“To take a step toward manhood and then leave alone and run off. Quite the feat, Master Ethan.”
“Lilith, it’s not...”
“I didn’t expect you to sneak off like that while I was asleep. Did your inner Casanova erge as soon as you threw off the shackles of pity?”
“Well, I’m not sure what a ‘Casanova temperant’ is, but it’s not like that, Lilith...”
“Now that I’m a ‘conquered woman,’ you’ve lost interest? If I had known it would be like this, maybe I should have teased you a bit longer. We could’ve waited until after you graduated from the Academy like we originally promised... that would’ve been perfect timing.”
“No, it’s not that I lost interest in you...”
Ethan stamred, clearly bewildered by my teasing, his expression giving away his confusion. It was easy to tell what was going on in his head.
One quick glance at him, and I knew he hadn’t intentionally left behind. I had figured that much while watching him mindlessly train earlier.
I’d seen enough of his confused face, so I decided to let the misunderstanding go.
“I’m just kidding, Master Ethan. I’m sure you had a lot on your mind and needed a mont to yourself. I understand, so don’t worry about it too much.”
“...I’m sorry, Lilith. I should have stayed with you longer.”
“Still, I’d like to know why you were swinging your sword out here. I’m sure you had a reason.”
“...I had a lot on my mind, and I was trying to clear my head.”
“Couldn’t you have done that in your room? You could’ve read or ditated or sothing.”
“...There was a release.”
“......?”
“I couldn’t stay calm in the room with you, Lilith. I couldn’t stop myself from... looking.”
...Well, I guess that makes sense.
Lilith’s body wasn’t exactly sothing a young man in his pri could easily ignore. Even I found it hard to resist, being naked in the sa room with him. I couldn’t bla him for needing so distance.
“So, you were swinging this wooden sword to cool off? You’re drenched in sweat.”
“Yeah... I guess I overdid it.”
“Why?”
“Well, I didn’t want to be all sweaty... Lilith’s body would sll like sweat too...”
“I can always wash it off, and sweat is the least of our worries in our relationship.”
“...I guess you’re right.”
“Besides, I was planning to wash up anyway.”
“Huh? Oh... right.”
I nodded at Ethan’s confused expression, then half-pulled him toward the great room. I wasn’t about to return to my freshly cleaned bed in these sweaty clothes.
⁎ ⁎ ⁎ ⁎ ⁎
—Splash.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa...”
Ethan and I gave ourselves a quick wash and then sank into the hot bath together.
As I lay back, the heat seeped into my body, easing the strange soreness I’d felt earlier in my muscles.
“Why don’t you join , Master Ethan?”
“Uh, yeah... sure.”
—Splash.
Ethan, freshly washed by my hands, slowly dipped his feet into the tub, his face still slightly shy.
He tried to ignore the hardening at the bottom, probably embarrassed by it. For so reason, his bashfulness today felt oddly out of place.
‘It feels like we’ve switched roles.’
Usually, after the first ti, the woman is supposed to be the shy one, while the man becos more confident. Why did it feel like Ethan and I were reversed?
It wasn’t as though Ethan didn’t know how to be assertive. In fact, I had found his boldness attractive when he first made his move. Maybe that’s why I was a little disappointed by his current hesitation.
‘Now that I think about it, Ethan has always been a bit off when he’s been overly assertive.’
Whether it was after a sneaky outing with Agnes, or when he was jealous about a warrior I barely knew, or when he’d drunk so questionable tea from that perfu shop... it was always during monts of raw emotion.
It seed that the more reserved Ethan was his truer self, and I was likely to see fewer outbursts of that kind now.
At least I didn’t have to worry about anyone else stealing my first ti—it had already been claid by Ethan. Not that I was suddenly developing a taste for constant physical intimacy.
At the very least, I wouldn’t have to endure those awkward monts anymore.
“I wonder if Ethan will ever be as forceful as he used to be... it’s kind of... a little disappointing.”
No, stop. What the hell are you thinking?
It’s good that he’s not overly aggressive. That’s not sothing to regret. What a ridiculous thought.
My mind had been racing ever since our first experience.
“Master Ethan?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you sitting so far away from ?”
“Uh, sorry... should I co over there?”
“How could I, a maid, call you over? I’ll co to you.”
“Wait, Lilith...”
—Splash.
I walked over to Ethan, who looked flustered, as if he didn’t know where to look. If he was going to panic like that, why sit so far away in the first place? His abrupt departure from the bedroom, his awkward behavior—it was starting to get on my nerves.
I’ll have to give him so pointers later. If he kept acting like this after our first night, even after proving his fidelity, he’d run out of excuses.
“Ethan, I’ve said it before, but you really shouldn’t act like a virgin after the first night. How do you think your wife would feel if she saw you so flustered?”
“...I’m sorry, Lilith. Are you disappointed?”
“I’m fine, Master Ethan. I’ve always known you had a bit of a soft spot for the old-fashioned ways, but if you behave like this after you’re married to soone else, it might be a problem.”
“Another woman...?”
“Marriage among nobles is about uniting families. If you don’t value your wife, it’ll inevitably lead to conflicts with her side of the family.”
“Conflicts with the family... Haha...”
Ethan looked at with a smile, as if he was amused by my concern.
“By the way, Ethan, you’re getting older. Why haven’t I heard about your engagent?”
Of course, I was known publicly as Ethan’s fiancée, or sothing along those lines. After all, the dormitory we shared was ant for engaged couples.
However, it wasn’t uncommon for nobles to have a fake fiancée while secretly pursuing soone else. It was a way to fend off improper proposals from other families—an unspoken ssage that said, “I already have a fiancée, so don’t get any ideas.”
I had received ten love letters a day after Ethan’s first public appearance, which was normal for a handso, talented nobleman. Once I began posing as his fiancée, the number dropped to about one letter a day, but the attention was still there.
I had wondered what Ethan’s plans were, but his answer had always been elusive.
“I appreciate your concern, but you don’t need to worry about that, Lilith.”
“What?”
“The disappointnt of another woman, conflicts with the family... none of that matters, Lilith.”
“...Oh. I see.”
Ethan clearly had his own thoughts on the matter. If he was keeping them to himself, there was probably a good reason. So, I didn’t press further.
Though, I couldn’t help but feel my composure waver just a little at the realization that I didn’t fully know his intentions.
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