"I want you to stay."
What type of relationship did i have with this strange and unusual guy who was the prophecied Hero, shackled with the burden of the fate of the whole world against his shoulders in the near future?
Friendship? No, even though I refuse to acknowledge what it isn't, our 'connection' on the surface is far too shallow to amount to be called friends, but also far much deeper than to be described by such a simple word.
As much as i knew, Alexander was a stranger to , especially if it weren't for the vague, little knowledge and 'mory' i had of the future. But it was entirely because of this aspect and knowledge that seed to be redefining the nature of my interaction with Alex. It was also why i couldn't just call us friends...we were far from that.
In the first place, what was a friend? The value placed entirely on that concept was subjective and diveres to many. For example, Alexander seems to see and call a friend, but i was terrified with amazent at that. Even going as far as wishing to deny it.
Maybe, in the first place, i wasn't one for understanding what friendship ant and was all since this whole thing more or less began with a 'friend' putting a bullet in my lungs. And that may aslo go to connote i had a terrible affinity and experiences with friends.
But it remained, the one thing holding and entangling Alexander and i, and perhaps maybe others soon to co, in this twisted thread of emotions and interaction...was the knowledge of the future.
Alex might not have any knowledge of what the future entials, but i do. And because of that,y interactions with him up until now has been defined, molded and shaped entirely with that fact in mind. It was all up to how i was interpreting it and acting on it.
In the first place i was very cautious and Extre sensitive about my level of interaction and direct involvent with Alexander and his life. If there was one thing about the twisted nature and reality about knowing too much, and possessing knowledge of the future, is that the more you know, the more you're chained and binded by it and the more you know less.
Who knew, maybe it could be as a result of getting close to Wlex and snuggling up all cosily to him that the future turned out just like that. At the sa ti, it may as well be a result of knowing the future and deciding to play it safe — to safe — by instead avoiding Alexander moderately while operating from the sidelines that led to the destruction of the world. Regardless, the catalyst for with of this begins with having limited knowledge of the future.
So in so way, instead of having an advantage, one could say i was scamd.
All of these together constituted to why my thoughts and emotions concerning Alexander wasn't so simple. And up till now i decided to hide it behind a frustrated and exasperated facade whenever i saw him. It was true, i was uneasy and all of that was childish, but i also don't know why i did so.
It was the sa way i also don't know why i suddenly said what i just did. I wasn't sure why i wanted Alexander to stay during this mont now either.
Alexander seed obviously surprised, shock even, in his expression and actions as he gaped at slightly with parted lips. I reeled back my thoughts and calmly looked back at the Doctor.
It was subtle but my senses and instincts seed to have noticed and reacted to the way the doctor had sent a silent glance at Alex as if asking for my opinion on him being present for this. It seed the diagnosis and results of my tests...had sothing more to them.
My lips parted and I inhaled. "Go on."
The overworked doctor didn't have much of a reaction to my allowing Alex remain through this as it was a matter of my choice entirely. He nodded slowly, shifting the fras of his glasses as he reached out to receive the clipboard handed to him by the nurse behind.
"First, it is important to point out that the state you were brought in a couple weeks ago out of the dungeon was quite severe. It wouldn't be an understatent to say that how you were still alive, and even managed to survive like this, was a miracle."
"The good news was, you seed to have broken through a Rank at that ti, and the consequent process of your physical structure breaking down and becoming more robust to contain your new level of power by expelling impurities and making your body and bones denser managed to offset so of your most dangerous and life threatening wounds by forcing them to recover or receede."
When the doctor said this factly i glanced at Alex and noticed there wasn't a change in expression, which ant he sohow already seed to be aware of my breakthrough.
"But the bad news was," the Doctor continued drawing a breath.
He hesitated for only a brief second, his voice becoming heavier.
"You broke through in such a state. Your body and mind was in an utterly terrible state that it normally shouldn't have been able to accommodate a breakthrough process. In fact, it would have been more likely that you died halfway before your advancent could succeed."
"But I didn't, and here i am." I said slowly, my gaze lingering longer.
The doctor nodded.
"And there lies the problem. One of it. Your body was in absolutely no state to facilitate a breakthrough, it barely even had enough strength to keep you alive. Yet not only did you successfully breakthrough and live to tell the tale, but indirectly, you managed to survive as a result of your advancent offsetting and healing your body by expelling the injuries as impurities. Without sufficient energy, this process which could be called nothing short of a miracle, was only possible because a fraction of your life force was substituted as the energy required to complete this breakthrough."
"Although your injuries were forcefully healed, they were too severe and your breakthrough was even more forceful. In other words, breaking through in such a state at that mont pushed you exceedingly beyond your limit, and you were already teetering by the edge. You've sacrificed more energy and life force in a lifeti in one breakthrough than many ever have in multiple advancents."
The doctor's words settled, although he didn't seem to be done yet. I closed my eyes for a mont, opened them and said calmly, the leisure and nonchalance of my voice contrasting greatly with the atmosphere that hung.
"You said one of the problem. What are the others?"
"Yes. We also noticed this, but could it be you had been on a tight bottleneck in your advancent for a while before? Perhaps a couple of months, or years even?"
I nodded. "Yes, there was a period where all of my attempts and efforts at breaking through was for naught."
"Indeed. That's because your 'vessel' and body had been wringed out and strained over a long period of ti. All of the energy you desperately seed to try and amass for your advancent was lost and only spilled out of your body and core like filling a basket with water. It's not a rare condition for the Awakened, but it is severe. Enough so that if left uncheck for too long, this condition that just seed like a Bottleneck could evolve into sothing far much worse and crippling to those unlucky."
"Now, not only were you in a state of being half-dead, but you also sohow managed to successfully force an advancents through a Rank and breakthrough all at the sa ti at once. I... I'm afraid the back lash and consequences have been too generous."
"What?"
Alex at that mont shut up from his sit with a heavy expression. This didn't seem like sothing he knew about compared to before.
"What are you talk about?"
"Alex, calm down."
And in contrast to the whole thing, i was the one calm and mild mannered despite being the victim and subject to all the disclosure. Of course i had my own various thoughts about all of this, but...what was the use of getting all flustered right now?
There was a swirling coldness of darkness in my gut.
I turned back to the doctor, gazing even more calmly. My thoughts seed to flow as serenely as water even.
I wanted to hear it all.
What was the cost i had to pay for taking Nicodemus's life?
"Doctor, go on. What is all this supposed to an? Enough with all the words and formalities, i don't care for it all. Give it to straight. What's wrong with ?"
Not strangely enough, i wanted to laugh bitterly and mock myself like always, it felt like asking the doctor 'how long left do i have to live?'
But maybe, considering the implications of what he said next, it was no different than doing just that.
The doctor took of his glasses, looking more dreary than ever. His lips parted.
"First year cadet, 1499, Victor Bright. It's unfortunate to say this to soone so young, but I'm afraid this is where your career as an Awakened ends."
"You have reached the limit of your potential."
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