic.