"………."
I couldn't seem to calm myself down. My mind just kept replaying the situation from right before and wasn't letting it go.
"…….I'll die. I'll just die right here."
Of course, the people here wouldn't know who I am, but the fact that I had done such a thing was a huge scratch to my pride.
"Diiiiiie…………..Air, stop………….please."
I wanted to beco a handful of dust that was gently sprinkled onto a river. Then, I wanted to be eaten by fish, then caught by a fisherman, then food on soone's table and then beco fertilizer for the earth. That would probably be a lot more useful than what I did just now.
He said to grab others' attention, so my mind went to my past life when I had a part-ti job as an event employee and danced to gain others' attention. I jumped onto stage because it was an ergency. In my last life, this was okay because I was wearing a character costu while dancing. But this was different. My face was completely exposed.
Moreover, this was sothing that I chose to do so it was more embarrassing. Oh, man. Oh man. I'm ruined. Why did I do that? Why was this the only thing that I could think of?
I squird in the face of the consequences of my actions. I looked down and squatted down, then looked up at the ceiling as all of my strength left my body.
When I looked in front of , Yves was standing right there. He stared at with unreadable silver eyes.
"Let's go."
He said just those two words and turned around. I couldn't see even a bit of the shocked expression he had before on his face.
Looking at Yves, it seed that he had accomplished what he wanted. Seriously, if he didn't pay generously for this I wasn't going to let him be. I needed ntal, physical compensation for this. Of course, this was all my doing but it was still because of him. I decided to just argue that point.
Yves, who had walked away from without even turning, stood and watched from a distance. It seed like I should slowly get ready to head out.
I checked the tables where the target was, and saw that they were already gone. People still kept looking my way ever so often. I grit my teeth as I tried to ignore their gazes.
When I tried to add so strength to my legs to stand up, sothing weird happened. I couldn't stand up fully and fell on the floor when I got halfway up. Yves saw that sothing was wrong and ca back to where I was sitting.
My legs were cramping up. I must have been too nervous: my legs wouldn't work. I tried to stand up as hard as I could and held onto the wall to get up. My legs shook, but I was able to take a step with my weight mostly on the wall.
Yves sent a look asking what I was doing. Then, he shot a look full of pity and grabbed my arm.
"Lean."
Yves held up as I shook. Then, it looked like he was uncomfortable and just put on his back. I disagreed at first, but even I thought that it would be easier for to be on his back so I let it be.
In the end, I was on Yves' back the whole trip even though my legs were fine. Not even joking, but this was the first ti in both my first and current lives, in thirty years, that I had physical contact like this with a man who wasn't part of my family. I was extrely uncomfortable. I floundered on his back after a mont.
"Let down."
I threw a small tantrum demanding to walk on my own, so he put down. But as soon as I got down, I tripped on the spot. My legs still couldn't seem to work.
And now, I even sprained my ankle. It felt like I had landed on it wrong when I fell before. Yves looked at with a look that sarcastically said, 'Good job' to .
When I fell, Yves wordlessly helped back up and put back on his back with an annoyed expression. I would've been embarrassed on a normal day, but the dancing before was too powerful to make embarrassed about this right now.
'Haaaah, I'm really ruining my image in a lot of ways today.'
I just stared blankly at the slum streets as I sat on his back. We were definitely going to bump into the won from earlier, so I did have to stay on his back anyway.
I tried my hardest to physically avoid touching any more of Yves than necessary, but soon gave up and completely leaned on him. Yves, who was wordlessly carrying and walking, felt comfortable. Maybe it was because his back was warm, but my body slowly relaxed and it felt like I was going to fall asleep. But who did I think I was? I wasn't going to sleep.
Like how after running track, you run as fast as you can and pass out, my body was basically the sa. My ntal and physical capabilities were done.
Yves' back felt so comfortable it was almost suspicious that my exhaustion suddenly dissipated.
Smirk.
It was because Yves, who was completely quiet until now, had a smile on his face without reason. It wasn't difficult for to figure out that he was smiling because of . But it was just conjecture and I couldn't be completely sure. My eyes blinked wide open and I paid special attention to his sudden action.
"Man, I'm in trouble."
"………."
Yves muttered quietly. But I was right behind him and I could hear his voice clearly. When I asked him what he kept thinking about in a cold tone, he just casually said that it was nothing.
He went back to staying silent for a bit longer. He had a cold expression on his face, as if asking when he had ever smiled in his life. So I thought he wouldn't smile again. But,
Smirk.
Yves raised one corner of his mouth and laughed lightly. I could hear a bit of derision coming from it. Well, that's what I felt. It wasn't a cri to laugh but I frowned as I felt sha and embarrassnt crawling back into my mind.
Then, I checked my hands and saw that my hands were red. It wasn't just my face, but my entire body that was blushing.
Yves seed to realize that I flinched at his laugh and just smirked. When Yves smiled, he didn't just smile. It looked like he was laughing at you.
Yves' occasional laughter continued even after we had left the slums. Damn it. My head hurt.
I stopped being embarrassed by his laugh and just stared at the sky above .
Once we were done with our work for the day, it was slightly late in the afternoon. The sky was dark, but the red from the sun wasn't all gone yet. Sumr was slowly passing onto autumn, so the evening breeze felt cool.
The cool breeze slowly cooled down my sweat. The wind swept my bangs away to the side. I could feel my hair becoming more and more ssy, but I didn't really care.
I could hear the townspeople laughing, adding background noise to my thoughts. The sound of laughter and rchants selling their wares filled the air.
Because it was slowly growing later, bars and entertainnt stores were slowly opening for their evening guests. The sll of food wafted through the air too. My mood grew lighter as I felt more relaxed.
I almost found myself beginning to hum a lody with the cool breeze, but blocked my mouth before it could co out. I had almost released the demon called 'song'. I couldn't show Yves any more embarrassing parts of myself.
I'd lost my ntal sensibilities once, and now I was about to lose it permanently. Whose back was I on to lose my senses like this?
"Do you like chicken skewers?"
Yves stared at a chicken skewer stall next to us and asked. I tensed as he began to speak. What did he an, did I like chicken skewers? What kind of ploy was this? When I didn't respond, he turned his head to look at . At his sudden stare, I just blurted out a response.
"Yes, well……."
When I replied positively, Yves bought two skewers from the stall. I thought he was going to give one and eat the other, but he gave both of them to . I found Yves, who gave both of the skewers, suspicious. He definitely wasn't the kind of person to do this, so why was he giving food like this? Did he drug it?
"Why all of a sudden?"
When I asked, Yves responded.
"I could hear a gurgle."
"It was probably you."
Instead of a response, Yves just smirked at .
…….damn it. Ah, goddamn it.
It was so quiet that even I couldn't hear it, but it was obvious that he had heard the sound from my stomach when I was basically stuck on his back. As he had said, I had only eaten a single piece of a sandwich so I really was hungry.
Because Yves didn't eat a lot, I had followed.
But seriously, nothing was going right today. At this point, I didn't have anything to be embarrassed by in front of him. He knew everything shaful about except for my godforsaken singing skills.
I stayed on his back, holding a chicken skewer in each hand, and thought. But why was he giving both of them? Was he seriously telling to eat both of them?
I stared at Yves and realized. He was holding with both hands so he didn't have a hand to eat with. Then what, did he want to feed him?
I frowned, then put a chicken skewer near his mouth. But Yves didn't eat it.
"I gave both for you to eat."
I tilted my head in confusion at his unexpected response.
"Why?"
"It looked like you needed to eat both to fill your stomach."
Just to add on, this particular stall had a really big portion size. They added a ton of at and vegetables so just one was enough to be a single al. So, he was basically telling that I looked like I ate a lot.
I had thought that I was skinny, but did I gain weight recently……?
Well, I was ugly to begin with so adding a layer of fat wouldn't change too much, would it…..? I wanted to eat both, but I didn't want to get uglier.
I was feeling slightly down until Yves continued to speak.
"You're at the age where you're growing a lot. Eat a lot when you can."
I didn't know what else to say.
He wasn't saying this to mock . Of course, seeing the smirk on his lips showed that he was slightly mocking . But I wondered if I had too much of a negative opinion about Yves.
But thinking back, Yves, who was telling to eat both skewers, didn't eat anything at all that day. If this was about growing, he had to care more.
I pointed the skewer near his mouth again.
"You starved all day. I ate that sandwich earlier."
"I don't……"
"Eat it."
When I spoke threateningly, Yves seemingly gave up and ate a bit of the vegetables on the skewer. Then, he said that he was done. I was floored.
Thinking back, Yves only drank milk yesterday and didn't eat anything else. Today, he had only drank water and didn't eat anything.
Speaking of, whenever we were together he only ate a weird powder dicine and didn't eat anything else. Seeing powder dicine made think of drugs, but that wasn't it. It just looked like dicine he was taking.
When I prodded him to eat more, Yves didn't even respond now. I gave up and started eat both of the skewers, one skewer in each hand. I wasn't going to ask soone who didn't want to eat to eat more.
"Don't spill sauce on my back."
Yves said, stopping to speak as if nervous. I told him that I would try not to spill, and if I did that I would spell it away.
As if satisfied, Yves wordlessly continued walking.
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