AT THE SA TI
EMPEROR LIANWEI’S POINT OF VIEW:
The vial rattled in my trembling hands as I sprinted back into the room, my boots scuffing loudly against the worn wooden floor.
"i Shen?" I called softly at first, but my voice cracked halfway.
She didn’t answer. She was lying there, pale and still, her hair damp with sweat against the pillow. Her chest rose and fell shallowly, too shallowly for my sanity. And next to her, Huan. The boy clutched her limp hand in his tiny fists, his tearstained face lifting toward the second I stepped inside.
"Daddy-" His voice wobbled like it was about to break completely. "Mommy’s not waking up! She’s too sleepy, Daddy! You said sleepy’s okay, but she’s not-"
I knelt hard beside the bed, nearly losing my balance as I fumbled with the stopper on the jade leaf tonic. My fingers felt clumsy, stupid, too big as panic clawed its way up my throat.
"She’s okay." I lied to Huan, to myself, my voice barely steady. "She’s... she’s just resting, little one. She worked too hard."
"But she feels hot. Mommy feels so hot." Huan’s small hand pressed to her forehead with the care of soone much older than his four years. His wide eyes glistened with fear. "You fix her, Daddy. Please fix Mommy. You’re big and strong... you always fix stuff!"
I swallowed hard, throat raw as I tipped the vial to i Shen’s lips.
"Co on." I whispered, coaxing her mouth open gently. "Just a little, love. You’ve always been stubborn... don’t make beg."
A drop slipped past her lips. Then another. Her throat moved weakly as she swallowed, and I almost sobbed in relief.
"Subject stabilizing. Heart rate returning to safe levels. Temperature decreasing by 0.2 degrees per minute." The system’s voice was maddeningly calm, but I could’ve kissed it for saying the words I needed to hear.
"Thank you." I muttered under my breath, not even sure who I was thanking anymore, system, god, fate. Anyone.
"Oh no need for gratitude, Emperor." Zeyrith’s lilting voice purred in my mind like a viper in silk. "She’s alive for now... but how fascinating you mortals are. All this frantic devotion, over a single fragile human."
"Shut your damn mouth." I growled under my breath.
"I saved you both once already. Do you really think I’ll keep saving you?"Zeyrith smirked.
"I don’t care if I break every bone in this body, she’s not dying. Not again." My jaw locked so hard it ached.
Huan sniffled, clutching i Shen’s limp hand to his cheek.
"Daddy..." He whimpered, voice so small it nearly destroyed . "You... you promise Mommy not gonna go bye bye?"
I froze. My promise. To her. To him. To myself. I gathered Huan into one arm, pulling him against my chest as I pressed my other hand to i Shen’s forehead.
"I promise." I whispered fiercely, though my own voice trembled. "Your mommy’s staying right here. With us. She’s not going anywhere."
"But you were scaring ." Huan sobbed into my tunic. "You looked so scared too. You’re not s’posed to be scared, Daddy."
"I know." I kissed the top of his dark hair, my heart twisting. "But sotis... even Daddies get scared when they love soone this much."
Huan’s little arms wrapped around my neck, warm and tight.
"Then love mommy a lot. So she won’t be sick no more."Huan said.
"I do." I said brokenly, brushing my thumb along i Shen’s damp cheek. "I love her so much it hurts."
"And yet." Zeyrith drawled smugly in my head. "You couldn’t tell her that in your first life. Too weak. Too scared. At least now you’ve learned how desperation tastes, hm?"
I ignored him, focusing on the woman asleep in front of , her breaths growing steadier with each passing mont.
"We’re taking you ho." I whispered. "No more running yourself ragged. No more saving everyone else while you burn yourself out. I’ll take care of you this ti, i Shen. I swear it."
Huan mumbled sothing into my chest.
"What was that, little one?"I asked.
"Can I stay with you... because I’m scared Mommy get sick again?"He asked.
"Of course."I said.
I pulled the blanket higher over all three of us. i Shen’s fingers twitched faintly in mine, and my breath caught as I kissed her knuckles.
"Rest, love." I murmured. "I’ll be right here when you wake up."
But in my chest, the fear still churned, cold and deep.
I couldn’t lose her again. Not in this life. Not ever.
The room was dark now, save for the faint glow of a single lantern flickering weakly on the nightstand. i Shen slept soundly at last, her breath deep and even, though her skin still felt warm under my palm. I hadn’t moved for hours. Huan had curled up between us at so point, one small hand still gripping her sleeve as if afraid letting go would make her vanish. I watched them both, my chest tight.
I had never known a fear like this, not on battlefields, not even staring down the blade of an assassin. That fear was sharp, bright. This one was slow, heavy. It pressed down with the weight of helplessness.
"Stop staring before you burn holes into her." Zeyrith’s voice purred, breaking the fragile silence.
I flinched but didn’t answer.
"And... so even now you cling to guilt like a lifeline. It wasn’t enough to watch her die once, was it?"He grinned.
"Shut up." I ran a hand over my face. My skin felt cold despite the heat in the room.
"You begged for another chance, and I was generous. But what if this ti she withers anyway? What then, little emperor? Will you beg again?"God grinned.
"Enough." My voice cracked low, nearly waking Huan.
But Zeyrith’s laughter coiled around my thoughts like smoke.
"You’re terrified because you rember, don’t you? That hospital bed. The machines. The quiet little beeps were getting slower and slower until they stopped." He grinned again.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I rembered. I rembered standing outside her room, too weak to go in. Watching her parents cry through the glass. Listening to the doctors talk in hushed tones about a girl who wouldn’t make it to morning. I had been Adrian then, pathetic, frail, always too sickly to do anything but watch. I had promised myself that if I ever had the strength, I had never let her face that again.
"Sleep, i i." I whispered. "I’ll fix this."
I carefully slid out of bed, tucking the blanket snugly around them both. My boots were silent against the floor as I slipped outside, the night air biting at my skin. I couldn’t stay here, not if there was sothing more I could do. The village healer had done all she could, but this sickness... it was lingering, gnawing at i Shen from the inside. She needed more than herbs and jade tonic. She needed sothing stronger.
My mind raced as I paced the dirt path outside our ho. The capital. There were healers there, masters of dicine and spiritual arts alike. But traveling back would an exposing myself. To enemies. To allies. To them. I clenched my fists. Could I risk it? Could I risk dragging her and Huan into that world again? Or... could I risk not going, and watch her fade all over again?
"Oh, delicious dilemma." Zeyrith grinned. "Stay here and risk her life, or return to your throne and risk your fragile little family’s peace. Which will you choose, Emperor?"
"I’ll choose her." I growled.
But my gut twisted painfully because I knew Zeyrith was right. Either path would cost us dearly. I knew that I must do everything in my power to keep them safe. The night air was sharp as a blade as I cinched the last of the leather straps on the pack. Each movent felt chanical, like I was moving through water deliberate, slow, heavy. Inside, the faint glow of the lantern still cast soft light over them.
i Shen lay motionless in the bed, her dark hair splayed across the pillow, her lips slightly parted. Even now, flushed from fever, there was an almost ethereal softness to her face. Huan’s little form was curled tightly at her side, one arm draped protectively across her middle. I paused at the doorway. I had told myself I wouldn’t ever leave them. Not after everything. Not after Earth. But staying... staying ant gambling her life.
"So you run again." Zeyrith’s voice curled around the edges of my mind like coals hissing in water. "How poetic. Last ti, you were too weak to stand at her side. This ti, you’re too strong to stay still. Truly, your love is a pendulum swinging from cowardice to desperation."
"Shut your mouth." I snarled under my breath.
But there was no denying the truth in it. This wasn’t bravery. This was fear dressed up as resolve.
I took one last look at them, her still, Huan’s tiny face pressed against her shoulder. I pressed a hand to the doorfra to steady myself as sothing cracked open deep in my chest.
"I’ll co back." I whispered hoarsely. "I swear it. To both of you.’
But there was no reply. Only the sound of i Shen’s shallow breathing and the faint chirp of crickets outside.
The villagers had been wary at first, but when they saw the tightness in my face, they didn’t argue. One of the older n brought a sturdy black gelding with quick, steady hooves and saddlebags already half filled with provisions.
"You’ll ride fast?" He asked gruffly, eyeing the faint tremor in my hands.
"I’ll ride until my bones break." I said flatly.
He nodded once and stepped back. The horse pawed at the ground impatiently as I mounted. The saddle creaked under my weight, and I tugged the reins sharply, forcing my mind to focus. No more hesitation. The capital was at least a two day ride if I didn’t stop. I’d make it in one. I had to.
"Ah, Emperor, galloping through the night with the wind at your back and the stench of desperation in your lungs." Zeyrith crooned lazily. "What would your courtiers say, seeing their flawless ruler like this? All for a woman and a child..."
"All for my family." I bit out, spurring the horse forward.
The village lted away behind as hooves thundered against hard-packed earth. Trees blurred past, branches clawing at the edges of my vision like skeletal fingers.
Every mont I stayed here was a mont her fever burned hotter. Every delay risked a repeat of that hospital room, that hollow pit in my chest, the sll of antiseptic and loss. I wouldn’t let it happen again. Not to her. Not in this life. I pressed low over the horse’s neck and urged it faster. The night air tore at my face, stinging my eyes until I couldn’t tell if it was wind or tears.
"Run, little emperor. Run as if all the heavens themselves are laughing." Zeyrith laughed.
I ignored Zeyrith’s cackling and focused only on the road ahead.
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