Chapter 39 - Lady Killer
Being saved by a child is not bad, because in the end, your life is what matters. But it sure is surprising because children are fucking stupid.
However, if you've reached a bottom so low that children are saving your life, then maybe it's ti to reconsider your life choices, Noelle.
"But it's the truth. So stop moping around for sothing that isn't your fault, and invest that ti into sothing more productive, like sleeping."
Seriously, sleep is just so underrated.
Like, you can take a free trial of death anyti you want, and all you have to do to get it is to lie down and close your eyes.
If it was up to , I would sleep for an eternity.
"Productive…" She frowned, then suddenly smiled. "I know just how to be productive."
"Oh yeah?"
"From now on, I'm going to protect you!"
"…"
Oh my, who would have thought it would end like this?
Damnit.
"From now on, I'm going to protect you!"
Why do you have to draw out such weird conclusions from my words? Like bro, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you alright? Do you need a psychologist to talk to?
I usually don't do this, but I'll do sessions with you for absolutely free. Just stop with this bullshit.
"I thought I said sothing productive."
"And that's why I'm going to protect you."
Yea, and while you're at it, get a big 'Dum Dum' tattooed on your forehead.
"I ant sothing actually productive, like sleeping, or training so that you don't get stabbed by another broken blade of a Minotaur."
"T-that's already on my agenda!" She harrumphed. "But protecting you is more important."
This motherfucker.
"And what exactly are you going to protect from, Noelle?"
Fucking Minotaurs who are guarding the Shadowlord? I seriously doubt they are that common.
And in case they are, then this world has already gone to shit and it's ti to yeet on out of here by, you know, giving myself a karate chop by an axe.
"Believe , there are a lot of bad guys out there."
"Yup, sure."
At least use a better excuse, Noelle.
"No, it's true!" She again exclaid. "There are people out there who would kill to have talent like yours! It's our duty to protect you from them."
Huh, that actually makes sense. She got there.
"I see." I nodded. "Then let's make a pact."
"What kind of pact?"
"If a situation ever arises where you have to protect , you will NOT sacrifice your life for ."
"That is…"
"If you do, then I will exchange my life for yours, and I will make sure that there would be no resurrections for ."
Heh, beat that, Noelle.
If my life is what she cares about more than hers, then all I need to do is to hold myself hostage.
"Wha?! You can't do that!"
"Oh, but I will."
"You will not!"
"I already did it once, and we weren't even related then. So what makes you think that I won't do it now, when we are comrades? I swear to God Noelle, I'll do it out of spite."
Even if there were other, safer thods available to bring her back to life, I'd still kill myself just to spit in her face. taphorically speaking, that is, because I would be dead by then, and I have no hobby of spitting on corpses.
…
Geez, why do I have to go and make everything so strange.
"…I didn't know you had this side." She scowled and pinched my cheeks.
Ouch.
"I'm just adept at holding grudges."
And I absolutely won't tolerate soone sacrificing themselves for .
If I don't care for my life, then neither should they.
"But what if it's a situation where I cannot protect you without dying? And no, I will NOT let you die."
Wow, her obsession is almost impressive.
"Then we shall die together. Side by side, hand in hand, we'll go on to our next lives together."
Wow, that sure was romantic.
In fact, it almost sounded like a proposal.
They used to call Papa *insert na here*, and no, it was not because I was a good father figure.
Wait, I WAS a good father figure, but that wasn't the reason for them adding Papa before my na.
This is just getting weird. Let's move on.
"…If you were a handso young man, I would have fallen for you right here. You were just that smooth."
Told you- wait.
"Which part am I not right now?"
Am I not handso, or am I not a young man? Or is it both?
"You are going to be a lady killer in the future, eh?" She snickered. "A piece of advice; choose one girl and stay loyal for the rest of your life."
That's sound advice. Harem, while sounding nice, usually ends up with the central character getting stabbed in the back.
"I have no plans on getting myself involved with girls."
"Heh, everyone says that."
The body of a 12-year-old child sure is inconvenient, huh. Adults just don't take seriously.
"Anyway, how are you feeling?"
Isn't this sothing she should have asked the mont I woke up? She sure took her sweet ti getting to this point.
"I'm perfectly fine. I assu Neia was the one who treated while I was unconscious?"
"Yup. Make sure to thank her later. She worked hard to heal you."
Good grief.
"Anyway, wash yourself and get ready. Azell is waiting for you in his office."
"For what?"
"To officially sign you into the Guild, duh."
"Right."
About ti.
"He might have so words about how you broke your promise."
"We've already talked about that though. Can't you just relay my thoughts to him?"
I don't like repeating myself. Sure, it's an apology, but it's still a drag.
"No can do. Handle him yourself." She grinned. "Now go wash up. I'll lead you to his office."
What an asshole.
"Alright."
Heeding her words, I walked into the bathroom and was pleasantly surprised to find a working toilet, a bathtub, a showerhead and a wash basin with a mirror attached above it, all in the style of Earth.
Which makes sense, now that I think about it. They're from Earth, so of course they would find a way to replicate the things from back ho to make their lives easier.
This is one of the few tis I'm grateful for human tenacity.
The wash basin had two taps, presumably for cold and hot water both. I took the 'Exfoliating Face Wash for oily skin' and washed my face.
I'm not sure if my face was oily before, but it sure as hell isn't oily now. As usual, this shit claps hard.
After moisturising my skin like a good boy and styling my hair, I ca out.
"Here." Noelle handed a towel.
"Thank you."
"I have prepared a set of clothes for you." She pointed to the bed.
"Oh, nice."
About ti I got out of these patient robes.
Also, the clothes I was currently in were different from the ones I had fainted in, which ans that soone changed , which ans soone saw a minor naked.
Ti to report that certain soone.
"Are you going to stay here?"
"Should I step out?" Noelle asked.
"Nah, never mind."
I'm just changing clothes. I'm not a self-conscious teenager, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
I took off the robe I was wearing, only to find a thin, bony, pale body.
Seems like Vafferan was right in calling a malnourished orphan.
No seriously, I was just that thin. On the plus side though, I had no scars from Neia's surgery which proved her expertise even further.
Since Noelle hadn't made any audible gasps even after seeing my shit body, I think it would be safe to assu that she had seen this form before.
Looks like we have our culprit.
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