I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You Chapter 1: This is What it Feels Like to Date a Male Caprico

Chapter 1: This is What it Feels Like to Date a Male Capricorn

001

Last year, when Mr. F was on a business trip to Japan, I discovered a thread online titled “Sisters, how do you guys normally tease your boyfriends through text ssages?”. The answers in the thread were hilarious to say the least.

Coincidentally, I had just changed my mobile number that day. As such, I sent Mr. F an anonymous ssage: “Hey Big Boss, do you need any special services?”

He didn’t reply.

I persevered in my efforts, sending him yet another text ssage: “Little lonely wild cat has a fiery and burning passion, and will be delivered to your doorstep. Satisfaction guaranteed.”

After a while, he called . On picking up the phone, the first sentence he said was, “Are you very bored at ho?”

I was extrely shocked, “How did you know it was ?”

He said, “Only you would be bored enough to pull such a stunt.” He paused montarily, thinking before continuing, “I’ll be returning the day after tomorrow.”

“So soon? Aren’t you only scheduled to return next week?”

“Sudden change in plans.”

Soti afterward, his colleague ca over to our house for dinner. The conversation naturally turned to the recent Japan trip, and the colleague said, “Mr. F didn’t even attend the celebratory dinner. The mont his work ended he rushed to the airport without a mont’s delay, claiming that there was nobody at ho and he had to return to take care of the cat.”

He surveyed our surroundings, and asked out of curiosity, “Speaking of which… where’s the cat?”

I flushed imdiately. Mr. F placed a piece of fish in my bowl, and replied calmly without a change in expression, “It’s easily scared and is afraid of strangers.”

I wanted to bury my face in the bowl.

002

Mr F. was always an extrely stern and proud person in front of outsiders. As such, people often referred to him as Ice Man. Conversely, I was the exact opposite. As an experienced lunatic, I had a burning passion for acting, and Mr. F always tells off by claiming that it was a pity that I haven’t pursued an acting career.

Once, while we were eating out, I suddenly stopped and told him seriously, “Brother-in-law, how can we face our sister after what we have done?”

Initially, he would, along with the waiter, stare at with a thunderstruck expression. However, he gradually got used to it over the years, and even managed a calm reply yesterday – “I’m sure your sister give us her blessings from Heaven.”

There was one ti when I was suddenly struck by inspiration, and I told him enthusiastically that I wanted to act as the lovestruck and loyal second male lead.

I managed to ld into my role fairly quickly, and roared at him, “I am the one who loves Joey the most! I will never let you have her!”

He leaned against the bookshelf, browsing through his book cursorily whilst managing a halfhearted reply, “Take her then.”

I was stunned – according to the script, the story should not have unfolded in such a manner.

I continued, “I’m going to take her away tonight, and leave you forever!”

He snapped the book shut in an instant, and said coldly, “Try taking her away – if she dares to leave with other people, I’ll break her leg.”

Kao! Who authorised you to change the script!

003

The neighbours living above us had comnced renovation, causing each day to be filled with incessant loud noises. As such, I decided to book a room in a hotel in an attempt to find so peace when writing.

At night, Mr. F arrived to deliver my dinner. My two eyes shone brightly and I asked him mischievously, “Doesn’t this feel like we’re having an affair?”

He glared at severely.

Who could have predicted that on entering the room, this man would start to disrobe imdiately? I asked him what he was doing.

He replied with a serious expression on his face, “Hurry up, my wife ends work at 5PM.”

004

When returning from a business trip, I received a telephone call from my best friend at the airport. She had just experienced a breakup and was crying uncontrollably. Dragging my luggage, I t up with her for drinks.

It’s often said that a long-lasting relationship is an anomalous phenonon; it’s akin to a treasure that descended from heaven, and is simply extravagant to hope that it’s like the distribution of lunch boxes at lunch ti in that the mont lunchti arrives, everybody will manage to get one set.

On returning ho, I felt particularly lancholic, and hugged Mr. F tightly. “My luck has always been rather bad; the only lucky thing that happened in my entire life is my eting you, so I’m extrely grateful for our relationship. Having grown so old, the one and only thing that I have relentlessly persevered in is loving you.”

He replied, “Yup, I’m touched you think this way.” He paused, “But don’t think that just because you said this I’ll forgive you for returning ho at 3AM in the morning.”

He glared sternly at , and headed to the kitchen to brew a cup of honey for to help neutralize my alcoholic drinks.

005

I am a chatterbox, and I often ramble relentlessly to his ears. One day, I asked him rather abruptly, “Do you feel that I’m extrely long-winded?”

He was driving then, with his eyes glued to the road ahead. He replied expressionlessly, “Yeah, pretty long-winded.”

I was slightly unhappy – so he has been feeling annoyed by all this while.

He broke into a smile, and said, “I have to listen to your long-winded speeches my whole life anyway. It’s fine since I’m used to it.”

006

We were high school classmates. When he was studying, he was exactly like how he is now – although he appeared to be extrely cool on the surface with a poisonous tongue, he had an extrely good heart within. Subsequently, because of various incidents, coupled with our immaturity at that point in ti, we severed our friendship.

He went to England to study, and we lost contact for many years. During one of our class reunion dinners, soone ntioned that he had previously dialed Mr. F’s old number by accident and surprisingly, the call actually managed to connect. It was then that I realized that Mr. F had kept his original number all these years.

“But isn’t it very inconvenient for him, since he is staying overseas?”

Nobody could understand why Mr. F chose to retain his original number, but the final conclusion we reached was that the mind of a great genius is not sothing we re mortals can possibly understand.

Not long afterward, Mr. F’s birthday arrived. I mustered sufficient courage to send him a text ssage, hugging my phone throughout the night. But there was no reply. On the second day, he finally replied, with a very distant and courteous phrase – “Thank you.”

When he subsequently returned to China, I brought a body solely filled with courage and travelled to Beijing to look for him. There, we made up and decided to be together. One day, whilst rifling through his bookshelf, I found the Nokia N97 that he used in the past. I turned it on – the call history and ssages were all deleted, and only the draft folder for text ssages had anything left. Out of curiosity, I clicked it. There were more than ten draft ssages inside the folder.

Today, I t a girl at ASDA who looked like you.

Paul ca out with a new album, and it feels like you’re sitting right next to when I listen to his songs.

The weather has grown colder in Changsha, so rember to keep warm and wear more clothes.

I forgive you, so please give a call.

…

The final ssage was: I really miss you.

The ti of the ssage was his birthday.