All the prisoners were inside the house.
So were in the hall, so were standing on the sofa like it was a sinking ship, so hung from the railings like depressed bats, and so adjusted themselves in the stairs as if they were part of the interior design.
Basically, the house looked like a discount zoo that ran out of cages.
The back door was locked too, so yeah — no one was escaping this clown fiesta.
Sexis had placed candles everywhere, turning the darkness into sothing even creepier. The whole vibe scread "Satanic Airbnb."
Everything was visible now, which ant it was ti for us to talk before soone started licking the walls out of boredom.
, Erect, Sexis, and Ghost Jack were standing in the bathroom — the only place that didn't sll like soone's moral failure.
As their lord, I got personal space. The others got... trauma.
Erect and Sexis hadn't seen Jack yet. They'd only seen his dead body once, swinging from the chandelier like a sad Christmas ornant in Sexis' mom's house.
Anyway, it was ti for so deep talk before reality realized we existed.
"Erect, tell what happened after you died," I asked.
Erect wasted no ti.
"I rember Malthus killing for good but for so reason, I opened my eyes in the prison, and I believed it was only one day. But when I asked the prisoners around , they all told that I have been asleep for three months. I wasn't sure what to do after that, so I waited for you, my lord. Also, I had no idea that you were in the prison as well. Neither did I know about Sexis. So with nothing to do, I worried about my sister for all the ti I stayed in the prison.
I only hoped you would co to my rescue as I had no power to escape my cell because that monster Jailer was constantly making his rounds, keeping an eye on everyone. He had also seen but wasn't able to recognise . Otherwise, if he had known that I am the one who fought against Malthus with your side, he would have surely sent to Malthus. Thank you for saving , my lord."
Erect bowed. I patted his shoulder like a proud dad who knows his kid's still dumb but ans well.
"You did good. Supre Man saved all three of us. Then he vanished like a hero who realized this plotline was too stupid to survive."
Erect smiled and nodded. Respect.
Then I turned to Sexis, standing on my left like a man who'd seen things the human eye shouldn't.
"Now, Sexis. Your turn. What did you go through?"
Sexis trembled. "I went through hell, Racis."
I frowned. "What happened? I'm guessing you also woke up in the prison. Did the prisoners…"
"Yes!" Sexis shouted like a man about to deliver a confession no one asked for.
My brows shot up. "Don't tell … did the prisoners—"
We exchanged glances, both bracing for impact.
"Yes, Racis. The prisoners…"
I gulped.
And we both shouted:
"Raped you?"
"They did nothing to at all!"
...
"What?" I blinked.
Sexis cried, "They did nothing to at all!"
"…Isn't that a good thing?"
"What are you talking about, Racis?! It's a prison! Things are supposed to happen! I tried so hard to make them do things! I slept with my back facing them—perfectly angled! And yet, none of them ca to ! None!"
He scread like a man who failed an exam he cheated on.
"Not doing such a thing in prison is a CRI!" Sexis roared. "They should be ashad! You can't call yourself a prisoner if you can't even sexually harass correctly!"
My brows twitched so hard they almost filed for leave.
The prisoners stared at him like he was an unsolvable riddle.
Then, one prisoner raised his hand.
I pointed at him. "Yeah, go ahead, pervert number forty-two."
"Hero King," he said proudly, "My na is Diddier, and I used to oversee the molestation of prisoners in the first level."
Dude, why are you telling that like it's a recognised job? And I won't even start at your na.
"So?" I asked.
Diddier looked at Sexis with a face that scread PTSD.
"When the Alien King arrived in the prison, he was in my cell. Asleep for three months. During that ti, many prisoners tried to get a taste, but I stopped them. Told them it's not fun without the noises."
He said it so casually I wanted to disinfect my ears.
"Of course, we knew who he was—the Alien who fought beside you. So I hid him from the Jailer. I was basically his guardian angel, if angels had criminal records."
He took a breath. "Then, after three months, the Alien King woke up. Everyone started bidding for him. But since I protected him, I got first dibs."
This man was narrating his own downfall.
"So one night, I made my move. Pants down, heart full of evil, dreams full of filth. Every prisoner watched. I crept closer… and what I saw—" Diddier's voice cracked— "it killed the entire mood."
He shuddered. "This Alien King… was masturbating while reading a dictionary. A fucking dictionary."
The entire house fell silent.
Even the candles flickered like, "Bro, what the hell?"
Diddier continued, voice trembling with disgust.
"It spoiled everything. The man was moaning over word definitions. From that day, no one wanted him. He killed all our desires with his… educational enlightennt."
He glared at Sexis. "You lost all your rizz because of your jizz for your dictionary. That's why, Hero King, no one touched him."
Diddier dropped his imaginary mic and went silent. But who taught him the words rizz and jizz?
Anyway, I looked at Erect. He shook his head, the universal gesture for 'I'm not dealing with this shit.' I also wanted to nope out of existence, but I was the Hero King. I had to stay.
Sexis just stood there, tears in his eyes, as if soone had burned his pride with a thesaurus.
Diddier had disrespected him in ways language itself couldn't fix.
"Don't cry, Sexis. He didn't an to disrespect you," I said.
"No, Racis. I'm not crying because he disrespected ."
I frowned. "Then?"
"I'm crying because…"
Sexis sniffled like a man who just realized his porn folder got deleted. Then he shot his head back, staring at the ceiling like he was trying to contact God on dial-up internet.
"If I hadn't listened to my urges and left the dictionary alone…" his voice cracked like cheap glass, "I could've experienced true prison life! The full package! The deluxe trauma edition!"
I regretted asking. It felt like looking into Pandora's box and finding out it's just full of your friend's search history who likes furry.
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