How can you say that? shouted Claire. Its an unusual talent to be able to hit the bass notes while being shrill enough to disturb dogs, but Claire had a gift. What are you even saying right now? She turned to and waved away. Ignore her, she doesnt an it.
It felt a bit odd that Claire was this eager to step in like her drunk friend was trying to get off with the biggest scumbag at the nightclub. Actually, I guess it wasnt that odd.
I know what Im doing, said Jenny, very firmly. Im going with him.
As you may have noticed, no one was asking what I thought about any of this.
No, you arent, said Claire, equally firmly.
The crowd around us were remarkably quiet as they watched the two girls throw down over the wisdom of going off with , and indeed, getting off with . I couldnt say for sure, but my guess would be that most of them were siding with Big Nose over Scarface. Mind you, I was naked, so their judgent was skewed by insider knowledge.
Much to my surprise, I was fine with their stares. This body was no more than a Tussauds wax statue as far as I was concerned absolutely nothing to do with the person it was modelled after (which is the main requirent at Mada Tussauds).
People seem to be fine with showing off their privates these days. Social dia is full of people posting their junk and even videos of themselves shagging. Upvotes from strangers make them feel better. Maybe this was how it felt to have people look at you fully exposed and not feel horribly embarrassed. I had just sent my first dick pic, and thousands of people had received it without even owning a phone. Im a pioneer at heart.
Dont get involved, said Jenny. This is between and him.
Im getting involved because you told us to, rember? Claire shot a sideways glance, trying her best to exclude from the debate. You said we werent to let you go off with him, no matter how much you begged us to let you.
It seed Jenny had made so kind of werewolf pact with the others, where she told them to lock her in a room and not let her out until the full moon passed. I was the full moon in this scenario. Well, I was to fifty percent of the crowd.
Im not begging you, said Jenny.
Im not going to let you beg him, either, said Claire. They both looked over at and grimaced.
I looked up at the spire looming dark and foreboding with a hole in its side and dust still falling. Ships were circling overhead. I really needed to get going, I said.
Dont move, said Jenny.
Shut up, said Claire.
Strong-willed won who speak their minds, who doesnt want to see more fo that? Those shows on TV where a bunch of won sit around a table and discuss the latest news and gossip in front of an audience of housewives with nothing better to do, quality broadcasting.
You said you would do this, said Claire, you said youd get weak and give in to your cravings, and we were to drag you away even if you fought us. You made us promise.
I was sort of flattered. Sort of, but not quite. A girl was so attracted to she had to be held down so she wouldnt throw herself at my cock, but at the sa ti, clearly she was ntal.
I dont care what I said, shouted Jenny, flailing her arms like soone was trying to get her into a straight jacket and she was doing her best to stop them. Hes empty carbs, I know that, but hes delicious. I dont care how fat I get.
Presumably, she was being taphorical. If she wasnt, and this was her announcing her intention to let herself go and put on weight like a married woman living in a semi-detached in Croydon, I was going to have to politely decline the offer. Its not that Im shallow, I just dont want to live in Croydon with a fat chick.
The fairies hadnt moved in to break things up, and the people watching were fascinated, even the ones who were the walking dead, which just goes to show you how much enjoynt you can get out of other peoples problems.
I stole another look up at the spire. Where had Joshaya gone? I had expected him to co leaping down, and then Id be able to slip away in the chaos.
This is all your fault, said Claire. She was looking at when she said it, but I was fairly confident she was referring to soone behind .
How is it my fault? I agree with you.
You do? said Claire, not used to being told she was right. Like, ever.
Of course. Jennys much better off here, or anywhere that Im not. I expect to die at any mont, and shed only get in the way, I an, get in harms way. I turned to Jenny. Once this is all sorted out and I co back, we can figure out what to do then. No point picking out new curtains while the walls are crumbling around us. A slab of stone hit the ground beside and shattered. See?
Did you make that happen? asked Maurice, his tone very accusing.
No, I said. Thats part of the wall I was thrown through earlier. Nice body, by the way. I patted my stomach. Resilient as fuck.
Thanks, I
Shut it, said Claire, not in the mood for guy talk. Maurice snapped his mouth shut.
Shes got you on a short leash, hasnt she, I said, grinning.
No, said Maurice, and then said nothing more because his girlfriend was glaring at him.
Whatever it is you need to do, said Jenny, we can do it quicker together.
Theres an awkward ti in a relationship when youve beco so used to spending ti together, and really enjoying it, that when the guy wants to go see his mates, the girl assus shes going too, and he has to find a gentle way to tell her she isnt. That ti was now.
Its more of a one-man job, I said.
One man, one woman, said Jenny. A bold counter-play.
Let him go, pleaded Claire. You know he has to do this by himself.
I was drawing the subtle inference that they had discussed this many tis before and there were many different levels to the discussion I wasnt aware of. Which was fine by . The problem with secrets is that wanting to know is far more engrossing than actually knowing. Whatever it was that had got their knickers twisted, they were more than likely wrong. I say this as a guy whose panties are near-permanently bunched up and has had a lot of experience in discovering there was never a reason for it, like when traffic finally starts moving and theres nothing that would have caused it. I an, yeah, theres all that blood on the road and broken glass, but who knows how long thats been there?
No, said Jenny. I need to do this. I need to find out for myself.
Even if it kills him? said Claire.
Yes, said Jenny.
Now I was getting the subtle inference that maybe I should find out what the hell they were talking about.
Can you two stop squabbling like a couple of old won and chill out? I said in my best hostage negotiator voice. Hostage negotiators insult the hostage takers, right? Thats how they trick them into making a fatal mistake. Im not going to die, not unless you lot are around to let it happen, like last ti.
There was an awkward pause in proceedings. The crowd watched avidly I was sure I could sll popcorn, although that would be unlikely since popcorn hadnt been invented yet. I was saving that revelation for when I had to prove myself so kind of miracle worker.
Wheres the corn gone? Whats this white fluffy stuff? Yes, I am your new ssiah!
Dumb People Free Snacks = Religion
Forget what happened before, said Jenny, in the calm voice she only used when she had decided to ignore my wishes and was planning to use physical techniques to make see sense. Were going to do this together, just you and . I will follow your orders, you will not run away from . This will be a good way to see if we really are compatible. If not, then we can go our separate ways knowing we gave it our best shot.
Theres sothing about a woman being reasonable while she looks at you with the cold eyes of a killer that suggests you should agree with her now, and lace your shoes nice and tight for the future and the opportunities it might bring.
The thing is, I said nice and slowly so as not to spook her, you might not be able to go where Im going.
I will find a way to follow you. Did she an to make that sound so threatening?
Why? I said, finally having to ask. If she was going to force her companionship on whether I wanted it or not, she could at least explain the logic behind it. I certainly had no idea why shed decided I was the guy she should hitch her wagon to. Dont get wrong, it was a very nice wagon a great ride and the view from the back was amazing but she could do so much better.
Stop being an idiot, said Jenny. The air was heavy with romance, as Im sure you could tell. Youve always doubted my feelings for you, and thats fine. You dont have to feel secure. You just have to let co with you. Not that you have much of a choice.
I was getting a lot of mixed signals. So of them said run, others said hide.
Shes snapped, said Claire. I knew it would happen eventually. She turned to . You did this.
I was at a loss to understand what I was being blad for. Ive had enough of this. Wheres Flossie? I need a ride, for one. Youre staying here. Sotis a man has to take a stand.
NO! yelled Jenny. A shockwave blew through the square, knocking everyone to the ground.
Everyone except for Jenny and . And a tall guy with dead eyes.
Ah, Joshaya, I said, there you are, you insufferable fuck.
Jennys emotional outburst (won, huh?) had been strong enough to flatten even the dead. I, on the other hand, was far too numb to human emotions to be affected. And the only other person left standing had to be soone of imnse power, although he was staggering a bit.
Where is your body? said Joshaya. Why climb down from the spire when you could just transfer to another body already down here? Give it to .
His body is mine, said Jenny. She turned to . Your body belongs to . My body belongs to you. Thats how it works.
I felt I was getting the better deal. Whats so special about my body?
Its the only one that I want, thats what, said Jenny.
Really, you dont think you could find another one that would serve the sa purpose?
No. The emotional backlash would kill anyone else.
This was a sexual thing? My body was the only one that could stand to be at ground zero when Jenny detonated?
What about this body? I said, holding my arms to the side.
I would shred it in a night, said Jenny, which was both appalling, and also quite tempting to test.
You are both vile, disgusting animals, said Joshaya. You deserve each other. Our union had received his blessing, apparently. But his body will be claid by .
Jenny and Joshaya both seed determined to take possession of my body. Far more than Id ever wanted it.
Jenny began to glow around the head, like a halo. The face she was pulling wasnt very angelic, though.
Jenny, dont! called out Claire.
No one could move under the pressure of Jennys rage. Even I found it a little oppressive.
Joshaya, however, seed to be withstanding it, even though he was facing it at near-point-blank range. Or this new host was. Or his puppet.
I left my body and everything froze, including Jennys out of control mood swings.
The undead soldier Joshaya had taken control of had a single vine sticking out of him, as all his avatars did. It rose high into the sky, lost among all the other vines.
I floated over and grabbed it, writhing and pulsing in my hands, and began pulling. Joshaya controlled his minions from afar. That was how he liked to do things, but Id seen his true form.
It took a while I always hated rope-climbing in PE but the vine ca down slowly. I could have cut it, but that would just let Joshaya get away. The vine was quite thick and hard to get a good grip on, but I had the ti.
Wrapping the vine around the soldier made it easier to stop it slipping out of my hands. Joshaya eventually ca into view, a teeny tiny fairy desperately trying to fly the other way.
Once he was down to about eye-level, I let go and jumped back into my temporary body.
Ti restarted, as did Jennys wrath. This ti, Joshaya was directly in the firing line. He scread and both he and the body he was controlling flew backwards. Jenny was sent flying in the other direction.
I was the last man standing, which ant it was the perfect ti to do a runner. I turned and prepared to make for the nearest exit, but there was no way out. The ships that had been circling were all coming in to land.
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