Volu 2, Chapter 9: Coincidence
“Ah.”
“Huh…?”
I was on my way to the 24-hour supermarket in front of the train station when I unexpectedly ran into soone I knew. We stood in front of each other with our mouths open like idiots and then pointed at each other at the sa ti.
“Yoshida-senpai.”
“What are you doing here?”
Mishima was standing in the street at night, dressed in a tailor’s suit.
“Ah… I went to see a movie.”
“You just got off work and went straight to see a movie. You sure have a lot of energy left in you.”
The fact that she was still in her suit ant that she hadn’t gone ho yet. To my surprise, Mishima nodded while showing an ambiguous smile on her face.
“There’s sothing I really wanted to see.”
“What’s it called?”
“Ah… hmm… the movie’s called Song of Hydrangea1.”
“Oh, you an the one with the huge poster in front of the station?”
Every morning, I see a huge poster on my way to the train station. If I rember correctly, the leading lady was one of Hashimoto’s favorite actresses. When that guy talked to about that movie, he told over and over again “You should definitely go see it” but I couldn’t rember the details because every ti he told about it, I didn’t really pay him any attention.
“Was it good?”
“Well, yeah… it made cry.”
As I received such a vague response from Mishima, I noticed that her eyes were a little red. It really was a movie that made her cry.
“So it seems.”
My attention reverted from the movie to the fact that she was here.
“Why are you here? You’re in the opposite direction from the train station.”
I could tell that Mishima had co to the station to watch a movie, but it felt strange to see her on this road leading away from the station. Even though she was walking in this direction, there wasn’t any particular store that she could stop by. It was just a residential area. Mishima responded to my question by scratching her cheek with her index finger.
“I was in the mood for a little walk. Co to think of it, this is the neighborhood where you live, Yoshida-senpai.”
“What kind of explanation is that?”
“Anyway, what are you doing out here Yoshida-senpai?”
“Oh? Yeah…”
I couldn’t tell her that Gotou-san was at my house.
I ca to buy so ingredients for breakfast, but I couldn’t help but notice the way Sayu was acting when she asked . I got the feeling that she was trying to get rid of or sothing. However, it was hard to imagine that Sayu would actively want to be alone with Gotou-san, and also there is a possibility that I’m reading too much into it.
“I’m going to buy so ingredients for breakfast.”
“Yoshida-senpai makes his own breakfast huh? That’s a little unexpected.”
“I don’t make it, Sayu does.”
When I answered, Mishima’s body shook. She then looked at with a slightly puzzled expression.
“Huh? Sayu-chan’s at your ho right now?”
“What? Of course, she is. She has no other place to stay, so…”
“…Oh, right.”
Mishima answered briefly, with an ambiguous implication.
“Can I go with you?”
“I don’t mind, but do you even like going shopping?”
“I’m curious to know what Yoshida-senpai eats.”
“For real?”
Showing a firm smile, Mishima followed as if it were expected. Mishima, with a tight smile on her face, nodded at as she should have. Even when I was buying nira, eggs, and miso at the grocery store, Mishima would ask questions about this and that.
“It’s for Niratama2 right?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Do you often prepare Niratama?”
“No, I don’t think it was that often.”
“If you’re eating nira in the morning, your mouth’s going to sll a little bad.”
“That’s to be expected, so I’ll brush my teeth before I leave.”
When I said that, Mishima laughed. Then she pointed to the basket that I’m holding.
“Actually, would that be enough?”
“For what?”
“There are only four eggs in there.”
“That’s right… they have a discount and since it’s only for two people, I don’t have to buy many.”
With that said, I rembered that I seed to have run out of beer. I took so beer cans that were piled up from the liquor section, and they were suddenly seized by Mishima.
“Hey, what’s going on?!”
“Let ask you sothing.”
“Huh?”
I glared at Mishima as disapproval for confiscating my beer, but I was so surprised by the seriousness of her face that it made lose my annoyance. Mishima looked in the eye and spoke.
“If I ask you to let stay at your place tonight, would you let ?”
For a mont my mouth was open, but what she said was so out of the blue that it made sigh deeply.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Exactly what I an.”
“Why should I let a woman who’s not my lover stay over for the night?”
“But Sayu-chan isn’t your lover.”
“I told you, I’m just trying to protect her.”
“Then, what about Gotou-san?”
I was speechless. Mishima frowned a little and spoke again.
“How’s Gotou-san?”
“What does Gotou-san have to do with this?”
Mishima frowned in a way that was neither angry nor sad and then lashed out at .
“Why would you deceive like that?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You are! Gotou-san’s at your place right now!”
I blinked my eyes when Mishima said that with a strong tone.
“Hey, how do you know that…”
Mishima choked on my words, then dropped her gaze to the floor.
“I voluntarily worked overti today, which is rare for . I was hoping that you might praise for that tomorrow, Yoshida-senpai.”
Mishima made no eye contact with but continued to speak slowly.
“When I left the office after working on one program, I saw you and Gotou-san coming out of a yakiniku place in front of the station. It made curious. I was wondering which station you were getting off at and it’s actually the station closest to your ho.”
Mishima said that and then glanced at .
“Um… sorry for following you. I deeply apologize.”
“Ah, it doesn’t matter, well…”
Only vague words ca out. Instead of anger, what I felt was more like an annoyance.
“Then, on impulse, I got off at the station too. When I followed you and saw you walking towards your residential area, that’s when I realized, “Oh, they’re going ho…” Sohow… I felt so helpless… So I went to the movie theater and watched the movie I wanted to see, but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around what had happened.”
“H-hey…”
Mishima began to tear up more and more as she continued to speak, and I was just confused. Mishima didn’t seem to want to cry at all, so she put so effort into her eyebrows and made a show of trying to hold back her tears. After a short pause, she continued.
“I couldn’t just go ho that’s why I was wandering around aimlessly when suddenly, I bumped into you… So I thought of asking you about your relationship with Gotou-san.”
“Hey, you…”
“But you’re so bent on trying to hide the fact that it made furious…”
Mishima stopped talking, and with the nasal drip running from her nose, she put the beers she had seized back into the basket.
“Let’s finish shopping and then leave.”
“Oh, yeah… That’s what I’ve been thinking all along.”
“Don’t sweat the details.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mishima as she walked hurriedly towards the cash register. I added a few more cans of beer and then went after her.
*
I was standing in a small space in front of the supermarket with a plastic bag, which was heavier than I expected, and Mishima, who was slightly unhappy and sucking on a pack of soy milk. A few monts had passed since we had finished shopping and walked out, but Mishima remained silent.
I had no idea why this was happening, but it’s not a situation where I can just say “Well, I’m going ho,” and I was just standing there without a place to go.
“So that’s how it is.”
Mishima spoke suddenly.
“I was so sure that Sayu-chan wasn’t ho, that’s why I thought you’d taken the opportunity to bring Gotou-san ho.”
“That’s impossible since there isn’t a mont when Sayu isn’t ho.”
“Though I don’t really know why, in any case, that’s what occurred to .”
Mishima said and once again sipped her pack of soy milk. After gulping it down, she looked at sideways.
“You know, did you really think I would invite the woman I like over when there’s a high school girl ho?”
“Well, that’s…”
“So, that ans Sayu-chan and Gotou-san are keeping each other company right now?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“I don’t really get it…”
Mishima muttered, then shook the pack of soy milk she had in her hand. Apparently, she had already drunk it all.
“Just to confirm, you still like Gotou-san, right?
“Huh? Oh, that’s…”
Mishima suddenly asked that question, and I was confused and stamred. There was no point in trying to hint at what she already knew.
“Well, I an… I can’t just give up that easily.”
I refrained from saying anything to Mishima because I didn’t think it was necessary at this point to tell her that our feelings were mutual.
“If that’s the case, what you’re doing isn’t right, Yoshida-senpai.”
“Why’s that?”
I bowed my head to Mishima’s words. When she saw , Mishima frowned and shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know the exact details, but usually, when you bring the woman you like ho, you wouldn’t just leave a high school girl that’s been staying with you alone with her.”
“No, that’s…”
Before I could explain that it was Gotou-san who wanted to et with her, Mishima continued talking.
“If you’ve really fallen in love with the woman you’ve always liked, then isn’t love powerful enough to make you ignore everything else? The woman you’ve been in love with for a long ti is at your ho. The presence of a high school girl will hinder your chance to advance the relationship in many ways.”
“That’s probably true, but that doesn’t an I’m going to kick her out.”
When I said that, Mishima shook her head.
“Normally… you’d kick her out.”
The words were uttered in a chilling tone that I had never heard from her before.
“A high school girl with unknown origins or the woman you’ve fallen for? You don’t even have to think about who’s more important.”
“Hold on…”
I said that, trying to cut off Mishima. She glared at with frustration evident on her face.
“What exactly are you trying to say? Why are you bad-mouthing Sayu all of a sudden?”
“It’s not like I’m trying to speak badly of Sayu-chan. She’s a good girl.”
“But you said sothing about how it would be better to get rid of her!”
“I didn’t say you should get rid of her!”
Mishima shook her head and looked in the eye.
“In the end, what are your priorities, Yoshida-senpai?’
“Priorities?”
When I tilted my head, Mishima sighed and nodded.
“That’s right. There’s Gotou-san, who you’ve always thought of, then there’s Sayu-chan, who you brought ho a while back. And as the situation stands, Gotou-san’s coming over to your ho.”
“Right, and?”
“If I really wanted to develop a romantic relationship with Gotou-san, I’d do my absolute best to keep Sayu-chan’s existence a secret from her. ‘I want to go out with you, but I’m staying together with a high school girl who isn’t family.’ That just sounds completely ridiculous, don’t you think?”
“Look, as I was saying—”
As expected, I couldn’t keep quiet and interrupted her.
“That doesn’t an I can simply get rid of Sayu. If I did, it would an that I have kicked her out if I started dating Gotou-san, wouldn’t it?”
“Exactly!!!”
Mishima suddenly scread and stomped the ground with her shoes. It was the first ti I had ever heard her raise her voice like that, so I was a little taken aback. Mishima quickly opened her mouth and bowed her head, as if she had just realized sothing.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s fine…”
Mishima lowered her gaze to the ground, then continued speaking.
“I’m just… I’m saying that would be the normal thing to do.”
“So that’s what you’re saying.”
“It’s about deciding whether to throw Sayu out or not. If you really like Gotou-san, then you should make it your priority to date her.”
“…But.”
“No, I understand. I really do.”
Mishima looked back at and then smiled. It was obviously a forced smile and I could feel the pain behind it.
“Yoshida-senpai, I know that you’re not the type of person capable of doing that. But… at the sa ti, I can’t help thinking…”
Mishima paused for a mont, sighed deeply, and then continued.
“That’s no longer sothing you can call love, right?”
“Huh?”
“It’s about your feelings for Gotou-san. I think you might be confusing pure admiration with feelings of love.”
“No, that’s not—”
“And that perhaps…”
Mishima interrupted and then looked at sideways.
“Your feelings for Sayu-chan are turning into love.”
“Absolutely not.”
Our glances t. Mishima’s eyes seed to be filled with so kind of unstable emotional turmoil.
“Is that so?”
We remained still for a few seconds, then Mishima looked away.
“If that’s the case, you’re too nice of a person, Yoshida-senpai.”
Mishima scratched her head.
“If you’re too nice, you won’t be able to get what you really want.”
Mishima continued to throw out her opinions.
“…Sayu-chan won’t be staying at your place forever, you know?”
I wanted to say sothing back, but I couldn’t think of anything at all. As I was speechless, Mishima looked up and clumsily put on a smiling face.
“I’ve been such a bad girl today!”
“No, not really.”
“I’m sorry! If I stay with you any longer, I’m afraid I’ll say sothing unnecessary, so I’m going to leave now.”
“O-oh… I see. I’ll walk you to the station.”
“No, thanks! Go ho as quickly as possible, Yoshida-senpai. I’m sure they’re both waiting for you.”
“You’re the one who held back.”
“Hehe.”
Being quick to make light of these things, sohow it made feel like I was a little child.
“Well then, thank you for your ti!”
“Oh… yeah.”
Mishima turned on her heels and walked quickly to the station. As I watched her walk away, I thought of Mishima’s smile from a few minutes ago. It was an awkward, fake smile that seed to be masking her true feelings. Compared to that, the smile that Sayu had put on when she first ca to my place was better.
Mishima had a trendous amount of enthusiasm and was probably trying to tell sothing that I don’t yet understand. Though, I think I still have not accurately grasped whatever that was. I sighed and started to walk back ho.
It’s about your feelings for Gotou-san. I think you might be confusing pure admiration with feelings of love.
Mishima’s words resonated in my head. That can’t be true. I think it’s safe to say that I’m still in love with Gotou-san. There was no one else who could make my heart beat so fast, and no one else who had any great aning to .
And then.
Your feelings for Sayu-chan are turning into love.
That’s the one thing that’s never going to happen. I just want to protect her from the unreasonable conditions she has been subjected to. I wanted to help her get back on the right track. I don’t have the slightest desire to do anything with Sayu as a woman. However, Mishima’s words made realize sothing.
I simply wanted to offer Sayu a refuge until she cos to terms with her past and her feelings about it. However, exactly how long would that take? A month? Maybe half a year? It could be a year from now or several years for that matter. Or, maybe it’ll be tomorrow. When I thought about it, I was stunned. I couldn’t imagine my life without Sayu anymore.
“That’s strange…”
I placed my hand over my mouth. Mishima was right. Perhaps it would be difficult to have a relationship with Gotou-san while Sayu is at ho.
When I told Gotou-san about Sayu, she told , “I can’t comprehend it. You said you liked , didn’t you? But while you say that, you also said that you’re living with a girl I know nothing of, and that sickens .” Even if she could co to terms with that, as long as Sayu is around, I would never be able to invite Gotou-san ho and do things that lovers typically do.
If that’s the case, when is the ti that I will be able to be with Gotou-san? And where would Sayu be? What would she be doing by then? When I thought about those two things, my mind went blank. Nothing cos to mind.
“…This is troubling.”
I found myself overwheld by it. And without any progress in my thoughts, I arrived at ho.
I stood in front of the door and took a deep breath. On the other side of this door are Sayu and Gotou-san. I knew I couldn’t just walk in with a sowhat hazy expression on my face.
With one hand, I gave myself a slight slap on the cheek and said “Alright!” to motivate myself. I inserted the key and turned it. I felt strangely nervous, even though I was only going ho.
Note:
[1] A movie based on a 1962 Japanese novel of the sa na. There’s not much information about it.
[2] Niratama (ニラ玉) literally ans “garlic chive eggs” in Japanese and is a dish of Chinese origin that’s been adapted using Japanese ingredients. Flavorful and nutritionally dense, it’s beco a staple of ho cooking in Japan, and it’s eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Reviews
All reviews (0)