[ I wish your parents were serious too that night. Their one night fcuk result is now about fcuk this world. ]
I see. Welp...
Ouch.
That one burned but it’s not the first ti I heard my insult.
I still rember that man who insulted when I was just driving my rcedes with utmost passion. I figured he must be jealous so I didn’t pay that much mind to his insult and continued playing GTA.
Anyway, I ignored the system and focused on the mission.
Jack was hovering in front of like a sage who found nirvana but doesn’t know it’s just a MLM sche, he was half a feet above the floor with his legs crossed.
And now that he was also escaping the prison with , I have to clear out so things like a woman deciding alimony before the divorce.
"You can’t go more than five ters away from your dead body. Is that right?"
"Yes."
"So to take you with , your body needs to be moved along as well?"
"Yes. That’s the way. Just like you show candy to make a kid walk to your house. That’s only logical."
"... I don’t do all this, bro. What is wrong with you? You are dead so you won’t face a thing but I am alive!"
"Right. Sorry for that. I shouldn’t spread false accusations. You don’t use candies for that."
"... Forget it. You said I have to take your dead body with . But it is dirty right now. It stinks. Moving your dead body might be logical but it’s definitely not hygienic. If I touched it, dermatologists would beco millionaires treating ."
"I don’t care. You agreed to take . You can’t go back on your words. You have to take my dead body with you."
"I know. And I won’t go back on my words. I just have to think of sothing that could make not hesitate to touch your body."
"You can remove its clothes. Then perhaps you won’t hesitate to touch it?"
"... The only hesitation it would remove is my hesitation to go back on my words. So no."
"I see. Then you think of a way yourself."
I sighed and rested my head on the wall.
I don’t want to touch the dead body because it stinks like the diaper I found in a dustbin along with the child. Just focus on the diaper part.
So the problem isn’t the dead body. It’s the stench.
And the solution to the stench would only be...
[ Yes. You are thinking in the right direction. The only way to remove the stench is... ]
The system made confident of my answer. He and I both shared the only way to remove the stench at the sa ti. And it was to...
’Hold my breath as long as the body is near .’
[ Giving it a bath. ]
’... Yeah. That could work too.’
[ That’s the only way it could work! Why do you always think sothing entirely different and don’t you dare say that you always think out of the box. The only thing out of the box for you is the prize of the best MC. ]
’My idea wasn’t bad though.’
[ Yes. It wasn’t bad. It was a masterplan... for suicide. Like a group of thieves planning to rob a bank every month by working in it till retirent not realizing that they are just doing a job and their monthly loot is just their salary!
That’s how bad your plan was. How long could you have held your breath? This prison has ten levels and if you are taking Jack with you then his body would stay with you till the end. You would have to hold your breath for ten levels. You’re not the Hero King now. You don’t have the unlimited breathing Skill anymore. ]
’I get it. I get it. I’ll go with your plan now. Jack is going to take a bath.’
I stood up from the floor.
Jack did the sa.
"I hope you are not against having a bath?" I asked.
Jack shrugged. "My body is dead anyway. I can’t go inside it. So you can do whatever you want with it. Whatever you want."
"Don’t emphasize the sa word. I just want to get out of here. Nothing else."
"Sure. Give it a bath. Make sure to be gentle around the balls. I am sensitive there."
"... I am not going to give you a nuru massage bath, man. Don’t share your preferences."
I shook my head and turned to the dark corner and shivers ran down my spine.
I still rember the sound of those never getting bored with only one dead body flies and that expired viagra-like stench of flesh. I don’t even want to touch the body to give it a bath.
But I am a man of my word. Jack had lived alone in this cell for so many years so I will make sure he sees the sun for the first ti in a while.
[ You are only taking him out because he gave you that won’s asurent offer. Don’t act benevolent now. You don’t give a fuck about his loneliness. ]
’Geez. You talk bullshit. Are you one of those who fail on the first day of NNN and then preach how masturbation is healthy and why everyone should do it?’
[ I don’t even have parts required for masturbating! And no, shut the fuck up. Focus on the work. ]
Sure.
I looked at Jack.
"First, let’s bring your body out from the corner. I haven’t even seen what it looks like."
I held my breath and walked towards the corner.
I felt Jack’s shoes with my feet and stopped walking. I had reached near his legs.
Then I bent down and—
"Jack, float in front of first. I don’t want to take any risks. You are not allowed to stand behind as long as I live."
"Sure."
Jack adjusted his pants and now floated in front of .
Wait... Why was he adjusting his pants? Welp, I don’t want to know. I am just glad I called him in the front on ti.
I know he can’t touch but fucking hell, he could still make feel so sensations. And I know a bad touch when I feel one.
After making sure Jack was really in front of , I bent down and held his dead body’s feet.
And just as I did that, I saw everything I had done in my both lives.
My body rembered Malthus’ punch, the backlash of God of War skill, the deed I did with my landlord because I wasn’t able to pay rent, the fine I paid to a lingerie showroom for mistaking their saleswoman as a mannequin, and the beating I received from a group of parents just because I asked their kids to test a perfu I made out of chloroform.
My nose cried from the stench. It cried like a man at his wife’s funeral because she turned out to be alive.
My hands hurt by the feet of the flies as if they were wearing high heels.
My eardrums turned to flutes of an asthma patient by the buzzing of insects.
All of this happened even when I was holding my breath!
Nevertheless, now that I have faced torture anyway, might as well finish the job.
I summoned strength and began dragging the body.
The goal was to place it in the center of the cell where the light from the fire torch was in the most amount.
I dragged it like a feminist drags the topic of equal pay and in three minutes, I finally managed to bring it to light at the center of the cell.
But damn, now I know how much strength I have lost. I had gotten all that strength easily that’s why I never cared for it. My arms are literally buzzing as if I lifted a strong independent woman who thinks MMA is the rival of KFC.
But this weakness, that’s pathetic for a MC.
After placing the body in the center, I slumped on the floor like a man who ca after work and saw no food on the table because his wife is too woke to make food, and only after catching my breath, did I pay attention to Jack’s dead body.
He wore the sa type of clothes, brown coat, brown shirt, brown pants, brown shoes. His hair was the sa, his beard was the sa.
Everything was okay.
Yes.
Nothing was wrong.
Everything matched between Jack’s dead body and Jack’s ghost appearance.
There was no problem.
But...
If there was no problem, then it wouldn’t look like my life, right?
So...
What I saw made question reality.
Jack’s dead body...
On the chest of Jack’s dead body...
What I am trying to say is...
The ghost, Jack Mihoff, had boobs the size of bowls on his chest!
And the worst part...
The bastard had three of them with one being in the Middle!
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