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The Jester, all glowing twisted tentacles and bugged-out eyeballs, smiled and the endless depths of space glimred from between her lips. Sothing dark flashed across them. Her tongue?

And who is this you bring to ? The voice was like an abyssal echo. A tasty morsel for to snack on?

Id like to say having encountered the Jester in this place a number of tis I was now used to it. I could shake off the pain and tornt I was no doubt about to undergo as no big deal. Once youve been tortured and driven to the extres of suffering, the whole thing becos old hat, like eating a hot curry. The first ti you might shit fire and pebbledash your whole bathroom, but the hundredth ti, you can handle it. Hell, you might want to splash so Tabasco on that balti to give it so kick.

Id like to say that, but I couldnt. Pain at the top end is the sa as great heights of pleasure; more doesnt make you lose interest. If anything, it sharpens your focus.

Having said that, even though dread sank into my guts and wrapped my intestines around its neck like a scarf, I didnt feel the usual head to toe shakes or the lubrication of sweat on my face and pits.

No thrumming in my chest as my heart tried to hamr its way to freedom. No fear Id piss my pants, accompanied by the even greater fear of embarrassing myself in front of my torturer.

The reason for my sudden show of ttle wasnt growth of character, it was because I wasnt alone. Sohow Jenny had accompanied into the Jesters den.

What are you doing here? I asked her.

Jenny shook her hair out of her face and smiled. I saw you leaving, so I decided to tag along.

That explained nothing, but I was too distracted to press for a fuller answer. The first thing to surprise was her face. The welt that had marred half her face was gone. I barely noticed the scarring anymore, but seeing her whole again stung my eyes.

Im not the most emotional personno, its truebut the chance to see her again without disfigurent choked up. Because Im shallow? Because Im a huge nancy? Who knows? Emotions arent sothing you can control easily, especially when youve never owned any before.

And the other thing that caught my attention was the glowing sword in her hand.

Talk about burying the lead.

When I say glowing sword, I dont an lightsaberalthough that would have been awesoI an an actual sword, but insubstantial. A ghost sword.

Where did you get that? I asked her.

Jenny looked where I was pointing and her eyes widened with surprise. You gave it to .

When Id taken the crystal ball from her, Id handed her the wooden sword Id been holding. Sohow it had followed her into this place.

Stop ignoring ! scread Yuqi, startling both of us. If you wont cower like youre supposed to, we cant be friends anymore.

The luminous blue horns curled either side of the deranged eyes crackled and spat.

One minute, I said to Yuqi, which got her sparking even more, and turned to Jenny. Can I have the sword for a sec?

Jenny looked at the sword and then back at . She shook her head. No. I think Ill hang on to it.

But I know how to use it.

She swung the sword around. It left a trail of after-images behind each stroke. Seems pretty straightforward.

Im the leader, you know? Youre supposed to follow my orders. If it sounds like I was behaving like a petulant child, thatd be a fairly accurate assessnt.

In the real world and in bed, yes. In here? I think I should be the one to take care of Miss Stand-up Double-Ds.

Is this a jealousy thing again? Because I told you, Im not into... this. I pointed at the dynamo about to discharge its load all over us.

It wouldnt matter even if you were interested, said Jenny.

It wouldnt?

No. Youre a boy. You have hormones that make you lust after girl-shaped things. Thats just biology. The only thing that matters is what you do about it. Sa with girls. We have hormones that make us act unreasonable and moody sotis. Doesnt an Im going to chop your dick off for looking. She swung the sword around a bit more. Not for looking.

If you two have finished, Yuqi sizzled with irritation. I think you both need a reminder where you are and who chops dicks off around here.

This was a bit of a lop-sided threat, I felt. Why were they both talking about chopping off dicks when I was the only one who was carrying?

Yuqi disappeared and a slithering sound rushed towards us.

Jenny took a sideways stance and held the sword two-handed. She lifted it up to her shoulder like a baseball bat. When the fuck did she go all Conan the Destroyer?

I should have warned her that Yuqi wasnt going to observe the Marquis of Queensburys rules when it ca to fighting. The Jesters eyes reappeared behind Jenny and a lightning tree shot out of so unseen appendage, showering Jenny in sparks.

Jenny buckled, arching her back and splaying her arms wide. The sword remained in the grip of one hand, but so tight it shook.

Her whole body convulsed and trembled as she rose into the air. She hung like a puppet lifted by electrified strings. The lines twisted and Jenny was spun around to face her torntor.

A wet, gurgling laugh rang out. Little girl, how you dance, how you jig.

I watched this happen, unable to do anything. If I went any closer, the electric vines around Jenny would shock , too.

Its a horrible thing, to see soone you love suffer so, but it could have been worse. It could have been . That might sound callous, but won have a higher threshold for pain than us. Its what enables them to bear children and watch reality TV. Plus, it would do our relationship imasurable harm if she saw burst into tears and wet myself. Again.

While I tried to think of what to do, Jenny slowly raised her hands over her head, forcing them up one centitre at a ti, until she was able to grasp the hilt of the sword with both hands again. She tilted her head down. Her teeth were bared, tightly pressed together, grimacing against the pain. Her eyes sparkled blue with static.

The Jesters eyes flinched backwards but not fast enough. The sword ca scything down between them. And passed straight through.

There was no resistance, no cut. No blood flowed out. But Yuqi scread and her eyes blinked out of existence; literally.

The glittering net holding Jenny up vanished and she fell to the ground with a clatter.

I rushed over to her (better late than never). She was shaking but nothing seed to be broken.

Youve got so weird friends, she said.

Story of my life, I replied as I helped her to her feet.

Biiiitch! Yuqi ca rushing out of the darkness at ramming speed, horns lowered.

Jenny shoved in the chest, sending stumbling to one side. She twirled the sword like a baton, moving it from down by her right side to over her left shoulder. And then she did sothing Ive never seen anyone do outside of a movie. She jumped over the onrushing locomotive of death, inverting her body with balletic grace and slicing off one of the Jesters horns while hanging upside down.

Yuqis scream this ti escalated into a roar that shook bodily. I lost my footing and landed on my butt.

Jenny landed on the other side. Yes, it was the superhero landing, one knee down, one fist on floor.

Impressive? Yes. But no guy wants a girl that impressive, not unless his skills are at least one notch higher. Yes, its petty and insecure, but who isnt? You want a cool girlfriend, but you dont want her to earn more money, be funnier or smarter and you certainly dont want her to be the Black fucking Widow. Here, hold my purse while I take care of this... Its emasculating, even for soone not all that masculated to start with.

I skirted around Yuqi all hunched over in a tangle of amorphous tentacles and whimpering. Jenny was back on her feet, sword held out in front of her.

Where did you learn to do that? I asked her, trying my best not to sound pouty. Not sure I succeeded.

This isnt the real world, so I thought maybe it didnt follow real world rules. Its a bit like this movie I saw about this guy called Neo.

Yes, its called The Matrix.

Jenny pursed her lips. No, I dont think it was called that.

Jesus, not this again.

Get out, said Yuqi in between sobs, her face (if she had one) hidden under her writhing limbs; the broken horn flickered weakly on the ground next to her. A square of light opened behind us. Go back and do it all again. Fail again. Your type always do. Wait Confusion overtook her disdain. This door it doesnt go back in ti.

Because he isnt dead, said Jenny.

What? said Yuqi. A single eyeball peered out from between a wriggling curtain.

I didnt die, I said. We found a crystal ball, or sothing that looked like one. It sent us here. Do you know what it is?

No. There was a sudden spike of interest in her rumbling voice. The tentacles shook and trailed behind her as she spun around, both eyes open to the maximum, whites showing clearly all around the black centres. But if it allowed a way in, it can provide a way out.

I took an involuntary step back as Jenny took one forward. I really had to work on the whole masculinity thing.

We found your body, I said. We dont know how to wake you.

The eyes rose above us on a twisted candy cane of limbs, swinging from side to side as though pondering. They made drink a blue fluid. It filled with congealed darkness and ejected my spirit into this place. There must be a way to empty again. Then she swung back down, eyes fixed on . Or, if I cant get back into my own body, maybe I can take yours.

Jenny stepped in between us, sword erect in her hands. His body already belongs to .

Should I have been pleased by this statent or not? Made feel like a piece of at.

Yuqi, not looking so much like a jester with only one horn, backed off.

Jenny pointed her sword (and it was clearly her sword). If we carry out Colins plan and defeat the masters at the tournant, we can order them to do what we want. That includes reviving you. Trust him.

Yuqi hesitated before answering. You really think he can defeat them?

You think Id suck his cock otherwise?

Wait, was that a complint or a put-down?

Jenny lowered the sword. Strange how if Id beaten a girl into submission it wouldve just looked bad. Jenny does it, and she looks super cool. Wheres the equality in that, feminists?

Sohow, the two of them had co to an understanding. Part of felt like it had co at my expense, but I had no proof. If I interrupted to ask for clarification itd only make look pitiful, so I kept my mouth shut.

Go then, said Yuqi. I will wait until the tournant is over. And then we shall see.

Jenny turned around and took my hand. She led towards the glowing aperture. I think I may have been demoted to damsel in distress.

We passed through the shimring portal and when the glare faded and my vision unblurred, I was back in the treasury. The glass ball was in my hands and a third hand was on top of it. I followed the arm up to Jennys face. The scar was back, as well as the crooked grin.

Dont worry, love, I wont let her hurt you. She held out the wooden sword, offering it to .

Keep it, I said. You seem to have a knack for it. Sour grapes? Maybe.

The others were standing around us, looking concerned.

What happened? asked Claire.

Ill tell you later. We need to go back and get ready for the tournant.

What about Bao? said Phil. We cant leave him here.

If we carry out the plan and defeat the masters at the tournant, we can order them to do what we want, I said, using Jennys line. That includes releasing Bao. Trust .

Phils gaze drifted in the direction his wall-bound friend.

Hes been stuck here for sixteen years, I added. One more day wont make a difference.

Phil nodded. We took only the globe, the wooden sword and the plastic crucifix (it might have so hidden properties, lead paint poisoning at the very least). There was no point taking the other items as wed have to use ti-stop to get past the golems.

And then there was the problem of 288. How could I make sure he didnt reveal all to Mr Biscuit? He was still bent over waiting for his punishnt. I took a step and kicked him up the arse so hard he bounced off the opposite wall, which raised my spirits a little.

Was I really so contemptible that taking out my insecurities on a little imp made feel better about myself? Short answer, yes. But, as Jenny herself said, its in our biology to act like idiots every now and again. Helps flush it out of the system, I guess.

Jenny was not my rival. Or my subjugator. She didnt want to push down, she wanted to help lift up. I knew that deep down even if I didnt always appreciate her thods, as Im sure she didnt always appreciate mine. But I respected her. Would I let her suck my cock otherwise?

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