Chapter 751 - Side Story 24: The Process of Consolation (2)
The banquet hall welcoming Rudger continued late into the night with a pleasant atmosphere. The sight of several people sitting around a table chatting over splendid and delicious food was sothing unfamiliar to Rudger.
If he had to compare it, he'd say it was like sothing from an old fairy tale. The illustrations of families gathering together on Christmas to spend a joyful holiday season were exactly like this.
Rudger had never thought he would find himself in a similar situation. If anything, he had only thought of himself as an uninvited guest watching such a harmonious family from outside a glass window.
Inside was a fireplace, a Christmas tree, delicious dishes, and gift boxes in abundance. And there dwelt human happiness, laughter, and warm love.
But outside was different. It was desolate and extrely harsh. In the skin-biting cold, falling snow piled upon forlorn shoulders.
A cruel world where no one reached out a helping hand. Rudger thought this was the path he had walked, and perhaps the path he would continue to walk.
Perhaps that's why the current situation didn't feel quite real to him.
Facing them in conversation, responding to it, eating delicious food, all of it felt like a dream.
'How ironic. To face reality in dreams, yet look at reality and think it's a dream.'
People always pursue happiness. They wish for greater fun and joy than each mont brings.
A better life than now. A better tomorrow. It was the most basic desire humans possess.
Both materially and emotionally, people seeking greater abundance was such an obvious thing that asking about it was tireso.
But ironically, when the happiness people desperately wished for is actually given to them, they first doubt it. Especially the longer the period they've lived harshly, the stronger this tendency.
People who have always lived with difficulty have no choice but to adapt to that life. Now, misfortune coming to them has beco the expected course of events.
Therefore, they doubt and reject the happiness that suddenly arrives. Believing such a thing couldn't possibly co to them, while simultaneously craving happiness.
Hoping for illusions to beco real, yet treating the real thing that arrives as an illusion was truly contradictory. And that was human nature.
'This is the sight I wished for. Reality that has actually co true, not a dream.'
Even as he repeated this to himself, the anxiety remaining in one corner of his heart persisted.
Rudger quietly contemplated his inner self.
There was a boy there. That boy looked exactly like his childhood self. Hostile toward the world, full of suspicion, and exhausted by life.
The boy said nothing. He simply stood still, only gazing at Rudger.
But many emotions dwelt in that piercing stare. Those eyes were asking.
Are you allowed to be this happy?
Perhaps it wasn't a simple question. Maybe it was rather an accusation. Rudger couldn't answer the boy's question.
He could only, as if possessed by sothing, quietly et those eyes.
Another self dwelling within. The na of the boy who was the embodint of that anxiety was Heathcliff.
"Teacher?"
Rudger ca to his senses at the voice calling him. When he turned his head, Sedina was looking up at him with a puzzled expression.
He looked around. It wasn't the modest banquet hall, but the balcony of the room where he would stay for the day. There, Rudger stood quietly, feeling the cool night breeze.
Right. The banquet had ended. Now he was alone with Sedina.
"Are you alright?"
"What do you an?"
"Just...earlier during the al too, how should I put it...you seed distracted sohow."
Though he hadn't particularly shown it, Sedina seed to have felt that way.
"It's nothing. Just... this kind of situation is a first for , so I couldn't adapt."
"You're not uncomfortable or anything, are you?"
"Not at all. Rather, it was an overly generous welco for . I can only feel grateful."
Rudger looked down beyond the balcony. The view of the capital was captured at a glance below the tall spire.
Lights lit here and there illuminated the city, creating a dreamlike atmosphere. Looking at the World Tree, countless fireflies gathered around, scattering beautiful light.
It was like seeing the Milky Way descended to earth.
"You're really alright, right?"
Rudger was about to say yes, but the mont he saw Sedina's eyes, his words were blocked because in Sedina's unwavering gaze looking at him, there dwelt nothing but concern.
After organizing his thoughts for a mont, Rudger slowly opened his mouth.
"Perhaps, there might be a little."
Confiding his worries to soone like this was a first. Sedina quietly waited for what Rudger would say.
"The world has beco peaceful. And everyone I knew has beco happy. Of course, it's ridiculous for to arbitrarily asure their happiness, but at least to , they all look very happy."
Rudger stroked the balcony railing with his hand. The rough and sturdy texture of the railing made from the World Tree was intensely felt at his fingertips. It was an unfamiliar sensation he hadn't felt in the past three years.
"And eting with them, sharing happiness with each other, I had this thought. Am I really allowed to be like this?"
People wish for happiness. That was true for Rudger as well. But the mont he faced the happiness that had arrived, it felt like soone was shouting from behind.
Do you have the right to do so?
The path Rudger had walked. Everything he had done. Even if it wasn't evil deeds, conversely, it wasn't righteous either.
Even if that final goal had brought freedom to this world, more people saw him as a monster rather than a savior.
Rudger didn't deny it. Even though most of his targets were villains, he was soone who had committed murder.
But what touched his heart most of all was the existence of Heathcliff dwelling within.
His fellow companions said they were saved by him, and Rudger himself thought he had received his own salvation by achieving his goal.
But there was also soone who wasn't chosen in such a world. Heathcliff was such a person.
That child who, far from salvation, would be rembered eternally as a demon lord.
In the world, the demon lord Heathcliff had died, but in reality, that wasn't true. Heathcliff was still alive. And he remained like a thorn, rooted deep in that heart.
Now, whenever he tried to find peace and happiness, the thorn reminded him of pain. Don't forget what you did. You don't have the right.
"Perhaps my traveling around like this to et people is nothing more than an act of escape. A basic act of trying to feel other people's happiness vicariously because I can't find happiness myself."
While hoping for their warmth to dwell in him, when he actually felt the warmth, he unknowingly flinched.
Rudger let out a self-deprecating laugh.
"Isn't it funny? A full-grown adult worrying about sothing like this."
"Teacher."
Sedina spoke in a determined voice, as if she had decided sothing.
"Would you sit here?"
Sedina pointed to a chair placed on the balcony. Rudger didn't ask why. Because Sedina's expression looked so determined, he quietly sat in the chair as she instructed.
Sedina stood opposite Rudger who was sitting in the chair. In that position, she took several deep breaths and agonized, then grabbed Rudger's head and hugged it into her embrace.
Rudger's eyes widened. He was about to ask what she was suddenly doing, but before that, Sedina spoke first.
"Just, please don't say anything and stay still."
"......"
Rudger's pupils slowly returned to normal. He remained still with his strength relaxed as Sedina had said.
Sedina's warmth touched his skin. What could be heard on the quiet balcony was Sedina's nearby breathing and the pulsing sound of her beating heart.
The sound of Sedina's pounding heart strangely cald his mind.
Just for this mont, he couldn't feel Heathcliff's gaze looking at Rudger. Rudger slowly closed his eyes and quietly savored that warmth and sound.
When was it? He felt as if a mory from a very distant ti had surfaced. When a newborn baby was placed in a warm cradle.
Of course, the mory from that ti was hazy. He wasn't even certain if what he was recalling now was truly a mory.
But one thing was certain. Right now, he had gained more definite consolation than a hundred words.
How long did that embrace continue? Sedina slowly pushed away Rudger's face.
Rudger quietly raised his head and looked up at Sedina. Sedina's face was red enough to be clearly distinguished even in the dark night.
"I, I'm going to go to bed now."
Sedina left only those words and fled from the spot as if running away. Left alone, Rudger stared blankly beyond the balcony.
A smile had ford on his lips without him knowing.
"Thank you for the hospitality. I'll be going now."
The next morning Rudger bid farewell to Sedina, Ambella, Ella, and Vierano.
"You should stay a little longer. It's not common for a human to receive the hospitality of the elf kingdom, you know?"
Ambella voiced her regret instead. For Ambella, Rudger was a comrade-in-arms who had gone through difficult battles together. As such, Ambella felt regretful that she couldn't do more for Rudger.
"No. I've received enough. Any more would actually be burdenso on my part."
"Well, if you put it that way, it can't be helped. Since you're leaving today, it's not like this will be our last eting."
"Right. If we get the chance later, let's et again."
Rudger bid farewell to everyone like that.
Finally, his gaze lingered long on Sedina, but Sedina couldn't properly et Rudger's eyes, perhaps because of last night's incident.
"Sedina. I'll see you next ti."
Rudger summoned Aether Nocturnus. As the shadow swallowed Rudger's body and was about to disappear into thin air, Sedina answered.
"Yes. Let's definitely et next ti."
What Sedina last saw in Rudger's gradually disappearing form was the smile he wore.
After Rudger completely disappeared, her mother Ella approached and asked Sedina playfully.
"What's this? Our daughter, did sothing happen between you two yesterday?"
"I-it's not like that."
"As if. Just looking at your reddened face, it seems like sothing happened."
"Hmm. I see it too. Moreover, the way you couldn't properly et his eyes just now, did you perhaps make so mistake?"
When Ambella also stepped forward to ask, Sedina looked at Vierano with a flustered gaze, requesting help.
"Ahem. I'm sorry. I'm also a bit curious about that story."
Vierano had no choice but to turn away from the gaze seeking help. Even for him, he couldn't help but be interested in the young people's innocent love story.
Sedina felt a great sense of betrayal when even Vierano didn't step forward.
"A-anyway, it's not like that!"
Sedina, her face red as a tomato, shrieked.
The place where Rudger, having left the elven forest, erged through space was atop a coastal cliff where strong winds blew.
The sky was full of dark gray clouds, and the intense wind blowing from the sea brought the scent of salt.
With a splashing sound, huge waves crashing against the cliff disappeared with foam. It was a place where one could see the wonder of nature at a glance.
The Fiyolod coastline in the northwest of the continent, far from the Elven Forest was the presud location of the next person he would et.
"Hmm."
After taking in the beautiful scenery for a mont, Rudger slowly placed his hand on the ground.
When he flowed magic power through his palm, a voice responding to his call was heard from deep in the earth. That enormous sound was a resonance that could only be made by an existence standing at the pinnacle of nature.
"I need to ask for so help. I'm looking for soone."
The elental lord deep in the earth readily accepted Rudger's request. If the earth's elental lord put his mind to it, it was safe to say that no existence on this land could escape his eyes.
-Ruuumble.
An answer imdiately returned from the earth's elental lord. It ant he had found the one Rudger wanted.
"I thought it would take quite a while if they were out at sea, but I'm lucky."
When he asked where they were, an answer returned as if waiting.
At first, it was about 5km away from here.
But the answer that imdiately returned was different. The distance that had been around 5km narrowed to 4km.
Rudger asked if that was really true. The earth's elental lord answered.
'Now 3km.'
Even at this very mont, the distance was narrowing and at a terrifyingly fast speed beyond imagination.
A deep smile ford on Rudger's lips.
"Right. Not the kind of personality to have a peaceful conversation."
Remaining distance, 1km. Rudger imdiately drew up his magic power. If he let his guard down thinking there was still enough distance, the one who would be hit first would be him.
"Now then, shall I loosen up my body after a long ti?"
Soon after, an explosion echoed from deep in the forest adjacent to the coastal cliff. And one beastman with a huge build descended toward Rudger, moving as if flying through the air.
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