Drugs.
Yes.
Drugs.
It feels good to use them. Makes happy.
There are different ways to feel happiness. I could lose myself in fantasies. Fantasies where I’m actually a happy person.
What if being trapped in this white room is just a dream, and in reality, I’m living happily at ho with my family? Playing outside with friends is fun. But when I dream, I end up trapped in this strange white room. It must be sothing like that.
---
I was playing. I was playing with my best friend. Happily. Just deciding what to play was fun.
It was an abandoned playground. The slide and swings were rusty, but we could still play on them.
---
In the next mont, my arm was shattered. It wasn’t a playground anymore but a strange operating room. They said they were conducting an experint. They injected drugs, claiming it was to asure my recovery. Drugs.
---
And then I was back at the playground. Playing. It was just a disturbing nightmare, nothing more.
We were each other’s only friend, the only ones we could rely on. So, it was good to be together.
I didn’t know what the future held, but as long as we were together, everything felt fine. The future looked bright.
---
Then, in the next mont, everything went dark. What did they do to my eyes? I could only endure, despite my frustration. There was nothing I could do. And then, after a while, they injected drugs again.
---
Then the playground reappeared. I kept having bad dreams, and it was putting in a bad mood. So, I complained to my friend.
"I had a bad dream."
"It’s alright. It’s just a dream."
They comforted . That’s right. It was just a dream.
---
But I still couldn’t see. It felt like sothing was burning. I heard them say they needed a different drug.
I wished they’d get it right already. Whatever it was. Give more drugs.
---
And then I was back at the playground again. The sky looked beautiful at dusk from the playground. Even the ruins of collapsing buildings looked lovely.
No one lived here, and no one cared for it. The population had dwindled, and those who survived had moved to the city. But there were still people here.
A fence with a sign read, "Children are the future." Before it beca a ruin, there had been a small elentary school here.
"If we’re the future, then we’re the future, aren’t we?"
"We are?"
"Yeah."
What kind of future would that be? Were we hoping for a good future? Soday, we’d grow up and beco soone amazing.
---
My vision started to co back. I shouted, asking why they were pouring raw concentrate into my eyes. I didn’t know what the concentrate was, but it must’ve been drugs. Was it drugs, not tears, that were streaming down?
---
I was talking to my friend again. Peaceful, everyday conversation.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Hmm."
I thought hard. What should I be?
"Soone who helps others… sothing like that."
That was my answer. I had learned that helping others was a good thing. When I grew up, I wanted to be a kind person who helped others. A good person.
---
So, was I helping people by being here? They said that through these experints, I could help people. That I could save many. That this was aningful work.
---
I had to be a good kid. Then adults would like .
Look, there’s a reason we can’t live in the city. Adults don’t like us. Our parents, relatives, and everyone else abandoned us. You too, right?
"Soday, when I’m better…"
Better. That day would co. At the very least, I wouldn’t be a burden to others. I wouldn’t hold anyone back.
"Maybe…"
I would beco soone remarkable. A good person.
"Maybe then my parents will recognize and co back."
I knew. They were dead. They’d all died, leaving here alone after a monster raid.
"If I beco really, really amazing, maybe they’ll co find ."
But you never know. They must be dead. But maybe not. Maybe my family survived.
---
Maybe they didn’t die after all. Just like I hadn’t died.
"A valuable test subject. Keep her secured."
I was useful. I was helping others. I was doing sothing valuable.
Then, one day, people would recognize . My family would co back for because I was a good kid. I wasn’t a burden. I didn’t get in anyone’s way. Don’t abandon . Can’t we stay together?
---
The sun was setting at the playground now. Still, it was comforting to have family. I was so lucky to have a friend who felt like family.
"Where are you?"
I was looking for my friend. We were playing hide-and-seek. We agreed only to hide near the playground, but they were nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, where are you?"
I couldn’t find them. Where had they gone?
"Sniff..."
I kept searching, but I couldn’t find them. I started to cry. I was scared.
"I’m here, I’m here. Sorry."
This was why we didn’t play hide-and-seek often. I’d cry if I felt even a little worried. Then again, with just the two of us, it wasn’t the best ga to play. I didn’t like the feeling of being abandoned.
I didn’t want anyone to leave . I hated seeing people I was close to walk away. I hated it when people I knew turned their backs on .
---
At least I wasn’t abandoned. I was a useful test subject. Maybe I couldn’t be much else, but at least I was useful. That’s a aningful life, isn’t it?
By the ti I beca an adult, I’d be a truly good person. Really. What kind of person would I be when I grew up?
I’d live in a nice house with my family. I’d be very happy. Maybe I’d have lots of friends too.
---
I was starting to wonder what that friend’s na was. That close friend I’d played with at the playground.
But I couldn’t rember any nas. I’d forgotten them all. I didn’t know why.
"Well, I…"
My friend began to speak, with a look of determination.
"I want to help people too."
"Really."
You want to be a good person too. Just like .
"And I’ll protect everyone."
Protect? I didn’t know what that ant. It seed like a huge responsibility. Could they really do it?
"Will you protect too?"
Protecting everyone. That would include .
"Yeah."
"Wow."
---
"Ah… aaah…"
My legs wouldn’t move. My legs.
"They should heal in about three hours."
My legs wouldn’t move. They wouldn’t move. It hurt—sothing was wrong.
In three hours, I’d be fine. It felt like ages had passed. I looked at the clock—two hours and fifty-nine minutes left. Ti dragged on. Still fifty-nine minutes to go. Now, it really felt like an eternity. Fifty-nine minutes. Still?
But I was a good person. Sacrifice? Is that what this is? I’m sacrificing myself to achieve sothing? That’s good, right?
"Hehe, hee, haha..."
Yes! It’s a good thing!
"Are you… alright?"
"I’ve always been this way."
I’m a good kid, right? I’ve beco a good kid, haven’t I? Everyone likes , don’t they?
You won’t abandon , right? You’ll protect , won’t you?
Drugs, more drugs. Just a little more.
---
And then I found them. The drugs were indeed in the lab, just like Researcher A had said.
The lab was on the fourth floor, large enough to hold even massive monsters.
"Aha."
I leaned against the window, looking down at the scene outside. People were fighting. Most of the monsters had already been subdued.
One Awakened fighter stood out, eliminating the monsters. The light they emitted in the middle of the night was hard to miss. A hero. A protagonist.
That person… my friend.
The view from the lab felt even more special. It was a vast space.
Last ti, I’d been the one on the examination table. But this ti, it was different. It wasn’t lying on the floor this ti.
And thanks to that, I’d managed to get a lot of drugs.
Thud.
[345 hours 16 minutes]
Clang.
The syringe fell to the floor. I rembered the happy mories as they resurfaced. There were bad mories too, but that couldn’t be helped.
I’d wanted to be a good person. But they said they were going to dispose of . Throw into the incinerator.
I was only giving back what I’d received. They wouldn’t have lasted thirty seconds.
I still didn’t understand. I was doing good, wasn’t I? This was supposed to be good work. Why didn’t they praise ? Why did they try to throw away?
A sparkle.
Through the window, a light flashed again. Wow, a star. I’d wanted to look at the stars.
Thud.
[353 hours 53 minutes]
I rembered that I’d planned to go star-gazing with my friend. I’d probably see stars from the rooftop. But looking alone would feel lonely.
A few more flashes of light, and the monsters collapsed. It didn’t seem like my friend was alone. The beams of light from afar were probably spells cast
by allies.
Impressive. It was a beautiful scene from a distance. I didn’t want to get any closer.
Soon, the monsters would be completely contained. There were more people being rescued than fleeing. I could see people entering the lab building.
A faint thumping echoed. Soone was climbing the building.
"This is the rescue team. You’re safe now!"
That’s what they said.
"What… what could have done this… there might still be monsters inside. Stay alert."
Voices echoed from the hallway. They were almost at my location.
Thud.
"Sigh."
I felt good.
[361 hours 13 minutes]
I’d used up all the drugs in this room. There was less than I’d expected.
Bang!
The door was flung open as the rescue team entered. Five ard people. They looked horrified at the sight inside the lab. The room was filled with the bodies of both monsters and humans.
I was the only one left alive. They spotted .
"Please save ."
I smiled as I spoke.
They’d co to save . Who else could they be here for?
I was lucky soone had co to rescue , even now.
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