I Died and Became a Hollow, But I Get Stronger by Being an Idiot Chapter 16: Cero Surfing and Other Bad Life Choices

Current EP: 6,200 / 1,000,000

Another eternal night in Hueco Mundo.

The pale white sands stretched endlessly, the sky forever dark, and the occasional Hollow scream echoed in the distance. But ? I had bigger plans today.

Cero Surfing.

That's right.

I was going to ride my own Cero like a board.

Why?

Because the System loves rewarding my stupidity, and frankly, I was running out of dumb ideas that didn't imdiately kill .

I lumbered up to the top of a sand dune, standing tall — six stories of towering bone and questionable judgnt.

"GRRROOOOH."

(Translation: "Ti to invent extre sports.")

I pointed both hands downward, gathering a twin Cero beneath my feet. The crimson light flared, sand lting around it, and every sane Hollow in a fifty-ter radius sprinted for cover.

Smart.

?

I stood proudly atop the twin Cero as it charged up.

It was unstable.

It was overpowered.

It was perfect.

And then I fired.

PEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW—

The twin beams of destructive energy erupted, propelling my enormous Gillian body forward like a rocket-powered sled. The sands behind turned to glass. My mask flapped in the wind. It was glorious.

For exactly three seconds.

Then, physics caught up.

I lost balance.

And by "lost balance" I an I sorsaulted through the air, one massive bony leg over my head, and crashed face-first into the largest boulder in the area.

BOOOOM.

The entire dune collapsed.

A Hollow hiding nearby fainted on the spot.

[SYSTEM NOTICE: Invented 'Cero Surfing' — 650 EP]

[SYSTEM NOTICE: Perford catastrophic wipeout — 400 EP]

Current EP: 7,250 / 1,000,000

I groaned.

"Gruuuugh…"

(Translation: "Totally worth it.")

My mask cracked a little. My pride did not.

I peeled myself out of the crater and dusted myself off — taphorically. It's hard to dust yourself off when your hands are literal bone-clubs.

At this point, the sa crow-faced Hollow from before peeked over a rock.

Still clapping.

Legend.

I gave him a thumbs-up.

Or at least, what passed for a thumbs-up when you had three finger bones.

[SYSTEM NOTICE: Ford unofficial fan club — 300 EP]

Current EP: 7,550 / 1,000,000

Nice.

I stomped off to find my next masterpiece of idiocy. The options were limitless.

Idea Board:

Try to stack three Ceros on top of each other.

Challenge a boulder to a staring contest.

See if I could jump into the air and do a cannonball onto a sand dune.

I rubbed my chin.

Or, well, the front of my mask.

The cannonball idea sounded good.

I lumbered up another dune, grunted with effort, and hurled my massive body into the air.

For a mont, I was weightless.

Majestic.

A six-story skeletal missile.

And then—

THUUUUD.

A sand explosion mushrood into the air. The shockwave knocked over several smaller Hollows.

One got buried alive.

Another got launched into the distance, wailing like a falling anvil.

[SYSTEM NOTICE: Executed 'Gillian Cannonball' — 700 EP]

[SYSTEM NOTICE: Created localized sandquake — 400 EP]

Current EP: 8,650 / 1,000,000

I laughed.

Or what passed for laughter here.

"GROOOOOOH!"

(Translation: "This is the best life ever.")

Current EP: 8,650 / 1,000,000