Lu Zihao beca furious. "Never deride yourself like that ever again! Do you hear ? You’re not pathetic!"
Long Jinjing didn’t reply. A soft, sad smile lifted the corner of her lips but the effect didn’t look pleasant. It made her appear more defeated instead.
"Jinjing, don’t fall in love with ," he told her next.
"I already fell in love with you! I tried so hard, Nikolai! So hard! Do you understand?! I also didn’t want this to happen! I did my best to...to suppress my f-feelings for you...but whenever we spend ti together, I just found myself falling in love with you a little deeper."
It was clear that he didn’t know how to respond to her confession and his lack of response cut through her. It hurt so much but she already expected this from the mont she realized that she had fallen in love with him.
"You call yourself a bad man, a monster, but to , you’re none of those things. You’re not exactly a saint but...you always treated as soone who’s...who’s d-desirable. And this is the first ti that I felt this way, that I’m a woman who can make a man d-desire so much."
"Because you’re a desirable woman, Jinjing," he whispered. "Very desirable."
She bit her lower lip and felt her painful heart still skipping a beat despite being broken by the man standing in front of her. What could be more pathetic than this?
Then he added, "You’re a beautiful and sexy woman. Smart, too. I just hope that you develop more confidence in yourself and stop always putting yourself down. You don’t deserve to mistreat yourself like that."
"See!" she exclaid at him. "How are you a monster? You always try to boost my confidence whenever I...I drag myself down. But aren’t you doing the sa thing? You always call yourself a bad man, a monster, when it’s clear that you’re none of those. You’re really not!"
His eyes softened a little but his overall expression didn’t change. It still looked complicated with his inability to deal with her sudden confession and the entire situation. He also didn’t say anything that would reveal whether he agreed or disagreed with her claim that he wasn’t a bad man and a monster.
After her fevered speech, Long Jinjing felt like almost all of her energy had been drained. Her tears were still flowing but no longer as heavily as before.
"I’m sorry for suddenly confessing my...my love for you."
He scowled again. "I already told you to never—"
"I know. You don’t like hearing apologize. But I really am s-sorry because...I don’t want you to feel like I’m expecting s-sothing from you. Not at all. I never expected you to return my f-feelings in the first place. I just wanted you to know that I l-love you...so that you’ll understand why I’m rejecting your suggestion to extend our current relationship."
He didn’t know how to reply.
She tried smiling in an effort to show him that everything was fine and that he had nothing to worry about but failed. Her poor attempt of a smile only made her look miserable, so she just stopped trying.
"So...let’s just break up, okay?"
He turned and suddenly moved to punch the half-wall separating the living room and the kitchen. But before his fist could reach the wall, he stopped and bumped it lightly instead. Although he felt consud by a frustrating rage, he still managed to rember that this unit was Long Jinjing’s. He couldn’t just damage it. If he did, she might beco even more upset with him.
The need to vent out his anger, to break sothing, to destroy whatever he got his hands on, gushed through him but he suppressed it with all his might. It was so damn difficult but even he knew that this wasn’t the ti to let out his inner monster and wreck everything in his path. He still needed to figure out a way to fix the situation with Long Jinjing.
"Not yet," he hissed.
"What?"
"We’re not breaking up yet."
"What do you an?"
His nostrils flared as he did his best to speak in a neutral, even tone. "Three days. We still have three days left until our agreent expires. If you really want to break up, we can break up then. But not before that."
She opened her mouth but no words ca out.
"If you don’t want to extend our relationship, then fine. If that’s what you want. But I’m not going to allow you to break up with tonight. No way in hell, Jinjing."
"You still want to...to be with m- even after my...confession?"
"Yeah."
She couldn’t believe it. To be honest, she didn’t know how to feel about it.
On one hand, it felt good that he still liked her. She thought that he would leave right after learning that she had fallen in love with him. On another hand, it didn’t seem like a good idea to stay in a relationship that they both knew would end in three days. It kind of felt like marching to her own doom.
Nevertheless, the temptation to spend more ti with him even for just a few days appealed to her. She loved him after all. Of course, she would love to stay with him even after knowing that there was no future for anything more between them.
"If you want to do anything during these three days, we’ll do it," he told her. "I’ll clear my schedule if necessary."
Silence.
"Jinjing."
"Anything?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"What do you want in exchange?"
His expression turned ugly but he quickly controlled it. "I want to continue fucking you, to co inside you again and again, until it’s ti for us to break up."
She trembled and looked away, feeling shy even with the current situation. "I...okay."
He breathed a sigh of relief but she didn’t see it because she was still looking away. "What do you want to do?"
"Uhm..."
"Anything, Jinjing. I promise."
She looked at him. "I want to go on a date with you. A proper date."
"Done."
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