Chapter 21: Why Do You Live LikeThat?
Seohan's low voice gently layered over the beat.
Although I had focused more on vocals in practice, my low voice also suited the rap position quite well.
So I took the plunge.
A soft rap that matched the dreamy atmosphere.
Seohan recited the lyrics without hesitation.
I’m a chaser for you
I don’t miss that it’s dark all around
It’s just a destiny
A second chance that ca after a long ti
I’ll never miss it
I swear on the sky
So rember this stage
“Waaaaaah!”
Ha Junseo picked up Do Seohan’s rap.
The stage always feels like the first ti for
Pinky promise
It won’t change, at least for this mont
Line by line. So people cheered and others teared up at the lyrics we poured our hearts into.
Was it the dreamy lody in the background, or the endlessly flickering lights?
To Seohan, this mont felt like a dream.
“Do Seohan! Do Seohan! Do Seohan!”
“Mam-Seohan, debuttttt!”
At first, I just wanted to do well.
A second chance that had co around. It felt like a single mistake could make it vanish.
I obsessed over the results. Even while preparing for the performance, I pushed myself to the limit.
But.
Once I stood on stage.
‘That doesn’t matter.’
I was just grateful to be standing on this stage.
Let’s enjoy the stage.
If this is the second chance, if this is a chance that won’t co again—
Let’s enjoy it so I’ll never regret it.
“Kyaaaaaaah!”
Even if I want to fly but can’t reach it
I’ll swim toward that empty space
Clap.
Seohan high-fived Ha Junseo and jumped forward on stage with a smile.
“Uwaaaah! What do I dooo!”
People were so close, it felt like I could reach out and touch them.
Even though only a few episodes had aired, there were people there cheering for .
It was a weekday. And even late at night.
Just how far did they travel for this stage, for a performance that only lasted a few minutes? I understood now what that ant.
That soone would offer love without expecting anything in return.
That soone would give blind support.
I knew how difficult that truly was.
Here and there, I saw my na.
[Mam-Seohan must debut!]
[Hamster, let’s debut!!]
[Do-Hamster, I should’ve given birth to you]
Seohan slowly scanned the placards with his na on them.
One by one, I t their eyes. I waved. I smiled with all my heart.
“We made eye contact!”
“Seohan, I love youuu!”
Before I knew it, the performance had passed.
What could be beyond there?
It felt like I’d never be able to reach it.
But if you’re there, if it’s you in that place—
Then I’ll open that door. I promise.
I’ll work harder, endure this thin ice with all I’ve got.
I’ll show you the next stage—Seohan promised silently.
“Waaaaaaah!”
“Guys! Let’s debut!!!”
“Kyaaaaaaaa!”
I was happy.
So much that I wished ti would stop.
Normally, I’d be too shy to say this, but with red ears, Seohan spoke up.
“I love you too!”
It was a dreamlike stage.
“I still feel like I’m shaking.”
“I thought my heart was gonna burst. Or maybe it already did? Hah, it’s not beating?”
“You all did great. That stage was seriously perfect.”
It was a performance we prepared through hell.
We gave it our all in such a short ti and put ourselves into it. We laughed, sharing that sa struggle.
My heart wouldn’t calm down either.
I leaned against the wall, catching my breath.
“Hoo… hoo.”
I had no regrets because I gave it my all.
Ha Junseo ruffled my hair and gave a thumbs up.
The main rapper gave a complint.
“Your rap was really good.”
“Ah… please. Don’t.”
“You wrote the lyrics, didn’t you?”
“That’s right, that’s right. Seohan wrote them. They were touching.”
Seo Haim’s eyes sparkled as if she’d caught sothing juicy.
That wasn’t supposed to be writing the lyrics.
I volunteered to give it a shot and it ended up like this.
Unintentionally, because of our team’s lineup—Seo Haim, Jin Sehyun, and even Lee Junhyeok.
They were mostly vocalists, so I, as the leader, offered to try rapping.
…Now the embarrassnt hit late.
“Hey, you’re better than most people in rap positions! You’ve got talent!”
Ha Junseo patted my back and continued.
“Yeah, you’re really good! Like, seriously, huh? Just, really good.”
“That’s right, that’s right.”
“Oh my, our maknae worked really hard?”
These people...
They know too well now.
They know exactly how to make run away out of embarrassnt.
Todododo.
“Seohan! Where are you going!”
“……”
Thump.
Eventually, it was only after I quietly escaped to a corner and banged my head against the wall that everyone cald down.
“Seohan’s crying, let’s stop teasing him.”
“You were the one teasing him the most.”
“Hey, maknae! I won’t tease you anymore, co here!”
At Jin Sehyun’s blunt truth, Ha Junseo laughed and dragged back to the waiting room.
Ha Junseo tapped my shoulder and spoke.
“Ah, even thinking about it now, it was seriously thrilling. Right?”
“It was.”
The judges' evaluations were good, and the audience response was great.
Of course the atmosphere had to be good.
As we bickered and entered the waiting room—
“Oh, oh? You’re back!”
The mood of the teams that had already finished their stages was strange.
“Huh?”
All their gazes turned this way at once.
Ha Junseo seed to notice sothing was off and darted his eyes around.
“……”
What is this, this silence.
It’s probably not just tension from underperforming on stage.
No way.
“Lee Junhyeok…?”
That face I had thrown darts with at the balloon darts event.
Cha Seongbin.
The guy who always smiled under black hair looked unusually stiff today.
He had been hesitating in a corner but now stepped forward, glancing at Lee Junhyeok.
Sothing really happened, didn’t it?
Whatever it was, it wouldn’t surprise , so I scratched my head—he was now walking toward .
“Seohan-ssi too.”
?
Why ?
“Did you see this?”
Cha Seongbin held out his phone to .
“Give it here.”
Lee Junhyeok’s face quickly stiffened in real-ti.
A photo taken at a café with so unfamiliar faces. A short video uploaded underneath it.
I couldn’t make sense of the situation.
What on earth was going on.
Why was my na involved in this.
I frowned and shifted my gaze to the post.
[I’m at a café in Bangbae-dong and Lee Junhyeok is here!!]
[Photo]
[Photo]
A sighting post about Lee Junhyeok—up to that point, I understood.
It shouldn’t have been anything that sparked controversy.
He hadn’t secretly gone out to et a girl, probably just t so friends.
Even then, I couldn’t quite grasp what the issue was.
Cha Seongbin gulped and played the video.
And then, the waiting room fell silent again.
-It’s just... there’s a strange rumor going around.
Lee Junhyeok’s voice echoed through the silent waiting room.
Originally barely audible in the original video, soone had edited and amplified it. Though there was noise, the sound was clear enough.
The conversation in it was more shocking than expected.
-There’s a rumor that sothing happened with that guy at KJ. Since we’re in the sa team, I’ve been a bit concerned.
-If it’s sothing bad… at least I should try to keep the team mission going. I’ve basically been acting as the leader. I ca as a representative since my teammates were uneasy.
Jin Sehyun’s expression turned cold.
I could roughly guess what was happening.
‘You ca from KJ, right?’
He had known since he tested earlier.
But this...
This was too blatant of a background check.
-You didn’t have a falling out with the company or sothing, did you?
-I’d like to know. Please tell .
Lee Junhyeok’s excited voice echoed clearly through the waiting room.
His excuse that he ca as a leader because his team was nervous—
Everyone here knew how absurdly false that was.
His intentions were so transparent.
Ha Junseo clenched his teeth and glared at Lee Junhyeok.
“…This isn’t right.”
It was the first ti I’d seen that. That soft, pliable guy showing such anger.
“Hyung... this… are you seriously okay?”
“Th-that’s…”
“Do you even call yourself human after that?”
Seo Haim was too speechless to open his mouth, and Jin Sehyun looked at Lee Junhyeok as if he were a bug.
Soone in the back muttered with a sigh.
“Wow, stabbed his own team. What a bastard.”
“Total jerk. It’s all over the forums too.”
“It’d be hilarious if he even passed the first round.”
We should be grateful there were no caras in this temporary waiting room.
Because harsh words were already flying behind us.
“……”
Lee Junhyeok’s face had gone completely pale.
It was obvious to anyone that he’d done a background check and dug up the truth.
In the silent waiting room, the full story of the still-playing video continued to unfold.
-He must have walked away from that debut team for that reason. Probably kept quiet in exchange for getting Seo Ian’s contract terminated. Right?
-He’s a dumbass, but a good kid.
-No need to worry too much. He didn’t cause trouble. Leader, you’ve got a hard job.
So that’s why Cha Seongbin ca looking for .
The stares that had been directed at Lee Junhyeok were now turning toward .
I didn’t know what those stares ant.
Were they pitying for leaving KJ? Or were they impressed that I gave everything up and walked away?
The look was subtle.
And my emotions were even more complicated than that.
Step, step.
I stood in front of Lee Junhyeok, who was swallowing dryly.
He had been digging his own grave, but now he’d brought a drill strong enough to pierce the Earth’s core.
Honestly, it was his life he was ruining—it had nothing to do with .
If you’re going to sink, at least sink alone.
Seo Ian. The na of a person completely unrelated was now on the public’s lips.
Thanks to Lee Junhyeok, my image would soar, but that hyung would have to drag around pity and all kinds of nasty attention.
It was sothing from 8 years ago for , but for that hyung, it was only 2 years ago.
A faded mory for , but a painfully vivid mont for him.
I clenched my teeth.
And coldly spat it out.
“Excuse .”
No other words ca to mind.
“Why do you live like that?”
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