I am being raised.
[950 hours 26 minutes]
I can only say that.
It feels like I’m being cultivated by the doctor.
I feel very drowsy and comfortable.
But my mind is uneasy.
Sothing is screaming that I shouldn’t be like this.
“…I need more of the drug…”
Why is my pronunciation like this?
I’m done for.
I’ve been soaked.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I might as well leave it all to instinct and rest like this.
......
Rest?
What am I saying?
Am I going to keep resting like this?
How much has the drug eaten away at my brain to make think like this?
“Ugh…”
I’m done for.
There’s no going back from this.
I wonder if it doesn’t really matter anymore.
It’s definitely too late now.
I’m just going to...
Going to...
What’s going to happen?
That’s a question I have.
I’ve probably exceeded the lethal dose with the drugs I’ve taken today.
I rember them talking about half-lethal doses in the lab.
Anyway, I’m not dead.
So I can take more.
More.
The more, the better.
The drug must be good for my body.
Even if it’s bad for my body, it doesn’t matter.
After all, my life is already ruined.
As long as I feel good, that’s all that matters.
“Hu… he.”
I should try to do sothing.
What happened to all the plans I had set up?
I had intended to do sothing.
But I’ve forgotten everything.
This is why most of my mories have evaporated.
I was always passed out from drugs in the lab.
All the bad mories were blown away.
My mind feels uneasy, but I enjoy that tingling sensation typical of drugs.
I want to get up, but I don’t have the strength.
I don’t even know where I am.
“Drugs…”
“You took so five minutes ago.”
Did I?
Can’t I even wait that long anymore?
There’s no trace of self-control left.
No, in fact, there’s a reason.
There’s definitely a reason why I need to take all the drugs here.
What was it again?
It feels like my brain is lting.
I can’t rember.
It’s broken.
Still, just a little more.
I want to be happier.
“Still...”
I want more.
Give it to .
“[Give more.]”
“It seems like you’re managing to use the drug moderately.”
I don’t care.
It seems like nothing works with the doctor.
“Rather than a prescription, should I say it’s a similar word?”
I don’t know what that ans.
It doesn’t sound like sothing ant for to understand.
“The drugs are right here.”
- Thud.
It’s the drug.
[953 hours 1 minute]
The rising ti has noticeably decreased.
Once I surpassed 800 hours, ti stopped extending well.
Still, there should be plenty of drugs left.
“More. Please…”
The needle goes in again.
[955 hours 46 minutes]
This sensation of awakening in every nerve cell.
It’s not enough.
Still not enough.
Because the drugs are everywhere.
I’m going to use them all.
Ah, I rembered.
Why I need to use all the drugs.
There’s a reason I have to do it.
So it was this room.
The study.
Where the doctor reads complicated dical books.
I’m just lying on the carpeted floor.
In the bookshelf in the study, there’s a secret compartnt.
“Haah…”
If you push the bookshelf, there’s a space inside.
A space filled with lots of drugs.
I have to use them all.
I will use them all.
- There are a lot of drugs.
- Yes, I’m planning to distribute them to the people here.
- Distribute them?
I don’t understand why they want to give out the drugs.
I really don’t get it.
- Yes. It’s not the right ti yet, but...
- Why?
Why are they trying to scatter drugs?
If they’re talking about people from the slums where the factory is located,
are they going to give it to kids like Yula or Hyun?
Why?
That shouldn’t happen.
- Happiness grows the more you share it.
What the hell are you talking about?
I can be perfectly happy with just myself.
- Why?
- Of course, the people living here are not awakeners, but if they use the drugs, just for a mont…
- No.
I grab the doctor and speak.
- I’m going to use all the drugs myself.
So that’s how I ended up like this.
How much have I used?
100 doses?
No, maybe not that much.
If I keep going, won’t the stock eventually run out?
I can’t let anyone else use the drugs.
I won’t create more addicts.
That’s how it has to be.
Thinking back, the doctor didn’t charge for the first drugs he gave .
It was free.
He probably distributed them to many others besides .
So I...
“Haah.”
Drugs.
Drugs.
“More...”
I have to use everything.
Everything, even the portion for others.
- Thud.
“Ugh.”
[958 hours 24 minutes]
I’m so euphoric right now.
I feel like I’m losing it.
That ans I have no future.
But even without drugs, there was no future.
So it’s better to use all the drugs and leave.
That’s the best choice.
[958 hours 23 minutes]
To be honest, I don’t really care about that; I just want more drugs.
If I can stimulate the pleasure center, that’s all I need.
As long as the reward circuit keeps running, I’ll be fine.
Just using drugs is all that matters in the world.
It’s a relatively vast world.
Just a prick and I’m happy.
It’s sothing on a different level than the typical pleasure one can obtain.
Thud. Then pleasure.
It’s joyful.
I’m happy.
I’m blissful.
Thud. Then pleasure.
It’s joyful.
I’m happy.
I’m blissful.
An infinite loop.
While the pleasure licks my body, nothing else cos to mind.
Normal reasoning doesn’t apply.
Ethics and morals crumble.
As long as I feel good, that’s all that matters.
Soone once said,
the ultimate goal of life is happiness.
So maybe I have already achieved my goal.
“Ehehe…”
Honestly, saying I won’t let anyone else use drugs is an excuse.
If I really thought that, I would have used my abilities to smash the syringes and the vials.
So what?
If I’m going to break them anyway, it’s better to use as much as I can before smashing them.
I should conserve resources.
That’s the obvious thing to do.
But why is the doctor giving so many drugs?
He used to sell them for money.
I hope they’re not all on credit when I check later.
“More…”
They give everything I ask for.
There’s nothing I demand besides the drugs.
“Let’s stop here for today.”
Thud.
The doctor closes the book.
He doesn’t seem like he’s going to give any drugs.
[970 hours 39 minutes]
Why?
I can’t stop here.
“Drugs…”
“Can you get up?”
I’m completely relaxed.
But getting up should be doable.
“[I’ll get up...]”
I pushed myself up with my arm against the wall.
Sohow, I can do it.
“I’m up, so the drugs...”
Give more.
It’s already too late to stop.
If a vehicle running at 500 kiloters per hour cos to a sudden stop, the passengers inside could get hurt.
I think it’s not so easy to just cut off the drugs.
970 hours is a lot, but still.
“More...”
I need more.
---
I need more information.
I want to know when Seo Ah beca friends with Shihu.
And why they’re friends.
So I investigated.
I don’t only know Shihu at the academy.
There are many people who have benefited from the 'saint.'
So of them are academy students.
There’s no problem with extracting information from them.
But even that was so difficult that I had almost no information.
I think she might have briefly attended at so point, but there’s no one I know or have seen.
No one claiming to be in the sa class.
In the photo, they were in uniforms.
Academy uniforms.
While I doubted it was a manipulated photo, I eventually found soone who knew Seo Ah.
At least soone who had t her.
“Seol Hanjin?”
“Ah, is that you, Saint?”
Her striking white hair stands out.
She’s good
-looking, but not as good as Shihu, and has a sowhat delinquent-looking gaze.
“What... It’s been a while.”
It’s a café near the academy.
There aren’t many people around.
“So you’re looking for that girl Seo Ah?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“First off, she’s not at the academy right now. I looked into it because it seed really odd, but it seems like the academy is hiding her on purpose.”
“Tell everything you found out with your surveillance abilities. Then I can help with your treatnt.”
It’s a deal.
In exchange for information about Seo Ah, I offer treatnt.
My healing ability isn’t perfect, but it’s much closer to being effective than an average awakener’s.
“Yeah, well. Seo Ah and Shihu, both co from the slums. One of them is an ace without question. The other is a lunatic.”
That’s harsh.
“A lunatic?”
“Must be, right? She had that typical middle school syndro, running around with an eye patch. She was cute, but maybe that’s why Shihu liked her.”
“Liked? Shihu liked her?”
Did he like her?
Were they that close?
“I don’t know if it was in the past, but it seed like Shihu was protective of her. Later, he threatened that he’d kill anyone who tried to ss with her.”
“Hmm.”
That’s a new side of him.
I’ve never seen Shihu get so angry.
“Anything else you know… she went to so special class? Or sothing like that, and she disappeared one day. That’s about it. Once Shihu threatened to kill anyone who tried to monitor or touch her, it was too scary to do anything.”
“I guess he felt he had done sothing wrong.”
“I was just trying to look out for my junior, but it was misunderstood… Oh, speaking of.”
Sothing seems to co to mind.
“What else do you know?”
“Yeah. When she ca in, I heard she was stabbed. There was a witness. Wasn’t it a staff mber? It was soone responsible for transporting victims who told .”
“Stabbed? What’s that about...?”
“I don’t know either. That’s all I know. But why are you so curious? You seem to know a bit more than you let on.”
“Well, just.”
It’s for personal reasons.
No need to pry.
“So who is this person asking for treatnt?”
“It’s the teacher’s sister.”
“Eh?”
That’s an unusual choice.
Is there so backstory?
“There’s a teacher nad Lee Yuram, and I heard her sister’s condition isn’t good. I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to treat her while I have the chance.”
“Hmm, well. Yeah. So where is that sister?”
“Ah… that’s the thing.”
He hesitates.
“I can’t treat her if I don’t know where she is. If she cos to , I don’t care.”
“I think Shihu has her…”
“......What?”
I need to treat the teacher’s sister, but Shihu has her.
I see.
“Shihu has her?”
Why would Shihu have her?
I don’t understand what that ans.
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