Silence descended between the two people in the small condo unit. Lu Zihao didn’t speak as he waited for Long Jinjing to make up her mind. His posture against the wall appeared casual but his clenched muscles revealed that he was anything but casual at the mont.
Finally, Long Jinjing spoke again. "What happened between us...the one-night stand...it was wonderful, Mr. Lu. It was still acceptable for soone like . But if we’re going to keep on having sex with each other, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it."
Lu Zihao straightened and walked towards her.
She raised a hand to stop him from coming near her. "Please stay back. I...I can’t think c-clearly if you’re too close to ."
His jaw tensed but he nodded before returning to his original position near the door. "Why do you think you won’t be able to handle having sex with again? There’s nothing complicated about it."
Her lips curved in a forced smile that had no humour. "I’m sure it’s nothing complicated to you. But to , it is."
"It doesn’t have to be for you, too."
She shook her head. "I’m sorry. I can’t be casual about this like you."
He sighed. "That’s why you need to state your terms, so that I know how to accommodate you."
"Why are you doing this, Mr. Lu?" she asked in confusion. "Why are you so bent on having sex with again?"
His expression turned completely unreadable when she asked these questions. "Because I want to."
"That’s it?"
"Yes, that’s it."
Biting her lower lip, she sat down on the couch. There was a deep frown on her face.
"Your terms, Jinjing," he reminded her again.
She glared at him. "I can’t do casual sex anymore. I just can’t! Once was enough for ."
"Then tell what you want to make you agree again," he said.
Turning her head away to avoid looking at him, she rubbed her cold, sweaty hands on the throw pillows of her couch. She swallowed and tried to moisturize her dry mouth before speaking in a cautious, asured tone. "If...if I’m going to sleep with the sa man r-repeatedly...then I"—cough—"I need to have so sort of security or I won’t do it—I an, I can’t do it."
He frowned. "What security?"
"A title."
His frown deepened. "Title? I don’t understand. Explain."
Frustration and embarrassnt filled her. Did he need her to explain everything word by word? That would be too embarrassing! She must be as red as a ripe tomato right now.
"Just say it, whatever it is," he said.
She rubbed her hands over her arms while taking a few deep breaths. "I told you that I can’t do c-casual sex anymore...so what I an is...I, uh." Her complexion turned even redder as helplessness overwheld her.
"Spit it out."
"What I an is that I need to be in a relationship if I’m going to sleep with the sa man repeatedly!" she blurted out before covering her face with a throw pillow.
Silence.
A few seconds later, a force took away the pillow she was pressing on her face. She tried to grab it but Lu Zihao had already tossed it away at a random corner of the living room. Then he sat down beside her. She tried to run away but he grabbed her arms and prevented her from escaping.
"Look at ," he told her.
She shook her head, too embarrassed to et his gaze.
"I said look at ," he repeated in a commanding tone.
Her eyes instinctively turned to him and saw his serious expression. She bit her lower lip and kept swallowing hard.
"What do you an by that, Jinjing?" he asked. "You want a relationship with ?"
She flushed even more deeply. "No! I an, uh...I don’t necessarily want a relationship with you..."
He frowned and his expression turned ferocious but it was gone in the next second. Long Jinjing thought that she must have imagined it.
Clearing her throat, she continued to stamr an explanation. "I m-an...you said that you...want to f-fuck—I an, have sex with again. But I don’t want to have casual sex anymore...so if I have to sleep with you again, we need to be in a r-relationship. And by relationship, I an that you need to be my...be my b-boyfriend. These are my terms."
Silence.
He didn’t reply but continued to look at her with those unreadable eyes. She squird under his gaze and tried to escape from her embarrassnt but couldn’t move because he wouldn’t release her arms. She was locked in place by his firm hold.
"I don’t do that kind of relationship."
His words sent a heavy blow to her. She smiled and chuckled, the sight bitter and the sound grating to her own ears.
"I figured as much," she said, chuckling even more as her eyes watered. "I’m attracted to you, Mr. Lu. T-that’s a fact. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have agreed to have a one-night stand with you in the first place."
He remained silent and continued to listen to her.
Her voice beca shakier. "But don’t get wrong. I’m not hoping for sothing more between us because I know that we’re completely incompatible. T-there’s no hope for s-sothing more between us, anyway. I already know that. It’s just that...I can’t sleep with the sa man again and again but hold no title. To be just the woman that a man is...f-fucking on a regular basis is totally unacceptable to . Not just you but any man! If I allow myself to be like that now...then what’s next? Will I beco a m-mistress in the future? Like my mother?"
His eyes narrowed when she said that last part. He tightened his hold on her and was about to speak but she cut him off.
She said, "I need...to at least be able to hold my head up high and tell people that...the man I’m sharing my bed with is...is my boyfriend and that I’m his girlfriend. That our relationship is...respectable and not sothing shaful!"
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