(A/N: Recomnd re-reading starting from Chapter 99 to get back into the flow!)
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"You're bluffing," Loimos (Pestilence) squawks, eyes darting wildly between in my peach-boxers glory and the glowing sword hanging like a death sentence above his head, as if he can't decide which he should be more afraid of.
The answer is definitely .
My face tattoos writhe in ti with my quiet rage as I rember before our dungeon run when this slimy maggot called Kara a bitch.
I twitch my fingers, and the sword drops another ter closer to the Horsen's oblivion.
"Silence, Loimos, you plague-ridden fool," Thanatos (Death) snaps, and Loimos flinches.
Polemos (War) sneers at his weak-willed teammate, then at . "You don't have the stomach to be a Red Player, Erebus" he scoffs. "Probably would interfere with all your dumbass sches."
I smirk, a dangerous twist to my lips, because he's more right than he knows; at this point, I'm pretty sure my sches have sches.
"Good thing Smiting you wouldn't affect my PK status, then," I reply casually. "Seeing as how you attacked first and all."
Thanatos is the first to understand, and her dark expression hardens as she curses under her breath. "He speaks truth. He can kill us all without penalty."
"How?!" Polemos rages.
"You're Party Leader, dum dum," Limos (Famine) explains crankily, before thwacking War upside the head with her mage staff.
"Ow, what the hell!" Polemos yells. When he moves to retaliate, I drop the Holy Sword another ter and shake my finger.
"Nuh uh uhh," I admonish. "Don't make Smite you. You deserve whatever she dishes out. If I were on your team, I'd wanna kick your ass, too."
The short mage Limos half-smiles at in thanks, then thwacks Polemos upside the head again for good asure. "Since you're clearly too stupid to understand, let spell it out for you," she snarks. "Being Party Leader ans that when you initiate an attack, anyone in your Party currently in the sa Map Zone is automatically complicit in that attack. By trying to blow Erebus up, you dragged us into this ss, and now he can kill all of us and call it self-defense."
"That about sums it up," I agree with a wide smirk.
Phase One of my "whacked-out plan," as Nightfury so fondly dubbed it, had been: "Piss off Polemos, the Murderous War Lunatic, enough to make him attack, so any later violence on my end is System-Recognized as Self-Defense."
Resounding success with that one.
And since he's Party Leader, the System recognizes all Four Horsen as my attackers, so I can wipe out the entire Party and still remain a Green Player.
It's annoying I had to go through all this rigmarole, since in a lot of gas you can kill Red Players for any reason without turning Red yourself. Not so with Viren's Refuge, though.
This ga is surprisingly uncool about vigilantism.
(Probably due to concerns that it's not a great idea to encourage murder willy-nilly when the world is so realistic. Damn boring psychologists, taking away all our fun with their "ethics.")
Unless they attack first and signal the System Self-Defense Clause, you can't kill any other Player, even a Red Player-Killer, without turning Red yourself. You will gain Reputation for killing Red PKers, and the double loot they drop, but you suffer the other gaplay effects any Red Player would: you can't go to towns without being arrested, you can't go to NPC-owned shops, and if you die while still Red, you suffer all the usual Player Killer penalties.
This, of course, would seriously jeopardize my money-making plans in Tara, so I'm not planning on rampant PKing any ti soon.
...At least not without making sure I'm always using the system loopholes so I stay Green. ?
Polemos tries to complain, but Thanatos skewers him with a lethal glare terrifying enough to make a grown man piss himself.
"I like her," Kara says.
"Of course you do," I sigh.
"I like Limos," Taliesin chis in. "She seems our kind of crazy."
The mage in question seems to have gotten her anger out, and now, unconcerned by her impending doom, is currently sitting cross-legged on the ground, making a sandwich. She's swapped her magic staff out for a small shield, which she's using as a plate.
"Can we keep her?" Taliesin asks pleadingly.
Nanuk and I rub our foreheads in anticipation of our growing headaches. "No adopting stray Horsen," we warn.
"We just want the Horsewon," Kara argues.
"No."
"How about just a horse, then?" Taliesin counters.
"Ooh, I want a pony," Kara agrees.
"Mounts aren't due until Realm Two opens," I remind them.
"I have faith in your abilities to find a loophole around that."
"...Fair point."
Thanatos clears her throat pointedly and stares with her creepy all-white eyes until we shut the hell up.
"You have us at your rcy, yet you have not dealt the final blow," she says in her deep, commanding voice. "What is it you want from us? Gold?"
Taliesin and I glance at each other and roll our eyes. "Aww that's cute," he says. "They think we need their ager money."
"What do you want then?" snot-nosed Loimos demands.
I share a quick look with the rest of my Party, silently communicating that yes, I'm still following my Whacked-Out Plan, but also yes, if they have so random requests, they can feel free to jump in.
Once everyone looks on board, I turn back to the Horsen and begin negotiations.
"First off? Pants."
Silence from the other side of the field.
Finally, Loimos squawks, "Uh, what?!"
My eyes narrow into my cold glare. "Did I stutter?"
Loimos gulps and shrinks back.
"If you want to live, one of y'all better hook a brother up with so damn trousers. I don't care how fine my JUICY ass is, I'm not opening inter-city Teleportation like a hero with a glittery peach butt."
Thanatos nods, as if this is perfectly sensible. "Loimos, give the man your pants."
Spluttering in outrage, Pestilence tries to argue, but eventually is forced to toss his trousers into the middle of the field for to retrieve later. Turns out the sliball doesn't have any other pants to equip, so he's left standing in his skivvies.
His perfectly normal navy blue boxers that are looser and longer than my original skintight pink heart-covered monstrosities.
I renew my desire to murder whichever bored art intern designed my Immortal underwear.
I give Taliesin the signal to be obnoxious, so he asks for everything from all the candy Limos is clearly hoarding to Polemos's firstborn son, should the ga engine ever progress that far. Naturally, most of what he asks for receives a solid, "No," but he manages to confuse and annoy them enough he does scrounge almost every monster part he still needed for Excalibur's upgrade.
Boy's got mad skills in the Annoy Them Until They Cave arena.
Kara has Limos make her a sandwich as well and sohow convinces Thanatos to accept a Friend Request.
Nightfury, the adorable little tsundere dragon, asks for a ton of impossible items, only to finally settle on a Healer item from Thanatos, which he pretends he's not going to imdiately give to Lialas once we et up with him again.
Nanuk just asks for enough potions to restock his Stamina and Health kit, and more information on poor Bob, the Horsen's normy 5th Party mber who had to fight Pineapple_Applepen for the chance to join them in the Dungeon. Polemos admits making the two normies fight didn't really matter, since he killed Bob pretty much right off the bat once the Dungeon started so they wouldn't have to share EXP.
Considering Nightfury and his old Party Leader Kane were planning to do the sa thing to when we first t, I feel especially close to Bob, so I steal my flask back from Nightfury and toast the poor bastard.
Once my Party has officially weirded out the Four Horsen and left them exhausted from all the insane negotiations, I put away the flask and put my ga face on.
It's ti to get serious.
I subtly signal to Taliesin, and he turns off the cara no one else realized he was still using. Then I stare down Thanatos (Death), clearly the true leader of the Four Horsen.
"This next point of negotiation will be your favorite, I think."
Death raises a single eyebrow and manages to look just as unimpressed as Alfryd always does. "Indeed?"
I just smirk. "Yes. Because for this negotiation to work, I have to give you sothing precious first."
Her Stealth falters as her interest is piqued, and her entire black-clad avatar becos sharply visible. "And what might that be?"
My grin turns feral, and my black-and-silver eyes flash as I pull up my special map reward from Anansi.
"The location of a brand-new Level 10 Dungeon."
The shocked gasps coming in surround sound from both the Horsen in front and my own Party mbers behind (plus the excited giggle coming from Taliesin) are music to my Chaos-loving soul.
"What do you say we have ourselves another little wager?" I challenge.
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