It was late. President Smith was alone in the Oval Office, except for CIA Director McNally sitting quietly in a chair across the room. The alien communications device had been delivered in advance, along with a warning that very sensitive matters would be discussed. At the appointed ti, the communicator activated, and a hologram appeared of the "giant hamster from space", as Smith privately thought of him.
"Captain Telnik, thank you for returning my call."
"Of course. I have a few things to discuss with you."
Smith kept his expression smooth. "I am interested to hear you out. However, I have significant matters to discuss first."
"Such as?"
Smith suspected that Telnik would value bluntness. "Such as whether there exists a state of war between the Visitors and the people of Planet Earth."
"War? Surely not. If we wanted war, it would be over already." A pointed reminder of where the military power lay. Smith was used to carrying the biggest stick in that regard, and it was irritating not to be the dominant force around for once.
"You have been assassinating humans all over the world," Smith accused.
"Yes." Telnik was not even trying to deny it.
"That is generally considered impolite between nations."
"So is slavery." Not giving an inch, Smith noted.
"Perhaps an arrangent can be made concerning when and to whom you would be allowed to do this?"
"Allowed?" Telnik sounded amused.
"Yes. Allowed. Civilization is built upon agreents, Captain Telnik."
"I quite agree. I don't consider slavery to be civilized behavior. Neither does the rest of the galaxy." He's insinuating that we don't even deserve the right to negotiate.
"I share the sentint, but the world is complex and I face many challenges. Tradeoffs must be made."
"Tradeoffs involving the lives of others?"
"Captain Telnik, I doubt that even in galactic society those who lead have clean hands. There are always unpleasant decisions to make, ones with no good choices, only less bad ones. I was elected to make those choices, however odious I may personally find them."
"Well, then, you should be happy to be offered better choices."
"I am interested to hear them."
"First, I suggest that you 'turn the other cheek' to these incidents."
"You want us to simply accept abuse?"
Telnik's expression shifted. "A mont, Mr. President...I apologize for using the wrong taphor. I ant 'turn a blind eye.'"
"That's slightly better, but what recompense do you offer?"
"If the gifts we are already showering upon you are not enough, we have more, but not for this."
Smith steepled his fingers. "Captain Telnik, you are alien to us, and more communication is generally preferable to less. So, I ask you this: what are your goals concerning Earth?"
Telnik smiled. "Good. I was wondering when you were going to ask." The giant hamster-like alien leaned back. "I am a rcenary, Mr. President. I work for my employer, Nick Tomsun. He has given my orders, and has left it to how to carry them out."
Smith straightened. "And those orders are?"
"I am to promote Truth, Justice, and Freedom for all the people of Earth."
Smith felt his eyebrows rise despite himself. "Then I envy you your mandate, Captain Telnik. I certainly do not object to those goals per se. However, I am not an absolute ruler, even in my own country, let alone the rest of the world. There are opposing forces that I must deal with."
"Just so. I have what you might call a predictive model of your society. With it, I have identified the actions with the greatest impact—I believe your taphor is 'bang for the buck'?"
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"And executing slavers will have the greatest impact?" Smith asked skeptically.
"Oh, no. This is simply the opening act, as you say."
Smith carefully maintained a calm expression. "Is it?"
"Yes. I have chosen to begin with the actions that are both beneficial and the least disruptive to your society. Obviously, in the sixty-three days remaining in my contract, I do not have ti to kill every slaver on your planet. Before I leave, I will be employing more...efficient thods."
"Do these efforts involve the killing of innocent civilians?"
"Far fewer than your own actions, Mr. President."
Ouch. "May I know these plans, so that I may work to minimize the harm to my people?"
"That would be an interesting test of your character, wouldn't it?"
"It would. I am not ashad of my intentions."
Telnik smiled again. "Cleverly phrased, Mr. President. It is possible that we can work together. The United States is clearly less influential and powerful than it was, but you are still one of the major players on your world."
"What did you have in mind?"
"I believe your expression is to 'put your own house in order first.' To that end, there will be an important piece of legislation presented to your Congress very soon. I understand that your agreent to it will speed up the ratification significantly."
Smith's mind raced. Assassinating humans all over the world, and now ddling in our governnt? What next? What is he up to? "What is this legislation?"
"I am sending it to you now. There is a precis of the key points as well."
Smith saw how to access the file and opened the precis. The title of the legislation was The Great Reform Act of 202X. Smith skimd the summary quickly, and his eyes widened. "This is...extrely radical."
"Hardly, Mr. President. In fact, it is very conservative. It rely holds you to your own professed standards."
"How in the world do you intend to get this through Congress? Even the ones who would want to vote for it won't be able to."
"With carrots and a stick, of course. The carrots include wealth, personalized dical treatnt, and other such gifts. The stick...well, I have recently acquired a great deal of very interesting reading, listening, and viewing material, which I may or may not share with the general public."
"A large fraction of the population will not stand for this, even with that."
"I know, but it won't be as large a fraction as you might think. I am aware of the pressure points."
"You an the billionaires."
"Specific ones, yes. But do not worry. Models predict that only a very few are actually so implacably opposed to truth, justice and freedom that they need to be removed. The rest will be persuaded, or at least will be smart enough to cooperate with the inevitable."
"I cannot cooperate with the murder of very powerful people, no matter my personal opinions."
"I was not asking for your cooperation in the deed, Mr. President. Nor am I seeking your permission. I am informing you, as a courtesy. Warning them will not save them. The most you could accomplish would be to increase the...what is your expression...ah yes, 'collateral damage.'"
Smith felt himself aging by the minute. "I...will need to examine this legislature in detail. No matter what you offer or threaten, I cannot sign legislation that I truly believe would be harmful to Arica."
"I would expect nothing less. But the legislation is exactly what it seems—reform. Your governnt will soon reflect the will of the people much more closely than before."
"The people whose will it currently reflects will not take this lying down."
"Of course not. But they will lose. I can advise on how to minimize the strife, but I have no interest in directly ruling over humans. I am rely...'righting the ship,' as you say, and will soon 'leave you to your own devices.' Given your technological level, perhaps you should consider as you would a powerful natural disaster. Your role is not to prevent, but to mitigate the damage."
Captain Telnik made an odd snuffling sound. "I must say, your language is particularly rich in taphors and idioms. This has been a pleasant conversation for . I sympathize if it was less so for you. Please keep this device safe, and I will be happy to speak with you again three days from now, before I depart on the next star survey. ssage with a convenient ti and I will contact you. I am certain that we will have a lot more to discuss. For now, good night, Mr. President."
The transmission ended. For a long mont, Daniel Smith simply stared at the device on his desk. When he reached out to turn it off, he found his hand was shaking. He's going to kill Paul. And Werhner, for sure. Neither of them would ever agree to this. Possibly Frank as well. How can I warn them? How can I not? Is there any way I could reason with them, save their lives?
"Mr. President?"
Daniel Smith collected himself. "I have never felt so old," he muttered.
"What do you want to do?"
"What I want is for that damned Space Hamster to be right, and for this reform act to pass. But it's a fantasy. It won't go as easily as he thinks it will. I'm likely to get assassinated if I back it."
"I notice that he didn't bribe or threaten you personally."
"He knows I love my country. He doesn't have to threaten ." Smith sighed. "Do you see any way to save Paul's life?"
A pause. "No, Mr. President. Their technology is so far in advance of ours, that even if he dove into a hole and pulled the hole in after him, they'll find him and kill him, and we can't do a damned thing to prevent it."
"Collateral damage," Smith whispered. "I wonder, will he bother to hide his involvent in the executions? Will he make it look like an accident?"
"Probably enough to instill so doubt. If he makes an announcent about it after he does the deed, that would an he doesn't care about public opinion, but it seems that he does."
"Do you think he knows what he's doing?"
"Hard to say. He's confident. It's easy to mistake these aliens for gods, but they make mistakes. A pack of Ooafans and Nick Tomsun managed to take over a starship two centuries ahead in technology, so we know that they can get overconfident. But...my gut says that he does know what he's doing."
"I'm going to cancel on the California ceremony. Possibly the trip to Japan as well. I think I'm going to need to be close to ho for a while."
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