As dragonflies soared and cosmos blood, and the sporadically grown rice fields turned golden with ripeness, a particular mory ca to mind.
It must have been early during my deploynt to China.
A ti when the world was a little brighter, more hopeful, and still filled with greed for the Otherworld.
I had sustained a minor injury during a mission.
It wasn’t anything severe—just a few abrasions and a small fracture.
But back then, the world was still livable, with monts of respite. Even soone like , with only a minor injury, was transported to the rear lines and given excellent care.
For so reason, the Chinese governnt treated us well.
The Chinese soldiers I fought alongside were treated in noisy, filthy, and chaotic field hospitals, while we were taken to state-of-the-art dical facilities overlooking a naless Chinese palace and a beautiful garden.
The season then must have also been autumn.
True to their love of splendor, the Chinese had planted all sorts of flowers in the garden, drawing attention with their vibrant colors. But what caught my eye was not the garden itself, but the patch of cosmos blooming sparsely at the edge of the construction debris and gravel.
Their simple yet unpretentious beauty resonated with .
Perhaps I was drawn to them because I was weary of excessive grandeur.
It wasn’t long before I discovered why China had sent us there.
A Chinese handler who spoke fluent Korean discreetly tried to persuade to defect several tis.
He offered a lifeti of wealth, a beautiful wife, guaranteed status, and even honors that money couldn’t buy.
I can’t say how many fell for the temptation, but I did see a few familiar faces—classmates and juniors I knew by na—switch allegiances. They pinned the Chinese flag to their chests and joined us on operations.
At the ti, China was at the height of its power.
Even the United States struggled to deal with internal fractures, floundering aimlessly. Their excessive prioritization of their citizens had wearied their allies, leading to mass defections.
Europe’s split with the United States signaled the end of the Pax Aricana.
Still, more people resisted the temptation than succumbed to it—that’s an undeniable truth.
On a certain day, as I completed a dical check hoping for an early return to the front lines, I headed to the garden as usual to gaze at the cosmos beyond its boundaries.
There, I saw a woman I knew but had never spoken to personally, staring straight at the cosmos I’d been watching.
I knew her na: Na Hye-in.
She often ca right after or Lee Sang-hoon in na recognition.
Rather than being beautiful, her features carried an aura of inaccessibility, and she always seed to gaze into the distance.
Even now, I couldn’t tell where her thoughts were, but she was undoubtedly skilled.
Had she been a man, she might have posed a threat even to , given her talents and instincts.
In fact, during a competitive team trial where abilities were pitted against each other, she nearly eliminated .
But her luck was poor.
She had been a disciple of Ko Jong-beom, who defected to China and sold all his techniques and knowledge after losing a power ga to my ntor, Jang Ki-young.
Jang Ki-young’s vendetta against Ko Jong-beom was so severe that he sought to eradicate even his lineage, illustrating the extent of his disdain.
Ko Jong-beom’s disciples, including Na Hye-in, were often forced into the dirtiest and most brutal battles.
I’d heard rumors before her hospitalization—her entire team had been wiped out, and she was the sole survivor.
Unlike , her body was wrapped in bandages, so parts stained with hues reminiscent of the cosmos.
Seeing her, I turned to leave.
It wasn’t a calculated decision but a habitual act of avoidance.
“Do you like cosmos flowers?”
An unfamiliar voice stopped in my tracks.
“Not particularly.”
I rember my posture at the ti being awkward—neither fully leaving nor staying.
“How’s it over there?”
“Where?”
“Where you were stationed. Are there a lot of monsters there too?”
“Not as many as here.”
I straightened up and turned to face her.
Her side profile was obscured by bandages, but her gaze was unmistakably fixed on the cosmos.
“There are a lot here.”
I turned toward her because she ntioned monsters.
Even now, the word “monster,” my ultimate object of hatred, had the power to obliterate petty feelings like rivalries, allegiances, or grudges.
“What got your team?”
Of course, I lacked tact back then.
Even knowing her team had been annihilated, I dug into the subject.
Her reaction wasn’t anger or sadness—it was laughter.
“You.”
She turned to face .
“You really do love monsters, don’t you?”
The gaze that always seed distant now locked onto directly.
That was our first eting.
After that, I started noticing her.
In the cafeteria, in the garden, at the rehabilitation facility, and at the gravel patch at the edge of the garden.
I avoided her because I thought our encounters were unnecessary.
All I wanted was a swift return to the front lines.
Killing even one more monster—that was the only mission left to in this world.
"Just wait a little longer. The front lines are stable. There's no rush to return—you can fully recover before being deployed," said the dispatch commander, a junior from Jang Ki-young’s academy.
I quickly realized his concern wasn’t for my well-being but because I was Jang Ki-young’s prized pupil.
I felt a surge of uncontrollable anger.
Part of that anger was directed at Jang Ki-young himself.
His theories were all nonsense, and because of them, I was stuck in this comfortable place, idle.
I sought out Na Hye-in.
I cut straight to the point.
“You want to switch teams?”
Her face, unveiled from the bandages, was strikingly beautiful, but at the ti, appearances ant nothing to .
“Join my team in place of .”
“My team doesn’t exist anymore—it’s just . It’s effectively disbanded.”
“It’ll be reorganized, won’t it? I want to join the new team.”
“...Why?”
She asked, then let out an uncharacteristic laugh before answering herself.
“Because you love monsters?”
I didn’t respond, which only deepened her misunderstanding.
She started seeking out—in the cafeteria, in the garden, at the rehabilitation facility, and at the gravel patch.
Though I avoided her at first, I didn’t entirely dislike our encounters.
At that age, comparable to a freshman in university by Korean standards, there was sothing fresh and exciting about everything.
When only a few cosmos petals remained, she approached with a book in hand.
I distinctly rember it being a work by Schopenhauer.
A gentle breeze she brought with her made one of the fragile cosmos petals fall.
“If our fates were predetermined from birth…” she began.
“If every fortune, tragedy, and even death were already decided, how should we live?”
I didn’t think her question warranted an answer, but for so reason, I humored her.
“Are you saying we’re like Blu-rays or records?”
“That’s one way to see it.”
She smiled faintly, her distant gaze montarily eting mine.
“Then maybe our role is to play out the stored content to the end.”
“What if it’s soone else’s content stored in us?”
She took a step closer.
Her scent was sothing the cosmos couldn’t offer.
I avoided her gaze, my eyes wandering to dragonflies flitting about—creatures resembling bugs and, in turn, monsters.
“What do you an?”
When I looked back at her, she was staring at the ground.
“What if,” she said hesitantly—a rare sight for her, as hesitation and Na Hye-in didn’t coexist in my mind—“our fates were predetermined to bring us closer? What if we were ant to live as ordinary people, in an ordinary place, just like everyone else?”
“...That’s not a fate I could ever have.”
I dismissed her firmly.
Her expression, a mix of shock and disappointnt, was easy to read, but I showed no reaction.
“Thanks to you, I’ll probably get back to the front lines sooner.”
I was that kind of person back then—soone who could knowingly hurt others and not care if it furthered my goals.
I bowed politely to her.
“I switched teams. They said a new one’s being ford.”
“...I see.”
The gaze that had been fixed on turned once more to the distant horizon.
For a mont, I noticed her scent, which I had briefly forgotten. I ignored it.
Still, it seed I had so lingering feelings.
“...Are you going to quit?”
It was an uncharacteristic question for soone like to ask.
Facing away from , possibly gazing at the cosmos, she gave a faint nod.
I thought that would be our final encounter.
Afterward, her existence faded completely from my mind.
Her battlefield had beco a site of intense combat, where a single day could reduce an entire Chinese regint to the size of a company.
Then one day, I happened to see a blooming cosmos and was briefly reminded of Na Hye-in. I heard news that she hadn’t quit after all.
For a mont, I considered contacting her out of a sense of relief. But in the end, I didn’t.
Ti passed. When she reappeared before as part of my team, we greeted each other with professional detachnt, as though nothing had happened.
It was as if no ti had passed, as if the past didn’t matter.
I suspect she felt the sa. Yet, at that mont, the Na Hye-in standing before seed like a completely different person from the one I had once seen staring at cosmos flowers under a rare blue sky, dragonflies darting over a gravel patch.
Even now, I firmly believe that the sense of dissonance was not only due to her gaze, which seed to stretch further beyond .
A side note: I knew, during those monts when Na Hye-in and I shared the sight of cosmos flowers, that Kang Han-min had been watching us from a distance. He was wearing a cast and leaning on crutches.
Now, both of them have awakened. They’ve beco humanity’s saviors.
My negative feelings toward her weren’t because she had been the one to suggest abandoning after I’d been critically injured and gone missing inside the Rift, struck down by a General-type monster.
The cosmos flower’s symbolic aning is said to be “order.”
For different people, the image of order varies. For those who believe in God, it might signify divine providence.
Predestination, as it’s often called.
Na Hye-in once said that human fate was determined at birth.
According to her logic, she had been destined to be a savior from the start, while I, Park Gyu, had been assigned the fate of a reclusive observer.
“...”
This is not an idea I can accept, nor should I.
Tack, tack.
I posted my musings on the forum.
SKELTON: (Skelton’s Thoughts) Is human destiny predetermined at birth?
Of course, I left out Na Hye-in’s na and the fact that I was a Hunter.
Unlike in the past, the quality of discussions on the forum had declined. Unsurprisingly, my philosophical question received no responses.
But the next day, I noticed a single comnt.
gijayangban: What kind of nonsense is this?
Quietly, I hit the backspace key and got up from my seat.
For so reason, I felt oddly refreshed.
Whether fate is predetermined or not, the sense that everything is utterly screwed is sothing you can feel so vividly.
“...”
Staring at the cosmos blooming in the fields, I felt the rapidly cooling air.
Winter was approaching.
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