Chapter 19
“I am soone who should not be allowed to live in society.”
I closed my mouth. I did not know what to say. Should I offer so trite reassurance, sothing like, “That is not true”? His expression was far too serious for that. Saying sothing so hollow would only backfire.
So I simply waited for him to continue.
Draksan squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again.
“I can feel it myself. I am going mad.”
“You are not mad. You are ill. An illness can be treated.”
“For the past month, I did not co to see you even once. Do you know why?”
I had no idea.
“Because I got better. Suddenly, as if everything had been washed clean. Before, just thinking about that bastard, the ‘Monster Tar,’ Hadler, that fucking bastard… it made my anger boil over.”
“You would fly into a fit of rage just from hearing the na ‘Hadler.’”
“Yes. But at so point, hearing that word no longer affected at all. Even when I pictured his face, or imagined the pain my wife and daughter must have suffered.”
Draksan let out a hollow laugh.
“At so point, I started thinking like this. ‘My wife is already dead. Hadler is paying for his cris. There is nothing I can do. It is powerless, but what choice do I have? I cannot let myself destroy the rest of my life by clinging to the past’…”
“……”
“At the ti, I truly thought I had completely recovered.”
If what Draksan said was true, his way of thinking had shifted into a fairly healthy direction.
“But that was not the case. Do you know what charge I am being held on right now?”
“You were brought in for assaulting investigators.”
“Before that, there was soone else I assaulted. A young man nad Hardi. While I was beating him, investigators were dispatched, and I ended up assaulting them as well.”
He spoke as though he were describing sothing another person had done, and that was understandable.
That series of assaults had not been driven by Draksan’s will, but committed after he lost his reason due to Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
“And that man, Hardi… is Hadler’s son.”
“What? I heard you assaulted soone you were drinking with.”
“That is also true. At the ti, I was drinking with Hardi.”
It was difficult to make sense of what he was saying. I organized my thoughts.
Hadler was the so-called ‘Monster Tar’ who murdered Draksan’s family. And Hardi was Hadler’s son.
Which ant…
‘Draksan was drinking with the son of his sworn enemy?’
Even after putting the pieces together, there was sothing I still did not understand.
“My mory is a bit unclear, but… did you not also hate Hadler’s family?”
“Yes. At first, I did. I hated his entire family. I wanted to kill them all. Since I could no longer kill him with my own hands, I even resolved to kill his family instead.”
“Yes, you told that yourself.”
Hadler was imprisoned for life. Because of that, Draksan lost his chance for revenge.
It was not as though he could simply break into a prison and kill him.
So his unresolved resentnt turned toward Hadler’s family.
Hadler had committed murders in the shadows while outwardly living a normal family life.
Of course, his family had not known that he was secretly a murderer, but that was of no concern to Draksan.
Instead of exacting revenge on Hadler directly, Draksan had planned to harm his family.
He had even described those detailed plans to .
“I actually investigated Hadler’s family in preparation for carrying out my revenge. Ah, this is sothing I never told you beforehand…”
“That is fine.”
There was no reason to be surprised.
I had vaguely sensed as much during our counseling sessions.
“Please, continue.”
“But when I looked into them, I found that Hadler’s family was not living comfortably either. They were being pointed at and shunned simply because they were his family. Hardi kept failing to find work, solely because he was Hadler’s son.”
Seeing such a thing might reasonably evoke a sense of satisfaction or vindication.
It certainly would have for .
But Draksan was a kinder man than I had expected.
“I started thinking this. Perhaps they, too, are victims suffering because of a human murderer. Like . Yes, like … Thinking that way, I felt sorry for them. They were innocent. The only one who committed a cri was that fucking bastard Hadler….”
Suddenly, Draksan clenched his teeth. After letting out a long sigh and steadying himself, he continued.
“So I bought a small gift and went to visit Hadler’s family.”
“You went in person… Were they not wary of you?”
“At first, they thought I had co to harm them and were on guard. But once we talked, we beca close rather quickly.”
Draksan and Hadler’s family shared sothing in common.
They had suffered because of Hadler, and they continued to suffer because of him.
By sharing that pain, they grew close, and he beca so familiar with Hadler’s son Hardi that they even drank together.
“But once the alcohol got to …”
Draksan’s eyes trembled.
“Hardi and Hadler do resemble each other. They are both dwarves, after all… But until then, it had never happened. Suddenly, I began to see Hadler’s face in Hardi. Then, gradually, I could no longer tell whether the person in front of was Hardi or Hadler, and eventually…”
His leg shook anxiously. His breathing grew rough.
“…I had to kill him. I had to kill the Hadler in front of right then and there. That was all I could think.”
“And that is why you assaulted Hardi. Because Hardi and Hadler overlapped in your vision.”
“Yes. Not long after, three investigators ca to arrest . The funny thing is… they looked like Hadler too. I beat even those innocent investigators and staggered ho in a daze. On the way back, everyone I encountered… They all looked like Hadler. Every single one of them.”
Draksan’s body was trembling.
The man who had looked so formidable when hunting monsters now appeared more fragile than anyone.
“I am insane. I have no confidence in living. I have no reason to live either. So… it is better if I go to prison. Soone like should not be released into society. No.”
He gave a bitter smile. It was the smile of soone who had resigned himself.
“Not even a human… but a Barbarian.”
I chose my words carefully.
“Your daughter is still alive.”
“My daughter? Lena?”
Draksan’s daughter, Lena, was not dead.
Though she was in the horrific state of a coma, she was undeniably alive.
Yet rather than finding hope in my words, Draksan scoffed.
Staring into empty space with eyes even hollower than before, he spoke.
“Is that truly living?”
“……”
I fell silent.
What ordinary healing magic could treat were physical injuries. Advanced healing magic could even restore internal organs and bones.
But even healing magic could not nd the brain, the mind itself. Lena had lost consciousness due to psychological trauma.
Every form of healing magic and dical technique had been exhausted, yet she had not awakened.
Unless a miracle occurred, there was no chance she ever would.
All that could be done was to keep her alive through life-sustaining treatnt, suspended in a state that was neither living nor dead.
Could that truly be called living?
“I am exhausted. Completely.”
He was asking to be imprisoned of his own will.
He was voluntarily requesting isolation from society.
Which ant that the way for to help him was… to do nothing.
To let Draksan go to prison as he wished.
“…Thank you for speaking with , Draksan. I will co again.”
“There is no need, Doctor.”
Draksan bowed his head deeply.
“Thank you for everything.”
***
When I stepped out of the visitation room, I saw Nyxle.
She was standing guard outside with her hands clasped behind her back, likely stationed there in case Draksan caused a disturbance during the visit.
“Ah, Doctor. Did your conversation go well?”
“Yes.”
I answered while struggling to conceal my bitterness.
Nyxle hesitated, as though she had sothing to say.
“Is there sothing you would like to tell ?”
“…It is nothing. Just.”
She hesitated, then continued.
“I have received a great deal of help from you, Dr. Kain. Enough that I consider you my benefactor. But in this matter, I believe Chief Justin is right.”
Nyxle watched carefully, checking whether my feelings had been hurt.
Maintaining that cautious attitude, she continued.
“Since I, too, have been helped by you, I can understand Draksan’s suffering to so extent. His story is heartbreaking. But…”
“He is too dangerous to be released into society.”
“Yes… I am not really in a position to say this, though.”
Nyxle lowered her head, looking embarrassed.
I nodded.
“I am aware of that as well.”
If Draksan’s sentence were reduced on the grounds of ntal illness and a tragic past, then, as Chief Justin warned, criminals would arise who sought to exploit that precedent.
Moreover, Draksan himself wanted to go to prison.
‘There is nothing to agonize over.’
Draksan would stand trial like anyone else, without a reduced sentence, and pay for his cri of assault.
That way, there would be no precedent of the kind Chief Justin feared. No criminals would exploit it.
Draksan would enter prison as he wished, separating himself from society. Everything would proceed as everyone desired. But…
I thought about Draksan’s life.
On the day he returned ho after working diligently, his wife was dead and his daughter lay in a coma.
Unable to take revenge, he suffered alone and developed a disorder that robbed him of control over his anger.
Just as his illness began to improve and he was finally able to envision a future free from the ghosts of the past, his rage erupted once more.
Unable to trust even himself, he chose to isolate himself from society by entering prison of his own accord.
It was cruel beyond asure.
Was this truly the best outco? Was sending Draksan to prison really the correct answer…?
He had asked to be isolated from society of his own will.
But was that truly what he wanted? Did he not also wish, like anyone else, to live an ordinary life?
Yet there was no other solution.
Soon, the day of Draksan’s trial arrived.
***
The trial proceeded swiftly.
Draksan did not deny his charges. He confessed to every wrongdoing in ticulous detail.
He lied only once. When he said, “I am fine.”
He did not wish to receive leniency on the grounds of ntal illness, nor did he ntion that he suffered from Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
Even taking into account his confession and remorse, the first trial sentenced him to fifteen years. For a first offense, it was a heavy sentence.
It was hard not to wonder whether the fact that Draksan was a Barbarian had influenced the verdict…
‘The truth of it cannot be known.’
Draksan appeared determined to accept the sentence as it was, without appealing.
Thus, the matter seed to co to a close, leaving behind a lingering bitterness. And it was just before Draksan was to be sent to prison.
Chirp, chirp.
Birdsong drifted in through the window.
‘Gipone?’
When I unfolded the letter the pigeon carried in its beak, I read the following ssage.
—Doctor it is Nyxle please co to the Public Security Bureau Draksan is right now
The handwriting was hurried and ssy, lacking context, and the ssage cut off abruptly.
It was easy to tell that sothing urgent had happened, and that it involved Draksan.
Reviews
All reviews (0)