While I was getting used to my changes, the biggest one was how I could generate my Mana—even if my world had nearly zero native Mana. There was no issue for completely sustaining my magic and abilities.
A flicker of flas danced on my palm before twirling around my fingers like I used to do with coins as a trick.
I don't know why I knew this would improve my proficiency, power and control of my magic, but the knowledge and conclusion inside my mind were solid.
"It's probably related to the strange heart. Can I not speak to Eternia about this?"
[Prohibited]
"What would happen if I did?"
[They would be purged, and you would be punished.]
"Tsk..."
It felt like I got sothing amazing for Christmas but could not share the news with my friends at school.
Since the past two days in the dungeon were so dense, I wanted to take a break and avoid the dungeon for at least a day or two, so I grabbed my phone, feeling worried.
I wanted to have a proper talk with my mother.
Now that I was close to bringing another into the dungeon, I wanted it to be her, and I would not let Eternia or the others teach her.
It was sothing I would do myself.
"Haha... Mother, you worry far too much. Forgive your stupid son for not making sure you were at ease."
Maybe it was due to the changes in my body, but the thoughts and ideas that entered my mind were so clear and unclouded. Most of the issues that held back could finally be cleansed.
[To Mother]
Sorry for the late reply.
I was busy with work, and you don't have to worry, can you et tonight?
Love Rai
x x x.
***
The text didn't make my heart throb or feel an unpleasant sweat.
Now, I could admit that I might be a flawed person.
I felt both the love of a man and woman and sexual attraction to my adoptive mother and no matter how much I denied it in the past, from now on, even if she were to beco disgusted, I will not hide these feelings.
"The truth is that I don't want her to work late, to ruin her body... Or, more honestly, to et another man while she doesn't know my feelings."
"I am selfish... but that is ."
Stepping up off the sofa, I headed to the shower, grabbing a few more expensive bath washes and goods to make myself clean, removing Lumia's scent.
Even now, her sweet and sour scents blew into my nostrils and aroused — tonight, that wasn't the purpose of eting the mother.
Maybe I should start calling her real na to avoid people misunderstanding and judging her in public...
***
After a long shower and self-care session, trimming my nails, excess fur and hair, I stood looking into the huge bedroom mirror as the light shined through my blinds.
"I look nothing like Dad apart from these slightly an eyes. Yet they look quite cool in this suit..."
Finally, the custom suit I ordered arrived when I was half dry. I felt a bit sorry for the delivery guy greeted not by a hot woman wet from the shower in a towel but by a handso male wet and with a towel around his waist... Haha.
The smooth silk of the inner layer and the sleek yet velvety outer layer were amazing.
"Bzzzt"
My phone began to ring, vibrating on the table, and of course, it was Anastasia, my mother.
It was a na that my mother said ant 'resurrection.' It ca from her family's country of origin, which resided in the distant east in an empire made of bitter frost and solid beliefs that so might call inflexible.
Yet it was Mother's motherland.
So I still wanted to visit one day, together with her, who abandoned her future for us to live happily.
*Click*
"Hello? Rai?" Her voice seed to be a little worried but mostly relieved.
"Hi, Mother."
"Do you want to et tonight? I have work, but if you ask, I will take the night off."
She was always gentle and kind, yet I was so selfish and full of my issues that I never noticed how much she would do for with a simple call or text.
"I would love to—please get so rest and use the shower gel and other goods I left in the bathroom for you."
"Eh... Rai, but I searched, that shampoo is more than twenty-five dollars! How can your old mother use that stuff for beautiful young girls?"
"Don't be stupid—no woman can compare to you, even in their Twenties!"
My mother's laughter and tapping her coffee mug as she took a sip made realise the extent of my improvents, almost allowing to hear her heartbeat over the phone.
Would I need to buy so noise-cancelling headphones to avoid migraines? Or can I control it with my mind and willpower?
After that, I began to chat with Mother for the first ti in a long ti.
No...
Had we ever spoken like normal adults before? I listened to her complain about her co-workers making her clean more linens and giving her the boring tasks.
It was nice to hear a mother complain and laugh at stupid things.
"Eh, but mother, do you clean linen at a club? I don't understand."
"Hmmm?" She responded with a confused sound before making a loud noise and taking a deep breath.
"Hahaha... Oh my, did you still think I worked there after all this ti? Rai... You are so adorable!"
"What!? I thought..."
"Have you forgotten what you said to when you were twelve, and I still worked those jobs?"
I didn't rember.
Rather, anything from my past used to be shrouded in a thick darkness.
However, now the fog and darkness were slowly thinning out to reveal my dad's smiling face even when his hair was gone, and he looked a little thin...
A mory flashed when I was twelve.
There was a young boy with golden blonde hair, which was a little curly, wearing an action hero t-shirt and shorts, rubbing his eyes as a beautiful woman, maybe twenty-two at most, stumbling through the door.
She slt like alcohol and seed struggling to walk as the boy helped her. He didn't like the sll or the strange feeling of a different mother.
"Mom... Do you have to work at this place? I don't like it when you co ho drunk and sll like other n... What about dad..."
His mother suddenly trembled and looked at the body, her lips slling like alcohol and cigarettes, kissing the boy's forehead gently, but due to the sll, he struggled and pushed her away, causing them both to fall back.
The mother was on the sofa while the boy hit his head on the glass table and fell to the ground with a bloody face.
"Ah... Rai... Mommy didn't an it... Rai..."
My mind returned to the future as she spoke about how she worked the night shift at a hotel for eleven years and quit the job as soon as possible...
"Haha... you were so angry and adamant that night. Now I can laugh about it, but the mont I saw how much you disliked it, you fell."
"I took that as a sign and instead began to work at a cafe for a while until getting this job and managing to beco a permanent mber after two years."
Feeling a sense of vertigo, I sat down, feeling that my worst enemy was my mind.
For so long, I had been adamant about many idiotic things and made pointless walls and distance between myself and those who loved most!
"Why didn't you tell sooner... I always thought..!"
"Silly boy, do you think I don't know or understand how much you struggle each day?"
"How could I pour my troubles onto you?"
"You're my son, and I am supposed to protect you, yet I failed and wanted to wait till I could confidently speak with you."
"Haha..." Her laugh was a little low and lacked a bright tone.
"Yet you were the one that suddenly began to grow up. The strange things you would talk about stopped, and the dark look on your face vanished... You even stopped smashing the mirrors if you saw your reflection."
All the mories without the distorted filter began to flood into my mind without the help of Eternia or others, just my mother's words and my heart open and willing to accept them.
Images of her brushing up the glass as I whispered about being disgusting and ugly... Yet in the mirror was the sa face I now have, just a little thinner and pale.
So many events distorted in my mind made feel pathetic and cringe at how stupid and insane I must have been!
I covered my eyes and tried to stop my lips trembling from all the pain I had caused both Aki and mother...
"Oh, my~ are you crying, Rai?"
"I'm not crying..."
"Fufu... where are you taking tonight?"
"Eh?"
"Aren't you taking Mommy out for a al?"
"..."
That's right, since you know your errors and what I have done wrong, why wallow in self-pity, Rai?
No matter how much you regret, the past won't change.
However, the future can!
"You're right, it's a date. So I plan to take you sowhere good. You better dress nice!"
"Ah~ what should I do? My son is trying to eat with his newly gained money!"
"Mother!?"
There was another deep breath from her side of the phone. I could hear her lips opening and closing several tis as her saliva, and lipgloss smacked each ti.
"Rai..."
"Yeah?"
"You know..."
"When you give massages to people..."
"..."
Sothing seems strange.
"Ahaha... It isn't very comfortable to say, but... Continuing our last talk... You see as a woman, right? Not just your mother."
"!!!???"
She sounded a little playful, but it was strange, surreal. Did soone else take the place of my mother? How would she ask such a question!?
"Rai... I won't shout or get mad. You were nearly ten, and I was only eighteen when I started looking after you."
At that mont, I realised just how young my mother was in reality...
"Haha... do you think I couldn't hear the na you would call out when doing those bad things in your room late at night before I left for work... Or when you massaged , you would do the sa bad things..."
I want to die...
Soone killed or hit my head with an iron bar, so I forget these things!
"..."
"Mmmmm."
"Don't mind!"
The cute words of encouragent shattered my pride and the things I did in secret, which seed to have been included in things I pretended never happened...
"Ahh... I want to die..."
"Hahaha... sorry, I thought you might be able to accept your stupid mistakes and actions with how clear and calm you were on the phone."
"I an, it's normally out if you stick your fingers in there when massaging soone you know?"
"I hope you don't do that to other girls or Aki..."
My dark history ca to the surface, and I took critical damage before she snorted, seeming amused at my silence...
Was my mother this playful and cheeky before?
"Well, don't beat yourself up too much about it. At first, I wanted to beat your little head in... But I am partly to bla, too. A young woman has needs, and it wasn't like I could get a man with our debt and house..."
Hmmm?
"Rai, that place, I am sure you know now, is VERY sensitive... Do you think your unskilled hands wouldn't have woke up... or how I always seed to adjust or move my hips so you reached the nice spots..."
"You're not that dense to not realise I was awake, right..."
"..."
This woman managed to soothe and heal my pride, but now it all ca crashing down! She knew...
All along!
"Well, after a few years of doing it, you beca too good..."
Torn between hearing the words of soone you saw as your mother, speaking about her sexual desire and pleasure and being a woman you saw and wanted to hear these things was more confusing and weird than I thought...
So, shortly after this, we ended the call and agreed to et later tonight.
I sent another Three hundred thousand to the debt repaynt, lowering it by a large chunk again before leaning back against the sofa with a big sigh, covering my eyes.
"Damn... why was I so cringe and disgusting, and is mother broken too? There's no way a normal person would accept it..."
While my thoughts were still tornting , the door suddenly opened with Haruka and Elizabeth skipping inside with several bags of clothes and other items while chatting happily about a brand of makeup or sothing...
When did these two get along together?
My mind beca clearer, and the problems plaguing faded as I moved closer to my ideal...
The more insane the people around seed!
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