I am three days old and I can already talk.
My mother turned her head at .
She will be shocked. I know. I asked her to give that boobie to after all.
But I forgot again...
"Coming right up." She was an idiot.
She didn't find it surprising at all.
"I was afraid you were angry at since you didn't talk to at all for two whole days." She said, coming towards . She had so very wrong preconceptions about newborns.
"Sofia told a baby begins talking after ten hours of their birth."
Mother, you should leave that goblin. She is an assassin hired to make you dumber. I am sure of it.
My mother fed for twenty minutes this ti as my goblin grandma told her to and then she went to do so other work.
She only cooks inside the hut and all the other things, like washing clothes or bathing, she does them outside the house.
Anyway, I have so more skills that I can use but most of them are only efficiently usable after I grow up.
There are only a few skills that I can use in this newborn state of mine.
Anyhow, I slept after drinking the milk but I woke up to so strange sounds happening inside the hut.
There is only one bed in this hut and both my father and mother sleep on it, while I stay in the middle of them.
I was afraid that the strange sounds were made by my parents so I didn't open my eyes in order to not spoil my childhood. But the sounds kept coming and I began to understand that my parents had nothing to do with these sounds.
So I opened my eyes and saw a black silhouette standing at the door of the hut.
A thief?
The silhouette moved and it was searching around the hut. It looked under the bed, inside the only cupboard we have.
Now I was sure it was a thief. But what was a thief doing here? Can't he see this is a hut? Go to so mansion or sothing, man. Robbing this house is just practice for you. You won't find anything here. Heck, if I could I would have gotten up and searched with you for so money myself.
Nevertheless, we are already poor enough. I can't let anyone steal whatever less we have. But how should I stop this thief? I can cry but he might run away before anyone can catch him. I guess I have to use so of my skills.
But he is too far away for to do sothing. He has to co closer. What to do? Just kidding. I know what to do. It's ti to use a Skill.
[ Aphrodisiac Breath : The breath you exhale will make anyone co closer to you. ]
This one will help here.
I exhaled a mouthful of breath and it would be enough. I don't want the whole neighborhood to barge in my house because of my breath.
The breath worked on the thief as he stopped searching inside the cupboard and walked towards . I waited for him to reach just near my aim.
He now stood in front of like an easy target.
But target for what? What do I want to do? Well, I have one more Skill.
[ Acid Rain. ]
What does it do?
Well, in short, what it does is...
I removed the makeshift diaper my grandma made for and then I aid my real life dildo at the thief.
Without waiting, I pissed at the thief.
And mind you, that was no normal piss, with the use of my skill...
I piss acid.
Fuck the logic. My piss is acid.
It fell right on the thief and his body lted under my golden droplets.
That was my first kill in this World. I would have been called stupid among the Mcs if I hadn't killed anyone in the start.
The thief died and I finally stopped my water gun.
I wore the diaper again and drifted to sleep. No one would feel bad for the thief as he was just here to give a chance to show my skill.
The next day. I woke up as usual.
My mother first noticed the pile of ashes near the bed and she panicked.
I was afraid she would get worried seeing death in her house. And she did get worried.
"Who brought so much dust in my house? I get tired of cleaning and you add more to my work."
Worried for so other reason, that is. She mistook ashes as just so other type of dirt and scolded my dad. I was afraid for nothing.
"I did nothing, dear. But I will clean it for you."
My father also didn't recognize the ashes and cleaned it with a broom. Welp, sorry, thief.
But I think my parents haven't seen too much of the world. Otherwise, no one is that stupid. I have to know their history and other things. But I can't do that right now. I am just a baby. As a baby, the only thing I can do right now is...
"I have decided a na for myself." I said.
"Oh. What is it?" My mother and father both asked. They don't consider talking like this abnormal.
Anyway, I have to make the na clear first.
"I will be Racis T. Like it or not. I will only have this na."
"As you wish, my son. What does Racis an though?" My father asked.
"I don't know. I am just a baby."
"Haha. Yes. How could you know."
My parents laughed, not knowing I already surpassed a normal three days old baby. It's good they are idiots. I don't want to explain the aning of my na, mostly because it has no aning at all. My last na was Tate and grandma had so funny thought to give Racis as my first na.
Anyway, that's enough childhood. I am also tired of this. Let's skip eighteen years and get to the average age of Mcs over the world.
Eighteen years later.
Now for a cliffhanger, well, I can't think of anything.
But don't you think, the real cliffhangers are the friends that we made along the way?
No? Fine. Take this then...
Now I am eighteen years old and right now...
I am on the stage for my first ever stand up show in this World.
But this ti I won't use the sa your mom joke. It has been overused. I an, this joke has been used so many tis and by so many people, just like...
Your Mom.
Reviews
All reviews (0)