It was a few days after my spar with Nova in front of just about everybody that a bit of chaos crept into Goblinho. Or, rather, was led directly to the clearing outside by Magpie. An eight-person adventuring party had co to deliver the supplies I had asked the Great Protector for so ti ago. Having been an Adventurer myself, even if only for a short while, I could say with assurance that the party which had arrived was beyond unusual.
I had been upstairs at the ti of their arrival, having spent the night with all of my orc war-brides, taking care of their… needs. Stella had been the one to co and fetch , since both she and I were forr adventurers and knew how to handle things diplomatically, if need be.
What awaited out in the field was a curiously large party of eight. One tall human, one short dark-skinned dwarf, and six kobolds each with differently colored scaly exterior. The human was a male, the dwarf a female, and while not discernable to by appearance, my dick was pretty sure every one of those kobolds were not only female, but also in heat.
“Hello!” the human male called out to . “My na is Cobi and I’ve been asked by a mutual acquaintance to deliver so goods to a man nad Ark within the Night Forest. Would that happen be you?”
“That’s . Should be a delivery of seeds, correct?”
“Among other things. Is there a place you’d like to unload them at? There is quite a lot of… luggage.”
“Yeah, the upper cave entrance is where our local guild is. You can all rest up there for the mont. I’ll have so food and drinks brought up there in a mont. Do your kobold companions prefer their at cooked or raw?”
The six kobolds all looked at each other and nodded.
“Not rotten at?” A lithe, white-scaled kobold asked in broken human tongue, speaking for the rest.
“Freshly hunted, I assure you.”
“We eat. Humie not eat raw at. Need throw his on fire.”
“We also have plenty of options for cooked at as well. I personally recomnd the hamburger with ketchup.”
“Alright, I’ll have one of those, then.” The human man said, offering a thumbs up before jerking it in the direction of the dwarf, who from lack of a beard I had to assu was a female. “So will she.”
Stella offered to keep them company while I headed to lon’s Kitchen to ask her for a quick favor. I also secured two jars of drinks—only one of them fernted—and so cups, which I brought up with in advance, along with a few other goblins. Prima (ard with Gob-dent), Vera, and Crow.
The party of adventurers were sitting at one of the long tables I had made together with Stella. Orga Lush was also present, probably keeping an eye on things since the second floor was still occupied by only orcs.
I placed the jars and cups on the table and let them know which one was the swill, and which one wasn’t. Only the human nad Cobi went for the non-alcoholic red water. It was codic to see the white and black kobolds quickly get into an argunt over who got to fill their cup first.
“Nymfi get first cup since leader!” the white one growled.
“No! Nymfi always say that then drink whole cup before rest get first cup, then say need fill cup again two tis!” the black one protested.
“Not Nymfi fault other kobolds pour slow!”
“Not other kobolds fault Nymfi not know how enjoy tasty drink slow!”
While that was going on, I took a mont to perform so necessary introductions.
“You said your na was Cobi, right?”
“Yes. I’m the Porter for the all-kobold Breath of Fire party.”
“Uh…”
He held a finger to his lips. Sohow, I got the impression that this guy’s situation wasn’t all that different from mine.
“…right. My na is Ark and I guess I’m the Guild Master for our local branch of the Goblin’s Guild. Next to here is our strongest hunter as well as our leader, Prima. Her sister and also our Vice Guild Master, Vera. And this is our Head of Security and Logistics for Goblinho, Crow. The young goblin who escorted you in is her daughter, Magpie.”
Cobi nodded and gestured at the Kobolds.
“The white is Nymfi, the party leader. The black is Trixie, red is Mandy, blue is Gno, green is Silky, and Gold is Boggie.”
I noticed he left out naming the dwarf. When my eyes fell upon her, she shrugged.
“I’m Dara.”
“Pleased to et you.”
“Should hope so. I ca all this way t’be your wife.”
“Uh… co again?”
“Ca t’be your wife. S’why I ca along with this lot. Was told I’d get m’own mine here in exchange f’r marryin’.”
“And… who exactly told you that?”
She imdiately reached into a pocket, pulling out a rolled-up piece of paper and handing it over to . I imdiately unfurled it, reading out loud what was written.
“The Lord of the Night Forest is looking for strong unmarried non-human woman willing to relocate to the Night Forest to establish both marriage and mining operations with local human magician in managent of an untapped mountain. All anities provided free of charge. Possible riches to be found beyond your wildest dreams! Contact Cobi with the Breath of Fire party if interested and be prepared to travel imdiately.”
I lifted my head from the paper to spare a glance at Cobi.
“This is the shadiest thing I’ve ever seen. How was this allowed to be posted…?”
Cobi nodded.
“That’s how it is with our acquaintance. You’ll get used to things like this happening all the ti if you aren’t already.”
“That’s the part that bothers . How quickly I already have…”
We both laughed.
I was curious to know how the man ca to know the Great Protector, but if he was anything like , that wasn’t sothing he’d want to divulge out of sha. Instead, after downing his cup of the non-alcoholic drink I had brought, he got right to opening up the massive backpack he had been carrying.
“I was told to bring as many different types of seeds as I could get my hands on, as well as anything relevant to farming. I also took the liberty of picking up so fruits and vegetables that wouldn’t rot quickly as well as so other things you may need…”
The sheer amount of things that he pulled out of his massive backpack defied the laws of physical storage. It was like watching a zip file being extracted in front of in real ti with no computer in sight. Dozens of pouches full of seeds, bags of things like potatoes and carrots, apples and oranges, cucumbers and so mushrooms for Truffle to cultivate! A large box containing enough iron ingots that should have torn a hole in the bottom of the backpack from weight alone by itself. Things like casks of vegetable oil, butter, tal pans and cutlery… it was insane.
“Cobi. Was this all paid for by…?”
“Yep. Handed a pouch full of gold coins and said to not spare any expense.”
“Crazy… how do you fit it all inside there?”
“Trade secret, I’m afraid.”
“Magic bag?”
“Nope. Let’s just say I’m really good at organizing things.”
I didn’t sense any magic at all coming from the bag, so I was left with no other choice than to believe him.
“Don’t f’rget m’tools!” Dara said having finally managed to get a cup of Berry’s blue water poured for herself.
lon had arrived around this ti with Button, Ebony, and Mint in tow carrying the promised food for our guests. Two plates stacked with steaming hot hamburgers drizzled with ketchup for Cobi and Dara, and a large stone platter full of de-boned raw at that turned my stomach just from looking for the Kobolds.
“Slls good!”
“No see rot!”
“No see skin either!”
“Still bloody!”
“Hope it taste as good as look!”
“Cobi food also look good!”
The Kobolds began shoving handfuls of at into their maws, making moaning noises as they chomped away at the freshly uncooked at. I told Cobi and Dara it was fine to use the cutlery that had just been unpacked for the occasion. It was better than anything we had around here to offer them to use.
Dara took a sniff of her hamburger before cutting off a piece and eating it.
“What is it made from? Don’t reckon it’s cow.” She asked .
I asked lon who said it was from a many-horns brought in yesterday by Orchid, Lilac and Primrose who they took along to teach how to hunt.
“Deer.” I replied.
“Huh. Don’t taste the gay flavor at all.”
“What can I say… our adorable chef here, lon, is talented when it cos to food.”
“Adorable?” Dara spoke, wrinkling her entire brow in the process.
“Don’t mind Ark. He’s a goblin-fucker, so his sense of beauty is skewed.” Stella non-chalantly interjected. “Prefers his won naked, barefoot, and pregnant as often as possible.”
Orga Lush snorted in rapid fire.
“Just let know if… snooort… I’m wearing too many clothes for you, War Chief. It is the sumr season, and I wouldn’t mind being a little less sweaty and make you happy in the process.”
“I’m fine, Orga. Really.”
While I endured so mild humiliation from the lips of Stella, I watched as Cobi dug into his plate of stacked hamburgers, eating with the most respectable manners out of the entire group. Living in Goblinho has almost made forget entirely what table manners were. Were I not to have made a dining table at the beginning of my capture here I probably would have beco a lawless caveman by now.
“Husband. Who is the human? Are we getting a new Husband?” Ebony had asked in Gob while everyone was eating.
“I don’t think so, Ebony. He’s an adventurer like Stella and I used to be. He’s just doing a quest from a different guild and ca to deliver a few things to us that we needed.”
“Oh. That’s good. Having two people I have to call Husband would be confusing.”
“You can always call daddy, you know?”
“But you’re Ebony’s Husband. Mint’s too.” Ebony replied assuredly.
“And lon’s.” lon added quickly.
Mint gave a strained look, as if she was staring at a ghost. I don’t imagine the trauma she suffered watching beco the Monster will be leaving her anyti soon.
“Oh~ that good food. Nymfi satisfied. Huuurp!”
“Gruuu~ Gno feel sleepy now that belly full.”
“Hic… Good drink make Trixie body feel good good warm…”
“Silky want to know recipe for goblin drink… so can make better later…”
“Mandy ready to sleep now. Cobi take care of everything else.”
“Boggie… also take nap.”
The six Kobolds had gotten up from the table, found an open space, and just fell into a pile together.
“Ark, I don’t suppose you can put us up for a couple of nights?” Cobi asked after swallowing another bite of his food. “We traveled here quickly under a series of haste spells cast by Mandy, and the girls, while energetic… could use a rest after that.”
“Not a problem. Are they okay sharing a spacious room, or should I make individual caves for everyone?”
“A single spacious room is fine. No point in putting them in individual ones since they will inevitably end up crashing in whichever one I’m in. They’re… rather possessive when it cos to .”
I could feel the latent harem protagonist energy coming from the man.
“I understand completely. Orga Lush, mind if these guests share the sa floor as you and the other orcs for the next couple of days?”
“If that’s what the War Chief desires.”
“Thanks for your understanding. Crow… can you and Vera take care of inventorying the things Cobi has brought us? Ebony, Mint… can you help bring the fruits and vegetables here to lon’s kitchen? Daddy’s going to be helping make dinner later on tonight!”
Both Crow and Vera agreed and quickly got to work, enlisting Prima to help carry the heavier items. lon pulled rank as the older sister hearing that I was going to be working together with her in the kitchen, so she didn’t spare the love and encouraged Ebony and Mint to do most of the heavy lifting otherwise they wouldn’t be enjoying any hamburgers anyti soon.
I felt that a little bit of sibling bullying was fine. All part of the joys of having a big family.
Besides, lon is a sweet goblin who will definitely reward them later for their hard work now. I’ve said it before, and it remains the truth; Goblins don’t mind working hard if it is for the sake of being lazy later.
“Looks like I have a lot to get started on, so we’ll tackle the tilling and planting tomorrow.”
I stared at the pile of Kobolds, then Cobi, then Stella and her delicious breasts for a ntal energy boost, and then at Dara the dwarf.
“Dara… would you prefer the ground floor or the second floor?”
“Oi. You do realize I’m a dwarf?”
She pointed downward.
“Ain’t no place more comfortable then under the ground f’r a dwarf to live.”
“Right. Basent level. Of course.” I sighed.
Stella just laughed before standing up and giving a kiss on the cheek.
“Have a good day at work, dear husband.”
Then she sauntered out of the Goblin’s Guild.
“Mind waiting a mont, Dara? Won’t take long for to make a room for our guests, then I can make your dwelling to your liking.”
“’s fine. Any place t’relax around here while I’m waiting?”
“There’s a heated bath on the ground floor if you’re interested.”
“Is it clean?”
“I assure you that hygiene is a priority around here.”
“Weren’t what I was askin’. I ain’t had a bath in a long while, enough to turn that clean bath a might dirty. Minin’ and forgin’ ain’t exactly clean work.”
“It’s fine. That’s what a bath is for.”
Dara shrugged.
“Got more alcohol? No sense in takin’ a bath if I’m only warm on the outside.”
“I’ll see what I can drum up for you.”
“Rally-ho!” She said with a half-hearted gesture, tapping her chest once and then raising a close-fisted hand up above her head.
I escorted Dara downstairs. I kept a jar of blue water in the breeding room kitchen for situations like this. When I brought the jar over to her, I noticed that she was on her hands and knees feeling the sides of the stone bath.
“Oi… this is decent work.”
“Thanks. Took and Vera a while to make it. I built the bath and she did the Runework.”
“You made this…?”
I then explained that I was a Force Magician by choice and how I used my Topaz stone to craft it magically.
“Hmm. This the only thing you can make?”
“I’m pretty handy. Just upgraded the shit-pit the other day.”
“Shit-pit?”
I escorted Dara to the shit-pit. As a dwarf, she had no need of torchlight to see comfortable inside of Goblinho. When we got there, I explained the layout, and how the toilets worked.
“So, all the shit goes down below?”
“It’s a contained pit. If you’re worried it will stink up your future residence, I assure you that won’t happen.”
“I’ll trust ye on that. Since that offer said all anities provided, can I get a private shitter down here? I don’t mind usin’ the communal bath upstairs.”
“I… guess so? I’ll have to talk to our craftsgoblin, Toy, about making you one.”
“That only leaves one last question. How’re we sharing th’profits?”
“Profits?”
“From my minin’ and forgin’?”
“Uh… our economy is still in its infancy, so… we’d need to discuss what’s acceptable for you. I’m wide open for negotiations in your favor.”
“Forges take a lot of wood and coal to fuel. An’ after workin’ I like to drink.”
“Doll and Figurine are in charge of the forestry around here. I’m sure they can provide you with ample wood when you need it. As for drink… I’ll talk with Berry, as she’s the only one who makes the stuff. If you don’t care to drink alone, check with the orc you just saw, Orga Lush, or among the goblins you can find Ivory.”
“I see… An’ what about our… relations?”
“That’s up to you.”
“Why ? Ain’t you the one f’r it?”
“Everyone that lives here in Goblinho, with exception to alone, is a woman… and sort of… all my wives… I guess? I’ll understand if getting involved with a guy like that might be a dealbreaker for you.”
“When’d I say that? I just… er… it’s uh… been a few decades… might be so cobwebs, rust, and so such down there…”
I tried to stifle a laugh. Was she the reclusive type?
“We don’t need to rush anything. Let’s get you nice and comfortable in your new ho first, and after that you can get as shit-faced drunk as you want to before we discuss doing anything either of us might regret later. Sound good?”
“Mmm, can’t complain about that getting shit-faced drunk part. That’s sweet talk to a gal like .”
I figured there was nothing wrong with being proactive here. I stopped by Ivory and Truffle’s cave-hole and introduced Dara to them and may have ntioned she happened to like drinking. Truffle and Ivory are very much the welcoming committee around here, so I kind of handed Dara off to them for a bit, asking them to keep her company in the bath.
Turns out Dara doesn’t dislike mushrooms either, which made her a friendly entity to Truffle. Apparently, Dara has a family recipe for mushroom soup. Can’t wait to try it.
Heading back to the Goblin’s Guild, I found Cobi had taken a few more things out of his massive backpack.
“You’re back. Good. There’s sothing I was told to give you in private.”
A stone of imnsely high quality was handed over.
“Our… acquaintance said it was for you to give the Guardian when you felt she was ready.”
I quickly took it and made a hole in a nearby wall with magic and placed it inside before sealing it back up. It seems I’ll need to add magic lessons with Prima back on my list of things to get done. I only hid it there so I wouldn’t lose it, or that it wouldn’t end up deep inside of Jewel’s gobhole. She’s got a knack for acquiring stones, and that one belongs to Prima when the ti is right.
“I’m going to make the guest quarters for you and your party now… shouldn’t take long. Might as well co along so can give any input as to how you’d like it to be as comfortable as possible.”
“Sounds good. Lead the way…”
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