-Zeref's POV-
The dical team and police force arrived on site and took care of students. It turned out beasts had attacked the whole city from different angles so the Police Force was occupied.
I hugged my mother and surprisingly, she took the news well. It was the first ti she had seen properly without my eye patch. She didn't argue and told to rest instead; I could explain everything later on.
I sat outside the hospital room. Naz, Jace and Sara were getting their check ups inside while I fiddled with my sleeve. People stared at , whispering. I guess the news spread quickly. I fought the principle.
I couldn't ignore the looks any longer and ran out of the halls, finding an empty room. The soft moonlight shone into the dimly lit room and I stared out of the large windows, showing a clear view of everything.
This life was more chaotic than my last life.
It feels so weird not being Jas Lance. I'm now Zeref Amara. I'm stronger, faster and have a carved path towards sothing people would kill for.
But sothing feels… missing
I feel empty.
I feel like I'm still holding onto sothing in my past life. The more I try to search deep and find what it is, the further I feel from it. What's holding back from fully moving onto this life?
I sat on a chair and stared at the dicine vials all stacked in a tall cabinet. It was much more peaceful here. Plus, the door has a window so I can see if Jace, Naz or Sara walk past.
"Zeref?!" Malia's distant voice yelled out to .
I craned my neck over my shoulder and towards the door.
"In here!" I yelled back, turning back around to stare at the night sky.
I heard her footsteps trail closer until she swung the door open with little to no bruises. I stood up, about to run to her but she had already pounced on , laughing with relief.
"Thank god, you're okay!" she dug her face into my neck, pulling down while holding closely. I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her scent.
We swayed in each other's arms, holding each other through the chaos of the night. I held her while thinking of how I could have lost her tonight.
She really was amazing.
I rember running outside to see her holding up a barrier against thousands of beasts. Her hair was blown out of her face and the fierce concentration in her eyes still flashes my mory. She looked powerful.
Almost… untouchable.
"You're a…" I proceeded to say.
"Spirit wolf." we both said in unison as she looked at with guilt swirling in her eyes.
This whole ti she has been holding her powers in. Now that I know, I can have more help with fighting off armies. I wonder what would happen if I used my inspect skill on her...
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Zeref." she sighed, her eyes puffy and red. I held her face in my hands, shaking my head.
"It isn't your fault. I never gave you ti to tell ." I said.
She was very weak and looked tired. She fought, held back and led an army tonight.
She saved us.
One thing for sure is that she is definitely useful and I can see her growing and fighting alongside in the future. After all, she was Gramps's student for a short ti because she was also gifted like .
"There is so much I need to tell you." she shivered, pulling herself away from , the guilt becoming more apparent in her face.
"Sa." I returned, the idea of telling her about how I bonded with a true dragon popping up in my head.
Malia looked at with a lost expression in her eyes. Her hands were shaking mine as she held in her urge to cry. I stared at her with mixed feelings, waiting for her to say sothing but instead she closed her eyes.
"The powers of a spirit wolf were gifted to from the monarchs. They put my past life's soul inside of to teach how to control it… I attacked Sara after losing control and shifting in school. I rember you chasing and I fainted.
"When I woke up, I was dying inside my shell. My past soul pretended to be while I recovered. Therefore I was so strange- I-I-" she rambled in one go, not being able to look at my reaction. I tried to keep track of her story, letting myself process her words.
A foreign feeling washed over .
I was right. All those weird tis when she acted out… wasn't her.
I held her chin up, forcing her eyes to raise and look at .
"Don't feel guilty."
A misty aura resonated around her as she gasped. It felt as if I was touching gold; she went dead cold.
"I'll show you." she said while a wave of power expanded out of her. I shut my eyes montarily from the gush of wind but when I opened my eyes, I saw sothing I knew couldn't be real.
Standing in front of was the woman who haunted my dreams. The woman I lost and my heart ached for. Malia dropped to the floor from the power it must've taken to exert her out.
I couldn't move. I couldn't process anything.
How?
She was pale and a bit see through, looking at with no expression.
I found it hard to find words. I clenched my jaw, shaking with tears welling my eyes.
"N-Nina?"
Her expression changed to one of surprise as she stared into my eyes. I dropped to my knees, letting my tears run free. I cried on the floor, letting all my emotions rush out of . It hurt so much to look at her. I couldn't.
The pain I kept all these years had finally rendered immobile. It had finally devoured as I stared into her eyes.
"I'm sorry I was too late. I'm sorry I didn't co in ti. Y-You must've suffered so much. It must've been so painful. I couldn't s-save you. I'm sorry-" I held my arms together, kneeling to her.
She stepped back, her hands starting to shake while her gears turned.
"Jas?" she wavered before looking in the eyes.
I looked back at her.
Why did it have to be like this?
We had a dood fate. We were both empty voids, trying to beco sothing that was supposed to be in the past. Everything was too late. She pulled into the abyss; into a dream-like fantasy. We were happy… but death was our only barrier.
The only thing that can obstruct love... is death.
And it broke us.
Us.
Why couldn't I just go back to her?
I ran up to her, trying to hug her but I stumbled through her. She cried as I scread out in frustration.
All these years of her running through my mind and now that she is in front of I can't even hold her!!!
"Jas, is it really you?" she held her hand over her mouth in shock, tears running softly down her cheeks. I turned to her, weakly limping towards her. I stroked her face, feeling nothing but air.
Nina will never co back.
She wasn't here.
Not physically.
I can't feel her. I can't hold her. Even after all these years... There was not a day where she didn't co to my mind.
She leaned into my hand but I felt numb. There was no warm skin to touch, no person to hug, no life. Just her soul.
But it was enough.
Please leave her with . Please let have my Nina.
She looked conflicted, wrapping her arms around , trying not to fall through . I cried. That's all I could do. Cry with the pain finally drowning .
How many tis do I have to relive your death? How many tis do I have to be reminded I was too late? Why does your essence follow ?
"It isn't your fault. None of it was. You made the happiest…" she cried, sniffling.
"Don't leave again." I pleaded, feeling as if her reassurance was a farewell.
"Don't let my death hold you back okay? M-Move forwards Z-Zeref Amara, my lightning contestant." she caressed my cheek but again, I couldn't feel her.
Let feel her warmth! Be real!!!
I shook my head, refusing her words.
"N-No. I'm your Jas. I'm not anyone else."
She sighed, smiling as her tears finally stopped.
"I'm very happy with how my next life is here. Malia is strong enough to control the spirit wolf transformation without now. She doesn't need my assistance." she looked down at Malia's body.
"You have all my blessings Zeref. Let go of Jas. He can rest… with . Our love will never die. Let your mories of fade." she comforted as I fell to my knees again, falling to her feet and begging her.
"Live well… Zeref. You can start fresh. Our love can relive in Malia and Zeref. It's ti for us to rest." she reached her hand down to as I stayed on the floor, still pleading.
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!"
"Make proud. Zeref Amara." she smiled as she started to float up.
"NOOO!" I leaped up, trying to hold onto her but my fingers slipped through her ankles.
"NOOOOOO!"
I wanted to scream, cry, shout but nothing would bring her back.
Malia sat up, dazed. Sohow she looked like she knew everything. Like she had watched it unfold.
"Zeref I am so sorry…" she ran up to , hugging my broken state.
"SHE LEFT ALL OVER AGAIN!" I cried, leaning into her arms.
Can anyone understand the pain eating alive right now?...
Why would you monarchs dangle her right in front of and snatch her away again?!
I'm going to kill you all!!! I'm going to make sure I send all of you down to hell.
I will rule the upper realm and hell.
If I can't ascend to the upper realm, I'll make the upper realm crumble down to .
"Why?" I cried, numbly. I had grieved her so many tis.
But the wound was still fresh, even after 20 years. A scar like this will never heal because it's not on my skin like any normal wound. Although it stings when touched and reopens when there's a sharp movent, this wound won't be able to close or heal.
I saw Nina after 20 years of constant dreams of her.
I finally saw her but she is gone.
Malia cried, cradling my head.
"I know, I know." she cooed, rocking us both.
I struggled to keep my eyes open; I was tired of hurting. The slumber wrapped around as I was rocked back and forth on the floor, in Malia's arms.
She was with . Malia.
That was enough for my scar to go numb.
"I'm sorry," she comforted, her tears dropping onto my cheek as I finally let myself lt into her. There was no point in holding onto my grief.
"It is okay to cry. It is okay to hurt. It is okay to grieve." she whispered, running her fingers through my hair.
It was a long night for the both of us. Malia and I. and Malia.
Us.
An eternal 'us'.
"I'm here…" she rubbed the tears from my cheeks, smiling through the pain and looking down at .
Sohow, I felt at ease. Like everything had been settled. Jas was really gone.
I'm Zeref Amara.
I closed my eyes, holding one arm around her. I humd in her comfort as I sat in my empty mind of darkness. My eyes stung from the tears but as she rocked and rocked and rocked, I felt my thoughts release.
I fell asleep.
In her arms.
Us.
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