Shihu has been acting strange lately.
Really strange.
When we’re not playing together, he always disappears sowhere.
And the drugs.
He gives drugs I don’t know where he got them from.
Sothing feels off, but Shihu says nothing’s wrong.
Every ti he smiles brightly, his face looks like he’s guilty.
I don’t really understand why he’s lost his smile.
It’s bedti.
I’ve been sleeping a lot lately.
It’s strange.
But Shihu says nothing’s wrong.
"Shihu?"
"Yeah?"
"Aren’t you going to sleep with ?"
"Ah, yeah..."
I wonder if I've grown a bit since we slept together.
I don’t even know why I’ve changed.
But I’ve grown taller, apparently.
It’s a phenonon I don’t understand.
I really don’t get it.
"Why?"
"I have sothing to do. Sleep well."
"Okay."
Shihu turns off the light and leaves.
Going outside again.
What’s he going to do?
Should I follow him?
"...Don’t follow ."
"Okay..."
I have to listen to Shihu.
I have to.
Otherwise, I feel like he’d be sad.
I pull the blanket over and bury myself deep in it.
There was a bandage that used to cover my scars and wounds.
But at so point, it's gone.
I don’t understand.
Did the drug heal it?
But Shihu said everything was fine, so it must be that.
"...This is weird."
I feel like a leftover piece of cake.
Ah, I want cake.
I’ve had it once before.
It was a piece of birthday cake soone gave when I was in the shelter.
It was so good that I said it was my birthday the next day to get more, but they said that was a lie.
Why?
It must’ve been soone’s birthday that day too.
I don’t know my own birthday.
Well, is there so law that says you can’t treat every day like your birthday?
I don’t even know how old I am.
I never did, but now I’ve lost track entirely.
I can’t rember.
I fall asleep halfway.
How long did I sleep?
"...It’s cold..."
Sothing’s definitely wrong.
I’m sure sothing’s wrong.
My body feels strange.
Ugh.
I kick off the blanket and get up.
"Why is this happening..."
I feel chills.
I was wrapped in a blanket, but I’m cold.
"Sh-Shihu?"
Where is he?
Has he not co back yet?
Creak.
I open the door and look outside.
It’s dark.
This isn’t the path I know.
I want to go to the shelter, but I don’t know the way.
I need the drug.
This is why Shihu gave the drug.
I pretended to swallow the pills because I didn’t want to take them.
Sothing’s wrong.
"Ah, the drug. The drug... where did I put it..."
Shihu brought the drug from sowhere, but I don’t know where.
I start searching the shelves one by one.
It’s strange.
This is my house, but it feels unfamiliar.
"Where did I put it...?"
I thought I might try singing a fun song, but I failed.
"This isn’t fun at all."
Normally, I wouldn’t wake up from sleep.
But here I am.
Why is this happening to ?
Ugh.
I hate this.
"Hmph."
I feel like there are bugs crawling on .
My body feels strange.
I crawl back into the blanket.
"Shihu, Shihu, Shihu? Shihu? Shihu."
He said everything was fine.
He said there were no problems.
Why?
I don’t get it.
I really don’t get it.
"-Seo Ah?"
It’s Shihu.
I can feel his breath, as though he’s rushed over.
I thought he would co when I called.
"Give the drug. It hurts. Is it a cold?"
"Ah, ah... yeah. I think so."
"I’m sorry. I didn’t want to take it, but next ti, I’ll take it properly."
"Ah... that’s okay. I’ll give it to you. The drug."
Shihu rummages through his pockets.
"Where have you been?"
"...A night walk."
"At this hour, not even sleeping?"
That’s a reasonable question.
A question I should have.
"I’m here."
But he doesn’t answer.
Why?
I don’t understand.
I didn’t ask anything I shouldn’t have.
Shihu pulls out the drug.
I swallow the pill without water.
It was really stupid to complain about how hard it was to swallow.
As ti passes, the feeling subsides.
Sleepiness returns.
Shihu looks uncomfortable.
"Sleep."
His attitude seems to be telling to get into the blanket quickly.
"...What about you?"
"I... still have things to do."
"Around here?"
"Yeah. I need to hurry."
"Why?"
"It’s important."
"Huh?"
"It’s important."
"Can’t you tell ? Stay with ."
"...You’re noisy..."
Huh?
What did he just say?
Shihu looks like he didn’t even realize what he just said.
"Sh-Shihu... I see. Sorry."
Well, I’m the one who called out his na so many tis in the middle of the night.
I’m the one who complained about not taking the pills.
I’m the one who kept asking questions.
Shihu must be really tired, and I’ve been selfish.
"Ah- no, that’s not what I ant..."
"I’m going to sleep now. You take care. Do your important work."
I crawl back into the blanket.
Shihu hesitates for a mont, then rushes out of the house again.
It really seems like he has sothing important to do.
He must be busy.
What could he be doing that makes him act like this?
I have no idea.
***
The next morning.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I searched for Shihu.
I found him right away.
Shihu was collapsed in the hallway, sleeping.
"Huh...? You’ll catch a cold if you sleep here."
No matter how much I nudged him, he wouldn’t wake up.
"Shihu?"
What had he been doing last night?
Sothing still feels off.
Is he out doing sothing by himself?
When he wakes up, I want to have a serious conversation with him.
I drag Shihu to where the blanket is, to move him.
How tired must he be to be like this?
I should just let him sleep.
His clothes are soaked.
"...Blood?"
I lift up his clothes, but I can’t see any wounds.
I roll up his sleeves, but there are no places where blood would have co from.
"Huh...?"
There’s sothing I’m missing.
I look carefully at Shihu’s arm.
There’s a strangely familiar mark.
Injection marks.
"Huh...?"
There are several of them.
Why did Shihu get injections?
Could it have been a vaccination or sothing? But that seems strange.
Then, maybe just needle marks? Maybe he got pricked sowhere?
That’s strange too.
It’s really strange.
I don’t understand at all.
I don’t understand.
I don’t understand.
I don’t understand.
I just can’t understand.
I hold Shihu’s hand, hoping that he’ll be okay.
He said he was fine, so it’s fine.
I’m fine.
But what if Shihu isn’t fine?
I’m scared.
I’m scared because Shihu told I was being loud.
I’m scared because it feels like more than half of my mories have evaporated.
"Shihu?"
He’s still breathing.
He seems really tired.
He looks like he ca back from a fight.
He looks like he barely made it ho.
"...Shihu?"
It feels like the world has twisted.
"Does it hurt a lot?"
He looks like it does.
There’s a lot of cold sweat.
It seems dangerous.
"Hey, I’ll go get the dicine."
I start searching through Shihu’s clothes, but I can’t find any dicine.
I check every storage space in the house.
But there’s nothing.
Except one place.
The one place Shihu told not to open.
The drawer at the very bottom.
I shouldn’t open it.
Is that a good enough reason not to open it?
I ask myself, but I don’t have the answer.
I feel like my head’s starting to get strange.
For Shihu’s sake!
Clunk.
It’s locked.
Hmm, did Shihu not trust ?
Clunk, clunk, clunk.
Even shaking it doesn’t open.
There must be sothing important inside.
It has to be.
It has to be.
Shihu said he was hurt.
A tool—people should use tools.
Soon, I found the right tool.
A kitchen knife.
Creak.
I jabbed at the drawer until the knife’s edge dulled, then twisted it into the keyhole.
At so point, it opens with a clink.
"It’s open."
But inside, there’s nothing but a strange scrap of paper.
Did Shihu organize this?
I pull out the scrap of paper.
"...Antipsychotic drugs? Uh... Delusions, hallucinations, thought disorders... Dosage..."
It looks like the instructions for the drugs.
At least I know it’s definitely not cold dicine.
I try to read more, but the writing’s smudged, probably because it got wet.
"Hmm..."
I drop the paper and decide to look for dicine elsewhere, but then I changed my mind.
After all, if there’s an instruction manual, that must an the drugs have been used at least once, right?
What kind of drug is this?
Antipsychotic drugs?
The word "psychosis" in there makes it creepy.
Was there so kind of ntal problem?
Who?
?
That’s impossible.
Then it must be Shihu.
No.
That’s also strange.
"On the back... related to mory loss..."
I read on.
"-Where did you get this?"
Shihu asks, his eyes still half-closed as he stirs awake.
Looks like he’s up now.
"I’m glad. I was looking for this in case you needed it. You’re okay, right?"
"Where did you get this?"
"Uh, over there..."
"I told you not to open it."
He looks angry.
"I thought you might need the dicine..."
"Hah."
He sighs, staring at the broken drawer and the kitchen knife lying next to it.
"Sorry...?"
It’s not like I did anything terribly wrong, right?
"Ah, my head’s killing ."
"Huh? Are you okay?"
Shihu almost never complains about pain.
If he’s saying sothing like this, he’s really in pain.
He definitely needs the dicine.
"Ah... damn. The penalty..."
His words are harsh.
What penalty?
What’s he been doing to get like this?
Did he catch a bad cold because he went out?
"Ah, the injections hurt, didn’t they?"
I say it, but even to , it sounds like a strange guess.
"...What?"
"Isn’t that from the injections? The marks on your arm."
I point to Shihu’s arm.
"Huh? Ah."
Only then does he notice his sleeve’s rolled up.
He looks flustered.
"Ah, yeah, sothing like that."
"Really? Where did you get it?"
"A hospital I know."
"A hospital...?"
There’s no hospital nearby.
The nearest one’s in the city, far away.
Shihu’s tone sounds strangely irritable.
Am I just imagining it?
Shihu’s acting strange.
"Does it hurt a lot?"
"Don’t worry about it. Don’t be concerned. I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling great. I’ll be fine soon."
"Okay..."
The mood has turned dark.
I was only trying to help Shihu.
Did I end up being no help at all?
This is the first ti sothing like this has happened.
This is the first ti Shihu has acted so strange.
If he’s in pain, where is it?
Could it be because of the drugs?
It doesn’t seem like the injection from a hospital.
I suddenly think of the appearance of drug addicts I’ve seen on the streets.
Drug addiction?
Could it be Shihu?
No.
That can’t be right.
Shihu’s too smart for sothing like that.
But... just in case, next ti Shihu goes out, I’ll secretly follow him.
I’m so curious about what he’s doing.
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