I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo Chapter 156

Han Ye-an started to treat like her younger brother from so point in ti, but I didn't accept her. I didn't accept anybody, to be honest.

I had been too wild since I was a child.

'Teacher~ Se-yoo is bullying the other kids again.'

'Teacher! Se-yoo is fighting again!'

My personality was a bit more aggressive and different compared to other kids. I was strangely attracted to fighting and always walked along the streets picking on others. I acted polite and nice in front of people I wanted to look good in front of like my mom, but I acted like a hellion towards other family mbers or other people.

So I was known as a problem child, and everyone seed sick of my interest in violence.

There were tis when even my mom gave up on and clicked her tongue, but Han Ye-an didn't let it go.

'I'm going to send everything and get you suspended from school. Stop it. Don't do anything to ruin your own future.'

Han Ye-an threatened with my weak points to try and get to behave. When threats didn't seem to work, she ca to school and made a big deal out of it in front of others, embarrassing . So whenever I tried to behave every once in a while, she showered with so much praise that it was almost overwhelming.

She played an even more active role in my life than myself. She trusted in where even my own mother couldn't, and tried to understand and trust where she could. When I ca back ho injured, she supported wholeheartedly even without hearing the entire story.

Regardless of how factual it was, Han Ye-an treated more like her younger brother than a problem child, so she tried to understand things that I couldn't even think of. Was that what changed ? I realized that I had to fold and give up so things in life to get by without causing problems. I started to look at life with a more healthier outlook.

Han Ye-an probably only saw as I raged against the world, but she only seed to see the good parts of . I didn't know how to feel when she, soone who had only been aggressive and spiteful towards , suddenly treated as one of her own. I was elated for so reason. It was nice to get that kind of affection from soone who only ignored previously. Han Ye-an accepted more and more as ti passed, so I was happy when our family suddenly had tragedy strike. I liked being on the receiving end of her free, unwavering attention.

Even though she accepted as one of her own, she didn't demand the sa of . She just showed continued interest in myself and waited patiently. And that was how I let soone else into my heart, alongside my mother.

When our finances beca rough, Han Ye-an always fixed things around the house. Electronic devices took at least ten thousand won* or more, so she always tried to repair things as much as she could. Personally, the only class I had an average of 70% or higher was in math, so the two of us always wracked our heads and tried our best to repair things together.

I wanted to beco a pillar of strength for Han Ye-an, so I studied as hard as I could and researched as much as I could. Then, when Han Ye-an seed to see with a renewed gaze at my successful repairs, I decided to shift my future goals to math and science altogether. I liked achieving sothing after working with Han Ye-an, so I studied and tried my best to be able to teach her more. To be honest, if it wasn't for her then I would've gone into health or physical training as my future occupation. Taekwondo or kendo, sothing like that.

Our lives were smooth coasting until our parents passed. Our lives began to slowly shatter, little by little. Han Ye-an also began to shatter, little by little. We were running a marathon as if it was a sprint. Our lungs were burning, slowly getting ready to combust as we ran without knowing when we could rest.

I'm sorry to our parents, but I was more sad about the fact that Han Ye-an had to let herself go than the fact that they had passed. Even walking looked overwhelming for Han Ye-an after their deaths. I was angry at how she tried to take responsibility for even as she beca wrecked, so I left ho often. I hated seeing Semi or Yehwan pester Han Ye-an around the house. I left ho and went back to fighting and road the streets.

I was too young. I still regret it. I was stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I knew what she wanted and what she needed, but I avoided it. I had realized everything too late. I thought that if I wasn't in her sight, then she wouldn't care about . I was foolish.

I didn't think of sharing her burdens and instead burdened her more. I only realized that I was slowly eating away at her towards the end.

I only tried to run away. I think I ran away from everything because I wasn't used to our family being forcefully tied together. I only finally accepted her after she hid her suffering behind her liveliness. I finally began trying my best and accepted her as family only towards the end. I started to care for Semi and Yehwan, the others she took in as her own, and thought of them as my own. I wanted to take on so of the responsibility that she had.

And then, just when I felt like I was finally paying off my debts towards her,

Han Ye-an returned in front of as a corpse.

I was shaken from my roots. I felt numb. I think I stopped breathing then, too. My ears felt stuffed and I felt like soone had stabbed my body open from the inside.

I almost made another stupid mistake because of the sadness I felt after losing her. Thankfully, I read the letter that Han Ye-an had left behind before I had lost it again, and then I tried my best to protect the things that she had tried to protect while stretching myself thin.

I think I was the most active right after Han Ye-an died, and I had to take responsibility for my younger siblings. Semi and Yehwan were sobbing uncontrollably, and I couldn't let myself do the sa. My siblings and I were everything to her, so I had to keep all of us safe.

I lived as hard as I could to keep myself sane, and I smiled as I took care of my siblings. Han Ye-an probably got through each day doing the sa thing right after our parents' deaths. Now that I was in the sa position as her, I felt the sa things she must have gone through. It was incredibly difficult, so my heart hurt even more.

All of the feelings that I couldn't express about her death always seed to express themselves in my dreams.

And then, one day, Han Ye-an appeared in my dream. She yanked at my hair with a prim expression and tone before pulling into a hug and soothed . I broke into sobs in the arms of my older sister, who had been a pillar of support in my life.

'I miss you, I want to see you, please…… You're not dead.'

I still wanted to deny it. I expressed all of the sadness I couldn't show in front of my siblings towards the Han Ye-an in my dreams. I clung onto her and refused to believe that she had died.

When I held her face with shaking hands, I realized that my hands were soaked with blood. The blood was coming from Han Ye-an. When blood continued to spill, I tried harder to cling onto her.

I knew what this blood ant. I was unwittingly admitting her death, as much as I wanted to forget it in my dreams.

'No, no, hey. No, please don't. No! Nuna! Han Ye-an!'

I hugged Han Ye-an as hard as I could as if I was clinging on to my last hope, even as she slowly turned cold in my arms.

When her body lost strength and her neck looked like it would snap to the side, I held onto her head with my hand. I carefully hugged her breaking body and leaned it towards myself. Her warm body grew colder and colder, and her black eyes lost focus and looked like the eyes of a doll.

When I raised my head, I was on the cold asphalt ground. Blood continued to spread outwards, and I could still hear the ringing of her phone echoing around us. I was begging with her. I wanted her to co back to life to say sothing, anything. I wished she could call my na, just one more ti.

'Take too. I can't handle it…..'

I stretched my hand towards her sobbing, gasping form.

When I woke up, I was back in reality. I clenched my hands into a fist and smashed it down into my bed, cursing life.

Whenever I felt like the continued nightmares and our life began to tighten around my neck, I took out a sheet of paper I kept in the second drawer in my room. The paper had turned yellow from ti and was worn out, so I had placed it in a plastic zipper bag preciously.

The paper, dotted with blood, was the letter that Han Ye-an had written alongside her gift.

I rubbed one of the spots of blood with my finger. It was obvious, but it didn't go away.

My heart always ached whenever I took out the letter–I couldn't help but rember that ti.

The letter felt like it was teasing , but it was full of her honest, kind feelings as my older sister.

When I read parts of the letter out loud, I always ended up mimicking her tone. Ten years had passed, but I clearly rembered her gestures, her tone, and her stare.

Whenever I read the letter out loud, I couldn't help but get teary. I put the letter down.

My eyes felt warm and ready to spill tears, but I smiled. I rubbed at my eyes with my hands.

Semi and Yehwan were pretty calm and understanding of her death now. Han Ye-an was another beautiful, sad mory of their past.

They could both look back and think, "Han Ye-an was a great older sister." They could rember her when we wanted, and briefly forget about her when we were busy. They were different from , who was still trying to forget her. I didn't like how lonely I was, so I even had a roommate from work to distract from it all. That said enough.

Yehwan and Semi were both physically and ntally mature now. I didn't need to hide my emotions because I worried for their stability.

Unlike Han Ye-an, who was unable to show her true feelings until her death, I had the luxury of being able to be honest to my feelings.

My heart felt stuffy–I put my hand on my necklace, which held an orange and black gem. I touched the pointy tip of the necklace with the tip of my finger. Whenever I was nervous, I touched the tip of the necklace. It had worn down a lot now.

This necklace had been given to by Yehwan a long ti ago, but I had no idea who had given it to us. When I asked Semi, she said that a princess gave it to them. I had no idea what that ant.

Whenever I touched this necklace and the mysterious gem in it, my heart cald down. I had never taken it off since. I liked the design, too, and I felt more energetic whenever I had it on .

I got out of the house and got into my car to head over to the cinerarium.

I kept thinking of her as I drove. She had faded into the background when she should've shone the most. I had poked her face and had kept trying to wake her up even as I stared at her dead body.

I had hugged her dead body in my arms as I argued with the doctor, but they just shook their head. When the doctor told that she was completely gone, I think I had passed out for a mont.

I was snapped out of my daze when I got a call from Yehwan and Semi. I listened to them complain and ask when I was going to bring the ice cream and watched as Han Ye-an's body was collected.

I felt like I was pushed into an icy river. I heard Semi complain about how both and Ye-an were taking too long, and I couldn't bear it anymore.

I hung up the phone and burst into another round of sobs. I felt like my sanity was going to snap from her passing, so I resisted at first. But I wanted to keep my promise to Han Ye-an, so I turned my sight towards my siblings.

Han Ye-an started to treat like her younger brother from so point in ti, but I didn't accept her. I didn't accept anybody, to be honest.

I had been too wild since I was a child.

'Teacher~ Se-yoo is bullying the other kids again.''Teacher! Se-yoo is fighting again!'

My personality was a bit more aggressive and different compared to other kids. I was strangely attracted to fighting and always walked along the streets picking on others. I acted polite and nice in front of people I wanted to look good in front of like my mom, but I acted like a hellion towards other family mbers or other people.

So I was known as a problem child, and everyone seed sick of my interest in violence.

There were tis when even my mom gave up on and clicked her tongue, but Han Ye-an didn't let it go.

'I'm going to send everything and get you suspended from school. Stop it. Don't do anything to ruin your own future.'

Han Ye-an threatened with my weak points to try and get to behave. When threats didn't seem to work, she ca to school and made a big deal out of it in front of others, embarrassing . So whenever I tried to behave every once in a while, she showered with so much praise that it was almost overwhelming.

She played an even more active role in my life than myself. She trusted in where even my own mother couldn't, and tried to understand and trust where she could. When I ca back ho injured, she supported wholeheartedly even without hearing the entire story.

Regardless of how factual it was, Han Ye-an treated more like her younger brother than a problem child, so she tried to understand things that I couldn't even think of. Was that what changed ? I realized that I had to fold and give up so things in life to get by without causing problems. I started to look at life with a more healthier outlook.

Han Ye-an probably only saw as I raged against the world, but she only seed to see the good parts of . I didn't know how to feel when she, soone who had only been aggressive and spiteful towards , suddenly treated as one of her own. I was elated for so reason. It was nice to get that kind of affection from soone who only ignored previously. Han Ye-an accepted more and more as ti passed, so I was happy when our family suddenly had tragedy strike. I liked being on the receiving end of her free, unwavering attention.

Even though she accepted as one of her own, she didn't demand the sa of . She just showed continued interest in myself and waited patiently. And that was how I let soone else into my heart, alongside my mother.

When our finances beca rough, Han Ye-an always fixed things around the house. Electronic devices took at least ten thousand won* or more, so she always tried to repair things as much as she could. Personally, the only class I had an average of 70% or higher was in math, so the two of us always wracked our heads and tried our best to repair things together.

I wanted to beco a pillar of strength for Han Ye-an, so I studied as hard as I could and researched as much as I could. Then, when Han Ye-an seed to see with a renewed gaze at my successful repairs, I decided to shift my future goals to math and science altogether. I liked achieving sothing after working with Han Ye-an, so I studied and tried my best to be able to teach her more. To be honest, if it wasn't for her then I would've gone into health or physical training as my future occupation. Taekwondo or kendo, sothing like that.

Our lives were smooth coasting until our parents passed. Our lives began to slowly shatter, little by little. Han Ye-an also began to shatter, little by little. We were running a marathon as if it was a sprint. Our lungs were burning, slowly getting ready to combust as we ran without knowing when we could rest.

I'm sorry to our parents, but I was more sad about the fact that Han Ye-an had to let herself go than the fact that they had passed. Even walking looked overwhelming for Han Ye-an after their deaths. I was angry at how she tried to take responsibility for even as she beca wrecked, so I left ho often. I hated seeing Semi or Yehwan pester Han Ye-an around the house. I left ho and went back to fighting and road the streets.

I was too young. I still regret it. I was stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I knew what she wanted and what she needed, but I avoided it. I had realized everything too late. I thought that if I wasn't in her sight, then she wouldn't care about . I was foolish.

I didn't think of sharing her burdens and instead burdened her more. I only realized that I was slowly eating away at her towards the end.

I only tried to run away. I think I ran away from everything because I wasn't used to our family being forcefully tied together. I only finally accepted her after she hid her suffering behind her liveliness. I finally began trying my best and accepted her as family only towards the end. I started to care for Semi and Yehwan, the others she took in as her own, and thought of them as my own. I wanted to take on so of the responsibility that she had.

And then, just when I felt like I was finally paying off my debts towards her,

Han Ye-an returned in front of as a corpse.

I was shaken from my roots. I felt numb. I think I stopped breathing then, too. My ears felt stuffed and I felt like soone had stabbed my body open from the inside.

I almost made another stupid mistake because of the sadness I felt after losing her. Thankfully, I read the letter that Han Ye-an had left behind before I had lost it again, and then I tried my best to protect the things that she had tried to protect while stretching myself thin.

I think I was the most active right after Han Ye-an died, and I had to take responsibility for my younger siblings. Semi and Yehwan were sobbing uncontrollably, and I couldn't let myself do the sa. My siblings and I were everything to her, so I had to keep all of us safe.

I lived as hard as I could to keep myself sane, and I smiled as I took care of my siblings. Han Ye-an probably got through each day doing the sa thing right after our parents' deaths. Now that I was in the sa position as her, I felt the sa things she must have gone through. It was incredibly difficult, so my heart hurt even more.

All of the feelings that I couldn't express about her death always seed to express themselves in my dreams.

And then, one day, Han Ye-an appeared in my dream. She yanked at my hair with a prim expression and tone before pulling into a hug and soothed . I broke into sobs in the arms of my older sister, who had been a pillar of support in my life.

'I miss you, I want to see you, please…… You're not dead.'

I still wanted to deny it. I expressed all of the sadness I couldn't show in front of my siblings towards the Han Ye-an in my dreams. I clung onto her and refused to believe that she had died.

When I held her face with shaking hands, I realized that my hands were soaked with blood. The blood was coming from Han Ye-an. When blood continued to spill, I tried harder to cling onto her.

I knew what this blood ant. I was unwittingly admitting her death, as much as I wanted to forget it in my dreams.

'No, no, hey. No, please don't. No! Nuna! Han Ye-an!'

I hugged Han Ye-an as hard as I could as if I was clinging on to my last hope, even as she slowly turned cold in my arms.

When her body lost strength and her neck looked like it would snap to the side, I held onto her head with my hand. I carefully hugged her breaking body and leaned it towards myself. Her warm body grew colder and colder, and her black eyes lost focus and looked like the eyes of a doll.

When I raised my head, I was on the cold asphalt ground. Blood continued to spread outwards, and I could still hear the ringing of her phone echoing around us. I was begging with her. I wanted her to co back to life to say sothing, anything. I wished she could call my na, just one more ti.

'Take too. I can't handle it…..'

I stretched my hand towards her sobbing, gasping form.

When I woke up, I was back in reality. I clenched my hands into a fist and smashed it down into my bed, cursing life.

Whenever I felt like the continued nightmares and our life began to tighten around my neck, I took out a sheet of paper I kept in the second drawer in my room. The paper had turned yellow from ti and was worn out, so I had placed it in a plastic zipper bag preciously.

The paper, dotted with blood, was the letter that Han Ye-an had written alongside her gift.

I rubbed one of the spots of blood with my finger. It was obvious, but it didn't go away.

My heart always ached whenever I took out the letter–I couldn't help but rember that ti.

The letter felt like it was teasing , but it was full of her honest, kind feelings as my older sister.

When I read parts of the letter out loud, I always ended up mimicking her tone. Ten years had passed, but I clearly rembered her gestures, her tone, and her stare.

Whenever I read the letter out loud, I couldn't help but get teary. I put the letter down.

My eyes felt warm and ready to spill tears, but I smiled. I rubbed at my eyes with my hands.

Semi and Yehwan were pretty calm and understanding of her death now. Han Ye-an was another beautiful, sad mory of their past.

They could both look back and think, "Han Ye-an was a great older sister." They could rember her when we wanted, and briefly forget about her when we were busy. They were different from , who was still trying to forget her. I didn't like how lonely I was, so I even had a roommate from work to distract from it all. That said enough.

Yehwan and Semi were both physically and ntally mature now. I didn't need to hide my emotions because I worried for their stability.

Unlike Han Ye-an, who was unable to show her true feelings until her death, I had the luxury of being able to be honest to my feelings.

My heart felt stuffy–I put my hand on my necklace, which held an orange and black gem. I touched the pointy tip of the necklace with the tip of my finger. Whenever I was nervous, I touched the tip of the necklace. It had worn down a lot now.

This necklace had been given to by Yehwan a long ti ago, but I had no idea who had given it to us. When I asked Semi, she said that a princess gave it to them. I had no idea what that ant.

Whenever I touched this necklace and the mysterious gem in it, my heart cald down. I had never taken it off since. I liked the design, too, and I felt more energetic whenever I had it on .

I got out of the house and got into my car to head over to the cinerarium.

I kept thinking of her as I drove. She had faded into the background when she should've shone the most. I had poked her face and had kept trying to wake her up even as I stared at her dead body.

I had hugged her dead body in my arms as I argued with the doctor, but they just shook their head. When the doctor told that she was completely gone, I think I had passed out for a mont.

I was snapped out of my daze when I got a call from Yehwan and Semi. I listened to them complain and ask when I was going to bring the ice cream and watched as Han Ye-an's body was collected.

I felt like I was pushed into an icy river. I heard Semi complain about how both and Ye-an were taking too long, and I couldn't bear it anymore.

I hung up the phone and burst into another round of sobs. I felt like my sanity was going to snap from her passing, so I resisted at first. But I wanted to keep my promise to Han Ye-an, so I turned my sight towards my siblings.