Episode 26: Damn Cliché
…What did she just say?
Husband?
‘Hey, Skybreaker. Do you know that woman?’
[How would I know so random person from the Martial World?]
‘Then what the hell is this?’
I was dumbfounded. Just as dumbfounded, Tang Siyuk looked at and said,
“Sir, what’s going on? Did she really say ‘husband’? Is what that Paeng Clan lunatic said true? Is that why you knew about Treasure Hoarders?”
“No way. This is my first ti seeing her too.”
Treasure Hoarders.
A group ford by the cherished daughter of the Paeng Clan of Hebei, one of the Five Great Houses. They specialized in professional ruin exploration.
I rembered what Yun Yeopja and Tang Siyuk had said when ruins were first ntioned.
“That’s right. A few years ago, a ruin was discovered with the sword manual of the ancient master Three Joy Blade Saint from 300 years ago. It caused a huge commotion.”
“In the end, the Paeng Clan fought fiercely and claid it. I ran into so of their people recently, and they were full of themselves.”
The Paeng Clan had absorbed the swordsmanship essence left behind by the Three Joy Blade Saint and were rapidly rising in power. Even the Namgung Clan, typically unmatched among the Five Great Houses, was on edge.
Paeng Soso had gotten a taste for ruins after that incident. She had personally witnessed what a windfall it was to successfully explore a ruin. She then secretly embezzled so clan funds and ran away, founding Treasure Hoarders.
The masculine Paeng Clan simply assud she ran away and left it at that.
“Then why the hell is she calling husband...?”
“I want to know that too.”
We were shocked, but the mbers of Treasure Hoarders just sighed and shook their heads.
“Ugh… Here we go again. She’s at it again.”
“Wasn’t she into that sea guy last ti? Said sothing about liking rugged types.”
“Didn’t she go on about how ‘real n only need one eye!’ or whatever? Isn’t this guy way too pretty to be a ‘real man’?”
Judging by their reactions, this wasn’t anything new.
“You all wanna die? Want your tongues to et the dirt?”
“Gah! Sorry!”
As Paeng Soso snapped, they all shut up.
“Sothing’s not right…”
She was definitely Paeng Soso. Small fra, looked like a middle schooler. And there were few masters who could wield a saber that massive.
Even Tang Siyuk seed to recognize her—this had to be her.
But still, she wasn’t like the Paeng Soso I knew.
The one I knew was greedy to the core, dragging chaos and slaughter wherever she went. I’d worked sales for years in the modern world, and I’d t all kinds of people—one look at soone’s eyes was enough to get a sense of them. And hers were too clear.
That kind of person burning down her own clan for treasure? It made no sense.
‘Is there a variable I don’t know yet?’
It was still about three years earlier than when Paeng Soso made her first appearance in Return of the Murim.
“Still, can a person really change that much?”
Then again, there were other oddities too. Saweol had gotten goofier and more absent-minded, and Tak Horak was unusually loyal and obedient. The people around were just a bit off from how I rembered them.
Wait a minute.
Don’t tell —
“Hey!”
Just as I was about to piece together a major secret, Paeng Soso marched over.
And, as expected, the first to react was Tang Siyuk.
“Don’t co!”
“What the heck, Tang Siyuk. Why so cold to your dear older sister?”
“Stay away! Sir, we need to run! If she gets a hold of you, you’re done—”
“Done? Done, huh??”
“I still have nightmares about what happened back then!”
With each word from the tiny woman who looked no older than a middle schooler, Tang Siyuk’s complexion grew paler and paler. Sothing definitely happened between them.
“Co on, be honest. You had fun too, didn’t you? Don’t Tang Clan kids ss around with traps and stuff from a young age?”
“There’s a limit! Who the hell disables both my arms’ pressure points and throws into a pit of poison beasts?!”
“Psh. I didn’t know there were that many in there. Besides, you ca out fine. Your poison arts improved, didn’t they? That makes your benefactor. You should be bowing to , not calling a lunatic. Want to kill you?”
Yeah… definitely sothing happened.
Well, the Five Great Houses were known to be especially close-knit, so they probably interacted a lot. Especially the powerhouses: Paeng, Tang, Namgung, and Zhuge Clans often worked together.
‘I think I get why Morong-su pushed things so far.’
The Morong Clan was barely considered one of the Five Great Houses. Sotis the Jinju Yeon Clan or the Hwangbo Clan took that last spot, so their position was always unstable. Maybe they resorted to the Divorce Arts just to maintain that spot.
“Anyway, what’s your na?”
Paeng Soso’s question was directed at .
First impressions were everything in business. I steadied my voice and replied in a calm, unwavering tone.
“Kim Dong-yun.”
“Kim Dong-yun? So, you’re from the East?”
“How did you know?”
“Well, after raiding so many Eastern Immortals’ ruins, you notice a pattern. Most of the nas are Kim, Lee, or Park. The East’s kinda far, though. What about that Taoist over there?”
This ti, she was referring to Yun Yeopja. After hearing his introduction, she nodded.
“Kunlun Taoists can’t get married, right? I knew my instincts were right. Hey, Kim. Marry .”
What the hell is this girl saying?
“Excuse ?”
“You didn’t even flinch when my blade wind ca flying. Everyone else reacted—but not you. That ans you knew it wouldn’t hit you, didn’t you?”
No. I didn’t react because I couldn’t. But it was too late to admit that now, so I just played it cool.
“I’ve got good instincts. I can tell how strong soone is just by looking. That Taoist guy over there, he’s strong. Probably around Transcendent Peak.”
“But you…”
She narrowed her eyes, trying to assess .
“I can’t read you at all. You don’t seem to have any aura. Like, none.”
“I thought only my grandfather could suppress his aura that well. Don’t tell —you’re so ancient immortal who reversed aging?!”
I couldn’t display aura due to my unique constitution. Paeng Soso’s guess made both Tang Siyuk and Yun Yeopja audibly gasp. This misunderstanding was growing wildly out of control.
Reverse aging immortal? I’m barely in my thirties.
“I’m twenty-six, so that’s perfect. A four-year age gap is ideal for compatibility.”
“W-wait a minute!”
At that mont—
While Paeng Soso was going on at her own pace, a man stepped up behind her.
A scholarly-looking man, wearing flashy accessories. Well, flashy attire wasn’t exactly rare in the Martial World, but—
“Who’s that?”
From the way he spoke, he seed like one of the Treasure Hoarders mbers. But soone that distinctive surely would’ve been described in Return of the Murim. I didn’t recall him.
No way soone this imrsed in the novel wouldn’t rember him.
‘Treasure Hoarders isn’t supposed to be active for another three years. Did sothing change in that ti…? Or am I right after all?’
“Sis. This really isn’t the ti, is it?”
“Jo-yang? Why?”
The man, apparently nad Jo-yang, lowered his voice. Not that it mattered in the echoing cave.
“The fact that they made it into this hidden ruin ans they have business here.”
“Oh! Right!”
Tang Siyuk stepped forward confidently.
“Indeed. This esteed brother here is on a mission to retrieve a treasured relic from the East. So, Paeng Soso, step aside.”
“Haah? You brat. You looking to die? Can’t even control your tongue?”
“What?! You think I’m still the sa as back then?!”
“One good slap and you’ll be bawling.”
“Sis, I’m telling you—this isn’t the ti.”
Jo-yang made a subtle hand gesture and mouthed sothing silently to her.
“Alright, alright. Keep your nagging to yourself.”
Paeng Soso slamd her massive saber into the ground. The weapon sunk into the hard floor like tofu, anchoring itself.
She crossed her arms and said,
“There’s a rule in ruin exploration, you know. First co, first serve.”
“But he’s from the East…”
“Are you his spokesperson? Shut it. I don’t care about Eastern affairs. What matters is that this is a ruin—and ruins have their own rules.”
She wasn’t wrong. There was a long tradition of fights over ruins, so an informal set of rules had developed over ti.
“You’ve got your reasons, I’ve got mine. So let’s do this instead.”
She pointed behind her.
“See that formation? It twists people’s senses and perception. One step in, and you lose your sense of direction. Misstep once, and you’ll fall who-knows-where.”
A thick mist—I'd seen it earlier. Within it was a narrow, perilous cliff path.
“We’ve already had Jo-yang disable it.”
Apparently, Jo-yang was a formation expert.
“I tried to blow it away with a blade wind, but that didn’t work. So here’s the deal.”
Paeng Soso smiled brightly.
“Wait here patiently, and when I co back, I’ll give you the relic. In exchange, marry .”
“Why are you so obsessed with marriage?”
“My dream is to have eleven kids and form a soccer team.”
“I know I’m pretty. So stop staring.”
She was as bold as her tone—no, she was insane. And her companions seed to think the sa.
“Sis! That’s not right!”
“You know how hard it was to get past those traps?!”
“Shut it! I did almost all the work! You just followed!”
Paeng Soso turned and shouted at them.
“If you’ve got a problem, fight . Beat , and I’ll listen. That’s how we do things, rember?”
At her words, the Treasure Hoarders mbers all shut up again.
[Is that woman from the Heavenly Demon Cult?]
“She can’t be.”
[For soone from the Martial World, she has a respectable mindset.]
‘Should I marry her if I end up liking her?’
[Do you have a death wish?]
‘Can’t even joke, huh.’
Like hell I’m marrying the heir of the Paeng Clan while living in the body of Sado Hwan, heir of the Heavenly Demon Cult. Even getting involved is dangerous.
Besides, I don’t even belong in this world. I can talk to people and show emotions, but to , this world still feels like an illusion.
“Sir, you’re not seriously considering her crazy proposal, right?!”
Tang Siyuk looked worried. Rightly so.
“There’s no need for that.”
“What?”
“That formation—I can pass through it too.”
‘Right, Skybreaker?’
[It’s possible. I can see through it. There’s an altar inside.]
The formation clouding the ruin disrupted human perception. But Skybreaker wasn’t human. A spiritual presence bound to the sword, it wasn’t affected.
The plan was simple.
I wouldn’t walk—I’d grab Skybreaker and fly through. Skybreaker had enough strength to carry a few people.
“Don’t act all brave now. It’d be a waste if my future husband died.”
“That won’t happen—on either side.”
I calmly walked past Paeng Soso. My eyes briefly t Jo-yang’s. He quickly looked away.
Sinister.
Yeah, eyes that hid their intent were the most dangerous.
Compared to that, the other Treasure Hoarders mbers were…
“Damn, that guy’s ridiculously good-looking.”
“How’s he so pale and still strong?”
“Should we really let him go?”
“If he’s stronger than sis, who’s gonna stop him?”
They mumbled until I made eye contact. Then they all whistled and looked away. A bit dumb, but good-hearted.
‘Was it Jo-yang who changed Paeng Soso? Or… sothing else?’
Anyway, I stood before the misty border.
‘Ready?’
[You be the one to get ready.]
“Always so sweet. Here we go.”
I stepped into the mist.
In that mont—
—!
I felt like my insides twisted. I couldn’t see anything. It wasn’t just that I couldn’t see a step ahead—I couldn’t even see my own body.
My sense of direction shattered. I couldn’t tell up from down, left from right.
[Focus, you fool.]
Skybreaker slipped from its sheath by itself. I clutched its hilt with all my might. I couldn’t even tell if I was holding it right.
[Hold on tight.]
I gripped it with all my strength. Since I couldn’t see anyway, I just closed my eyes. The sound of my clothes fluttering echoed all around .
Then—
[How long are you going to stay like that? Open your eyes.]
I opened them… and realized I was lying on the ground, butt sticking out.
[Don’t use my body for such an undignified posture, fool.]
“Khmm, ahem.”
I stood up quickly. Thank god no one saw that.
I took a breath and looked around.
It wasn’t a narrow cave—it was a massive chamber.
Four enormous statues stood, each holding a weapon: a sword, a saber, a spear, and an axe. Each was about six ters tall—in this world’s terms, around two jang.
At the center of their semicircle stood an altar.
“This doesn’t feel right.”
[What do you an?]
“The statues… don’t they look like they’re about to charge?”
[Indeed. Uncannily lifelike. What masterful carving.]
“I’m not wondering how they were carved. I’m wondering why they were carved that way.”
Just as I hesitated and stepped back—
Click—
I stepped on a section of the floor I’d missed while flying in.
Creak—grind—
Did you see that?
[…I saw it.]
“I think we’re screwed.”
[Crude—but accurate.]
The statues all turned their heads at once. Blue ghost fire flared in their eyes.
Their gaze locked onto .
“Damn cliché.”
Their weapons ca rushing at .
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