I dispelled my light and we were plunged back into darkness. The sounds of the rats speaking echoed through the tunnels and around the chamber we were in, making it hard to tell exactly how far away they were, but they were definitely getting closer.
Their sharp tutting voices, like small hamrs bouncing off the walls, shifted from one tunnel to the next, sotis many at once. There were several groups and in all directions.
Footsteps and banging and the occasional shout, even what sounded like laughter, shrill and high-pitched. Flickering lights would appear at the far end of one of the tunnels, co closer, then turn into a side tunnel.
My heart was in my mouthit was only a matter of ti before they finally decided to investigate our hiding place.
Schneed, I whispered, what are they doing?
They are still searching, he whispered back. Whatever they look for, they have yet to find it. The tunnels are crawling with patrols, Ive never known so many to co this far into the haunted areas. They are usually too scared of the ghosts.
Normally, I would have taken a few monts to worry about the ghosts being real and deciding to make an appearance, but I didnt have the ti. Maybe if we could pretend to be ghosts, we could scare the rats off.
What do the ghosts sound like? I asked.
They dont sound like anything, said Schneed. Theres no such things as ghosts.
I was about to get annoyedit didnt matter if ghosts existed or not, only that the rats thought they didwhen there was so kind of excitent in the tunnels. Shouts at one end were followed by a triumphant yell at another and then lots of running. So kind of chase was taking place.
Schneed, I hissed. We could get to the surface while the rats are distracted.
My guess was we had to be close to the surface because of that dead dog. The Queens Guard sent them down thinking they had a rat problem, but there werent any rats in this part of the tunnels, not usually. Which ant the n were to bla for the holes that were appearing in Requbar.
I also suspected the n loafing on each street corner were lookouts. The way they had started an unwinnable fight with the Queens soldiers smacked of deliberate misdirection. Most likely they had been trying to keep the won away from where the digging was going on.
There was definitely contact between the surface and Boys Town and Schneed was one of the go-betweens. He could lead out of here, if I could convince him to do it.
The rats werent looking for us, which ant we might get by them if we kept quiet, moved quickly and got lucky. So, no chance. Although, if we all went into the tunnels at the sa ti, one or two of might get through in the ensuing confusion.
I didnt like that plan either. Especially since I had no idea where to go even if I did avoid the rats. But Schneed did.
The rats havent gone far, said Schneed. No p
The ground shook and rocks and stones fell around us. It only lasted a few seconds but it was long enough to knock off my feet and onto all fours.
There was so moaning and coughing around which might have given our position away except that the rats had reacted to the tremor with shrieks and yells that drowned out any noise we might make.
There was a drum roll of small feet fading into the distance as they made a run for it. Probably a good idea.
This is our chance, I said, producing another ball of light. Can you find a way to the surface while the rats are panicked?
It is better to stay here and wait to see what fate has in store for us, said Schneed, sat on the ground like he was perfectly at ho. The n huddled around him grumbled in agreent.
Great, the perfect ti to give up free will and self-determination. Lets sit around doing nothing and let the universe decide; bunch of useless hippies.
Schneed! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get up. We can make it out of here if we move now. Theres an exit to the surface, isnt there? Those dead dogs they keep dropping, they co out around here sowhere. We can get out the sa way. It was hard not to sound desperate (because I was desperate).
There was so muttering among the n.
Schneed narrowed his eyes at Marv and then turned his attention to . There are two possible exits. One is quite close but will require so digging which will likely attract attention. The other is much further and leads directly to the surface, but will almost definitely an encountering patrols. I will lead you and him he glared at Marv ...her to the further one. We will not go quietly, we will not avoid the rats. We will make a ruckus and drag them away, giving the rest a better chance to make their escape.
It was a reasonable offer, although I was tempted to suggest he just take Marv and Id stay with the n, you know, to help with the digging and provide better lighting, but I suspected my offer might be misconstrued.
Fine, I said. Well provide the diversion. You just get us to this exit. It was the sort of long shot that they always manage to pull off in movies, although tragically one of them usually doesnt make it. I looked at Marv.
Schneed stood up, as did the n around him. They all began hugging him, patting him on the back and shaking his hand. Marv watched from over my shoulder, like she was witnessing so alien ritual. This was how n were. I assud.
This way. He turned and ran off down one of the tunnels. Not wanting to lose him, I ran after him. Not wanting to be burden-free, Marv ran after .
At first, were just running down empty tunnels. There was no sign of the rats, no sound, no lights. Within a few minutes, though, we heard the familiar chittering.
Ho, dirty rats! shouted Schneed. We co for your won! He hollered and whooped and then ran away in a mad scramble.
He really ant to go full decoy. Sounds erupted all around us. Lights flickered in side tunnels as I stumbled and fell to catch up.
I produced more balls of light, extra-bright, and threw them down side tunnels to draw so of the attention away from Hollerin Hank. He wasnt letting up, shouting abuse about rat genitalia (Ive seen mice with bigger winkies!), their sisters and their mothers, as he darted left and right.
The balls exploded in blinding flashes, hopefully delaying the rats so more. I was fine with Schneeds plan, but I wanted to make sure we stayed the decoy and not the duck.
The light I was carrying was dimd to match the rats torches, hopefully making them think I was just another rat passing by. It only illuminated the ground in front of and Schneeds feet kept disappearing into the darkness ahead.
He was surprisingly quick and wasnt waiting for to catch up. I knew he was still upset about the whole betrayal thing, but that was more Marvs fault than mine. He really shouldnt have blad for her indiscretions. Mind you, he may have been blaming for setting fire to their lake of molten acid, ruining their plans to take over Requbar and causing the deaths of many of his friends, in which case, its a fair cop.
I nearly ran into Schneed crouched down at the mouth of the tunnel we were in. It opened up into a small cavern with many other tunnels leading from it. He signalled to get down.
Put out that light, he whispered.
I extinguished my glowing ball and imdiately got hit in the back as Marv ran into .
The chittering of rats could be heard in the distance, although there was no sign of any torchlight.
We need to get to the tunnel directly opposite, said Schneed. We cant use light. There are too many tunnels here and wed be bound to be seen. Can you make it in the dark?
It wasnt that far away, although if you lost your bearings you might easily go into the wrong tunnel.
Yes. The one directly ahead, right?
Thats right. Ill go first. Wait ten seconds and follow as fast as you can. The next thing I heard were his footsteps rushing away.
Marvs panted behind . I counted ten of her breaths and then ran after Schneed.
It was completely and utterly dark. Nothing to guide and nothing to stop running into a wall. I strained to hear Schneeds footsteps but it was hard to make out anything over my own.
Sothing changed, the open air around shrank. I put out my hand and felt a wall to my side. On both sides. I was in a tunnel. I hoped it was the right one. Could I use my light now? Probably best to wait. I kept going, jogging now.
I still couldnt pick up Schneeds footfalls, although I did hear Marv behind . I began to slow down.
Shneed? Schneed? I called out warily.
Sothing didnt feel right. Marv caught up and I felt her outstretched hands strike in the back.
What is it? Why are you stopping?
Whered Schneed go? I said. Had I missed a turning or a side tunnel?
He must be up ahead. Look.
In the distance there was a glow. Light at the end of the tunnel. But it couldnt be the outside world, we hadnt gone up at all.
Slowly I made my way forward. The light was a lot brighter than anything Id encountered down here so far. As I reached the opening I was blinded by the glare. It took a few seconds for my eyesight to adjust, and then I saw where the light was coming from.
It was a huge city. Tall buildings like skyscrapers, every window shining brightly, every golden roof glimring.
Spires and dos and walls. It was in a huge cavern and our tunnel was high up on the wall with a ledge that stretched out on either side, t with other ledges sloping up and down the cavern wall. Bridges connected to other platforms, all circling the city, closer and closer like soone had spent way too much money on Scalextric sets and stuck them all together.
And everywhere I looked, every surface, every building, every window, there were rats. So ard, so wearing elegant gowns and fancy hats, so riding large lizards that leapt off platforms and ran vertically up the walls.
I backed away from the opening, hoping I hadnt been seen, pushing Marv along as she stood there, open-mouthed.
What Why are we Did we take the wrong tunnel?
I doubted it.
Give my regards to the rats! called out Schneed from the far end. You deserve each other. Hahhahaha. His laughter faded away.
Whoever said revenge is sweet didnt know what they were talking about. This didnt taste sweet at all. I may be misunderstanding the quote. In any case, Schneed had stitched us up good and proper. Instead of leading us to freedom, hed taken us into the heart of the rat kingdomstraight to Ratopolis.
Id never find my way out without Schneed to guide , and there would be rat patrols everywhere.
Good thing Id been in this sort of position before or I might have started panicking.
Fuck. Shit. Bastard. I produced a ball of light and looked around but all I could see was Marv looking desperate and scared. Shit. Shit. Shit. Out of the way. I pushed her aside and ran to the other end of the tunnel. The light made visible but I had enough problems without stumbling around in the dark.
The cavern was empty. There were seven other tunnel entrances, including the one wed co from. There was no way of knowing which led where, so it didnt really matter which I picked.
Our best bet is to split up, I said. Which it may or may not have been, but I was tired of having Mata Hard-carry in tow.
We should stick together, she insisted, unsurprisingly.
If shed been a seasoned pro, thered be no problem. Id have welcod the help. But she just wasnt any good at this sort of thing. Whatever training shed had in the art of dealing death from the shadows, Id be willing to bet she didnt co top of her class. Shed choked when shed tried to kill Sonny and her confidence had been dropping ever since. She was a liability.
We just make an easier target together. Here. I gave her my ball of light. Take this.
She recoiled from it.
Look, its just a ball of light. If youre okay with the Queen using magic, I dont see why youre so worked up about using it. You realise the Queen must be a Visitor too, right?
Marv pulled an even more appalled face. I shoved the ball into her hands. It would help her see, but more importantly, it would help see her, so I could go in the opposite direction. And if she got spotted by the rats, well, I wouldnt mind the distraction.
Now, co on. I got up before she had ti to think and ran for one of the other tunnels.
She was right behind , of course. Id have to put so of that cardio Id been doing to good use to lose her. I sprinted into the tunnel and was imdiately knocked over by a figure coming the other way. And then slamd for behind as Marv fell on top of us both.
I pushed her off and sat up.
Sitting opposite , trying to shake his head clear, was a rat. About Flossies size, dressed in a green hooded cape and with a hairy brown face. And all the other features youd expect from a rat-person. He was alone, though, and didnt look ard.
He looked at with his beady black eyes, then at Marv, and then at the ball of light.
Put that thing out, he said in an urgent but hushed voice. Do you want them to find us?
I imdiately extinguished the light and we sat there in the dark. , the useless hermaphrodite assassin and the rat man. Worst sitcom idea ever.
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