Chapter 87 - Was It On Purpose?
"You know the best part about this, Neia? I'm just joking." I smiled at her.
Get pranked, big gurl.
"…Eh?" She stupidly grunted.
"You take things way too seriously, Neia. Just take a step back and relax. Why so serious?"
Like, what, is this the first ti a 12-year-old child has joked with you? Grow up, mate.
"…" She continued staring at like a broken doll.
"Um, hello?"
Hmm, did I go too far with my prank?
"You fucking piece of shit!" She suddenly pounced on .
Unable to handle her tackle (cuz I don't have any arms), I fell backwards and toppled down the boulder.
Neia followed the sa route as (except that she fell forwards).
By the end, I was lying on the ground while she was straddling .
"Aww, fuck, what was that for- oof!" My complaint was interrupted by a punch to the face.
Aight, looks like she took the joke WAY too seriously.
"Whoa, hold on- guh!" Another punch landed on my face.
Welp, the Dragon is serious.
I tried to raise my hands to defend myself but only got another punch to the face; right, I had no arms.
Separating my arms from my torso is really coming to bite back.
Fuck.
Let's just hope she doesn't disfigure my face too much; I was planning to pick up girls this evening.
However, Neia abruptly stopped before the fourth punch could connect, her first centitres away from my face.
"Weren't you supposed to have zero attack power?"
Her hits hurt, that much I can tell ya.
"…"
"It would seem I have stepped on a landmine. Bruh."
Huh, to think my plan would work that well.
My genius scares (even though this series of events was just a coincidence).
Did so part of my fake history resonate with her on a level much deeper than I was expecting it to?
"…" With a hellfire burning behind her eyes, she slowly and wordlessly withdrew her fist.
There was not a semblance of the forr, gentle Neia in the woman sitting atop . It was as if my words had unleashed a beast who would not go back until it drank the blood of 69 virgins.
"Thank you- guh!" Alright, she got there.
Also, that was a cheap shot, Neia.
What a fucking asshole. I hope she burns in hell for attacking a cripple.
Hmmm? 'You provoked her into this, you piece of shit, mistake of a human!', you say?
Lalalalalalalalalalal, I can't hear you.
With that final punch, Neia got up. After glaring at one last ti, she turned around and started walking away.
"Ah, wait, what about healing ?" I asked.
"Fuck off." She replied without even looking back.
The next mont, she turned into her Dragonoid form and flew away, leaving armless in a forest full of monsters.
Okay, seems like she's more furious than I thought. I doubt she'll be coming back anyti soon.
And you know what that ans? A golden opportunity to get eaten by the monsters of this forest.
Thought that would be a bit anticlimactic, now that I think about it.
Dying at the hands of so pathetic monsters after pulling off one of the greatest combos of my career would be a bruh mont for .
But this is still a good opportunity to abandon this mistake of a life and move on to the next one.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Well, whatever the option I chose, in my current state, the monsters would find by the sll of my blood and kill nonetheless.
So, what should I do?
I guess it would be a sha to not see the fruits of my labour with my own eyes after working so hard for them.
Also, this is a good opportunity to test out of my newest creation.
In other words, I'll have to let go of this chance.
Ultra sed.
And so, I walked to my bag, which had been flung away when Neia attacked .
Using my superb footwork, I opened the bag, took out a small potion bottle with clear liquid inside it, and flung it up.
Then I caught it in my mouth and crushed it with my teeth.
Ouch.
The shattered glass pierced my mouth and tongue in several places, but I gulped down the potion. So glass shards also went down my throat.
Ouch.
However, the potion started its work as soon as I drank it.
The next mont, from the ends of my shoulders, grotesque masses of at jutted out.
They squird and wriggled, as if they were a group of earthworms, until they took the shape of my arms,
Then they underwent a qualitative change until what I was left with were arms which were as good as they were 2 hours ago.
"Khoff! Khoff!" I coughed vigorously to get the glass shards out my system.
30 seconds after I drank the potion, I was back to my forr self.
Alas, my clothes weren't, so my arms were exposed to the sun shining down upon .
Good grief, I should have applied so sunscreen before coming here. I'm going to get sunburned at this rate.
I picked up my bag and walked to a big tree. Its shade provided respite from the asshole sun above.
Anyway, what should I do now?
Given her state she had walked away, I don't think that overreacting baby is going to return anyti soon. She'll do it after she has cald down.
There's the possibility that she just left for dead.
That would be a yikes from .
Well, whatever, it's not like this is the first ti soone who was supposed to take care of left in a forest to die.
Looks like my luck with families is not that great in this life.
Anyway, I don't wanna go back so soon, so let's try creating a new World Record in the dungeon. I'll give myself 5 chances to get the sub 3-minute mark.
If I succeed, I'll treat myself to a good al in the best restaurant in the city.
And if I fail, well, I'll still treat myself to the sa al because it's important to take care of yourself.
Let's go, we have a-
??Was it on purpose???
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
[Why are you back?]
I was having such a great ti without you.
Shit.
??I never left, and I'm speaking because I was too curious not to.??
[Wow.]
??And I'll leave as soon as you give an answer.??
[Seriously?]
??Uh-huh.??
[What was your question again?]
??Was there a purpose behind your actions???
[Well, who knows.]
That still counts as an answer, doesn't it?
??Heh.?? The wanker simply sneered.
Now, ti to create a new world record
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