AT THE SA TI
LIANWEI POINT OF VIEW:
The warmth of the dicine was subtle at first, curling in my chest like an ember, then spreading slowly through my limbs. My muscles, stiff and aching for what felt like eternity, began to loosen. The pounding in my head dulled. The haze behind my eyes faded just enough for to finally look at her. She was still here. i Shen. She stood at the edge of my bed, eyes darting to the door like she already regretted coming. Her arms were folded across her chest tightly, as if she were bracing herself for sothing terrible, a fight, perhaps, or a plea she couldn’t bear to hear. I hated seeing her like this. Not just because I missed her. Not because she’d vanished and taken my soul with her. But because she looked like she didn’t know if she belonged anymore, as I tried to sit up, she instantly wanted to help to my light embarrassnt.
"I’m not made of glass." I murmured, voice rasped but steadier. "You can stop looking at like I’m going to fall apart if you breathe too hard."
She blinked, caught off guard.
\n(o)v.e\l
"You’ve been dying for weeks."She said.
"Maybe." I said, and I reached toward her.
Slowly. Carefully. My fingers brushed against hers, a light, tentative contact. She flinched. Not like she feared , but like the touch ant too much.
"Don’t." She whispered.
But I couldn’t help it. I let my hand trail down, fingers grazing the back of her hand. Just to make sure she was real. That I wasn’t hallucinating her again, like so many nights before.
"You ca back." I breathed, almost to myself. "You’re real."
She didn’t respond. I tilted my head, searching her expression.
"Do you hate that much, i Shen? That you can’t even let touch you?"I asked.
Her eyes glistened. But her voice was steady.
"I don’t hate you."She muttered.
"Then why..." My voice cracked. "Why does it feel like you’re further away now than when you left?"
There was silence. And then the god’s voice chid in, far too amused for the gravity of the mont.
"You are pitiful, you know that? One touch and you’re already unraveling like so tragic poetry piece."God smirked.
I didn’t care. Because she was right here, and I had my hand against hers, and I wasn’t letting go this ti, not until she said it with her own lips that she didn’t want . That this wasn’t real. That we were a mistake. She didn’t move when I cupped her hand more firmly, just stood frozen like she was caught between decisions she couldn’t na. Her warmth, even in silence, pulled sothing feral and aching out of .
"You ca back." I whispered again, my thumb brushing lightly over her knuckles. "But you keep looking like you will vanish any second. Like a dream that’ll shatter if I blink too hard."
She lowered her gaze.
"I didn’t an to-"He tried tp explain it.
"You don’t have to an it." I cut in gently. "You just have to stay."
My hand reached up, slowly, always giving her space to cup her cheek. She didn’t pull away. Her breath trembled.
"You have no idea what these months were like without you." I said, my voice raw. "The palace... my mother... even the gods... nothing mattered. Everything did not matter to ."
Still no protest. Only the soft, sad blink of her lashes. I leaned in, forehead resting lightly against hers.
"I looked for you in every shadow. Every dream. Every scent of jasmine on the wind." My throat tightened. "Every ti I thought I heard your voice, I would turn, even knowing it was impossible."
Her breath hitched, chest brushing against mine. So close. Still trembling.
"i Shen." I whispered, barely able to speak past the lump in my throat. "Tell what I have to do to make you stay. I do whatever you wish. If you want space, I will wait outside your door every night until you open it. Just don’t disappear again."
Her lips parted, but no sound ca out.
"I would give you the whole empire if it ant I get to see your smile again." I said, softer now, my voice a vow. "But all I really want... is you. Just you."
My arms moved around her slowly, pulling her into my chest. Her body was tense at first, stiff like she still didn’t trust this. . But then... her hands clutched at my robes. She didn’t speak, didn’t push away. She just held on. Like she needed too and for the first ti in months, I let myself breathe.
She didn’t speak. Her fingers just remained there, curled lightly in the folds of my robes as her forehead brushed my shoulder. She hadn’t co to stay, every part of her body still scread of flight, but she hadn’t run yet either. A small victory. And then, of course, the voice I did not ask for made its smug return.
"She ca to drop off dicine, you clingy emperor. Not a marriage proposal."Zeyrith said.
I didn’t even flinch.
"I wasn’t talking to you."I said.
"You were talking to her like a man drowning talks to a boat. You might as well offer her your crown again while you’re at it."He said again.
I ignored him, burying my face a little into her hair. She slled like wind and herbs and sothing else I couldn’t na it.
"Is that really all this is, i?" I murmured. "Just dicine, and then you disappear again?"
She stiffened. A pause.
"You looked pale." She said quietly. "The doctor said-"
"I don’t care what the doctor said." I cut in, lifting my head to look at her. "You rode all the way here. You snuck into my chambers in the dead of night. You risked being seen."
Her lips parted as if to argue, but nothing ca out. Her throat moved in a swallow.
"Ooh, got her there." The god humd. "Now confess you’ve counted the days since she left. Bonus points if you say it dramatically."
"Eighty nine." I said aloud, ignoring the god’s delighted laughter. "Eighty nine days since I last saw your face. Don’t think I haven’t counted."
Her eyes widened. Her breath caught, and for a mont she looked like she might cry again. But then she pulled back slightly.
"Lian Wei, you’re getting better now. The dicine-"She started again.
"It helped." I admitted. "But not as much as seeing you did."
"You sap." The god muttered, clearly entertained.
I held her wrist again gently, this ti softer than before, like I was asking for sothing fragile.
"Will you stay until morning?" I asked. "You don’t even have to talk. Just... let fall asleep knowing you’re here."
Another pause. A breath. She didn’t answer. But she didn’t pull away either.
"Damn. I didn’t think that would work." The god whispered.
I didn’t either. But for tonight, I could pretend this ant sothing more. Even if she’d only co for the dicine... she’d still co. And that was enough. For now.
Reviews
All reviews (0)