[Affirmative.]
"...i see."
ta's plain affirmation was more than all i needed to know that nothing truly was within my control. But wether or not the affirmation was that of confirming all of my actions leading up until the mont i killed Nicodemus was part of the bigger plan, or what my options and new circumstances after getting branded with a Devil's Karma were, or even, perhaps both, i wasn't sure.
Right from the very beginning, the mysterious nature of ta and the system left uneasy. The idea that the concept of my life and existence was by the rules and laws of so other, every of my actions dictated like a predetermined move of chess, had always been weighing on . It would be a lie for to say i hadn't thought about it all this years.
There's nothing more terrifying than not knowing the true intentions or target and goals of another. This led one to continue to play in their palms, wether aware or completing oblivious to that fact. They held the cards and directions, while i, the pawn piece, was forced to move accordingly.
In fact, it almost didn't matter at all if i knew i was clearly being manipulated right now. As of today, ta hadn't even been shy enough to admit my life up until now was all a series of controlled variables. I was a gear in a larger series of machination. Yet even if i knew that, what could i do about it?
ta's boldness at openly admitting to that fact went to show how little, powerless and insignificant my opinion on that was. I didn't like it, i was never fund of being oppressed or given an ultimatum, even in my last life on earth. I hated that i was forced to act out the role and na that was giving up to , and ended up fighting aggressively against it. But that in of itself, ironically, only went to make it all the more inevitable.
My eyes were hollow as i stared up at the ceiling, my thoughts drifting across my mind with a cold, detached indifference.
As long as i didn't know the true purpose behind my reincarnation into this world — the real intentions of the system or the one who set up on this controlled path, i could only continue to play along. It wasn't even pretending to anymore, i had no other choice.
ta knew that.
For now.
But my thoughts about the system or ta has always remained the sa and never changed since the beginning. Right from the beginning I've never trusted it, and i would be a fool to think that i was blessed or lucky.
The bottom line was that, the system wanted stronger for so reason —hah, actually, with everything that's happening right now, I'm not so sure about that either anymore — and it wanted to do so in a specific kind of manner.
I had this deep feeling that they way the system could make stronger was the only way — the right way — i had to be my strongest.
'A variable...'
The most uncertain variable of all. ta's words of earlier rattled like resounding chains in my head. I felt the irony in that recollection.
A variable was sothing uncertain and tending to deviate from normal, with diverse branches, results and outco. Basically it had infinite and endless potential for infinite and endless things. Didn't that an i had infinite and endless potential, then? Yet i was supposed to have hit the wall on my talent.
Maybe, maybe not. But this was exactly where the system and and its machinations ca in place.
The best way for to beco the strongest of my potential — the greatest variable — was by the system. The irony of it all was all but mocking directly in the face.
I didn't like it or want to be controlled by the unknown intent of so higher power or whatever — things like destiny, ot even fate — but only by doing so would i reach my true peak.
But it would be a big mistake on the side of whoever is behind all this if they thought i would just let myself continue to be controlled. In fact, the only reason why the chains and constraints of ta's influence over my life felt so heavy and suffocating right mow was because of how weak i was. My powerlessness made it all seem insurmountable.
But wouldn't the shackles and constraints begin to wane the more powerful i beca?
"There are a few things i don't get. How co the Academy was able to miss the Curse Mark on despite all the tests and processess? And shouldn't i be worried about this? Even though I don't use my Ether, sothing tells the Karma will only continue to integrate into my body until I'm completely consud."
I blinked my eyes, regaining certain level of composure from my thoughts as i continued to stare expressionlessly at the ceiling. ta's synthetic voice vibrated in its usual unsympathetic and detached manner.
[The nature of your curse mark eas hidden by the Crown's Veil Enchantnt of the Ring of Solomon. And as for the matter of what to do about the Karma, there is no need to worry.]
"What?"
[If you were anyone else, perhaps having a Devil's Karma will be no different than having considering your life as already over. But in your case it's different. It is true that the Karma will only continue to integrate with your body overti but that is it. All that would be left is what you choose to do about it.]
ta said without bothering to elaborate more on the details, causing to frown again. I wasn't sure what ta was talking about, my knowledge about Curse Marks and Karma was abysmal. I didn't even know such a thing existed until a couple of minutes ago.
All i knew was that a Devil's Karma prepared the body of a target as a potential vessel for a Demon. That ant, at so point, i would completely loose all sense of myself, all traces of my existence would be erased — replaced instead by the soul of a Demon wearing my skin. I would be no different from being dead.
But ta was saying the direct opposite of that right now.
'Is there sothing I'm missing sowhere? There definitely is. My knowledge about this topic is still too shallow, i need to make my own personal extensive research.' my thoughts trailed in the flash of a second.
Of course, i could always just ask ta about more of Curse Marks and Karma, but now I've beco even more conscious that there might be a couple of details conveniently filtered out by the system to forward its intent with .
I decided to take ta's words with a grain of salt, while throwing my own reverse spin on the interpretation.
If ta said i didn't have to worry about the Karma, like i expectedly should, then I only had to worry about it in a completely different manner.
Maybe not of the sense that I'll have a Demon invade and take over my body...but sothing much worse or different.
'ta already has Imrsion to take control of my body, so what's the use of having a Karma for that purpose? Unless... I'm thinking about it from a different direction? What other functions or aspects are there in a Curse Mark? I really know next to nothing about this...'
My thoughts were spinning and my mind was racing with various speculations, my expression remaining as still and motionless on the outside as ever, however.
In the end, i made a few plausibilities and personal conjectures, but nothing concrete or certain at the mont.
Damn... sotis i just wished i could directly see through ta's intentions, half lies and truths. There really was nothing i could take at face value from the damned system.
My eyes flickered the next mont. 'What if i could?'
At the sa ti, i rose and sat up, leaning forward, in thought as a sudden realisation hit like a bolt of lightning from above.
Maybe i couldn't see through ta for now... but what about the system?
[There's still one more reward available to receive.]
"Huh? Oh...uh, yeah. Hold on."
ta's words brought out of my daring thoughts, but i simply shrugged them off, dismissing the third reward for the anti, my thoughts quickly reverting back to my previous thought process.
Despite everything, there was actually a clear distinction between the System and ta despite both seeming to be entirely one and the sa. And maybe they truly were, but it went far more than just that.
ta had said so herself, she wasn't a cheat or a skill, she was a Guide.
ta was like an ai function of a device. What if that statent of it ran more literal than it seed?
ta's function ca up the mont i unlocked the first sequence of the system. It was also at the sa ti that i finally had access to see my stats and skills.
What if ta was a highly advanced Guide for the system, as she was a Guide to making more easily adapt to the world of Aethoria. In truth, it was thanks to ta that i had even more quickly gotten used to the world and my situation.
So ta and the system were both one and the sa, but were also distinctively set apart at the sa ti.
====
•[DING!]
»[Do you wish to receive the reward: 'Location of a fragnt of the God-slaying spear, Goliath' now?]
»[Yes/No]
====
I stared at the new system tab that suddenly appeared, distracting from my thoughts briefly.
My thoughts seed to reach a pause imdiately as i quickly realised the content of the third and last reward, and i couldn't do anything to stop the excitent and anticipation from reaching my eyes.
But...
"...No."
Not now at least...
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