Chapter 204- You Completely Blacked Out
BEATRICE’S POV
I woke up with the worst kind of headache.
It wasn’t just a normal headache—it felt like soone was trying to split my skull open with a hamr. The pain was so sharp, so strong, it almost made forget how to breathe.
I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut again.
I tried to open them once.
Failed.
Tried again. Still nothing but blur and pain.
The third ti—I forced it.
Finally, my eyes opened.
And there it was again—the hospital ceiling.
That sa plain, cold, white ceiling with a faint water stain in the corner.
I turned my head to the side slowly, already knowing what I’d see—and yes, the sa tubes and wires were still attached to . The sa soft beeping sound from the machines.
Sa everything.
Why?
Why was this happening again?
Why does everything feel like I’ve already been through it?
Am I stuck in so kind of dream?
So kind of... sick loop?
I asked myself that, but of course, there was no answer. Just the sound of my own breathing and the pounding in my head.
I tried to sit up, moving slowly, but before I could fully raise my back, a firm hand grabbed my arm.
A warning.
A silent "Don’t."
I looked up sharply—and just as I guessed—it was him.
Declan.
Of course it was Declan.
"Let stand up!" I snapped, my voice loud and sharp, slicing through the quiet room.
But then his disgusting voice ca again. That voice I hated so much.
"If you don’t calm down, they’ll co in here and sedate you," he warned. "And it won’t be funny this ti."
I stared at him.
I wanted to punch him.
But instead, I stayed quiet—because let’s be honest, who the hell wants to be sedated?
Not .
I took a deep breath and looked away from him. I had tried to get up the last ti, too, and he was the one that stopped then as well. Now it was happening again.
The sa man. The sa hospital. The sa feeling.
Is this a dream?
Is this a reoccurring nightmare?
Because if it is, then I better find a way to wake myself the hell up.
I didn’t say anything to him at first.
But sothing in snapped.
I turned my face slowly toward him and looked him right in the eye.
"I want to know why I’m in the hospital," I said, my voice sharp but calm. "How did I even get here?"
I paused, then added, "Because it honestly feels like I’m living the sa day again. The sa pain. The sa damn mont."
I shook my head, trying to fight the confusion.
"Why does it feel like this?" I whispered to myself more than to him. "Why do I feel like I’ve already asked this before?"
I looked around again. Everything was the sa. Too much of the sa.
Then another thought hit .
"Where’s Tyler?" I asked suddenly, my voice rising. "Where is my son?"
My mind was racing. One question led to another and another. So many thoughts. So many fears. And not a single answer.
Declan reached for again, trying to calm .
"Calm down, Beatrice. Just breathe—"
But that was it.
That was the mont I snapped.
"Don’t you dare tell to calm down," I said, my voice low but deadly serious.
I glared at him. My hands clenched into fists, despite the IVs still taped to my skin.
"Don’t ever in your motherfucking life tell what to do," I said, staring him straight in the eyes. "You lost that right the day you abused and made my life living hell.
"As long as calming down isn’t in my plan this very mont," I snapped, "then you have no right—none—to tell what to do."
The words left my mouth before I even thought about them. But I didn’t care. I ant every single one.
Declan took a step back. I saw the shock on his face. For once, he looked like he didn’t know what to say.
Then he mumbled, "I’m honestly sorry, Beatrice. I didn’t an to make you angry. I’m just... I’m just doing what I think is best for you."
He paused and looked at with those stupid worried eyes.
"I can’t let you sit up or try to stand when tubes are still connected to your body," he continued. "It’s going to cause pain... and I don’t want that to happen. What I’m doing is for your own good."
I scoffed, my chest rising and falling too fast.
"For my own good?" I repeated slowly, like the words disgusted .
"Nothing about this is for my good," I said, voice shaking. "You want to know what’s good for ? Going ho. Holding my son, Tyler. Hearing his voice. Looking into his eyes and hearing him say I’m going to be okay... that I’m strong... that I can fight through this."
As soon as I said those words, the tears rushed out of my eyes.
I didn’t even know where they ca from.
I tried to stop them. God, I tried. But they ca anyway.
Why am I crying?
I’m not supposed to cry.
I’m a strong woman.
Strong won don’t cry.
"Stop crying, Beatrice," Declan said quietly. "It’s going to affect your healing process—"
"I said don’t fucking tell what to do!" I cut him off, my voice suddenly fierce.
His mouth clamped shut.
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, even though they kept falling.
"You know what?" I said, turning away from him. "I don’t need you. I don’t need your answers. I don’t need your fake concern. I’ll rember every single thing that happened on my own. I don’t have to lower myself to ask you."
I turned my head slightly, looking at him with nothing but hate in my eyes.
"I will dig into my own damn mories and find the truth myself."
"No," he said quickly. "Don’t you dare. Beatrice, I’m begging you—don’t do that."
He sounded more desperate now, like fear was crawling up his throat.
"I won’t stand here and watch you hurt yourself again," he said. "You’re not going to try to rember anything until your body is stronger."
I looked at him like he was insane.
"Then maybe you should crawl into my brain," I spat, "and switch it off yourself."
He took a step closer, like he wanted to touch but knew better.
"Please, Bea," he whispered. "Please don’t push it."
"Why not?" I asked, my voice breaking. "Why can’t you just let think for myself? Why are you acting like my mind belongs to you now too?"
My eyes burned. I wasn’t sure if it was from the tears or the anger anymore.
"Because the last ti you tried to rember," Declan said softly, "you went unconscious."
He looked down like the mory haunted him.
"You were trying so hard to rember what happened... then you scread. You said your head was hurting... that the pain was too much. And then... you blacked out. Completely."
"What the fuck do you an by I blacked out completely?"
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