And so, six weeks pass uneventfully, yet nonetheless full.
I suffer through Ken's idiotic bro-ness until I can create my own bodyweight and free-weight circuits, run the agility course, and design a targeted flexibility stretching and dynamic warm-up routine. I get my ass royally kicked in the advanced MMA classes, but it's so much better than ti with Douche Doll Ken, it's easy to keep coming back for more.
I go through a case and a half of Muscle ad, and eventually it's not so disappointing to catch sight of myself when I step out of the shower.
I also drink a few mugs of De-Tox Tea, and holy fuck, it's an experience so revolting it's damned otherworldly.
Thank the gods for the V-Haven suck-out-all-the-gross-shit gel. This so-called "tea" tastes like the color dark green and forcibly expels toxins and impurities from your body. It's both disgusting and yet bizarrely satisfying in the way popping a zit is when you're sixteen.
Alopix particularly enjoys my newfound health kick, since our daily runs grow longer and longer. Knowing it will be a while before I have the ti again, I take him out to the Olympic Peninsula for serious forest trail runs, and we spend the night in a cabin with Deion, Theo, and Robbie. It's cold as balls, and we have exactly zero internet service (which makes twitch more than I'm happy admitting), but the snacks are good, the beer's local, and I laugh more than I have in over two years.
Throughout December, I also spend way more ti in the library than I ever did as a student. Thanks to Xiuying stoking my interest young, I already own a decent collection of books on world mythologies, historical legends, and fairy tales. But now that I have a better idea of which specific myths are going to be realm focuses in-ga, I hang out in the library, researching the gods I'm less familiar with.
---
Fiiinally, it's T-minus two hours until ga ti, and I'm practically edging in anticipation of the countdown.
I'm tempted to just crawl into my V-Haven and wait, but I'll be spending 12 hours a day in the thing from here on out, so that feels dumb.
Out of ways to procrastinate, I end up sitting on my couch with Pix, staring listlessly at the closed V-Haven.
This is SO much more productive.
I slap my face like they do in Japanese ani, and it is exactly as ineffective and unsatisfying as you'd expect.
Groaning, I roll off the couch and do what I always do when I'm feeling bored or tired or indecisive: I walk to the fridge, open the door, and stare.
Naturally, I don't eat anything. It's the act of staring itself that's important.
I get lucky, and it only takes three repeats of the couch - walk - fridge - stare cycle for inspiration to strike.
I haven't co up with my new avatar na yet.
Once we realized this ga really was different, most of us in the beta decided we'd be changing our avatar nas when we registered for the official launch. A ga this steeped in mythology practically begs players to choose nas with legendary significance.
Besides, Dregs no longer seems appropriate. Through sweat, blood, and tears, I've lifted myself from the dregs of humanity to a victor who stands at the pinnacle.
I don't plan on letting anything or anyone knock off my Fucking Aweso Mountain.
Hoping for inspiration, I skim my favorite book 'Zeus Fucks the World, Literally and Figuratively, and other Accurate Tales from World Mythology.'
Xiuying had blocked out the fucks and super vulgar descriptions before she gave it to , since I was eight at the ti, but I pulled off the post-its covering all the good stuff in middle school. As I scour it for the perfect na, I'm almost dizzy from excitent.
Yes, I was that kid who spent hours longer designing his RPG character and backstory than most people even played the RPG.
Shit, I had so many fucking Sims.
Naming's always been one of my favorite parts. It's not that I hate my real na. Eric Lieu ans "Ever Ruler of Slaughter," which is possibly (definitely) more badass than my geek self truly deserves.
My dad's Chinese and my mom's Arican, originally Nordic or sothing. Since she's blonde, I once made the joke they both had Yellow Fever.
They did not like that.
When Mom got pregnant with , Xiuying convinced them to just give an Arican-sounding first na because Aricans are bizarrely stupid when it cos to pronouncing pretty much all things.
"Ooh, did that word used to be French? Boom, not anymore suckerz!"
The most horrifying example of this is a tiny town called Versaillespronounced Vur-saylz.
I puke in my mouth a little even when I just pronounce that in my head.
In the case of my sister, her elentary school experience went pretty much like this: "Oh, huh, your na's Xiuying, the most common girl's na in all of China? Well I think it's weird, soI'm going to call you Jenny!"
Nine tis out of ten, I'm sure your average well-mannered Chinese girl would have just rolled with it and henceforth been known as 'Jenny.' But sothing to understand about my sister is that she is not a Jenny. She's not a well-mannered Chinese girl either.
She's Lieu Xiuying, and she will punch a five-year-old blonde girl wearing a sparkle bow and pigtails.
She will also punch blondie's eight-year-old brother, when he shows up after school to "teach the Ping Pong brat a lesson" (because casual racism is always classy). And when he uses his height and weight advantage to bust her lip and knock her to the ground, she will fight dirty.
Dirt in the eyes, kick to the balls, and run like Hades is on your heels.
She's a real inspiration to .
And her aweso book ends up providing inspiration to as well! Half an hour until go ti, I find the perfect na for the character I want to beco.
I know myself well enough to realize this identity is going to quickly beco more than, well, . Viren's Refuge is an entirely new world, full of possibility and limitless futures.
And I am going to kick its ass.
By the ti the final Mythic Realm is conquered, I'm going to rule the whole damn virtual world, and my avatar will be a god.
It's going to be fucking epic, my dudes.
Reviews
All reviews (0)