I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality Chapter 342 - 185: Funeral Pre-Sale, Widow at the Door

Eunuch Lou passed away peacefully.

The street, only a mile from the city gate, bore a trench nearly ten feet long.

The soldiers sheltering from the rain in the city gate archway heard the noise and were just about to venture out in the rain to investigate when they saw a procession of papern carrying a rain-drenched coffin, scattering paper money, erging from the rain curtain.

The stark white lightning flashed across the sky, accentuating the eerie atmosphere of the papern.

The soldiers guarding the city gate instinctively retracted the foot they had just stepped forward, pretending they hadn’t seen anything.

Once the papern put the body into the coffin, only a still-burning, red-hot axe was left stuck in the ground, sizzling and smoking.

The burning wooden handle of the axe, once wet by the rain, turned charcoal black.

The papern’s procession walked along the sides of the trench, and the coffin carried on thirty-two poles crossed over it, marching mightily toward the city gate.

The scattering of paper money and the waterproof white paper lanterns were conspicuous in the dreary weather, resembling ghostly flas sprouting from tombs, chilling and eerie.

The soldiers at the city gate, along with so citizens sheltering from the rain, all huddled in corners, shivering with fear.

The tall, slender papern passed through the city gate archway, bringing with them gusts of cold wind along with a strange scent of incense.

By the ti everyone ca back to their senses, the funeral procession of papern had already left the city gate, their destination unknown.

When the rain cleared and the sky brightened, Wanshou County returned to its usual state, as if everything that had just happened was a re illusion.

...

At the Funeral Shop, the Wang family’s younger sister was enjoying free funeral hall rental services, keeping vigil for the old lady in the shop,

while next door in the morgue, Xu Qing was reading about the rise to power of a young eunuch.

"In this world, nothing tastes better than stead buns, except for white wheat buns; nothing else compares!"

"Once I’m in the palace, I’ll have endless buns to eat."

"Are you the new cook in the imperial kitchen? The buns you stead don’t taste right."

"You say there’s nothing wrong, so why can’t I taste them the way I used to?"

"That cook! Noble Consort Hui ate your dish, and the child in her belly was lost. It was a dragon seed, and a male at that! A lost life, what cri do you think you deserve?"

"I understand now, what I’ve loved all my life is not buns, but money, silver, and rooms full of gold and jade!"

"Master Liao, if you don’t mind, Little Wuzi is willing to take care of you in your old age."

"Godfather, I heard His Majesty wants to spare no effort in promoting Wanshou County. I want to contribute to His Majesty’s cause..."

Eunuch Lou’s life was full of the stink of copper, with only a few humble aspirations when he first entered the palace.

After Xu Qing finished watching the life review, he didn’t know what to think. Why would a eunuch with no children amass so much wealth?

Shaking his head, Xu Qing looked at the reward from the Sutra of Salvation, a top-grade human evaluation, rewarding him with a Bone-lting Palm Technique and a Bone-Eroding Sword Technique.

Both techniques are martial arts secrets. The Bone-lting Palm Technique can break bones, muscles, and tendons through the skin, while the surface remains undamaged.

The Bone-Eroding Sword Technique, on the other hand, specializes in flesh-peeling techniques. Paired with Sword Formulas, one can quickly unleash thousands of sword shadows, stripping flesh and leaving only a stark white skeleton.

At first, Xu Qing wondered why this eunuch, who knew such swordsmanship, didn’t use it during the siege on the tower?

But when he rembered that the Fierce General itself was a congloration of bare bones, he couldn’t help but chuckle.

No wonder the eunuch only used the Bone-lting Palm Technique, because his skinning trump card was useless.

"Bone-lting Palm Technique, the na is interesting. I wonder what effect it would have on the Undying Bone..."

Xu Qing pondered idly. Ultimately, this technique’s na countered his own, but if it were really used on him, it might feel more like a tickle.

But such things depend on the person. In the hands of soone with cultivation, the potential is hard to predict!

...

During the days that the Wang family’s younger sister borrowed the Funeral Shop for the vigil, Xu Qing gained quite a bit of insight.

For those widows and bachelors with no parents, no children, even if they prepare burial materials in advance, it doesn’t guarantee anyone will help with their posthumous arrangents.

Even if kind-hearted neighbors lend a hand, who can guarantee they will discover these people’s bodies in a tily manner?

Often, when discovered, it’s because they’ve passed by the door and noticed the sll, triggering a response.

Xu Qing thought this was not good.

As the leading figure in Jin Sect’s funeral industry, he felt he needed to solve this problem.

At the very least, one shouldn’t die abandoned at ho, with no one to bury them, right?

So, Xu Qing quickly got to work, taking out his pen to rewrite a notice.

"It is well known: life is transient, and death is a return, a truth shared by sages. To be prudent and pay respect to the departed, filial piety is paramount. This shop, following ancient teachings and acting with benevolence, specially opens its doors for the widowed, orphaned, and solitary to relieve their lifelong worries.

If one prearranges a posthumous contract and sets lifelong rites early, they can avoid the worry of unprepared haste.

For those who set agreents, our hall will keep records, visit during new moons and holidays, and provide rice and flour. Though there be no descendants to care, there will be companionship through hardship.

Now, three great promises are established:

First, pre-purchasing burial materials, selecting auspicious lands at half market price.

Second, regular inspections to ensure needs are t, free of charge, as a gesture of human concern.

Third, complete rites on one’s deathbed, conducted according to ancient norms, ensuring that all burial clothing and shroud et proper standards.

Any interested widows and orphans may join our mbership entry, holding a mbership token, ensuring that, even without heirs, one will not be lonely after death.

Our word is as firm as the token, our promise as steadfast as a mountain, honoring commitnts like iron. We boldly tell the ten directions: supporting the poor and weak, combining affordability with quality. Those who purchase tokens today will also receive an anniversary oblation and a ten-point ritual."