Side Story 50. [After Story] Sid (4)
Year 682 of the Imperial Calendar.
Thirty years after the final battle against the monsters.
Southern Everblack Empire.
Crossroad.
“This is your last chance, oppa.” (TL note: sounds weird her calling him brother here, so I will use the original Korean word)
In front of the North Gate of Crossroad.
Just after stepping down from the carriage that had arrived from New Terra.
Sapphire spoke to Sid.
“This is the last chance to accept my proposal.”
Facing Sid, who looked flustered, Sapphire spoke with an unwavering voice.
“If you miss this chance, I will never propose to you again.”
“…”
“And I can say this confidently, setting aside family, ability, and appearance.”
Sapphire’s bright blue eyes did not waver at all.
“You will never et anyone else who loves you as much as I do.”
“…”
“So please think carefully and answer .”
Sapphire slowly extended her white hand forward.
“Oppa.”
Sid could not imdiately take that hand and simply stared blankly at it.
“Please, will you marry ?”
Lilly was sitting on the terrace of her house.
She nestled into a rocking chair, a blanket over her knees, knitting a scarf through her magnifying glasses.
That was when it happened.
“Mother!”
A familiar voice rang out.
Startled, Lilly looked up to see Sid running toward her with a bright smile.
“My son?”
Surprised, Lilly quickly moved herself into a wheelchair, trying to go greet her son, but Sid had already reached the house.
Grabbing her son’s cold hands with her own, Lilly asked urgently.
“Heavens, what brings you here without any notice? Did sothing happen?”
“It’s nothing major. There was so magical debris I needed to retrieve here. Sapphire also needed to return to Crossroad for her succession matters, so we shared a carriage.”
“I’m just glad you arrived safely. It’s so good to see your face after so long.”
“I’m relieved to see you doing well too, Mother.”
It had been ten years since Sid had left ho.
At first, he returned every year, but as he got busier with work in New Terra, his visits beca less frequent, replaced by letters. This ti, it had been nearly three years since his last visit.
The once fresh-faced twenty-one-year-old Sid had now beco a thirty-one-year-old man, and Lilly had long since passed her fifties. Reading even a book without her magnifying glasses had beco difficult.
Sid awkwardly smiled at the unfamiliar sight of his mother wearing glasses. Lilly smiled back just as awkwardly.
“You must be hungry. Have you eaten?”
“No. Since I’m ho after so long, I wanted to eat with you.”
“Well done. I’ll quickly fix sothing simple. Let’s go inside.”
After their al.
Sitting across from each other, holding teacups, Sid cautiously opened his mouth.
“Sapphire proposed to .”
Lilly, her eyes widening, swallowed her tea.
“Again? That child proposes to you twice every year.”
“She said this will be the last ti.”
Sid let out a deep breath.
“She said if I refuse this ti, she won’t cling to anymore. She said she’ll let go cleanly. So she asked to think carefully and answer.”
Lilly smiled gently and motioned with her eyes.
“What do you think of Sapphire?”
“…To , she still looks like the little girl from my childhood.”
Sid hesitated before continuing.
“But… after so many years of her pouring her heart into , I guess I can’t help but feel drawn to her too.”
“Hehe.”
Lilly covered her mouth and laughed.
“To think my son, who used to be as stiff as a rock, would blush talking about such things. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Mother…”
Embarrassed, Sid slowly bowed his head.
“Is it really okay?”
“What do you an? Marrying Sapphire? I wholeheartedly approve! Imagine becoming the in-law of a lord!”
“…Even if I start a family, and have children.”
Sid stamred but managed to finish his words.
“Will I be able to give them the sa love you gave ?”
“…”
“Will I be able to love my children as much as you loved ?”
Tap.
Lilly set her teacup down and quietly gazed at Sid.
Then she asked the question she had kept in her heart for a long ti.
“My son.”
“Yes.”
“Do you perhaps feel guilty toward ?”
“…Yes.”
Sid admitted readily.
“I’ve always carried this guilt inside , like I stole your entire life.”
“…”
“I feel like I took away the brightest part of your life. If it weren’t for , you might have lived a completely different life. A life for yourself, maybe…”
If she hadn’t gotten pregnant with Sid, what kind of life would she have lived?
Lilly quietly fell into thought. Sid slowly poured out the feelings he had suppressed for so long.
“Ten years ago, I left this place under the pretense of wanting your happiness. But now… I think I understand.”
“Understand what?”
“I was hoping that by living far away and becoming independent, my guilt toward you would fade. That sohow, if I built a life on my own, the guilt I felt toward the mother who sacrificed everything for would lessen.”
“…”
“But it’s still embedded in my heart, haunting constantly, endlessly…”
Lilly slowly reached out and held Sid’s hand.
“My son.”
“…Yes, Mother.”
“Don’t think like that. That’s, well…”
Lilly, choosing her words carefully, finally declared clearly.
“It’s just unnecessary ddling.”
Sid blinked in confusion.
“ddling…?”
“That’s right. Let’s make this clear first. I never sacrificed anything for you. I have always lived exactly the life I wanted to live.”
Looking into her son’s eyes, a blend of brown and green, Lilly smiled.
“Raising you, clothing you, feeding you—it was all a joy to , and that’s why I did my best. Watching you grow and change, eting your gaze, putting snacks into your little mouth, greeting you morning and night, holding your hand to go on walks…”
mories of raising Sid flashed through Lilly’s mind like a panorama.
From the difficult childbirth.
To being a novice mother, feeding him with a bottle, changing his diapers, calming his cries, listening to his baby talk.
Seeing his first steps, the first little teeth erging from his gums, giving him his first haircut.
He grew so fast it was frightening at tis, as if he changed every ti she blinked.
Those fleeting years…
“They were nothing but pure joy.”
Now, standing before her grown son, who spoke of marriage.
But who still carried the tender guilt from his childhood.
Lilly confessed her heart with all sincerity.
“I didn’t dedicate my life to you. I lived loving you and raising you because it made happy.”
“…”
“Sid. Whether you marry Sapphire or not, rember this.”
Lilly gripped Sid’s hand tightly, looking into his tear-filled eyes.
“Relationships between parents and children, between husband and wife, between family… no, all human relationships are not transactions.”
“…”
“You don’t have to give back what you’ve received, and you can’t expect to receive exactly what you’ve given. So don’t feel guilty. And don’t feel resentful either.”
“…”
“Just do your best to find your happiness.”
Lilly gently stroked Sid’s lowered red head.
“That’s enough. That’s all that matters.”
A few hours later.
Southern Crossroad. War morial.
Passing by the rusty golems displayed at the entrance, Sid stepped inside and slowly looked around.
The history of Crossroad’s battle against the monsters.
Here and there, records of his mother Lilly’s contributions to the battles were inscribed.
“…”
After reading all the records and walking toward the exit,
Sapphire was waiting for him.
Smiling warmly, Sapphire asked,
“Have you made up your mind?”
Taking a deep breath, Sid spoke.
“Sapphire.”
“Yes, oppa.”
“If I marry you, would I have to take the Cross surna?”
Surprised by the unexpected question, Sapphire pressed her index finger to her lips and thought for a mont.
“Probably, yes? Since I’ll be inheriting the title of Margrave, Sid, you would be joining our family as a son-in-law. You would have to use our family na. My father did the sa.”
Nodding slowly, Sid spoke carefully.
“If we get married and have children, we’ll give them the Cross surna. But… even after marriage, I want to continue using my mother’s surna.”
Sid had been using Lilly’s surna. Naturally, since he was the child she had borne and raised as a single mother.
“My mother raised alone, despite her health. She shaped into who I am. I don’t want to erase those years.”
“…”
“Even if I beco part of the Cross family, I want to remain my mother’s son.”
Sapphire smiled gently and nodded without hesitation.
“All right. I’m sure the elders will gladly approve too. Is there anything else you want to say?”
Exhaling deeply, Sid nodded slowly.
“I’ll be honest, Sapphire.”
“I’m listening.”
“I’m not confident I can love you as much as you love .”
“I know. I love you a little more, after all.”
“But relationships aren’t transactions.”
Sid extended his hand forward.
“I might fall short, but I will do my best to love you.”
“…”
“Will you marry ?”
Instead of answering, Sapphire ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck.
Sid embraced her tightly in return.
“Sorry it took so long to say yes.”
“It’s okay. I loved every step of the journey… And I’m confident.”
Looking into the face of her longti first love, Sapphire grinned with confidence.
“I’m sure I can make you love even more than I love you. Tons and tons.”
Several months later, at the end of autumn.
“My son is getting married.”
Lilly murmured as she looked down at the wedding invitation in her hands.
“His Majesty the Emperor himself said he would personally co to celebrate the marriage of his godson.”
Reading through the invitation letter word by word, Lilly slowly lifted her head.
At the edge of the forest bathed in the evening glow.
From the terrace, she could see the southern plains of Crossroad stretching far into the distance.
She gazed for a long ti toward the empty, desolate fields.
“Kalail.”
Whispering the long-missed na, Lilly asked,
“Won’t you co to see him?”
Swaaah…
The late autumn wind blew gently.
Lilly shrank her shoulders and hugged the blanket closer.
“Can’t you co to see him…?”
In an instant, the sunset faded and dusk began to creep over the land.
“I have no regrets. I lived exactly the way I wanted to.”
Leaning against the boundary between seasons, Lilly whispered.
“I loved you because I wanted to love you. I waited for you because I wanted to wait. I chose that life for my own happiness.”
Lilly slowly lowered her gaze.
“But… I don’t know.”
A bitter smile touched her lips.
“When will I finally be able to love even your lies?”
Soon, autumn would end.
Once again, winter would co.
The cruel season of promises.
“Maybe it’s still far off.”
Lilly, clutching her chilly shoulders, lowered her head.
“Still…”
–TL Notes–
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