Cohen didn't feel like continuing the conversation.
Because Edward had silently lain back down on the ground and closed his eyes.
Then, he opened them again, sat up with a groan, and pretended like he had just regained consciousness:
"Cohen?! Where are we? Aren't you supposed to be in the tournant?"
"You can reboot yourself ten more tis and it still won't change anything…" Cohen said wearily. "Besides, this wasn't exactly my decision—and if your Patronus is already a Dentor, having a Dentor grandchild shouldn't be that hard to accept."
"I should've seen this coming…" Edward took a deep breath. "It… it really is… yours…?"
"Dentors reproduce by splitting," Cohen explained, giving Edward the "safe-for-parents" version of how Mick had co to be and why the little Dentor kept calling him "Dad."
Of course, he glossed over the part about eting Mick in the creepy basent of Borgin and Burkes.
When he clarified that Mick wasn't the lovechild of him and a mother Dentor, Edward's expression eased a little—it looked slightly less horrified.
"Dentors don't have a gender. If I really wanted to have kids, I could just reproduce asexually…" Cohen added. "If you don't believe , I can give you a live demonstration—"
"No need!" Edward jumped up, stopping Cohen before he could spawn another little Dentor right in front of him. "Didn't that giant squid point you in so direction? Let's just go check it out! You're still in the middle of a competition—drag this out any longer and forget winning, you might not even place!"
Muttering non-stop, Edward pushed Cohen toward the deeper part of the cave. Despite all his grumbling about things like "if you have a kid, you've got to take responsibility" and "raising a child isn't so weekend hobby," he stayed alert, walking ahead of Cohen and sweeping the damp rock walls and wet sand with the light from his wand.
"Hm?"
Edward stopped when he saw sothing familiar near the back of the cave.
It was a large serpent coiled on a slick rock surface. It had two antler-like horns on its head—unlike the tail of Cohen's Chira, this one was clearly much older, and the gemstone on its forehead was covered in a cloudy film, dim and lifeless.
Edward turned to Cohen, since anything magical-creature-related usually had sothing to do with him—but Cohen shook his head, signaling that he didn't recognize it either.
[Snore... zzz... huh?] The old water serpent groggily lifted its head. Its beady black eyes scanned the two wand-wielding humans in front of it, then it jerked upright and hissed threateningly at them: [What do you want?! Don't co any closer! One more step and I'll—bite you!]
It hesitated briefly between "bite you" and "gore you with my horns," but finally chose the more aggressive option. Then it suddenly rembered that humans couldn't understand Parseltongue.
[Hiss hiss hiss hiss!] It started hissing fiercely, trying to scare off the two wretched wizards.
"What's it saying?" Edward whispered.
"It says if we take one more step, it'll bite us. But water serpents aren't venomous, so I think it's just bluffing," Cohen replied. "Hold on, I'll ask it sothing…"
[Didn't you ask the giant squid to find ?] Cohen said. [If not, I'll head back and finish the tournant—you can go back to sleep.]
[Yeah, yeah, go on! Leave! And stop jabbering in that human gibberish—I don't understand any of it. Also, stop shining that light in my eyes—wait, what did you just say?]
[I said if there's nothing urgent, I'll get back to the tournant. I've got, like, twenty minutes left—if I hurry, I might still place in the top three.] Cohen glanced at his waterproof watch and sighed. [If you really want to chat, I can send a few other snakes to keep you company. I'm busy.]
[You speak Parseltongue?] the old serpent asked curiously. [Ouou! Or are you actually a snake in human skin?]
It slithered closer, peering at Cohen with interest. Edward instinctively pulled Cohen behind him.
"It's okay," Cohen reassured him. "If I did turn into a snake, I'd be way more dangerous than that one."
The old serpent flicked its tongue, giving Cohen a full sniff-over.
[Doesn't seem like it… you barely even sll like a snake. There's sothing else mixed in…] the serpent said. [Have you seen a really pretty, long-horned water serpent? She's stuck to so dumb lion. She looks a lot like —horns on her head, really shiny gemstone. Kinda cranky, but deep down she's a good girl—rough on the outside, soft on the inside…]
[What are you to her?] Cohen narrowed his eyes.
That voice can't possibly belong to the Chira's lover, right?
[I'm her father.] the old serpent said proudly. [Have you seen my daughter? I've been following her scent, but I keep losing the trail around here…]
"What'd it say?" Edward asked, seeing Cohen pause and stop hissing back.
"It said… it's my grandpa," Cohen said, already numb to it.
Honestly, with the whole magical creature parentage thing—and given that Cohen's "parents" included a full pantheon of wild beasts, including a literal genetic cocktail of a Chira—this kind of family tree ss was just another Tuesday.
"…"
Edward didn't respond. He just gave the old snake a polite smile, then imdiately dragged Cohen aside and whispered, "Okay, what does it want? Is it trying to recruit you into so water serpent family reunion? Don't tell I'll have to start calling a snake my father-in-law."
"It's here looking for the Chira," Cohen replied. "Seems like it only cares about finding her. Once the task ends, I'll bring him to the trunk and let them reunite. No big deal. Also, can you stop thinking in such strict 'family tree' terms? No magical creature's gonna force you to start calling them Grandpa."
"Your basilisk dad would definitely disagree." Edward muttered.
"You don't even understand what Xisoco says!" Cohen groaned. "How do you two even argue?! Anyway, forget it for now. I'll deal with the snake—you go cast a Bubble-Head Charm on yourself. I might still be able to claw back a decent score in this round…"
[So you haven't seen her?] the old serpent asked again, slithering closer. [Guess I'll keep looking… That squid's probably not too bright—I told it to find my daughter, and it dragged in two wizards instead…]
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