Normally, you would expect the guy to steal a kiss from the girl, and the girls the one to slap him. When was my life ever normal?
Of course, a man should never hit a woman. And he definitely shouldnt hit a woman whos carrying a dagger. Jenny didnt reach for the blade at her waist, she just looked at with surprise.
I looked away and stared intently at the ground. I could have apologised and generally grovelled for her to forgive , that would be the normal thing to do. I hadnt hit her very hard, but that was hardly the point.
Once I took responsibility, it would be ga over. My position of moral superiority would be forfeit and Id never be able to get it back.
She was the one in the wrong. Yes, I overreacted and did sothing terrible, but that didnt take away from what she did. Using the thing I was weakest againstaffectionto manipulate , to get to do whatever she wanted, was reprehensible.
Right?
I did what anyone would do when theyve made a mistake they dont want to admit to. I blad her.
You shouldnt have done that. Its not fair. I was trying my best to sound pissed off and indignant, like I had been horribly wronged, but it was hard because what I really felt was horribly shitty about what Id done.
Jenny didnt say anything.
You you shouldnt use your body to get guys to do what you want. Great, now I was calling her a slut. Youre better than that.
Jenny still didnt say anything. I looked up from the patch of grass I had been focused on. Jenny was looking at , very calm. Her lip was bleeding. Not a lot; a red bead had ford on her bottom lip. I must have caught the inside of her mouth on her teeth.
I reached out my hand. I can heal that.
Her hand shot out and grabbed by the wrist. No, she was unsettlingly calm. I dont want you to heal . I want you to look at .
My gaze imdiately returned to the ground.
Colin, you hit .
I It wasnt I didnt an
You hit , Colin.
You kissed ! It sounded a lot less idiotic in my head.
What do you think of guys who hit won?
This isnt like that.
Its exactly like that. She still had by the wrist. Her grip tightened. What would you call a guy who hits a woman, Colin?
Scum, I whispered.
Then why did you do it?
I looked up at her, angry because she was forcing to admit my cri even though we both knew I was guilty. You know why.
Because of a kiss? You think thats why you abandoned everything you believe you are? Would you ever let a girl or anyone elsetake that away from you?
She was right. She had kissed , but so what? Was I a fucking child that one kiss could wreck so hard?
What happened while we were gone, Colin?
This has nothing to do with that.
This has everything to do with that. Tell .
She was a smart girl. Physical affection hadnt worked, but now she had a nice, solid block of guilt to work with. She was out of my league in even more ways than I had realised. I had no fallback position.
It didnt matter that she had provoked , that I hadnt ant to hit her, that I could easily refuse to accept any wrongdoing on my part and stay in control of the situation. The only opinion that mattered was mine, and I wasnt too impressed with myself.
The laser-sharp pain in my chest I thought I had quashed glimred to let know it was still there, waiting.
I took a deep breath. May-May had a kid.
Once I started I couldnt stop. As I spoke, my wrist still held in her vice-like grip, tears rolled down my face. When I finished, the tears turned to sobs.
She let go of my wrist. Her arms encircled my neck and she pulled towards her. I resisted at firstonce I allowed myself to accept her warmth, Id be lostbut she was ruthless. She drew into her chest, my face rested on the irresistible softness and I lted.
I lied. Jenny kissed the top of my head. What I said to Claire and Flossie was a lie.
I was confused. Which part?
The part where I said I dont know how I feel about you. The part where I said I dont think about kissing you, touching you, that I havent had dreams about you all of it.
If she wanted to backtrack a little so as not to hurt my feelings, I would understand, but she was denying it all, which made no sense whatsoever. Why?
Because its embarrassing. That I could understand. If I said I liked you and then you rejected , Id look like a fool. If I said I wasnt interested and then I ended up with you sohow, I could always say Id had a change of heart. Theyd accept that.
I pushed myself off her chest (which took so determination) and looked her in the face. Wait. Why would I reject you?
She sat up. Youve always pushed away, right from the first day. I tried everything, but you werent interested.
So youre saying you were interested in from the first day?
She nodded.
What are you talking about? How could you have been?
I knew it when you had the panic attack.
Youre saying thats what attracted you to ? Maybe she was ntal. It was the only thing that would make it plausible.
You knew we werent back ho anymore. You knew before anyone. You didnt handle it all that well, but you were way ahead of everyone else. I wanted to be on your team but you rejected . She gritted her teeth. I know Im not a fucking princess, but you could have at least given a chance.
The princess thing threw little. Are you talking about Laney?
How many princesses do you have fawning over you?
Shes thirteen!
So? She wont be for long. And shes a fucking princess.
She had a real issue with the whole princess thing.
I dont like Laney, I like you. I always have.
She didnt look entirely convinced. She leaned forward and began unbuttoning my clothes.
What are you doing?
What do you think Im doing? Ive waited long enough.
I froze. She wanted to have sex. This wouldnt end well. It never ended well. Id only had two sexual partners and both had left their mark on , and not in a good way.
It probably seems like a weird reaction. Whatever problems I might have had in the past, the girl I liked, who I found incredibly attractive, wanted to sleep with . I should have been jumping up and down with joy. I guess the only way to explain is to tell you about the two other girls.
The first, lets call her Hiroshima, I t at a Christmas works do. I had only recently left school and started working. I was seventeen. I didnt know the people very well and was quite shy.
She was the sister of one of my co-workers who was visiting and got brought along because his wife couldnt be bothered. She was older than , but not by a lot, and we were both far younger than everyone else. She wasnt much of a talker either but we ended up seated next to each other in an Indian restaurant in Enfield Town.
Over the course of the evening we started chatting and we got on. You have to rember this is back when I still believed my life was the sa as everyone elses. A job, a girl, a place of my ownthe possibilities were endless. And I could even be charming when I put my mind to it. Well, I could fake interest in what other people were saying.
Through a series of cleverly worked manoeuvresmainly relying on her brother being very drunkI got her back to my place.
Things followed the normal course of events and we ended up naked and entwined. So far so good. My main concerns were not getting too over-excited too quickly, if you know what I an, and not making her feel she was just so girl I picked up for a shag. I liked her.
It wasnt until she started crying that I realised sothing was wrong. Everything had gone smoothly up to that point, and even the joining together of our two sweaty bodies had passed off without a hitch. I was inside her, things were rubbing together in pleasurable ways, and then the waterworks.
It turned out she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, the love of her life since she was fourteen. He had t soone else and her dream was dead.
I offered to stop but she insisted I carry on. She needed this to get over him.
Finding out she didnt really like that way and I was just a ans to an end was disappointing, but sex is sex. If this was going to be how my first ti was going to be, at least Id have got it out of the way. Im all about the romance.
The problem was she couldnt stop thinking about him. Or talking about him.
The things they liked to do together, the plans they had for the future, the nas of their kids theyd decided on. Weeping and talking and occasionally encouraging to keep going. It wasnt very sexy.
Heres the thing about masturbation. No matter how many tis Ive done it, Ive never had a really bad one. Ive never felt like, Oh, that was a bit disappointing, think I wont bother any more. But my first ti, when I did eventually orgasm, it didnt so much explode as pop.
The fluids drained out of and that was that. I had lost my virginity but it felt more like Id been robbed.
The second ti, the girl, lets call her Nagasaki, was a student nurse with a very large personality and a stunning figure.
I wasnt one for going down the pub after work, but I went along occasionally to be sociable. Yes I know, hard to believe I could be sociable once upon a ti.
She was very attractive and latched onto without my having to do anything. Which was great. We got back to mine and she made all the moves, started stripping the mont the door was closed, had naked on the bed in no ti.
The only thing she insisted was that I wore a condom and that it was properly on, which was fine by . Nice to et soone so responsible.
The sex started off great. As we were going at it she told it had been a long ti since shed had sex and how much she missed it.
As things got really passionate, she decided it was only right she tell she had herpes. But it was fine because I was wearing a condom and also she hadnt had an inflammation in so ti.
Obviously I felt uncomfortable and started to work on an exit strategy. I didnt want to be rude, but I didnt want my dick to fall off either. I realise herpes doesnt work like that, but I was just a kid.
Then she inford she also had gonorrhea but it had more or less cleared up, and there was also the slight chance she was HIV positive, but she hadnt got the results back yet.
I panicked and tried to get out, but she wrapped her legs around my waist and wouldnt let go. Youd think I would at least lose my erection, but she had amazingly well developed vaginal muscles that locked on and pumped to completion, all the while offering reassurances everything was fine.
I went and got checked out by the doctor and luckily everything was fine, but it left sowhat traumatised. I decided to wait for the right girl to co along, but she never did. Until now.
Jenny took control of the situation, at least for the first ti. She could see I was like a deer in headlights and did all the heavy lifting. It wasnt passionate or wild, it was creating a connection and confirming our feelings for each other. It was also over very quickly.
Sorry, I
Itll be better next ti
I lay on my back, bathed in sweat, every last scintilla of energy blasted out of . What makes you think Ill be able to get it up again?
She leaned over and grinned. Hope. Her head disappeared from view.
The next two tis were much better all around. By the end of the second, with a little coaching from Jenny, I even got her to climax. After that I fell asleep.
When I woke the next morning, the light ache in my cock and the naked girl next to were ample proof it hadnt been a dream. She was sitting cross-legged watching .
I put my hand out and rested it on her thigh. She didnt flinch or move away, she just smiled and adjusted herself to make it easier for to reach whatever I wanted to reach.
Her lip was still a little bruised.
You should let heal that.
No. I want you to rember what youre capable of when you bottle things up and try to do everything on your own.
It was an and calculated, but entirely within her rights. Well played.
You need to tell people what you want them to do. We all want to help you.
Was this how it would be from now on? Her giving instructions. They say behind every great man theres a woman with blood on her hands. Can I tell you what I want you to do. I slid my hand along her thigh.
Yes, Id like that very much. And once you teach how to do magic, Ill be able to My hand stopped moving. What?
I looked at her.
No. Her look of mild confusion narrowed to one of annoyance. Colin, you cant think I slept with you just to get you to teach magic. Fucker! You do think that. No. No!
She pushed my hand off her leg and started pulling her clothes on. I cant believe you. Fuck you! You really think that? Fuck. FUCK!
She put the rest of her clothes on in a rage, and then crawled out of the tent. I hadnt said a word, but it did seem like a possibility. Certainly more likely than her being madly in love with from the first day we t.
I sighed. Oh well, it had been nice while it lasted. I fell asleep again.
I woke to the sound of Jenny coming back in. I dont know how long it had been since she stord out. Not long I dont think.
She began removing her clothes again. Its fine. Forget about the magic. Well just stick to sex and watching out for each other. If you feel like you trust enough at so point, fine. If not, thats fine too. Just, no princesses, okay?
Naked once more, she crawled back into my arms and pressed her flesh against mine. Was she manipulating ? Did I care?
After we had sex again, I left the tent. It was still early and a bit chilly. The trolls stood silently waiting for us to get ready, like so Stonehenge cosplay. The others were sat around the fire looking at . There was only one tent and it wasnt soundproofed.
Sorry if we made a lot of noise. My whole body felt different, like sothing had clicked in my back and I could walk straight after years of stooping.
Jenny ca out behind . The other girls got up and the three of them went off without a word.
Where are they going? I said.
Girl stuff, said Maurice. Illuminati dont even co close.
I looked at the two of them, Maurice poking the fire and Dudley checking over his arrows. They were relaxed and calm even though death could be right around the next corner. Content n or doormats?
I suppose you heard everything.
And then so, said Maurice.
I should coco, said Dudley.
Maurice pushed his slipping glasses back up his nose. And then Jenny ca out here and started calling you all sorts of nas. The girl has a very filthy mouth. Congratulations.
Thanks.
Do you really think she only slept with you so youd teach her magic?
When put like that it sounded pretty cold and heartless. I dont know. Maybe.
Maurice shook his head. Well, nobody else thinks that. We all offered to teach her instead.
Oh. They might not have been as proficient as , but they knew the basics well enough. That must have cheered her up. It explained why she ca back into the tent.
Not really. She refused. Said it had to be you. If you didnt trust her there was no point.
If she wanted to learn magic, she could easily from the others, but then why hold out for to do it? Either she genuinely wanted to trust her, or... maybe she was playing the long con.
Do you love her? asked Dudley. He usually said little and even more rarely instigated a conversation, so I was surprised by the direct question.
I think so.
Dudley gave the sad smile of a fellow sufferer. Then what does it matter? Its already too late for you. Teach her magic. If she betrays you, so be it.
At least shell be able to take care of herself after she kills you in your sleep, said Maurice.
They both had enormously open hearts when it ca to the people they loved. Idiots. I had no intention of being defeated so easily.
We have visitors, said Keezy all of a sudden, nearly making jump out of my skin. He was looking high into the air.
I followed his gaze but couldnt see anything. Dudley stood up and nocked an arrow to his bow.
Put that away. If you anger them were all dead.
After so intense squinting I could see three figures, maybe more, approaching. Who are they?
The Draconic Guard. Cheng must have sent them.
As they got closer they looked like winged n, only not n. They had reptilian heads with large crests that ran all the way down their backs and along their tails. Their leathery wings flapped in long slow movents.
The girls returned to find us all staring at the sky and joined in.
Fookin hell, said Flossie. Dragon n.
Even with a wingspan like that, they shouldnt be able to fly, said Maurice.
Neither should the bumblebee, I pointed out.
Thats a myth. If you perform an extrely crude calculation, sure, but a full aerodynamic computation will show that the bumblebee's flight operates perfectly within the laws of physics.
Six of them landed a few tres away, sending up much dust and debris, and the largest one, who was blue, stepped forward.
Ah, little Keezy. Its been a while. He was larger than Keezy by no small margin. And the Worm King. Ha ha, who would have thought it would be young Kungen?
What do you want, Hitokag? said Keezy.
Not you. Which one of you is Colin?
Him, I pointed at Maurice.
Hitokag ignored where I was pointing and walked up to . He stooped to get a better look. His body radiated heat so intense I had to take a step back.
Hmm. He didnt sound impressed. Cheng has summoned you. You will co with us.
Id rather not, if its all the sa to you.
He sent this. He held out a scroll.
I took it and opened it. There was one word written on it:
Please
Which was surprising, but not as surprising as the fact it was written in English.
AN: I'm taking a week off. Next chapter will be up on RRL on Wednesday 27th July. For more details and other news, please check out the next post which can be found HERE.
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