Episode 60
“If you think it’s obvious, why are you asking? It’s sothing that can be confird without even asking. “Do you think you’ll feel it only if you hear it from my mouth?”
Jaeyoung just listened to Seunghyeon in silence. Seunghyeon continued his words without even having ti to think about what the silence ant.
“Everyone seems to think that I am a work-crazy, inhumane monster, but I don’t like that kind of life. So you left everything behind and ca out. I just hate being involved in troubleso things, and even if it’s not that, I don’t want to get involved with other people. “No matter what answer you want, this is my answer.”
To anyone else, they would have given up on the conversation without even thinking about clearing things up, regardless of whether they misunderstood it or not. It was none of his business whether he thought of himself as a monster or a cold-blooded or wretched idiot without blood or tears.
That was why I gave up on talking with Taesung early on. In any case, in a year at most, he would realize what he was worrying about.
“… So don’t worry. “I have no intention of causing any harm to Seonhoo Lee.”
But it was different for Jaeyoung. Seunghyun sighed after finishing his long talk. He probably won’t believe it either. He didn’t say it thinking he would believe it.
Still, I wanted to talk. Even if the story is aningless to the listener, wouldn’t it be aningful to the person telling it? Rather than finishing without putting in any effort, I wanted to pour it out at least like this.
Part of might still be looking forward to it. If Jaeyoung is special to Jaeyoung just as Jaeyoung is to her, then she might give a different answer than other people.
‘That’s a stupid idea.’
Seunghyun thought that and smiled slightly. I was fortunate that Jaeyoung couldn’t see my face right now. If his face had been shown, he wouldn’t have been dismissed as a really strange person.
―… I didn’t ask that with that intention. I am… .
I could sense caution in Jaeyoung’s tone of voice. What should I say, no matter what answer I get, it will be the starting point. Even though he was thinking that, Seunghyeon could not give up any hope and hung up the phone.
―… Are you at ho?
Jaeyoung asked. Seunghyun didn’t answer, and he didn’t even hang up the phone, just staring at the screen where the call was connected.
Actually, I was scared of what kind of answer I would get. Although she thought it was natural to get a bad answer, she hoped that the answer she thought would not co back.
How long has it been like that? Before she knew it, a single tear quietly flowed down her cheek and down her chin.
The phone wasn’t disconnected yet, but no words ca through. Seunghyun stared at the considerably longer call ti and hung up.
Was I taking this new life, which had a limited duration, too lightly? If this was going to be the case, it would have been better to die all at once. Seunghyun thought that and wiped away his tears.
However, sadness does not disappear easily once it bursts, and the tears continued to flow silently.
“… … ?”
At that ti, I heard the sound of a door opening from a little distance away. No one is coming. Embarrassed, Seunghyun got up, opened the door, and ca out.
“… … .”
When I opened the door, I saw Jaeyoung with a slightly red face, as if he had co running. The tears that I couldn’t wipe away fell to the floor.
“Why are you crying?”
“… I don’t know either. Why are you crying? .”
Seunghyun was embarrassed and rubbed his still wet cheek. Well, he knew about it and took it for granted, so why was he so sad?
“Do not cry. Because Han Seung-hyun cried… “I don’t know what to do.”
Jaeyoung took a step towards Seunghyeon. Seunghyeon asked, dropping his head.
“why. “I’m the type of person who wouldn’t do that, but is it different from what I knew?”
“… I don’t know much about Han Seung-hyun. “I don’t think I know much.”
Seunghyeon was shocked by Jaeyoung’s words. The slightly trembling voice made Seunghyeon unable to move.
“With just a little experience, I could tell that he was different from the rumors. I am… I don’t know much about Han Seung-hyun. So I wanted to hear it for myself.”
“If it’s about Seonhoo Lee… .”
“I didn’t ask because I was worried about the future. I never thought the day would co in my life where I would say sothing like this… “It’s been a while since I thought about the pros and cons.”
Seunghyun slowly raised his head and made eye contact with Jaeyoung. His shaky eyes showed that he wasn’t lying.
It was the face of a person who was embarrassed, with his sincerity leaking out without even having ti to express it.
“I’m more concerned about Han Seung-hyun’s work than the election leader. “To the point where the things I thought about before and after felt like a long ti ago, or rather, I couldn’t even rember them back then.”
“… … .”
“I asked Seunghyun Han because I wanted to hear it directly. “I didn’t ask to argue or get angry.”
“… that word.”
Seunghyun was a little upset and bit his lip weakly. I wanted to place my hopes on Jaeyoung, who asked about myself, as if he would understand everything.
“It sounds like you will believe no matter what I say.”
Jaeyoung stiffened a little at Seunghyeon’s words. The mont Seunghyun was about to take a step away from him, perhaps thinking that his expectations were too much, Jaeyoung pulled Seunghyun towards him.
“Do not cry. When Han Seung-hyun cries… “I don’t know what I can do for you.”
Was I crying again? Seunghyun blinked his eyes while being held in Jaeyoung’s arms. A large hand began patting Seunghyeon’s back as if to comfort him.
“It’s not that you don’t know what to do?”
“… Sothing, sothing… “I want to do it, but I don’t know what I can do for Han Seung-hyun.”
Seunghyun chuckled at the slightly strange remark. Jaeyoung wasn’t relieved by that smile and hugged Seunghyeon tighter, as if he was disappearing.
“I believe it. “No matter what Seunghyun Han says.”
“… … !”
This ti, Seunghyeon froze at the words that followed. It was sothing I wanted to hear, but thought I would never hear.
“If things were the sa now, I would probably believe it if I told you that I made ju with red beans. It’s strange even when I think about it… . “Really, it is.”
“… … .”
“Is there anyone who knows better than how aningless rumors are? No, is that too arrogant?”
Seunghyun slowly shook his head. There are many people who know ‘Han Seung-hyun’, but the only person who knows the current Seung-hyeon is Jae-young. Jaeyoung continued his story without noticing that small movent.
“I ca because I wanted to believe, because I wanted to believe whatever was said. I know I don’t deserve this. Because I’m not Han Seung-hyun’s friend or anything. still… .”
The hand that was patting my back stopped. Jaeyoung, who had no idea what to say, spoke in an uncertain voice.
“I may be nothing more than a sexual partner to Seunghyun Han, but I love Seunghyun Han…” .”
“It’s not possible.”
Seunghyeon hurriedly raised his head and interrupted Jaeyoung. He knew even if he didn’t hear it, but he still couldn’t hear these words.
If you listen to those words, you won’t be able to pretend not to know anymore, and you won’t be able to hold on to Jaeyoung.
No matter how much he thought about it, even if he thought it was a selfish decision, Seunghyun still liked Jaeyoung and needed him.
How can you not love this warm embrace that cos running to you with just a sagging voice and tells you that it will believe anything I say even in situations that are difficult to understand?
However, saying I love you was bound to be a sentence that marked the end of this relationship. Seunghyeon shook his head desperately and said.
“Just don’t say that. please.”
Any other person would probably be sick of his unfriendly attitude without even giving a reason, but Jaeyoung has already moved away from normal thinking.
A lot of my leisure ti and belief that everything will work out have disappeared, but there is one thing. It was clear that I didn’t want to let go of this relationship.
“… All right.”
Jaeyoung nodded without saying any more. She wondered why she was so scared that she desperately refused to hear the words I love her, but she couldn’t ask if just by not saying those words would allow her to be around.
‘But rather than feeling anxious alone, it would be better if you shared at least a little of your anxiety.’
I didn’t want to make him nervous because he was just scared right now. I wanted to be by his side, even if it ant digging into that gap.
It would have been nice to be called by a na I didn’t expect, rather than by the na I wanted.
“I won’t tell you. “If Mr. Han Seung-hyun tells not to talk about it, he will not talk about it for the rest of his life.”
“… … .”
“So stop crying. “I will get excited again.”
The two were ultimately the sa, unable to properly express their anxiety or push each other away. Even after Seunghyeon’s tremors subsided, Jaeyoung held him in his arms and comforted him.
The evening was going like this for two people who had the sa feelings and anxiety, but ultimately could not fully understand each other.
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