“Gaaahh! That’s good! Hey, bring so snacks over here!”
At Findenai’s call, a mber of the Scrapyard Nomads promptly ca over with the prepared snacks.
The at on the plate wasn’t about elegant plating—rather, it made its statent with its overwhelming portions and bold appearance.
“I only grilled the best cuts with utmost care! This side is rare, and this side is dium...”
“at is just at.”
She said as she grabbed the fork, dug into the plate, picked several pieces and took a large bite.
Watching the carefully grilled at get lumped together, the Scrapyard Nomads mber’s expression turned sour.
“P-please, enjoy.”
However, unable to voice his complaints to Findenai under my gaze, the Scrapyard Nomads mber retreated in resignation, walking backwards.
Chewing her food, Findenai remarked nonchalantly.
“If I hadn’t done that, he would’ve started with how to eat it properly and ended with where the cow was raised.”
Was this her way of handling things?
“You know him well.”
“Well, it’s because those fools feel like family to .”
Grinning, she took a swig of beer and then glanced at with a smirk.
“Don’t be jealous; you’re family too.”
“I do not rember accepting you as my family mber, though.”
“Findenai Verdi. Honestly, it doesn’t really suit , but I’ll bear with it.”
Not wanting to respond, I took another sip of my drink. I was already feeling a little tipsy, but this was where it stopped.
No matter how much I drank, I was never the type to get completely drunk.
Be it Deus or Kim Shinwoo.
“What are your thoughts about Goben?”
Gazing at the mountain range, I asked. Findenai crossed one leg over her thigh before responding.
“I didn’t tell you this before, but Deia had dig up everything I could about that guy. He’s not kind, but he’s lived a pretty ordinary life.”
I knew Deia would investigate his background. After all, she always dug for information others tried to keep hidden in cases like this.
But I was not asking about that.
“I am asking what your instinct says.”
Considering she essentially had a sixth sense, I wanted her take on the situation.
As she pondered, I took another sip.
“He’s just a small fry. Gets pushed around here and there. Then, by chance, he learned about Illuania and Sevia, and found a purpose in life, didn’t he?”
She glanced back at .
Looking down at the beer bottle in silence, I replied.
“Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“Hmm?”
“Findenai, a person’s transformation is often brought about by seemingly trivial monts.”
If we delved a little deeper, surprisingly, people often missed the timing to change themselves.
“The mont they are ready to embrace it—timing is everything.”
“...”
“A wise saying we already knew, the sermons we hear every weekend at the chapel, or advice from a senior coworker—we may normally find them tedious, but when heard at the right ti, they can beco milestones that change lives.”
Wasn’t it a wonderful world?
Books allowed us to vicariously experience the arduous lives of great people and savor the words they left behind.
Great individuals grew, gained insight, and transford through specific turning points.
“Illuania and Sevia’s presence provided Goben with a great opportunity to change.”
“Well, yeah. He was just living each day diligently, and then suddenly gained a goal in the form of a wife and daughter. Though whether they’re truly related by blood is another matter entirely.”
A life full of passion but without purpose finally found its direction.
Goben had arrived in Norseweden at just the right ti.
“It is not that I am not worried at all. I am honestly anxious.”
“...”
“But I want to believe. For Illuania and Sevia’s sake.”
Please.
This sumr, I earnestly hoped that the untily gift from Santa Claus would reach the father and daughter.
“Well, Illuania can handle it. She’s a capable woman after all, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, that is true.”
Shifting from the sowhat heavy topic, having already finished the first one, she sat down after grabbing another beer, and said.
“Our Master Bastard also went through a pretty dramatic change, didn’t you?”
“...I will not deny that.”
Her tone was playful, but the matter wasn’t. Beneath the light-hearted words, the truth behind Findenai’s sincerity was spilling out.
“A guy who used to guide souls coldly now mingles with people, is trying to find emotions, and even shows consideration.”
Pop!
She flicked her finger to open the new beer but didn’t bring it to her lips.
“Are you still confused?”
Her gaze wasn’t fixed on but on the mountain range, as if intrigued by the sight.
“Do you really still not know what love is?”
“Findenai.”
“Hmm, Master Bastard.”
Setting the beer down slowly, she finally t her gaze with mine.
The ever-present madness in her crimson eyes had quietly turned into sorrow.
“Do you know why you’re so confused?”
This ti, Findenai’s superhuman intuition was directed at .
“It’s because, without realizing it, you’ve co to hold multiple won in your heart.”
“...”
“However, since your rationality can’t accept it, you’re denying it, calling it anything but love. Trying to filter it out. But it doesn’t work. Because, in the end, they’re all similar feelings.”
Hearing that, it felt like I was sucker punched in the chest at that mont.
Then Deia ca to mind.
She was a rational and capable person. So, I assud she could handle her emotions well. But now I saw how foolish that assumption was.
Thinking back, I realized that I, too, was nothing more than a duelist fighting emotions with reason.
I’ll be blunt. Choose .”
“...”
“I’m not joking. I an it. I need you more than you think, Master Bastard.”
I could see her pupils trembling.
The re thought that I had sohow turned soone so confident into this vulnerable state left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Didn’t that bitch Erica say sothing crazy back then? Let’s find a way for everyone to be happy? What a load of crap!”
She suddenly stood and strode toward .
Now standing before , Findenai yelled with an utterly twisted expression.
“How is that even possible? Huh? Every ti you even get close to another bitch, I feel like cracking their head open! Damn it, I just want to destroy everything and run away with you!”
“Findenai.”
“Don’t say my na, you bastard! You’re the one who made like this!”
Her trembling voice, soaked in emotion, washed over like waves. Bitterness lingered on my tongue.
“Do you have any idea what I felt during the ti you were gone? During these past few months? Do you know how agonizing it was to even think that you might, just might, have died?”
I had nothing to say.
In the end, I was the sinner here—the worst kind of trash, stirring up her emotions despite claiming not to understand them.
Whether it was intentional or not didn’t matter. The result had turned out like this.
“I am sorry.”
Hearing my apology, Findenai snorted and replied.
“You’ve got a lot of people you need to apologize to. Starting with those ghost bitches who cling to you every day, your fiancée, your student, even the princess! I bet they’ve all been waiting, suffering the sa burning agony as !”
With a sigh, Findenai let out a hot breath. Wiping away the tears that had gathered at the corners of her crimson eyes, she spoke as if confessing.
“Yes, they probably... suffered the sa pain as .”
“...”
“It’s pitiful, in a way. And it feels like nothing more than the inevitable fate that awaits all of us soday.”
In the end, soone had to be chosen.
Slowly, but surely, the cruel choice was looming over , pressing tightly—not only cruel to them but also to myself.
“I’ll say this in advance.”
Looking down at as I sat, Findenai declared firmly.
“Just choose one. Damn it, I absolutely cannot bear to watch you rolling around in bed with another bitch. Either cast away or accept —just one or the other.”
I tried to answer.
To say I understood.
To promise that I would.
But before I could, Findenai knelt before and collapsed into my arms.
“But...”
She couldn’t hold back.
Her anger had surged to its limit.
“If you, sohow, decide to embrace multiple won at the sa ti...”
With utter disbelief, she let out a bitter laugh from within my embrace.
As she slowly raised her head, I could see her face was tinged with the bitterness of defeat.
“Damn it, you better brace yourself for that night.”
“...”
“I’ll make sure to kill you with the skills Illuania taught . They say there are people who use handcuffs and whips for this kind of thing, you know.”
A faint smile crept onto Findenai’s lips, though it was far from a pleasant one.
“Findenai.”
“Master Bastard, do you know how much I hate this? I can’t stand the thought of so other bitch biting and sucking you. It drives insane.”
Cutting off, she continued to pour out her feelings.
“But I’ve lost.”
“...”
“Ah, I’ve lost so badly, that even if I see you rolling around with another bitch, I still won’t be able to let go of your hand.”
I must love you so much.
The last words she muttered quietly slipped away with the sudden breeze, hiding them from anyone’s ears.
However, they unfortunately reached mine.
“Can I make one request?”
“What is it?”
Still nestled in my chest, Findenai whispered softly, ensuring no one else could hear her.
“Kiss .”
Was I allowed to do that in this state, when I was yet to decide on an answer?
Nurous doubts crossed my mind.
“Stop overthinking it and just act on your feelings, damn it! They say n think with their damn dicks, but this bastard, you are just...”
“...”
“Do it.”
Gently, I held her shoulders and lowering my head so no one else would see it, I kissed her briefly.
“It’s sweet... damn it.”
A radiant smile, like a blooming flower, spread across Findenai’s face.
Seeing that.
Ridiculously enough.
I couldn’t hold back.
Peck.
I touched her lips once more.
“Huh...?”
Avoiding Findenai’s startled gaze, I awkwardly tried to hide my embarrassnt.
“I just wanted to act on my feelings for once.”
***A week went by.
As we finished preparing to leave Norseweden, Goben returned right on ti, driving his carriage back to the estate.
Watching him pass through the estate gates with the carriage, I spoke to Findenai, who was standing beside .
“I told you, did I not? Change often cos about dramatically when the timing aligns.”
“Huh? Yes, you did. And?”
Findenai replied indifferently.
However, my eyes remained fixed on the coachman.
“But the important thing is...”
Yes, I hadn’t voiced it at that ti because it felt ominous.
The most important thing, actually.
“You can never be certain if that change is the right one.”
A feeling of utter despair washed over .
If I believed in a god, I would have surely cried out in protest.
[Huh?]
[Ah...]
Even the Dark Spiritualist and Stella standing behind gasped, as no one but the three of us could see it.
The countless dead clinging to Goben and the carriage he was driving.
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