I was wrong.
People are not nice here. Here I am, surrounded by a sea of faces, but I might as well be invisible. The whispers follow like a dark cloud, their venomous words poisoning my spirit.
I hear the laughter, the mocking, and it echoes in my mind, reminding of my perceived weaknesses.
They are always saying 'awakened people' are strong. But, I am unable to get stronger anymore. I reached my limit. I know that I know that, but why I can't do anything?
Why can't I be like that Ethan guy? He is getting stronger and stronger; why can't I?
It's relentless, a daily tornt that pierces through the fragile shell I try to maintain.
They are talking about how their stats are always raised, but I can't.
Sotis I want to stop. Looking at the sa screen over and over again….Those numbers are never changing…
But, I can't…
Whenever I stop, her face cos into my head…
I can't stop…
I mustn't…
*********
It has been a month already since the academy started….They are preying upon ; I can feel it…I walk these hallways, head down, trying to make myself smaller, invisible.
But they see .
They see the vulnerability etched on my face, the scars of loss that refuse to fade.
I beco their target, the embodint of their amusent.
They taunt , jeering at my pain, as if my grief is sothing to be ridiculed.
"Hey, trash…"
I hear the sa voice that has been causing distress.
'No, not now….'
Turning my gaze, I see a body filled with bulkiness. I try to run away, try to increase the distance.
"Where do you think you are going?"
However, a hand blocks my path. Now in front of , another person stands there.
It is a girl, a girl a lot different than her.
I try to get past her, but not to avail because my hands are tied with so weird magic.
Seeing I can't go further, I turn my head backward.
/SWOOSH/
There, I can see a fist coming to my face….
My body reacts on its own…. I try to raise my arms reflexively….
/THUD/
But, it is not enough.
It never is.
Imdiately, the punch connects with my face. And soon, a familiar pain assaults . A familiar pain I had been feeling for a while.
"Kuugh-"
Blood spills from my mouth, but I refuse to bow down hear.
I struggle to get the hand that is holding … But he is strong…. A lot stronger than ….
"Why don't you just cry so more, crybaby?" they sneer. They push , shove sideways, watching crumble under the weight of their cruelty.
I'm trapped in this cycle of tornt, always waiting for the next blow, the next laugh at my expense.
"HAHAHAH!" "Trash will always be trash, no matter what."
Their laughter echoes inside my head. The tingle never goes away. I know; my sanity slips away slowly…
I question myself constantly. What did I do to deserve this? Why am I so weak, so easy to prey upon? Why am I not like my sister?
She was so bright defending our village… Why can't I be like her? I can't hide. I'm left feeling like a failure, a punching bag for their amusent. I know I failed my sister, but I can't do anything.
'Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?'
Just why…. Why can't I get stronger? Darkness slips in, and my eyes slowly lose their sight.
My body feels aching all around, but I don't budge. It doesn't matter anymore. I can feel they are hitting ; they are spitting on . But none of those matter no longer.
"Trash." "Bastard." "Even your mother left you." I hear their voices getting weaker and weaker.
I realize they are leaving once again.
In my darkest monts, I wonder, what if I never existed? What if I was not there? Then, would it be okay? Feel like an outsider, an outcast who doesn't belong in this world.
But whenever I think about those things, my sister's face cos to my mind.
I feel disgusted at my pathetic self. I know it is my own fault, it is my own weakness that I can't stand up right here. It is because I am weak.
At that mont, I hear a tiny whispering voice inside .
"Aren't you tired?" A simple voice that echoes deep into my soul.
"Tired of being weak? Tired of not being able to do anything?" The voice echoes deep inside my heart, a voice that is cold.
A voice that reminds of mine.
I feel a shiver run down my spine as the voice resonates deep within my soul.
For a mont, the temptation to listen grows stronger.
"Yes," I admit, my voice trembling. "I am tired. Tired of feeling helpless, tired of being a target for this cruelty."
I want to cry, I want to pour down my emotions. But I know I can't.
The voice, cold and calculating, continues its manipulation. "What if I could offer you a way out? A chance to shed your weakness and beco sothing more. Sothing stronger."
I hear the voice, and that coldness inside sends shivers.
I never knew soone like this existed inside . I feel fear.
"Who are you?" I ask, not being able to contain myself.
"AHAHAHAHHAAH!" At that mont, a burst of chilly laughter erupts. It sends shivers down my spine.
I want to ask, what is funny? But I can't.
"Does it matter? I am you…. The one that you had been suppressing…."
His words echo inside my head…. I can't understand anything…. He is ? What does he an?
'No. This is not true.' I think not being able to contain the fear.
"Did you forget why you are here?" However, at that mont, his voice enters my ears. "Do you want to fail her? Do you want her blood to stay on the ground?"
Those words pierce through my heart, bringing mories I don't want to see right now.
Her smile shifts with the claw piercing through her chest….
"Accept … For her…. If she was in front of you, could you save her with your puny strength?"
His words pierce deep inside my heart once again, revealing scars hard to heal.
The mont those words co out, a shiny light appears in front of .
I could see a necklace there. It is shining with back color with a crescent moon carved.
It reminds of my sister again.
At that mont, the feeling of despair fills my heart.
'I need to do sothing, I need to be better.'
'I can't always stay the way I am.'
'I am weak, I am not strong.'
My hands shake... My vision blurs...
The pain that I was ignoring assaults again, and my body aches all around...
The places they hit were making feel despair...
'I can't protect her... Let alone avenging... I am worthless....'
In my desperation, I reach out and grasp the darkness, accepting the deal that will forever alter the course of my life.
--------------------A/N------------------
With this, the backstory of the first soul is finished.
Now, we will catch up with our transmigrator; then, the plot will start.
You can check my discord if you want. You will be able to see the illustrations here and engage in a conversation with if I am available.
sdiscord.gg/ufP7aaZu
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