Bai Yue stood in the center of the camp clearing, her hands on her hips, looking at a large, dented iron cauldron with the intensity of a general surveying a battlefield.
"Listen up!" she announced. "We are going to solve the ’swamp-mud’ problem once and for all. Today, we invent soap!"
The reaction from her audience was mixed.
Ruì Xuě and Yòu Lín, who were currently trying to braid each other’s tails, looked up with wide, curious eyes. "Soap?" Ruì Xuě tilted his head. "Is it edible? Does it taste like berries?"
"No, little snowflake," Bai Yue cooed, patting his head. "It makes you sll like flowers instead of dirt. And it gets rid of the itchiness."
"I am not itchy!" Hóng Yè protested from where he was sharpening a stick, though he secretly scratched his arm. "But.....I suppose cleanliness is important for a warrior."
Yàn Shū adjusted his glasses, looking intrigued. "A cleansing agent derived from fats and lye? The ancient texts ntion sothing similar, but the formula was lost centuries ago. This is fascinating!"
Zhāo Yàn, lounging on a log with nine tails fanned out behind him like a peacock, smirked. "So, you want us to beco your servants again, little female? Fetching ingredients for your magical mud-pies?"
"Not mud-pies, Fox Lord," Bai Yue corrected, pointing a wooden spoon at him. "Science. And yes, you are fetching. Han Shān! I need snow. Pure, clean snow. Not the dirty stuff from the ground."
Han Shān, who had been silently chopping wood stopped imdiately. He dropped his axe, nodded once with stoic seriousness, and vanished into the treeline.
Eh? That was easier than she thought it would be.
About thirty minutes later, he returned.
He wasn’t carrying a bucket of snow. He was dragging an entire glacier.
Well, okay, maybe not an entire glacier, but it was a block of ice roughly the size of a small house that he had apparently ripped off a nearby mountain peak. He dropped it with a earth-shaking THUD that sent the cubs bouncing into the air.
"This is pure," Han Shān grunted, wiping sweat from his brow, looking imnsely proud of himself. "No dirt. No contaminants."
Bai Yue stared at the massive block of ice, then at the tiny cauldron. "Han Shān.....I said a bucket of snow. Not the North Pole."
"You said pure," he defended, crossing his arms defensively, his ears twitching slightly pink. "This is the purest."
"Okay, okay, good job," Bai Yue laughed nervously, chipping off a manageable chunk. "Zhāo Yàn! I need flowers. Sothing sweet-slling. Lavender, maybe? Or chamomile? Nothing toxic!"
Zhāo Yàn stretched lazily. "Sweet slls? For my mate? Naturally."
He blurred into motion, returning monts later with a handful of exotic, glowing purple orchids. They pulsed with a faint light and emitted a scent that was so thick and sweet it made Bai Yue’s nose twitch.
"These are Moon-Whisper Orchids," Zhāo Yàn purred, handing them over. "Rare. Found only in the deepest, most secluded valleys. They are said to.....enhance the senses of those nearby. Very potent."
Bai Yue paused, sniffing the flower. It slled amazing, like vanilla and honey, but also made her heart beat a little faster. "Enhance senses? Is that code for ’hallucinogenic’?"
"Nonsense," Zhāo Yàn waved a hand dismissively. "They are just very fragrant. Perfect for you."
"Fine," Bai Yue muttered, tossing the flowers into the pot before she could overthink it. "Yàn Shū! You are on mixing duty. Stir gently while I render the fat."
Yàn Shū stepped forward eagerly, taking the long wooden paddle. As the fat lted and the lye (made from ash Hóng Yè had carefully sifted) bubbled, the scholar began to recite softly.
"Oh, bubbling cauldron, vessel of change,
Where grease and ash in dance arrange.
From filth to purity, a transformation bright,
Guided by her hand, our beacon of light."
"You are very poetic today, Uncle Yan Shu!" Yòu Lín giggled, watching the mixture turn a creamy white.
"It is a noble endeavor, my son," Yàn Shū smiled, still stirring.
As the mixture thickened, Bai Yue poured it into hollowed-out gourds to set. "Alright, everyone stand back. It needs to cool and harden. In a few hours, we’ll have the first bars of Beast World Soap!"
~
Four hours later, disaster struck.
Bai Yue had just unmolded the first bar. It was a lovely pale lavender color, smooth and firm. She held it up triumphantly. "Behold! The future of hygiene!"
She took a deep breath to sll it.
Whoosh.
The scent hit her like a physical wave. It wasn’t just sweet anymore. It was heavy. It was intoxicating. It slled like pure, concentrated mate.
Her brain fuzzyed instantly. Her knees went weak. A strange, warm flush spread from her chest to her cheeks.
"Oh wow," she breathed, her voice sounding oddly breathless even to her own ears. "That slls.....really good."
Suddenly, three pairs of eyes locked onto the soap bar.
Han Shān, who had been sitting quietly nding a fur, froze. His nostrils flared wide. A growl started in his chest, vibrating the ground beneath him.
Zhāo Yàn, who had been napping, snapped awake. His nine tails puffed out to triple their normal size, standing straight up like bottle brushes. He let out a sharp hiss.
Yàn Shū dropped his book. His face turned the color of a ripe tomato, and steam practically shot out of his red panda ears. "I... I feel... unusually warm," he squeaked, fanning himself frantically with his tail.
"What did you put in that?" Han Shān growled, standing up. He took a step toward Bai Yue.
"I only used the flowers Zhāo Yàn brought!" Bai Yue backed away, clutching the soap to her chest like a shield.
Zhāo Yàn lunged forward, ignoring the soap entirely and focusing on Bai Yue. "Moon-Whisper Orchids," he rasped, his voice dropping an octave. "I may have forgotten to ntion they are traditionally used in mating rituals to.....accelerate bonding. My apologies, little mate. I thought you knew."
"You thought I knew?!" Bai Yue shrieked, backing into the cooking station. "You brought aphrodisiac flowers into a soap recipe?!"
"It seed efficient!" Zhāo Yàn argued, cornering her against the stone hearth. His tails were already wrapping around her ankles. "Now we can skip this phase entirely!"
"Unhand her!" Han Shān roared, shoving Zhāo Yàn aside with enough force to send the fox tumbling into the dirt. The Snow Leopard imdiately took his place, looming over Bai Yue, his breathing ragged. "She is mine. The scent... it calls to the Alpha. I must protect her from.....from the overwhelming urge to mate right here in the dirt!"
"She is my mate too!" Yàn Shū cried out, surprisingly bold despite his shaking hands. He rushed forward, grabbing Bai Yue’s other arm. "And I wrote a poem about her! That counts for sothing! We must.....we must conduct further research! Imdiately!"
"Papa! Uncle Han! Uncle Zhao!" Ruì Xuě shouted, running into the middle of the fray. He looked confused, sniffing the air. "Why do you all sll like hot rocks? And why is Mama hiding behind the soap?"
Yòu Lín tugged on Han Shān’s leg. "Papa, are you going to eat Mama? Because if you are, can I have the soap? It slls yummy!"
"No one is eating anyone!" Bai Yue yelled. "Everyone calm down! It’s just pheromones! It will wear off!"
"It is not wearing off!" Han Shān snarled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck, inhaling deeply. "It is getting stronger! Your scent.....it is driving mad, Bai Yue. I cannot think. I only want to..."
"To what?!" Bai Yue squeaked, pushing his massive chest.
"To claim you," Zhāo Yàn purred, slithering up on her other side, his tails forming a fluffy cage around them both. "Right here. In front of the cubs. It would be very traditional."
"TRADITIONAL?!" Bai Yue scread. "It’s indecent! And there are children present!"
The cubs, however, seed unfazed by the sexual tension radiating off the three Alphas.
Hóng Yè sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Great Spirit, give strength. First the mice, now this." He grabbed Ruì Xuě and Yòu Lín by their scruffs. "Co on, you two. We are going to go play ’Hide the Stick’ very far away from here. Maybe in the next valley."
"But I want to see Papa claim Mama!" Yòu Lín whined.
"NO YOU DON’T!" Hóng Yè dragged them away, covering their eyes with his hands. "So things a cub does not need to see before puberty!"
Back at the soap station, the situation was deteriorating rapidly.
Han Shān and Zhāo Yàn were now literally growling at each other over Bai Yue’s left shoulder, while Yàn Shū was trying to recite a very shaky, very passionate poem about "union" and "eternal spring" directly into her right ear.
"Move, Fox!" Han Shān snapped.
"Make , Cat!" Zhāo Yàn hissed.
"Gentlen, please!" Yàn Shū pleaded, tears in his eyes. "There is enough love for all! We can share the soap! We can share everything!"
Bai Yue realized she had about ten seconds before these three powerful beastn tore each other apart, or worse, decided to compromise by mating with her simultaneously in the middle of the camp.
She looked at the bar of soap in her hand. The source of all this chaos.
With a desperate cry, she wound up and chucked the soap bar as hard as she could into the dense forest.
"FETCH!" she scread.
The effect was instantaneous.
The three Alphas froze. Their heads snapped toward the trajectory of the flying soap. Their nostrils flared in unison, tracking the fading scent.
"The soap!" Han Shān roared.
"My precious scent!" Zhāo Yàn yelped.
"Our bonding agent!" Yàn Shū cried.
All three husbands launched themselves into the trees after the soap, crashing through branches, knocking over logs, and disappearing into the jungle in a cloud of dust and desperate howls.
"MINE!"
"NO, MINE!"
"WAIT FOR !"
Silence fell over the camp.
Bai Yue leaned against the cooking station, sliding down until she hit the ground, panting heavily. Her heart was still racing, her face was still burning, but the imdiate danger was gone.
She looked around. The camp was empty, save for the bubbling cauldron and the scattered grooming tools.
"Well," she muttered to herself, wiping sweat from her forehead. "That was a successful product launch."
She glanced at the remaining batch of unset soap in the gourds.
"Note to self," she whispered, picking up a stick and aggressively poking the fire. "Next ti: Unscented. Definitely unscented. Or maybe... lemon? Do lemons exist here? Please let lemons exist."
From deep in the forest, a distant, triumphant roar echoed.
"I FOUND IT! IT IS MINE!" (That was Zhāo Yàn).
"GIVE IT HERE!" (That was Han Shān).
"Let us examine it scientifically!" (That was Yàn Shū).
Bai Yue buried her face in her hands and groaned.
"I am never making soap again."
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