Mother’s words imdiately caused my brain to be blank.
What did she an by that?
She just talked to Luca and then moved to eye and that was her first words…? Wouldn’t that an she was saying…?!
But how could that be??
Nevertheless, my body reflexively ford a greeting to Mother, who also curtseyed in return.
“Excuse , Dahlia-san, but what did you an by those words?” I asked.
“It’s exactly as I said. Aren’t you going to be the crown prince’s fiancée soon?” Mother said as if it was a matter of fact.
“Uhm… I don’t follow… Where did you hear about it?” I tilted my head slightly.
“There were rumors circulating for quite so ti.”
“Rumors are just rumors.”
“But there won’t be a smoke without fire. The rumor’s got to have so basis. I was even assuming that the ones who started it were…”
Her words stopped there, but I understood what she was thinking.
She thought that the engagent between and Luca would be happening, and perhaps it would be announced in the future. It was sothing set in stone. As for the rumors, if it wasn’t from other people catching wind of the matter, it could be the ones involved who tried to let the rumor out.
After all, there was once a rumor about two noble children’s engagent that was created by one of the parties involved. With the rumors such as “A and B are such perfect couple!” or “They were truly a match in heaven…”, even if it wasn’t true at first, the other party would be intrigued to find out more why the rumors would happen. Then, the probability of the rumors coming true would increase. Besides, such a tactic could discourage other people from trying to get close to the parties involved, for they were rumored to be betrothed.
Of course, there were so rumors created to beco a trap, or to sche others…
Words have such amazing power, so we must be careful for our own words.
“No, Dahlia-san. The rumors might be there because I am the crown prince’s best friend… but in the end, we’re just best friends,” I said.
“Oh? Then, what about the royal family’s opinions? Your parents’?” Dahlia probed.
The topic of the royal family’s matters, especially matters such as engagents and unions between them has always been the hot topic among nobles, especially noble won. Forming a connection with the future mbers of the royal family would be beneficial, especially if nurtured from an early stage.
I could understand why Mother was especially keen of it, despite not having relatives to be matched with the mbers of the royal family.
…Or was there none at all?
Or she was simply interested in this topic because of… ? Because of Reinst in the past and how I was sotis compared to her?
It wasn’t odd for the best queen candidate to be rumored to the previous generation’s best queen candidate.
Regardless…
“We’ve talked about it before. Our parents will leave it up to us. They don’t have any plans on betrothing us without our agreents,” I said.
“Hmm… We’ll see about that in the future. As a parent myself, I understand very well their thoughts,” Mother said.
My current parents are very different from you. They definitely won’t think like you.
I reflexively said in my mind, and it was at that ti that I realized.
As the years passed by, I didn’t seem to be very hung up with my past self’s parents as much as I did before. It was easy to not get so hung up to Father, for I was never close to him, and I never really cared about him as much as I did with Mother.
As for Mother… I was obsessed with her and her affection as Reinst. But now, I didn’t seem to care that much…
Sure, I was still curious about her feelings towards as Reinst, but that was it.
A lot had happened in my life as Lyra and who knows what or when did I start feeling this way…
In this case, should I still…?
In the first place, how should I plant Fenrir’s mark to Mother and Father? Doing the sa antics as I did with Domi before would surely be a little bit too much, right?
Should I let it go or…
[Don’t be afraid to face her. You can plant my mark by going through her shadows, thankfully, since you are a dark magic user. However, it’s going to be more complicated and tiring.]
Fenrir’s voice resounded in my mind.
Afraid to face Mother? …?
…Aah, yes. Perhaps deep down, I knew the answer all along. I just didn’t want to hear it from her directly…
But even so, Fenrir urged to continue because he knew there was a part of that was still so hung up on Mother. After all, she was like the center of my world as Reinst for the thirteen years I lived through.
‘I thought I had to physically co in contact with the target or the object closest to them, like their clothes… So there is that way, too?’ I asked in my heart.
[Yes, but as I said, it’s harder. I never told you before because of that. But you’ve planted my marks several tis and you’ve also improved in terms of dark magic power. Let’s try it out. If it fails, you can just act like you’re dumb or if you’re too clumsy.]
…Dumb or too clumsy?
Two scenarios ran in my head.
The first one was I pretended to be clumsy, tripped on my own dress, fell and my hands touched her skirt in the middle of my fall… But that would embarrass so much!
The second one… Play dumb…
“Do inform if you’re really going to be the crown prince’s fiancée. As the mother of the previous best candidate, I might be able to give you or your mother so words of advice,” Mother said.
“Ah, Dahlia-san! The fan you’re using is so pretty! Can I try it?” I said, pretending to not comprehend her words and obviously stirred the topic to… sothing very ridiculous.
‘Is this girl’s EQ so low or is she dumb?’ …might be what Mother would have in mind in this scenario…
No, no, no! I gotta succeed in the alternative way Fenrir just told !
Determined, I tried to multitask. One was to keep talking with Dahlia-san. Luckily, my friends joined in the conversation as they supported my words. Another task I was doing was… making sure that my foot touched Mother’s shadow and tried to slowly give Fenrir’s mark to Mother.
I wasn’t sure if I was doing it correctly or not, it was hard to tell.
Thankfully, Fenrir told that it was successfully planted.
Before I could rest, Father walked over to Mother and their shadows were joined. Fenrir imdiately told to try marking Father using the sa way—shadow transfer.
Thus, I successfully planted three marks to my previous self’s family mbers.
Although I wasn’t sure anymore if I wanted to go as Reinst and ask them… especially the elders—Mother and Father.
But Fenrir kept saying ‘better safe than sorry’ and it wasn’t easy to get this chance, so I planted them just in case.
The party ended without any notable difficulty or event other than my successfully planting Fenrir’s marks on all remaining targets.
When I returned and finished tidying up, I laid on my bed with Fenrir by my side.
I started talking to him with a low voice.
“Fen, I don’t think I really need to see Mother and Father as Reinst… I an, I already know the answer all along… I was doing better too. I no longer felt heavy due to my dark magic when I t them. So…”
“Despite all that, I know you still feel nervous when you t them earlier. And even if you know the answer, you still want to make sure, right?”
“But… What happens after I hear the answer from them? What for? How should I respond?” I asked.
“I’m sure you will find out the answers by that ti. I just feel that it’s necessary for you to talk with them one last ti as Reinst,” Fenrir said.
“Uh… I see… I wonder if I will feel much better after that. I’m starting to feel detached to my old self by now already… Yes, I’ve been living for… almost twelve years now, and I will soon catch up with my old self’s age… That might be why.”
“Is that all you want to know?” Fenrir asked.
“Hmmm… There is one more thing, but it’s difficult,” I said as I sighed before I continued, “I want to know why I had to live as Reinst first before becoming Lyra. What’s the aning of my life as Reinst? It was quite aningless, don’t you think…?”
“I don’t think so,” Fenrir said.
“How so?” I blinked and argued, “It would be much better if I were to be born as Lyra directly, no?”
That would save so much heartache and my potential in magic would soar better as I would have no qualms with dark magic that way…
“You seem to forget sothing,” Fenrir said.
“What is it?” I asked.
“The past forms the present.”
“The past… forms the present…”
“That’s right. If you were never Reinst before you were reborn, I’m sure the you who’s here won’t be ‘you’. I doubt things will unfold the sa way as they are now. For example, I’m not sure I will still beco your Familiar. Without your past experiences as Reinst, many things will change,” Fenrir reminded .
That might be true.
No, that’s got to be true.
I was just too absorbed in the ‘what ifs’ and wanted an easier way of living. Without the past life’s chains bothering , my life would be easier.
But at the sa ti, without them, I won’t be the way I am right now.
It was so obvious… How foolish of .
“But that’s not enough. I want sothing more concrete. Like…,” my eyes widened as I rembered, “Like for example, my cell donation…! I still want to find out if my cells were ever used and who it saved…”
Then I slumped on my bed, “But that’s quite impossible as the matter such as cell donation is confidential. I don’t really want to climb in the hierarchy of the health system just to access the information…”
Another way was to ask those who could access the information. I had no connection to anyone in the health system, but I knew the royal family… Even so, there was no way I could ask this question, right?
Another thod was to be part of the royal family, but that would an…
No, I want to marry for love, not for any gains like that…
“I might never find out the answer of this question in this lifeti… Oh my… That light god told to find out myself before reincarnating , but how the heck am I supposed to find it out myself this way?” I shifted the bla to the light god. Yes, things would be much simpler if they were to tell !
“Going by the assumption that the light god is indeed… a ‘god’, I think there might be a way,” Fenrir said.
“That’s it, my brain will be fried. I find no way at all…”
“Then let’s just put it aside. If such an opportunity really cos, we can grab it. If not, can you just focus on living your life now?” Fenrir asked.
“That’s what I’m thinking about. I just hope my curiosity can fade away…”
But they’re eating alive, I need answers!!
“Let’s just focus on the matter at hand. My marks won’t last too long. Let’s see soone tonight,” Fenrir said.
“Uh… Then, I’ll go with Domi first… can I?”
It’s easier to speak with the sa generation as , even if I don’t think there are a lot I can talk to Domi about. Heck, will he even recognize as his sister?
But I am indeed curious about his life now. And if I have any influence at all in his life. And… Adel.
Since I’ve gone through the pains of planting Fenrir’s mark on him, let’s just make good use of it!
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