How to Survive as a BL Villain Chapter 32: I shouldn’t do this

(Leonel POV)

I don’t know how long I stood out there on the balcony. Long enough for the night to seep into my bones, long enough for the city lights to blur into streaks of gold and gray. My phone was dead in my pocket, but I didn’t need to look at it again. I’d already seen Lucian’s ssage. The one Cassian showed while he was telling about not going to the party he said but I saw the way his thumb hovered over it before he flipped the screen away.

Either way, it gutted .

" Can’t wait to see you there.A winking emoji followed."

Like How can that Bastard ssage him knowing i can see it

I shouldn’t go to him. Not now. It’s past midnight, and Cassian’s probably asleep exhausted from whatever emotional circus Lucian dragged him through tonight. But my feet move before my brain catches up. Down the hall, past the quiet hum of the house, past reason.

Why am I doing this?

Because every ti I close my eyes, I see a future where Cassian laughing at sothing Lucian said head tilted back, eyes lit up like he’d finally found sothing that fit .

Suddenly, a mory crosses through his mind he grabs his head in pain

kid from high school face gone fuzzy with ti, but voice sharp as glass: "Lucian’s way better. I’m never hanging out with you again."

And then, days later, cornered in the hallway, hurling pencil cases at my chest like they were bullets. "You’re a curse, Leonel! Because of you, I t Lucian and because of you, he ruined my life!"

End of the mory, and he is now trembling

I never knew what "ruined" ant to him. He vanished after that. But the guilt stuck. Like maybe I am poison. Maybe everyone who gets close to ends up broken because of Lucian he hates he ruins things close to .

And Cassian... Cassian’s already half-gone, isn’t he?

I stop outside his door. Hand on the knob. I should walk away. Be the bigger man. Give him space.

But I turn it.

The room’s dark. Just the ghost of moonlight on the walls. And there he is buried under the blanket, pulled all the way over his head like he’s trying to disappear. My chest aches.

I step in. Close the door. Locked it.

I don’t know why I locked it maybe because I can’t bear the thought of Aiden walking in on this. Or maybe because I need to know he can’t run away not tonight.

I cross the room slow, like if I move too fast, he’ll vanish. I pull off the blanket from above his face. His eyes are closed, but his lashes twitch. He’s awake. Of course he is.

I slide my fingers down his cheek warm skin, soft stubble, the pulse fluttering under his jaw. He shivers. And then I climb onto the bed, straddle him, lean down until my breath ghosts over his lips.

"You’re gonna leave soon, right?" I whisper.

My voice cracks. I hate how weak it sounds. But I need to hear it. Need to know if the ground’s already gone from under .

(Cassian POV)

I turned my phone on airplane mode an hour ago. After the seventh text from Lucian - "You can’t ignore forever bunny " , "what are you going to wear to the party?" I couldn’t take it anymore. I powered it off like it was burning my hands and buried myself under the blanket, pulling it over my head like a kid hiding from monsters.

I just wanted to sleep. To stop thinking.

But sleep wouldn’t co. Every ti I closed my eyes, Lucian’s words slithered in, twisting into doubts I didn’t want to na. And underneath that? Scared.. scared what would he do to aiden will he use to co to our house and pounce on aiden ! Aiden doesn’t even know it yet.

I’d just started to drift to sleep when the door creaked open.

My heart stopped.

Who is it? at this hour?

I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. The house isn’t empty Leonel is here, Aiden’s here too they both can save if its so murderer but this felt... different.

Then the door clicked shut. And lock.

Locked?!!!

Panic flared hot in my chest. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, playing dead, hoping whoever it was would leave. But then the mattress dipped. A presence. Close. Too close.

The blanket lifted from my face.

I forced my breathing steady, but my skin lit up like I’d been struck by lightning. Then fingers warm, rough, They traced my jaw, my throat. Chills raced down my spine.

Leonel.

I knew that touch like my own pulse i know this feeling but his touch feels a bit more....

Before I could open my eyes, the bed shifted. Weight settled over solid, heavy, real. And then that voice, low and raw, cutting through the dark:

"You’re gonna leave soon, right?"

I kept My eyes squeezed shut, pretending to sleep, hoping Leonel would just... leave. Say whatever he needed to and go.

But then Leonel’s voice ca low, rough, trembling in a way I’d never heard before.

"I know you will," he whispered, fingers still tracing my jaw like he was morizing . "I can already see it. You’ll choose him. And you can’t... you can’t just leave like that, Cassian."

My chest tightened. I stayed still, eyes closed, breath held.

"I like you a lot," he went on, voice cracking. "And Aiden... you can’t leave Aiden too, right?"

Wait -what? what is he talking about?

My stomach dropped.

Leonel’s thumb brushed my bottom lip, gentle now, almost reverent. "You promised you wouldn’t go," he murmured, so quiet it was almost a prayer. "Not like the others."

The others?

Who were the others?

I didn’t move. Didn’t open my eyes. But inside, everything tilted. Because this wasn’t just jealousy. This wasn’t just fear of Lucian.

This felt like grief wearing my face.

Like he wasn’t being himself not the kind of possesive i know of

And that thought? It scared more than Lucian ever could.

i was deep in thoughts then suddenly i felt lips on my lips

He kissed .

Hard. Sudden. Like he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried.

I froze just for a second telling myself not to react, not to give in, not to let this unravel . But then his mouth moved against mine, insistent, hungry, and before I could pull away, his tongue slid past my lips.

I gasped.

My eyes flew open. "What are you -" I tried to say, but the words shattered the second his hand tangled in my hair, gripping the back of my head like he was afraid I’d vanish if he let go. He deepened the kiss, pressing down harder, his tongue sweeping into my mouth with a roughness that sent heat straight to my core.

"Leonel!" I managed between breaths, trying to push at his chest, but my hands betrayed they curled into his shirt instead, holding on like I was the one drowning.

He didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. His other hand slid down my side, fingers digging into my hip, pulling flush against him until I could feel every hard line of his body, every ragged breath he couldn’t control. The kiss wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t careful. It was raw like he was trying to crawl inside , stitch himself to my bones so I could never leave.

I moaned against his mouth without aning to, and that seed to undo him completely. He groaned low in his throat, shifting his weight, one knee nudging between my legs, pinning to the mattress. My head tipped back instinctively, giving him more access, and he took it sucking at my lower lip, biting just enough to make whimper.

"L-leonel, w-wait -" I tried again, voice trembling, but he cut off with another searing kiss, his thumb brushing my jaw like he was soothing even as he devoured .

It was too much. Not enough. Everything.

I could feel his heart hamring against my chest, feel the desperation in every movent the way his fingers trembled in my hair, the way his breath hitched when I finally stopped fighting and kissed him back.

Because I was kissing him back.

Hard.

Like I’d been starving for this. Like I’d been waiting for him to finally take instead of just hover at the edges of , scared to want too much.

My hands slid up his arms, over his shoulders, pulling him closer until there was no space left between us just heat, breath, and the quiet, broken sounds we couldn’t hold back.

When he finally pulled back just an inch his eyes were dark, wild, searching mine like he expected to shove him away.

I didn’t.

I reached up, cupped his face with both hands, thumbs brushing his cheekbones, and whispered, "is everything okay?"

He exhaled like he’d been holding his breath for weeks.