Why did you co here? Do you not even rember what you said? I went away as you wished, but then why did you co to such a hideous place?
Hearing her words full of hostility that she couldnt hide, I realized that I had committed a really big mistake.
And her hostility aroused a sense of guilt in that was incomparable to the hostility I had faced on reaching this drawing room.
I knew Adilun was a more soft-hearted person than anyone else.
The image of her sacrificing herself even to save those who hated and rejected her was deep inside my heart, I already have a big empathy and respect for her, so for , she was the image of a rciful saintess.
When I listened to how Adilun spoke with such hurt, sorrow, and anger that she couldnt hide, I knew that what I said to her was not simple words for her, they damaged her pride and inner self.
I stared at her silently, and after that, I imdiately fell to my knees.
Forgiveness is not simply verbal, you can't get forgiveness always with words and for , it's a like a law that must be accompanied by the right action. Crushing soone who has been hurt simply to show off ones ego wasnt the thing I was after.
So I knelt down, and I saw Adilun with a puzzled look on her face, maybe she was surprised to see like this so she began to open her mouth as if she was at a loss for words.
Seeing her like that I spoke to her to break the silence.
Sorry.
But the only word that ca out of my mouth was that and I also did not think that she would accept this heartfelt apology.
A relationship that goes wrong with a word can last for decades, But, what I want now is for her to find so comfort in her heart through this apology.
For the abusive language and rude behavior towards the princess. I am on my knees right now and apologize. I know I was in wrong and I'm ready to accept any punishnt you give .
Could it be that my extrely polite attitude worked for her? because her expression softened for a mont, but she tried to tell with an angry look on her face.
How can I believe that? If youre acting like this because of an arranged marriage or your family pressure, if that's the case then quit right away. Because I have no intention of forgiving you.
Yes, Do not forgive .
Yeah?
I did not co here to ask for forgiveness. I just ca to apologize for the mistakes I made. forgiving or not is entirely the freedom of the princess.
I raised my head and spoke in a calm voice to her. Even if I was kicked out of the family, it didnt matter. Living alone wasnt such a big deal to anyway, since I was aware of the mories of my previous life.
With sincerity, I looked into her golden and sharp reptilian eyes. Eyes that instill fear in the viewer. However, I have no doubt that those are the eyes of a person who is more affectionate and kind than anyone else.
Adiluns eyes were full of bewildernt and confusion. But she tried to look away from and said.
Go back. I dont want to hear your story or any excuse anymore!!
Adilun called Sara, who was waiting outside the drawing room.
Yes, my lady.
Please drag him out.
A frost-like sentence fell upon .
* * *
Imdiately, I was kicked out of Caltix Castle by soldiers who looked happy.
-Dhudum!
The castle gate was firmly closed.
Now this is embarrassing
The chilly cold kept pounding my body, and on top of that I have a very weak body, so if I stay a little longer, Ill be in a dangerous state.
I was gazing at the gates of Caltix Castle while shivering from the cold. What should I do? How can I change her mind?
The worry didnt last long.
I knelt down slowly in front of the castle gate. As Im on my knees like that, everything Ive done up until now ran through my head.
For the past 20 years, I have not been able to attach affection to anyone. I quarreled with everyone I t, and curse words and harsh words always ca out of my mouth.
It was the sa with people who were kind to .
I was a deficient person from birth, And that deficiency was t by the absurdity of my awareness of my past life, and I was able to realize that everything I had done was wrong.
However, no one will believe when I realize all of that. It is already too late for the mistakes that have been made.
People do not change easily, and there is no one who easily believes in the words of reformation by a person whom his whole life was rude and bad to everyone.
But now I have co this far to undo my current mistakes, so I have to act. I have to apologize to others I have hurt, and I have to repent of my past actions.
I have no intention of denying the 20 years I have lived. At the ti, I have taken everything for granted, However, I had no intention of living like that in the future.
Everyone needed sothing valuable to survive, sothing they can work on or be proud of, and for , Ive been thinking of the wrong things as valuable; My pride, and my selfishness.
In other words, for everyone, I was a piece of excessive narcissism.
I abandon the values I have cherished so far and engrave new values within myself. I remove a part of the narcissism that engulfed .
I wont be able to do good to everyone as I did in my previous life. The traces of the 20 years Ive lived will reject the good I give indiscriminately.
However, at least I will be able to do it to the extent of limiting the range to those who are important to .
As the feeling of rebellion rises within , ugly selfishness and greed hover within too, because only I struggle to live for myself.
So I forcibly pressed them down and took that selfishness out of .
I engrave the values I have lived in my previous life, and I think of the little child who watched over at the end of my life.
I ruminate on the story of Adiluns struggle against all sorts of hardships and adversity, she was soone I admire, a kind dragon who did not give in to bitter hatred and pain and eventually saved even those who hated her.
A blizzard pours down, and the cold strikes as I contemplate my inner self, but I was vehently ignored. I couldnt give up on this process now.
My hands and feet freeze and snow begins to cover my body. Gradually, the exhaled lungs begin to freeze.
However, my mind was strangely clear. I kept my eyes open and continued my fight with myself.
* * *
A report ca in from the soldier who kicked Physis out of the gate.
Even though he was kicked out, he didnt leave, and he was staring at the castle gate on his knees in this severe winter.
So I climbed the castle and looked down at the citadel.
And I saw the look of a disgusting man.
He is a man who has spent his whole life in the warm East. I dont think he has the slightest resistance to the cold.
When he cant stand it, hell shake his butt and go back to his estate.
I have endured enough, A year was a ti when I have no choice but to get to know people even if I dont like them.
He was rude, selfish, and disgusting. Because he instilled disgust in , who had never hated anyone before.
I turned my head. I didnt even want to see him.
And I told Sarah. The mont that person returns to the territory, send the request for a breaking of the engagent.
Sarah told that she would do that.
* * *
My mind was clear and It was strange.
Even though my body was clearly not able to withstand this blizzard, my mind, strangely enough, was looking straight at myself.
Each strand of my hair was frozen, and my hands and feet had no sense of frostbite. Even though it wouldnt be strange to freeze to death right away, I continued to relieve the narcissism inside .
How much ti has passed? Finally, the selfishness and greed within began to give in. I could clearly feel that my selfishness was shrinking its territory.
Finally, the howling within stopped. The terrible selfishness had disappeared, and the flas of greed that had engulfed the inner world were quenched.
When Ive done all of that. My physical condition was not good.
The sound of the blizzard that seed to tear the eardrums stopped. The sll of winter that ca through my nose disappeared before I knew it. My vision gradually grew farther and farther, and I couldnt even tell what was in front of .
My tongue froze and I couldnt even make a sound.
My mind, which had been strangely clear, began to blur.
I felt a sensation I had never felt before.
Death.
It was a particularly fragile body. The body, which had no tolerance for the cold, could not survive the fierce winter.
As I was dying like that, soone approached .
My senses were dead and I couldnt feel anything, but I could tell that soone was strangely approaching .
I felt like I could figure out who that person was.
Adilun, it must be you.
A gentle, noble dragon. Are you unable to pass even the rogue boat that hurt you?
With the last of those thoughts, I lost my mind.
* * *
A night that was overshadowed by darkness. I heard a knock on my room door.
Miss.
It was Sarah, the maid.
What happened?
Would you like to co out for a while?
Out why? What the hell is going on
Following her guidance, I was astonished as I climbed to the top of Caltix Castle.
Physis, he was there.
With his whole body frozen, it wouldnt be strange if he died right away. his black hair had turned white from the accumulated snow, but his kneeling posture was still the sa.
The weather today was terribly cold, even for the people of Rodenov who are accustod to winter. If I had been on my knees in one place for at least ten hours in such weather with a blizzard I may have already died
he must not die No matter how repulsive he is, he is definitely Ortaires second son.
If he dies in a place like this, it will create an irreversible river between Ortaire and us, who must form an alliance.
And that would be a great thing for the central nobility.
Open the castle gate.
Yeah?
Quickly!
I exclaid urgently.
As soon as the gates opened, I quickly approached him. Like a foolish person!
I slowly approached him and checked his body. His face was pale, and snow covered his neck. Is that all? The hand was already discolored black, they were in such a dangerous state that it would have to be cut off if not treated quickly. I cant see it, but his feet are probably in the sa state.
The fortunate thing is that he is still alive.
The soldiers followed , and I quickly instructed them to move Physis.
I tried to lie him down on the bed, but I couldnt, his body was so stiff that I couldnt even lay him on the bed.
I urgently cast a spell to warm his body to change his posture even a little bit.
As soon as he lay down on the bed, I did my best to deploy my healing magic to the fullest, It removed the cold air remaining in the body and helped the activities of the organs that were on the verge of stopping.
The fortunate thing was that he had a strong will to live, Even though it would not be strange if he died right away, he was alive and not dead.
To the extent that it can be called a miracle.
Why are you even doing this? You should have just ignored and gone back as usual.
And if you had quietly accepted the divorce request, you wouldnt have had to suffer like this.
Is it because of an arranged marriage? To avoid breakup? It didnt seem like anything at all.
The man I saw was a thoroughly selfish man, to the point he cant find the slightest consideration for others.
Rather, I couldnt understand why a man who seed to want to break up his marriage more than anyone else acted like this.
Such a complex thought caught , and I ended up staying up all night with a confused mind.
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