Prologue (1)
I was around eight years old when the daily lives of neighborhood kids at that ti were dominated by a robot cartoon that aired every day on TV at 5 p.m. “Soul Warrior Parvache” was its title. Soul Warrior was an old-fashioned and exquisite title. The na Parvache was ambiguously similar to a large 19th-century dog that had frozen to death in the Netherlands. Quite strange, but the cartoon was very popular.
Until then, in the cartoon genre, the concept of a robot was just a “vehicle” made of tal – controlled by the protagonist, but Soul Warrior Parvache was a natural fit as a title. It was all about a giant robot with a soul. It was breaking away from passive mainstream norms of the ti. This unique robot cooperated, communicated, argued, and got outraged with the protagonist’s peculiarities, an elentary school student.
Due to the limited circumstances of the ti, it took a while for the Parvache robot toy to hit the markets; back then, it was the No. 1 treasure that all children had of that era had in their hands. And finally, that day ca for , when after weeks of begging and pleading, my uncle sneaked one of the toy figurines to , unbeknownst to my mother.
‘Oh, I’ll play with this all the ti. I will keep playing with it!’ was what I kept thinking at that ti. I fell asleep with the toy in my arms that day and had a strangely picturesque dream. It was a scene where I couldn’t see my face, and soone very tall was looking down at . The entity clicked his tongue and stretched out his hand to reach . Then, a blue light began to glow within my body. As the light faded and beca smaller, the tall man disappeared almost instantly.
After much ti had passed in the space without him, another change occurred. A cool breeze blew through the pool of light flowing in my heart; it breezed across the room. For so reason, I thought I shouldn’t let the wind go. As if responding to my heart, the sensation I felt for the first ti in my whole body awakened. It felt like warm water was moving gently inside . As if reading my thoughts, the breeze soon began to turn and was drawn towards . It appeared like soone was pulling it by force. The breeze hovered around for a mont and then disappeared as it penetrated the toy which was in my arms.
It was a strange dream. When I woke up in the morning, I looked at the robot in my hand, Parvache. After sleeping one night, I felt like this toy had changed a little, but eventually, I soon forgot about it.
***
The next few days went by in an instant; I played with the Parvache toy without growing even a little tired. Then one day, I was lying on the floor and role-playing, having a cartoony conversation with my toy.
-“It’s a big deal! Parvache! The Duke of Caiman has co in from the tal Planet!”
-“Dangerous! Parvache! I need a second level of power-up!”
-“Parvache! We’re running out of energy! Open the Power of the Soul!”
-“Parvache! People on the street are in danger! We have to rescue them!”
-“Parvache!”
-“Parvache…!”
In my mind, I was a pure soul and wanted to be like the main character in a cartoon, too. I also wanted to be a companion to Parvache, The Soul Warrior, and defeat countless villains as a part of his team. I wanted to talk to Parvache. Just as the protagonist, an ordinary elentary school student, had beco the hero of justice, I desperately wished that such a thing would happen to . I wished Parvache would also co to .
It was then, the strange sensation I felt in my vivid dream a few days ago tickled inside . Sothing like warm water stayed in my head as if it were wavering and swaying in a to and fro motion. Then it flowed down my body and relaxed on my palm for a while. And then it disappeared from the tip of my fingers, leaving only a tingling sensation behind. Finally, my gaze naturally turned to the Parvache figurine, held in my hand, where I felt the sensation as it left my body.
And then it happened.
I felt as if Parvache’s eyes, which were only tiny pieces of green plastic, were moving. Of course, there was no movent in those dull eyes, not even the pupils dilated, but my head recognized that Parvache turned his gaze to look at . And, finally, he spoke to for the first ti, as if it was natural for a toy to speak.
[You, I’ve told you for the 36th ti today…please shut up! Go outside and play! Please don’t ss around and roll around with all day; go out!]
[And don’t get near your head! You spit on !]
[Stop saying crazy thing like “Push shu shu shu!” and “Launch!” like that! You only spit more!]
[And I don’t know what you an! I don’t know what it ans, but please tell one thing at a ti! You’re telling to give you a second level of power, or to open the power of the soul, or to rescue people, just one of them! Of course, I don’t understand what crazy things all of these words an but speak in context so that I can understand!]
[Oh, and damn, what the hell do you an by “Parvache”? I don’t even know its aning! How crappy is the history in this world that it wasn’t in the Akashic Records!?]
[And why do you not understand what I’m saying? It makes no sense that you can’t comprehend while delivering your will to !]
[Oh, how co I was caught by a wizard with a ntal illness and left to suffer like this…]
[You seem like a kid who hasn’t even started to divide his reproductive cells yet. Why the hell haven’t you heard for a few days? Then, you’re talking about crazy sounds alone? Huh? What’s wrong with you? What’s the problem with you?!]
[Why did you suddenly beco quiet? Hey! Why are you shaking? …Can you hear ? Can you hear now, you crazy little bastard?!]
When Parvache’s screaming stopped, I was left speechless.
“…”
After a while, I think I burst into tears, burdened by overwhelming fear.
* * *
My mother didn’t understand why I suddenly threw away the toy I had so desperately begged for. I threw it away and ran to my mother, screaming – ‘Whooo! Mom! Parvache was swearing!’ She scolded and even hit , but eventually, she took to the hospital. My claim – that the toy spoke – was diagnosed as a delusion and an action to attract my parents’ attention. Everyone considered it to be resolvable by ti. But, of course, it wasn’t resolved over ti.
“What do you an, Parvache? If you’re not from the Planet Thor, where are you from?”
[*screaming*…!]
“No, the cartoon said that Parvache ca from the Planet Thor…ah! Stop swearing! And I’m not a wizard!”
[*screaming*…!]
“Channel? What Channel? MBC is number 11. Oh, I told you to stop swearing! What is this ‘Channel’ in my body? Am I a TV? Stop saying weird things.”
[*screaming*…!]
“I’m the only one with a Channel? Strange, my house doesn’t even have SBS… Why am I the only one with that?”
My mother, who looked at with a gloomy face when I was muttering alone with my toy in the corner of my room, quietly approached and put her hand on my back.
“Min-Joon, do you want to watch SBS? There is SBS at grandmother’s house, so shall we go to play next week?”
My mother kept talking to to distract from my abnormal obsession with the toy and from displaying delusional behavior. But I was so distracted by Parvache’s words in my head that I didn’t even respond.
[If you can’t see the Channel in your body, you can assu that the whole body’s magical circuit is blocked. No, you didn’t listen to at first, but you suddenly changed, so you seem to have penetrated the telepathic receiver system in your brain with your magic.]
[That’s an ignorant thod. But it’s a show of great talent.]
[This civilization can be regarded as ignorant of magic as long as it is negligent like this. Well, it is an incredibly young world that hasn’t yet been listed on Akashic Records as you cannot access this level of knowledge regardless….]
[By the way, what kind of Truth-Seeker has sown seeds on the child’s body? Hey, what did you dream of that day? Tell again…]
[Oh, and don’t touch with your nose-picking hands, you damn bastard!]
Parvache repeatedly said that I had a long blue crack in my chest. And he called it a “Channel,” and through that passage, Parvache ca out into this world. Even if I lowered my head and looked inwards, all I saw was the dull-colored cotton T-shirt that I was wearing.
***
Even as a small child, I was sensible. It wasn’t innate, but because I was young and spoke to my figurine at lengths, I was always the center of all things bad – bullying, swearing, and being ostracized by my friends and classmates.
They said, ‘Yoon Min-Joon was crazy. He was talking to a toy.’
The children started to stay away from . I had been transferred several tis. My mother, feeling the burden of expenses, no longer took to the hospital. At this point, my mother could have thrown this toy away, but she chose not to do so. So doctors had said that sudden separation from my toy could worsen my symptoms. My mother, who firmly believed that this delusion ca from a lack of affection, hesitated to throw away the object I was attached to. Moreover, it was because I didn’t have any other friends around anymore.
After a year or so, my head had grown a little bit thicker, and I found out that no one believed . At the school I last transferred to, after the grade was changed, I no longer spoke of Parvache. Then, because my personality had already changed timidly, I didn’t make any good friends. Still, I wasn’t outright bullied at the new school. No one knew the rumors about .
And the conversation between Parvache and continued inside the safety of my house. By that ti, I understood that Parvache wasn’t a hero from the cartoon Planet Thor. Yes, my Parvache wasn’t a soul warrior who ca to save Earth from outer space. Despite realizing that, and even though I couldn’t understand most of the grumbling words in my head, I loved talking to him. I still called him Parvache, but the aning of that na had already changed to sothing more than a robot from a TV cartoon.
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